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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by Muslimthought97

  1. So you essentially saying in some sort of scenario, if a woman does not want to sleep with a man it is morally justifiable for him to impose himself? If you can give me an example ill work with you otherwise that's alot of words to essentially say rape is ok sometimes. For your example to force feeding, again controversial but if given consent you are letting them do as they please, if you force feed you are saving their lives, not the same as getting your own sexual pleasure fulfilled against someone else's will. Adultery is not moral as it harms another party, and again consent is required from both parties to commit such an act but you cannot equate the two the same way because we never said adultery is justified due to consent, as what is does with 'sex slaves'. I will stop commenting as I think I've gone on long enough, I hope people reflect on this.
  2. Yes that is correct a small number to what I saw have said marriage is also required however theres not much justificationfor the latter. One major point that is raised against the Hadith claiming the slaves gave consent was that no woman would be seduced and want to have intercourse with a man who just killed her family and taken them as captives and made to work to regain their 'freedom'. This is used to say that the consent was made up when written down. I always like to present both sides of the story, and you can make judgement. Yes pretty much.
  3. Almost all allow but on different spectrums, I.e. some say it either has to be consensual and some say can be non consensual and can share them like property as mentioned previously. I don't have specifics as ive read so many I don’t keep track, though it is very easy to search up many scholars and their opinions I guarantee the same results
  4. That is how to acquire slaves yes, and many try to sweep it under the rug saying it wont happen again. If Israel attacks any country, and that victim country retaliates and wins the war, then suddenly all this sex slavery stuff will be 100% islamically justified. Now imagine women and children who havent got anything to do with such wars being victim so such ideas. Wars are waged all the time, all you have to do is point at who started it. When I referred to the ISIS, it is not the method they acquired them to be halal, but the other things they did and do to those poor women can be reasonably justified to some degree Also what makes things far more disturbing is, that it is generally accepted when a woman has had her period Ie 9 years old then they are a woman. Fighters would be allowed to actually take away children and according to many have non-consensual intercourse (Ie rape) with such children and adults alike, ofcourse all in the name of Allah. I do not bring in my own opinions on these rules, these are well 'justified' by scholars. I am merely exposing such 'loopholes' and reasons why people have serious issues with such rulings, and as Ibh Hussain said prevously, people leave the religion from such things.
  5. Welcome to promoting rape Scholars seem to try justify the use of female slaves for sex, whether consensual or not, it is abhorrent to hold such views. If Muslim women were taken and others did this to them I'm not sure people would be so quick to say, 'Well they are just a slave so you can do whatever you want'. And some wonder where did ISIS get their justifications from? And people wonder why those who use a rational mind and logic reject such a faith.
  6. Salam, I am a big fan of Ayatollah Yousef Saanei because he is the Marja so far I have found that hold very logical, modern and I can resonate with. I want to know are there any books in English and if not in Arabic that I can read? I want to learn more about his fiqh, rules, anything essentially. I want to learn more about this man and his beliefs. If anyone can help that would be much appreciated! Thanks, hayder
  7. I would like to mention, to prevent this issue it starts far earlier than in the moment. I remember being 15, 16 and telling my parents I 'loved' someone (yes I know 15 y/o thinking) and as my parents were very close to me they did not judge straight away and say, NO!. They asked me about them, what it is that I like about them and what the future would look like with such a person. They didnt tell me its wrong, they showed me a different perspective to understand and draw my own conclusion as to why it was wrong. I tell you, had they not been so open with me and supportive, I would have definitely rebelled. It is thanks to that open minded thinking that helped me understand.
  8. If it helps, look up the 'Semen retention' community (a derivative of noFap movement) where Men even with girlfriends do not have any release and retain it will help you see Celibacy in a completely different light and as a very motivating thing until you can get married. it was truly life changing for me. As a word of advice, you are in it for the release but the woman is usually in it for a long-term relationship. The moment you put your 'fire' out you will realise you are now committed to something that will cause you alot of problems and prevent any opportunity of marrying a muslima. this is just my 2 cents, best of luck Brother.
  9. You know what though I think this would be an amazing idea for students, I have been renting with people for 5 years because I cannot afford to yet live alone until I finish my studies, and I have grown extremely tired of others lack of hygiene, cleanliness etc. common house issues. As I spend all my time in my bedroom anyways having a small 'home' like this would be an amazing thing to have and surely shouldnt be as expensive as a 1 bedroom flat.
  10. This just sounds like utter nonsense just oh wow (not to you OP but to the fact someone even sat there to think up of such stuff)
  11. Take the recommendations of others but honestly, just you do you with good intentions and Allah's got your back. You will be fine just don’t get hung up on the issue too much ain't nothing anyone can do to you.
