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In the Name of God بسم الله

Irfani313

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  1. Thanks
    Irfani313 reacted to LeftCoastMom in Post-Marriage Violence (PG13)   
    First of all, thanks for speaking out strongly against domestic violence.
    Secondly, not sure what "Catholic " doctrine you are referring to. I'm assuming it's the concept of Original Sin?
    If so, the Catholics have a complex theology surrounding the mystery of that. 
    But I think in all fairness there are other churches that deserve your concern more than Catholicism if you are offended by the doctrine.
    I offer you the Catechism:
    "Because of this certainty of faith, the Church baptizes for the remission of sins even tiny infants who have not committed personal sin.
    How did the sin of Adam become the sin of all his descendants? The whole human race is in Adam "as one body of one man".By this "unity of the human race" all men are implicated in Adam's sin, as all are implicated in Christ's justice. Still, the transmission of original sin is a mystery that we cannot fully understand. But we do know by Revelation that Adam had received original holiness and justice not for himself alone, but for all human nature. By yielding to the tempter, Adam and Eve committed a personal sin, but this sin affected the human nature that they would then transmit in a fallen state. It is a sin which will be transmitted by propagation to all mankind, that is, by the transmission of a human nature deprived of original holiness and justice. And that is why original sin is called "sin" only in an analogical sense: it is a sin "contracted" and not "committed" - a state and not an act.
    Although it is proper to each individual,original sin does not have the character of a personal fault in any of Adam's descendants. It is a deprivation of original holiness and justice, but human nature has not been totally corrupted: it is wounded in the natural powers proper to it, subject to ignorance, suffering and the dominion of death, and inclined to sin - an inclination to evil that is called concupiscence". Baptism, by imparting the life of Christ's grace, erases original sin and turns a man back towards God, but the consequences for nature, weakened and inclined to evil, persist in man and summon him to spiritual battle.
    The Church's teaching on the transmission of original sin was articulated more precisely in the fifth century, especially under the impulse of St. Augustine's reflections against Pelagianism, and in the sixteenth century, in opposition to the Protestant Reformation. Pelagius held that man could, by the natural power of free will and without the necessary help of God's grace, lead a morally good life; he thus reduced the influence of Adam's fault to bad example. The first Protestant reformers, on the contrary, taught that original sin has radically perverted man and destroyed his freedom; they identified the sin inherited by each man with the tendency to evil (concupiscentia), which would be insurmountable. The Church pronounced on the meaning of the data of Revelation on original sin especially at the second Council of Orange (529)and at the Council of Trent (1546)."
     
    okay...enough off-topic messing with threads for today.
    I am aware Islam does not hold to this. That's fine.
    I just think folks should know what the concept actually is that is being referenced...
  2. Thanks
    Irfani313 reacted to 2Timeless in Post-Marriage Violence (PG13)   
    @Irfani313 thank you so much for the thoughtfulness of this thread, hopefully everyone who comes across this thread can take away something positive that will influence the way they behave. May Allah reward you for your efforts! 
  3. Like
    Irfani313 got a reaction from karbalaii in Post-Marriage Violence (PG13)   
    After reading the sad ordeal of a couple who ended up in domestic violence situation ..
    Here are a couple of advices from a married brother of yours (me). I would rather have young men start orienting themselves now in order to mitigate such situations in future (you).
    First of all just know that, in Marriage, many things would likely make you mad, BUT that no situation, absolutely no situation, requires you to hit her. Even if God forbid someone is involved in major sins.
    Here’s why and how you won’t want to hurt her physically:
    1. Women bodies are truly very fragile. Those who are married would know, even if you inadvertently hold her wrist hard enough, say pulling her back from a spilled hot coffee, the blue marks would remain on her wrist for days.
     2. We men seldom realize how strong our blows or grips are, even when we may lovingly do those. Again scars remain for days.
    3. Women are amazingly stronger than us when it comes to their immunity or after trauma healing. But their bodies are amazingly softer when it comes to damage with a trauma that comes through any means. I recently knew of a case when a woman was shoved by her husband, lightly and in a joking fashion, she hit the door and ended up hurting her skull, and had to go in surgery. 
