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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by Lilly14

  1. Thats a good start, but that doesn't guarantee success. Some girls/their families like to marry drastically up, and some girls become highly educated and don't need to necessarily marry someone that simply makes a bit more than her father. On the other hand, I've known girls from middle class families marry lower class men.
  2. Dua 186 seems to be geared towards brothers, does anyone know if the dua would work for sisters who recite it, since it seems to have so much success alhamdollilah for brothers.
  3. I appreciate it when other brothers shame this type of behavior, like you are now.
  4. Tell me about it! Now on top of random stranger single Muslim men pestering us on social media, increasingly me and other single and never married before Muslim sisters in our 20s are noticing friend requests and message requests from random stranger married Muslim men, some with little kids and/or their wife in their profile picture... We easily ignore these single and married men, but may Allah swa help their wives who are probably clueless.
  5. Many of us don't have practicing Muslim cousins, so marriage with them is off the table for us already. I'd image that this is becoming more common. We have trouble finding spouses even in large Shia communities lol.
  6. By your logic, then men must have Conducted this 'study' posted by op
  7. This is only one study. I'm sure there are other studies that say women are more disadvantaged overall. Considering girls and women are more commonly subjected to child marriages, sex slavery, less access to education in poor countries. Even in such a developed country like the US, rapists rarely ever get jail time, and in some states can be given paternity rights to the child that they conceived from rape.
  8. Is he getting professional psychological therapy, and taking medication? If he's not on medication is he working with his doctor to try different medications to see what works for him??? He needs to be actively trying to help himself, while you support him, if not, it's not your job as a wife to stay and put up with this. That's my opinion of course. Keep in mind some medications can have side effects that make you much more angry, I wonder if this is what's happening?
  9. Sheikh Nasser has created a following of Shia and Sunni Muslims through funny and serious posts about family, society etc, and he also sometimes promotes Shia beleifs. Plus, Sunni Muslims have so many scholars that have a huge following online, and I think its a shame if as Shia we don't have those, which might be help some Sunni Muslims be more exposed to Shia beliefs, so even if they don't become Shia, at least they get to know more about real Shia beliefs, since they are often fed absurd and baseless propaganda about us, and even a little bit more of peace between us is great in my opinion. And in general, I think our online presence is a bit lacking, since I learned first hand how hard it is to find easy to follow resources about shiasm all in one place online, which would be helpful for revert and Sunni Muslims.
  10. I know of Sheikh Azhar Nasser, but do you know any other ones, especially those that also post about social, family, and other topics? Thank you!
  11. Cultural appropriation is for example when someone who treats members of a culture/race like crap because of their negative biases, or they do not have respect for the cultural beliefs, but then casually takes some things from that culture/race. For example, when students in western schools make fun of middle eastern or Asian students "smelly" food but then are quick to get henna done because it's pretty. Or when people wear native American headresses for Halloween, even though in native culture, headdresses are a high honor and are not meant to be worn by everyone.
  12. I've seen guys in your position get married to nice girls through community match making. It's not impossible!
  13. Go to your local Shia mosque or drive out to Shia mosques in nearby cities and talk to the Maulana and say that you are seeking a wife. There are aunties at the mosque who have matchmaking networks that reach all over the country, and beyond lol... There are even Shia matrimonial seminars in the US certain times a year where Shia singles can meet others while keeping it halal. You have to be willing to spend time and money simply to find a wife. Its not uncommon in the Shia community in the US for mom's of single men or single men themself to fly out to several US cities visiting mosques and Islamic seminars until they find a spouse.
  14. Assalamoalaykom brothers and sisters! I'm talking to a fellow sister that is a revert from Christianity and she was confused about Shia and Sunni Islam. I thought about providing the Shia Encyclopedia on Al-Islam .org And while I appreciate its Shia and Sunni hadith evidence. But there is so much info, it might overwhelm a revert... So I would be grateful for any resources that could help her please! Jazakallah!
  15. Yeah I'm going to do that next time. The last time this happened, it was at a religious family's wedding, and I didn't expect them to bring a videographer in to do that. I learned my lesson. But you're right there might be some secretly horrible people who might film you on their phones.
  16. Many people decide they want to "have fun" at their weddings, even sometimes people who are regulars at the mosque and/or are from religious backgrounds, so you KNOW they know the rules on what is and isn't acceptable. My biggest pet peave is in women/men separated weddings and the female videographer comes in and starts recording all the ladies out of the blue while we're chatting and eating and don't realize it. Excuse me??? I can't tell you how many times this has happened. Like at least warn us to put our hijabs on.
  17. I hope everything is working out for you now sister inshaallah! Alhamdolillah not many aunties talk to me about me needing to get married even though im nearing my 30s, but even when they I do I know they mean well so I don't feel annoyed like the girl in the video.
  18. And Reveresly, potentially delaying marriage might mean finding someone better. I've known girls who waited many years and regretted it, and I've known girls who waited many years and found really amazing guys. Marriage is one of the biggest life decisions, @tri-star And remember we have to confront the outcome of both what we decide to do, and also what we decide not do. Inshaallah things go well for you!
  19. There are some duas on duas.org for finding a suitable spouse. Inshaallah it will work out.
  20. For those with mental illness, some types of mental illnesses can’t be controlled with just mindset and religion, because the illness has to do with their brain's biology. They might also need family support, therapists, medication, etc.
  21. That's wrong. Only Allah swa knows and can dictate how much a person deserves to punished by Him and whether they go to Hell. Allah swa is most merciful thankfully. We can't forget that.
  22. I want to point out that sometimes even the loved ones closest to a person like don't know if someone has depression. There was a boy in my high school that committed suicide. He was popular (liked by everyone in school because he was friendly to everyone regardless if they were his friends or not), doing well in school, had a twin sister he was close with etc. And even she didn't see it coming. He was an active member our school's Christian faith club too. So he was exactly the last person you'd expect to lose hope. So judging by what you said about that boy (his extreme dispair and extreme fretting over sinning) no one can rule out depression or other mental illnesses, since often mental illness is comorbid. Allah swa knows best. Such a sad story regardless.
  23. Her intention is not exclusion. There is a culture shock being raised in a non-Muslim household most of your life and then becoming Muslim, because Islam is very much a lifestyle, and there are so many intricacies that you have to integrate into your life. And while western born Muslims have often similar problems as reverts, it's very different at times. Say, how to deal with parents who don't like that you're a revert Muslim, and as a born Muslim I could never understand that major struggle, but I'm sure some other reverts can. I've seen many mosques in the west have groups, but if no one wants to take initiate for making one specific group, doesn't mean there should be no other groups.
  24. Waalaykomassalam. As with many groups, someone's going to have to be passionate enough abut the initiative do the heavy lifting, as in you're going to have to take leadership yourself by finding members and organizing the group yourself. Like tell sisters in your mosque who are reverts to join or ask others to inform reverts they know about you're initiative. I'm sure your mosque would be OK with hosting the group, and if not, you guys could designate a meet up spot yourselves or if that's too inconvenient, make a facebook group maybe so you can all communicate without trying to find a meeting date that will work with everyone's scheduals. Many mosques have Qur'an groups, youth groups, women's only programs, besides the regular programs, I think it would be nice for reverts to have their own groups too.
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