  12. Apologies then for my ignorance, to me it sounded a little distasteful and I would hope you could understand my point as I was taking it as a literal meaning. I wasn't aware it was stated as such. (still bothers me but thats another issue) I agree with you however about dishing out the mutah formula everytime a thought of a woman crosses to mind.
  13. Forgive me if I sound rude as it is not my intention, but I don't understand how one can draw a conclusion and say that both nikah and mutah are marriages and not 'relationships' but then when it comes to responsibility the man can simply ignore his in the latter? I also think it is distasteful to call mutah 'a woman who agrees to be rented for use' as that's most definitely not the nature of it (quoted as in previous post). If I partake in Mutah I don't ask a woman can I please rent you for a night? As they are not objects, instead you are establishing an intimate relationship with such person, both attracted both want to be close perhaps nikah not a viable option who knows, but to think of it purely as a business transaction where you 'rent' them I believe is wrong. It can only make sense to me that if both are the same thing I.e. marriage, only difference is one ends after a finite time the other indefinite then the responsibilities are the same in both.
  14. Cherish every moment with him so inevitebly when he moves on you regret nothing. That is the key to all, anyone and any moment in life try be as present and cerish it as much as you can because we never know when it can be taken away. Think of the positive rather than the negative inshallah he will have several more years to live.
  15. Yes I agree with the two of you should be disclosed asap. I am glad to have opened and read this discussion as habib said it has helped me realise the Mutah is a marriage more than a 'relationship' how it's percieved. This is a very interesting way of seeing it and both would be disclosed on the CV either way so neither is hidden on the next 'job' (in this case marriage just adding to analogy)
  16. Interesting I knew it was ofcourse a marriage but didnt think one would be a divorcee after at least didnt occurr to me, what you said does make sense though I appreciate the reply
  17. Salam, The question is pretty straight forward but I am not sure what is the correct thing to state when meeting someone. I know you don't have to state previous haram relationships as you are allowed to conceal you're previous sins except if virgin or not to what I know, this is what I was taught. But if someone is a virgin and contracts Mutah, at the end what do you think is the most correct 'status' for someone to label themselves as unmarried or divorced? Would you say you can still call yourself unmarried, even if you are not a virgin in a mutah relationship? Or islamically are you now and should state you are divorced? I ask this because many martimonial services ask this as basic info and when you mention divorced people seem to shun you away and it lowers likelihood of getting married but if you had a Mutah it's not technically the same as having a permanent nikah with someone and things went wrong then divorce etc. Similarly you wouldn't say you are divorced if one was in a haram relationship prior also? I am looking for answers to this question please. and it is not to reflect me just a question I cannot seem to independently find the answer to. I am thinking of the other person and how they would percieve it if you said you were unmarried but then turns out you had previous mutah relationship(s). Many thanks to those who share their opinions.
  18. Sorry but this is very wrong, for a long time I switched from eating meat almost daily to very rarely and mostly vegan, mostly in support of my partner. Meat and dairy is not essential and these days its not actually healthy, its a trick by the industry watch some documentaries that became very popular and see the behind the scenes of these industries. When I left eating meat and dairy all the time my irritative bowel syndrome improved vastly, skin cleared up, much better energy levels and overall increase in happiness. You appreciate that when you sit to eat a piece of meat eventually that something had to die for this to be on you're plate. Back in the day yes meat and dairy was essential because they did not have the access and abundance of different sources of foods as we do now. You must keep this into account when looking at these hadiths (if they're all true) the same way they needed to drink alcohol for a long time as it was safer to drink than water due to contamination in the desert. There is so much research and scientific data that recommends less or no meat it is insane, it is the carnal desire to cling on to it that makes us convince ourselves we need it so much. I can talk about this topic all day but best thing I would do is do a little research and you'll see what I mean.
  19. As someone who was a shy introvert many of their younger years this is how I changed. First there is no such thing as completely 'fearless' its the ability to feel fear and not be constrained by it. First build your confidence, go to the gym, work alot on something become really good at it, then to slowly overcome fear do things that take you outside your comfort zone. I went abroad once with no phone or anything and went out sightseeing and taught myself to memorise routes back to my hotel as a mental test to handle stress. This is just an example. Another is public speaking, at school uni or work volunteer to speak publicly because thats a fear many have. Also IF you engage in masturbation (yes its very common issue for many so im saying IF) then quit that and go start nofap or something. That alone sucks your confidence to 0. As you knock down barriers in your comfort zone you'll become more fearless. Become friends with the adrenaline rush of fear, if it wasnt for that things like skydiving and bunjee jumping wouldn't be fun because there's no sense of fear for the adrenaline rush.