    4. When in rage, the best course of action, always, is to leave the place. This is what Qur’an tells us anyway when it uses the word Dharaba in that popular ayat, which means walk away. Just leave the room, or the car, or the mall, or wherever you both are butt heading. Because chances are even a light stroke of yours, even though natural because you might be mad, could damage her physically.
    5. Women’s preferred method of getting back at you are their words. And man, their words could roast you from inside and out. Keep your cool, even if your ears are on fire, you are getting heart burns, and about to throw up, just leave the place. 
    Practice these three things and inshAllah, you would be saved from any long term regrets or embarrassments. One, start practicing to walk away from the situation of potential violence. Two, teach yourself that words can’t hurt you, neither can the taunting or the sarcasm. Three, God made us husbands, the source of Sukoon (peace, protection, calm, serenity) for our women. Any action or any word that goes against us providing this Sukoon to them, brings us lower than who we are.
  4. Thanks
    Irfani313 got a reaction from 3wliya_maryam in Post-Marriage Violence (PG13)   
    After reading the sad ordeal of a couple who ended up in domestic violence situation ..
    Here are a couple of advices from a married brother of yours (me). I would rather have young men start orienting themselves now in order to mitigate such situations in future (you).
    First of all just know that, in Marriage, many things would likely make you mad, BUT that no situation, absolutely no situation, requires you to hit her. Even if God forbid someone is involved in major sins.
    Here’s why and how you won’t want to hurt her physically:
    1. Women bodies are truly very fragile. Those who are married would know, even if you inadvertently hold her wrist hard enough, say pulling her back from a spilled hot coffee, the blue marks would remain on her wrist for days.
     2. We men seldom realize how strong our blows or grips are, even when we may lovingly do those. Again scars remain for days.
    3. Women are amazingly stronger than us when it comes to their immunity or after trauma healing. But their bodies are amazingly softer when it comes to damage with a trauma that comes through any means. I recently knew of a case when a woman was shoved by her husband, lightly and in a joking fashion, she hit the door and ended up hurting her skull, and had to go in surgery. 
    4. When in rage, the best course of action, always, is to leave the place. This is what Qur’an tells us anyway when it uses the word Dharaba in that popular ayat, which means walk away. Just leave the room, or the car, or the mall, or wherever you both are butt heading. Because chances are even a light stroke of yours, even though natural because you might be mad, could damage her physically.
    5. Women’s preferred method of getting back at you are their words. And man, their words could roast you from inside and out. Keep your cool, even if your ears are on fire, you are getting heart burns, and about to throw up, just leave the place. 
    Practice these three things and inshAllah, you would be saved from any long term regrets or embarrassments. One, start practicing to walk away from the situation of potential violence. Two, teach yourself that words can’t hurt you, neither can the taunting or the sarcasm. Three, God made us husbands, the source of Sukoon (peace, protection, calm, serenity) for our women. Any action or any word that goes against us providing this Sukoon to them, brings us lower than who we are.
  5. Like
    Irfani313 got a reaction from 2Timeless in Post-Marriage Violence (PG13)   
    I think what you are talking about comes under the topic of safeguarding your honor, property, family, or self, from fatal harm. Islam being the logical religion, allows us to safeguard ourselves and take retaliatory measures if necessary. 
    Logic also dictates that those who attempt to harm others in anyway, on whatever pretext, right or wrong, should be ready to receive the same treatment from their would be victims. So a husband attempting what you wrote above, could also become the victim of her or her acquaintance(s), before he could attempt something. Are you ready for that?
    Back to the main discussion.
    In marriage specially, violence rarely fixes things. Walking away or separation is immensely more viable than beating her or him red and blue in any day and age. IF someone is addicted to major sins, they would find ways to do them even with their broken ribs and fractured arms. Violence is never worth it. 
  6. Like
    Irfani313 got a reaction from 2Timeless in Post-Marriage Violence (PG13)   
    After reading the sad ordeal of a couple who ended up in domestic violence situation ..
