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In the Name of God بسم الله

Lilly14

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  1. Jazakallahkhayr! Glad I don't have to feel guilty about this.
  2. On Facebook I get a lot of messages from muslim brothers who come across my profile who greet me with salam, and at first I used to say waalaykomassalam in response, and then they expected a conversation which was usually regarding how they were looking to see if I was interested in marriage to them. Seeing as I am not looking for marriage, especially by random strangers, now I don't respond to them at all in order not to waste my time having a pointless conversation with them. Is it okay that I am not responding to their salams? I have heard on several occasions that you MUST respond to salams.
  3. She's Irish and lives there. I linked her this post. Thank you so much!
  4. A muslim friend has a husband that is abusive. So she wants to get a divorce ASAP, and wants to know how to do so exactly. Jazakallah Khayr!
  5. Hijab is applicable wherever you go as a muslim woman who makes the commitment to wear hijab. Hijab does not become useless and not applicable suddenly when you go into a different country or society. Hijab does not put me in danger, nor does it annoy me, or cause me problems. You might think that Western men are more respecting towards women, but there are still many that will cat call even hijabi women believe it or not, and I know this from experience. And like I mentioned before, hijab for me is more than just covering my body from non-mahram men.
  6. You sound as though you've done statistical research on hijabis in the West, Caliguy lol. Part of respecting women is respecting their decision of what they wear. Muslim men need to stop giving their opinion on the the hijab, lack of hijab, or what they deem to be the "improper" hijab of women, especially if they have no relation to those women. I think "improper" hijab is better than no hijab at all. And "improper" hijab is relative anyways, for some niqab is "proper" hijab, for others an abaya is "proper" hijab, etc. We can't and won't be able to satisfy everyone. Muslims and non-muslims BOTH enjoy telling hijabis what to wear and how it wear it. Let hijabis decide for themselves. At the end of the day, everyone will be accountable for their own actions.
  7. Hijab is required for women in Islam, but just because you think it isn't required doesn't make it true. But I do believe woman should not be forced to wear hijab if they don't want to, and reversely women should not be forced to take off their hijab. But I do agree that the majority of men in most societies do not respect women. Women should be respected whether they wear hijab or not. We are all humans.
  8. Honestly, I never fear like I'm in danger when I wear hijab in the U.S. So I would not worry over it too much. I just avoid going out alone walking at night, but many non-hijabi/non-muslim women do that too.
  9. I've been wearing hijab in the United States since I was 8 and now I'm almost 24. My mom actually never asked me to put it on,and I was the one who told her I wanted to do it. I honestly don't think most people think we're powerless and weak. I mean I've never been approached about that being their perception except for when I'm online. But I do think we are judged, but we are not the only one's who get judged by our appearance in our society, so it doesn't bother me much at this point. I do think people may avoid hijabis because they are unsure about us, but getting to know others definitely helps clear up misconceptions. But I usually don't mind not being approached by people because I'm an introvert. As for your question about whether other people make me feel different or if my perception of myself makes me feel different... I would say both. When you're a hijabi, most of the time you aren't hit on by guys, and the people who do try to get to know you are open minded people, so you're experience is going to be different than the average woman here. BUT no one goes through life the same anyways. And I feel like I'm different because I perceive it as such. My characteristics are different from most people, even my own family. So, even though I enjoy "normal" things, even if I wasn't a hijabi, I would still consider myself different than others in terms of personality, interests, etc. All in all, I think we need to focus on the benefits of hijab,. The personal benefits of hijab to me is that it helps me be humble about my appearance, it helps hide my insecurities, I spend less time worrying how I look/getting ready, and it's a feminist statement for me as well because I live in a society obsessed with sexualizing women and squishing them into very specific molds. I've also reached a point in my life, that I don't care too much about what strangers think about me, or people that I'm not close with. I'm happy with who I am, and I don't think it's worth worrying about the fact that I don't fit in all the time. It's taken me a lot of struggle in high school ad middle school to get to this personal understanding regarding hijab though, but I'm glad I learned from it.
  10. Hello! I got a message from someone who is interested in Prophet Mohammad. Specifically she said "Can you tell me all that you can about the last prophet Muhammad? I want to know about him. I want to more about all he has done and why he is so special." I've been looking for some resources for her on reliable Islamic websites like Al-Islam but there is way too much information (dozens of pages worth of info) on those sites for someone who is only at the point that she's curious about Islam, and it will probably overwhelm her at this point. So, if any brothers and sisters know of any reliable resources pertaining to her question that are short and easy to read I would be very thankful. Especially if it has information about the Prophet's life, his miracles, what makes him special, etc. Jazakallakhayr!
  11. You just have a strict sense of gender roles. People are changing things because some women want to take an advantage of fulfilling and sometimes vital opportunities that their mother's and grandmother's didn't have. My dad prevented my mom from learning English to be able to get a job in the U.S. so she would feel helpless and could never be on her own with her little children. Her inability to support herself is another reason she had to stay with my dad for so many years. For me my education and career is my ticket to being able to take care of myself if my future husband turns out to be anything like my abusive dad. I'm in my last semester of my bachelor's degree, and after that is graduate school inshallah, so after all that time and effort, inshallah I would continue to work when I am married. And as for a robber, I also plan to go to self-defense classes once I find a female instructor, which is hard because I live in a small town at the moment. I also expect that my husband will help me with household chores, and with taking care of any kids, if I ever want to have any. I believe in equality in marriage. That being said, I respect anyone who chose to follow traditional gender roles, it's just not for some people like me.
  12. Being brave is a relative term. Yes being selfless and brave in the face of danger is the bravest thing possible. But there other things that make a person brave too! Why is being open with your emotions throwing away your masculinity? Being a "man" is a relative term too. Being a man will be different to you, and every man. There is no one correct way to be a man. And also, let me tell you, my dad was a masculine man. He was not open with his feelings. But guess what? He was abusive scum. My mom's best friend's husband is openly expressive with his emotions, and guess, what they have the most supportive relationship I have ever seen. You can't just make up facts, and say that men who are comfortable with being open about their feelings will cause divorce lol. @baradar_jacksonAnd as for the strength of men being able to contain their emotions to their "damn selves". Women have been doing that for ages too. For thousands of years, it was not uncommon for women had suffer through beatings by their husbands, and yet always stay by his side because a good wife in all societies had to stand by her husband no matter what. That's how my grandma and mom were raised. This type of mentality is still present in some traditional societies today. So if you're basing you're definition of a traditional men's strength on keeping emotions to yourself, then you're also saying that the definition of a traditional men's strength is also a traditionally feminine strength. And that would mean that keeping your emotions to yourself isn't such a masculine trait after all.
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