  20. When I was around 17 18 I wanted absolutely nothing to do with religion no more and stopped practicing altogether. I didnt actually commit haram deeds as it was too engrained in me not to do so and struggled with it for 4 years. After seeing where the western lifestyle put many people around me I noticed the blessing of having guidance in my life and how damaging all the haram is. I think this may just be a phase and you have to be gentle with him, the worst thing you can do to someone who doesn't want to pray is keep telling them to pray. Put non Islamic lectures self development ones he may be drawn to them and they talk about wasting time on video games etc. I listened to alot of Steve Harvey and as he is a believer in God I was slowly drawn to the way he thought about it and I respected him. Give him time, gently advice and subtle reminders and iA he will come around
  21. I hate to deviate from OP ad don’t want it to go off track but to nip this in the bud, The Qur'an dosen't allow you to every kill anyone except in the situation of war or threat to your life (w/limits). Shameful acts etc. do not come under either of the two so please just disregard all these rulings as false. It is out of simple logic that should draw one to realise this would violate basic human morals. As my counter to this would be, if a man does a shameful act with another woman (which is slightly more common) would she have the divine right to kill him? pretty sure not a single scholar would say yes so thats the answer vice versa. Don't hit, don’t beat, don't kill any living thing without reason, period. Anything that tells you to do so is false/wrong. As the Prophet said something along the lines of "Whatever is not align with the Qur'an, disregard it". Alhamdulilah brother you pointed this out as some (not I've seen on this site) use it as a justification to hit a woman. Insha'Allah those who are married treat their women as their Queens and they can be witness to Allah you were a good, loving, caring spouse, and to those of us who are not yet married to be blessed with a pious spouse whom we can treat them just as well.
  22. If it helps this is what I learnt that helped me belief in God 1) What are my options? Do I believe and follow the religion or I can disbelieve and turn to atheism which seems to lead to a western lifestyle. 2) If I choose to disbelieve, will my life be for the better? will I become a better person? Then if I believe what will happen instead? 3) I looked at all the Prophets and Imams, all with the same message for many many years, all living selfless and only concerned with humanity, could it be all these great nobles were all deluded and got it wrong? They all somehow ended up with the same false message? 4) The Qur'an seems to be logically sound, with predictions that came true to add to the authencicity of the message I came to a 'strange' or 'unpopular' conclusion, I really don’t care or am not concerned with a Heaven or Hell, thats not why I am religious, this way of life has improved me as a human, many non-Muslims look up to me thanks to the discipline and manners Islam has taught me, respected amongst colleagues, always sought for when it comes to advice, taught to never cheat, lie and steal which attracts people and how to love those around me. Plus believing Allah is on your side essentially means you have a friend with the universe under their command and supports you, if this dosen't provide mental power (whether real or not) for a human mind I don't know what will. After all these blessings only in themselves, that was enough for me. In the world of hypothetically and philosophy you will find interesting points and concepts, but never an answer, that has to be drawn from yourself. I mentioned this not specifically to OP but incase anyone else comes across maybe it could be beneficial
  23. This is the part where you must just accept the outcome and responsibility for you're actions, if needed I would consult an anger therapist because to get to the point of hitting someone to bruising point and they would need hospital is an indication you may need to learn to control you're anger. What I would recommend is trying as others have said to recompensate financially and send it off or something and mention this is only for the sake of recieving their forgiveness (not in person based on what you said). Then you must slowly learn to move on, and with the help of Allah's forgiveness you could find someone new and treat them well. As I said most of this will be just accepting you're actions and the consequences they have brought about and I hope to never be repeated again. Just to mention, I am not judging or anything but just stating the hard truth of life. We do, we learn, we grow.
  24. But would you agree that is not feasable in this day and age? especially in the west?
  25. I am asking this question after a debate with my family regarding age in marriage, everyone seemed to have a general opinion that a man is not ready until 25+ and have a stable job. My question is if someone deems themselves mature and undestands Islamic and worldy principles of success and responsibility what age do you think is most 'acceptable' or should I say recommended for a man to marry? For ladies it seems to go as low as 18 being acceptable but I never hear much about for men? Also I have been told a few times about keeping a 'up to a 10 year age gap' between the man and woman, to me this sounds absurd for these times because when im 28, fully established in life and set my feet down that means they would have just gotten started with University. I believe growing together (even 1 year gap +) is best as you tackle life's struggles together and at this age you're still pretty flexible and free. I wanted to hear others thoughts and opinions and see what is the general standard amongst us Shia's, and I partially ask this for myself as due to my younger age (almost 23) maybe I still see it too much as a romantic fantasy.
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