    Here are a couple of advices from a married brother of yours (me). I would rather have young men start orienting themselves now in order to mitigate such situations in future (you).
    First of all just know that, in Marriage, many things would likely make you mad, BUT that no situation, absolutely no situation, requires you to hit her. Even if God forbid someone is involved in major sins.
    Here’s why and how you won’t want to hurt her physically:
    1. Women bodies are truly very fragile. Those who are married would know, even if you inadvertently hold her wrist hard enough, say pulling her back from a spilled hot coffee, the blue marks would remain on her wrist for days.
     2. We men seldom realize how strong our blows or grips are, even when we may lovingly do those. Again scars remain for days.
    3. Women are amazingly stronger than us when it comes to their immunity or after trauma healing. But their bodies are amazingly softer when it comes to damage with a trauma that comes through any means. I recently knew of a case when a woman was shoved by her husband, lightly and in a joking fashion, she hit the door and ended up hurting her skull, and had to go in surgery. 
    4. When in rage, the best course of action, always, is to leave the place. This is what Qur’an tells us anyway when it uses the word Dharaba in that popular ayat, which means walk away. Just leave the room, or the car, or the mall, or wherever you both are butt heading. Because chances are even a light stroke of yours, even though natural because you might be mad, could damage her physically.
    5. Women’s preferred method of getting back at you are their words. And man, their words could roast you from inside and out. Keep your cool, even if your ears are on fire, you are getting heart burns, and about to throw up, just leave the place. 
    Practice these three things and inshAllah, you would be saved from any long term regrets or embarrassments. One, start practicing to walk away from the situation of potential violence. Two, teach yourself that words can’t hurt you, neither can the taunting or the sarcasm. Three, God made us husbands, the source of Sukoon (peace, protection, calm, serenity) for our women. Any action or any word that goes against us providing this Sukoon to them, brings us lower than who we are.
  7. Completely Agree
    Irfani313 got a reaction from habib e najjaar in Post-Marriage Violence (PG13)   
    I think what you are talking about comes under the topic of safeguarding your honor, property, family, or self, from fatal harm. Islam being the logical religion, allows us to safeguard ourselves and take retaliatory measures if necessary. 
    Logic also dictates that those who attempt to harm others in anyway, on whatever pretext, right or wrong, should be ready to receive the same treatment from their would be victims. So a husband attempting what you wrote above, could also become the victim of her or her acquaintance(s), before he could attempt something. Are you ready for that?
    Back to the main discussion.
    In marriage specially, violence rarely fixes things. Walking away or separation is immensely more viable than beating her or him red and blue in any day and age. IF someone is addicted to major sins, they would find ways to do them even with their broken ribs and fractured arms. Violence is never worth it. 
  8. My Prayers
    Irfani313 reacted to habib e najjaar in Post-Marriage Violence (PG13)   
    Ws. I find it worrying that you quote this in a domestic violence and abuse thread. The reason it is mentioned in ahkaam does not mean a man is permitted to, but owing to the extreme emotional rage and temporary insanity he may face by seeing such a sight naudhbillah, he would be able to mitigate his case for murder, or in legal terms, plea for manslaughter as opposed to murder  I.e it was not pre meditated and happened in the heat of the moment. 
    Not to mention, some women do not bruise or scar easily owing to their pigmentation or genetic disposition, but they still get hurt.
  9. Completely Agree
    Irfani313 got a reaction from Muslimthought97 in Post-Marriage Violence (PG13)   
    After reading the sad ordeal of a couple who ended up in domestic violence situation ..
    Here are a couple of advices from a married brother of yours (me). I would rather have young men start orienting themselves now in order to mitigate such situations in future (you).
    First of all just know that, in Marriage, many things would likely make you mad, BUT that no situation, absolutely no situation, requires you to hit her. Even if God forbid someone is involved in major sins.
    Here’s why and how you won’t want to hurt her physically:
    1. Women bodies are truly very fragile. Those who are married would know, even if you inadvertently hold her wrist hard enough, say pulling her back from a spilled hot coffee, the blue marks would remain on her wrist for days.
