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In the Name of God بسم الله


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  1. Just remember if you plan to have a spouse/kids, they might not want the same lifestyle, as in having only the bare minimum basics like food, as you said.
  2. Oh wow, I never knew that this belief would be held by a sheikh. Inshaallah things go well for you in all aspects of life, and it doesn't reach the point of more conflict for you. Inshaallah, so would I inshaallah. But I was saying that any Shia men would be lucky to marry you for many reasons, including that they know you're not marrying them for their citizenship, since you already have yours.
  3. If worst comes to worst, and your parents try to coerce you to marry a specific syed you're not interested in, maybe you're going to have to get your mosque's sheikh and/or family friends to have an intervention with your parents, to talk some sense into them that in Islam, you don't have to marry a syed or that they can't force you to marry someone you don't want to. And if someone truly wants to marry you, they will accept reasonable conditions that you place on your nikah contract, like right to travel or right to work. You're an educated, virtuous syed girl who has UK citizenship, any Shia guy would be BEYOND LUCKY to marry you. If they don't accept your conditions, it's their loss because virtuous girls are very hard to find in the west, and syed girls aren't very common in the west either. Yes, they could marry someone from Asia or the Middle East, but as many of us Muslim women and men with US, UK, Canadian etc citizenship know, there's a risk with marrying a non-citizen because the non-citizen may be desperate to get out of their country and only accepted the marriage to get a visa or citizenship easily through marriage, and will get a divorce once they get it... which could be a huge financial blow for men if you consider the possibility of division of assets, child support, etc.
  4. Wait a minute. What will they disown you over? It's a little unclear, and I don't want to jump to conclusions
  5. Maybe there was an entire childhood of abuse, isolation, or oppression involved in those cases. My mom was very affectionate and the only place in my life she was strict about was hanging out, and even then, I wasn't deprived of social interaction outside of school growing up and had neighbor friends, friends in the mosque, and friends on the school girl's soccer team in certain periods of my life. I was miserable sometimes as a teen too because I didn't want my mom around when I was hanging out, but I moved passed it in college because we were busy and my friends mostly moved out of the city, but thanks to the internet/phones we could still keep in touch. But I can understand her feelings since obviously we didn't share the exact same circumstances in life, and she is more concerned about the importance of being proficient in day to day social interaction required of an adult, which I didn't care much about since I'm a type B personality and I figured I'd learn it slowly with practice, which I find college helps with. -------------------- I really hope you don't get coerced into a marriage you don't want. Not to mention, as women we are not guaranteed to get more freedom after marriage, because in some instances, husbands are just as, if not more restrictive as our parents. So, if you do decide to get married, you might have to get the freedoms you want clearly stated on your nikah contract so that, for example, you don't need your husband's permission to travel or work after you marry him. @YaAliMadad110786
  6. That's exactly why many of us adult Muslim girls, and sometimes adult Muslim guys, have to abide by the same rules as we did when we were little kids (no sleepovers, no visiting friend's homes without a parent, etc) and teens (no overnight school field trips, no dorms, don't go out alone at night, etc). And from all the insane and scary incidents people who didn't have parents like ours share on social media, I now agree that it's better to be safe than sorry, and I don't resent my mom for how she raised me or that she's still very protective.
  7. I understand your situation with the hanging out aspect, and even though I'm in my 20s I still have the same strict hanging out rules as I did in high school. But it's slightly better since my mom won't call or suddenly show up to see if I'm really where I say I am or with who I say I am with like she did when I was in high school. I think she finally learned to trust me alhamdollilah. I'm already introverted, but as I've grown older I've naturally become less concerned about hanging out with friends in person, and also you and your friends get very busy as adults, so you have less time to hang out... So maybe you'll feel like that too sooner or later.
  8. I'm not sure. I think it depends on what was promised. Like if his family promised to pitch in for the normal wedding expenses (rings, venue, catering etc) and now they say won't pitch in at all, can he pitch in something himself, so that it's not just my family paying for everything? About his family's attitude, I'd hesitate about what to do, and discuss that with my mom in depth since she has much more personal life experience, and surely knows couples who went through similar situations and how it worked out for them.
  9. That's tough a situation, I can't imagine how bad the experiences were that led him to the extreme of hating God. Good luck to you, and I hope your friend finds God again someday.
  10. Never give up faith and that your family can change, and keep them in your prayers do that inshaallah Zareey will be guided. But even if they don't, know that an understanding person and/or their family that is considering to marry you knows that they shouldn't judge your iman by your family's iman. The fact that you've kept your iman despite being surrounded by people in your family and community that aren't practicing Muslims says a lot about your will to hang on to your iman mashaallah and alhamdollilah! Inshaallah you fill find an understanding and good spouse one day when it's right! P.S. many religious people have family that aren't religious, so it's not as uncommon as you may think!
  11. "There is no minimum amount set for Mahr although various Hadith suggest that it not be excessively low. Imam Sadiq (‘a) has cited Imam ‘Ali (‘a) through his forefathers: I do not like Mahr to be less than ten dirham, so it does not resemble the payment of a prostitute." https://www.al-Islam.org/introduction-rights-and-duties-women-Islam-ayatullah-ibrahim-amini/mahr-women-and-its-philosophy
  12. I don't think that was his intention to insinuate all or almost all women need to wear niqab.
  13. All hijabi women have at least a few points in their hijab wearing life have been ogled or catcalled, even while wearing loose and long fitting clothes and no makeup. This conclusion of yours would make Niqab wajib for all Shia women. And most of us by no means agree with your conclusion, nor is it practical in western countries, where even non-niqab hijab upsets some people and/or indangers us.
  14. Good luck to you! I'm so happy you've decided to research Shia Islam!
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