     2. We men seldom realize how strong our blows or grips are, even when we may lovingly do those. Again scars remain for days.
    3. Women are amazingly stronger than us when it comes to their immunity or after trauma healing. But their bodies are amazingly softer when it comes to damage with a trauma that comes through any means. I recently knew of a case when a woman was shoved by her husband, lightly and in a joking fashion, she hit the door and ended up hurting her skull, and had to go in surgery. 
    4. When in rage, the best course of action, always, is to leave the place. This is what Qur’an tells us anyway when it uses the word Dharaba in that popular ayat, which means walk away. Just leave the room, or the car, or the mall, or wherever you both are butt heading. Because chances are even a light stroke of yours, even though natural because you might be mad, could damage her physically.
    5. Women’s preferred method of getting back at you are their words. And man, their words could roast you from inside and out. Keep your cool, even if your ears are on fire, you are getting heart burns, and about to throw up, just leave the place. 
    Practice these three things and inshAllah, you would be saved from any long term regrets or embarrassments. One, start practicing to walk away from the situation of potential violence. Two, teach yourself that words can’t hurt you, neither can the taunting or the sarcasm. Three, God made us husbands, the source of Sukoon (peace, protection, calm, serenity) for our women. Any action or any word that goes against us providing this Sukoon to them, brings us lower than who we are.
  10. Completely Agree
    Irfani313 got a reaction from shadow_of_light in Post-Marriage Violence (PG13)   
    After reading the sad ordeal of a couple who ended up in domestic violence situation ..
    Here are a couple of advices from a married brother of yours (me). I would rather have young men start orienting themselves now in order to mitigate such situations in future (you).
    First of all just know that, in Marriage, many things would likely make you mad, BUT that no situation, absolutely no situation, requires you to hit her. Even if God forbid someone is involved in major sins.
    Here’s why and how you won’t want to hurt her physically:
    1. Women bodies are truly very fragile. Those who are married would know, even if you inadvertently hold her wrist hard enough, say pulling her back from a spilled hot coffee, the blue marks would remain on her wrist for days.
     2. We men seldom realize how strong our blows or grips are, even when we may lovingly do those. Again scars remain for days.
    3. Women are amazingly stronger than us when it comes to their immunity or after trauma healing. But their bodies are amazingly softer when it comes to damage with a trauma that comes through any means. I recently knew of a case when a woman was shoved by her husband, lightly and in a joking fashion, she hit the door and ended up hurting her skull, and had to go in surgery. 
    4. When in rage, the best course of action, always, is to leave the place. This is what Qur’an tells us anyway when it uses the word Dharaba in that popular ayat, which means walk away. Just leave the room, or the car, or the mall, or wherever you both are butt heading. Because chances are even a light stroke of yours, even though natural because you might be mad, could damage her physically.
    5. Women’s preferred method of getting back at you are their words. And man, their words could roast you from inside and out. Keep your cool, even if your ears are on fire, you are getting heart burns, and about to throw up, just leave the place. 
    Practice these three things and inshAllah, you would be saved from any long term regrets or embarrassments. One, start practicing to walk away from the situation of potential violence. Two, teach yourself that words can’t hurt you, neither can the taunting or the sarcasm. Three, God made us husbands, the source of Sukoon (peace, protection, calm, serenity) for our women. Any action or any word that goes against us providing this Sukoon to them, brings us lower than who we are.
  11. Haha
    Irfani313 got a reaction from Lion of Shia in The Institute of Muslim Mental Health   
    Here’s goes half of us here on ShiaChat...
  12. Completely Agree
    Irfani313 got a reaction from habib e najjaar in Post-Marriage Violence (PG13)   
    After reading the sad ordeal of a couple who ended up in domestic violence situation ..
    Here are a couple of advices from a married brother of yours (me). I would rather have young men start orienting themselves now in order to mitigate such situations in future (you).
    First of all just know that, in Marriage, many things would likely make you mad, BUT that no situation, absolutely no situation, requires you to hit her. Even if God forbid someone is involved in major sins.
    Here’s why and how you won’t want to hurt her physically:
    1. Women bodies are truly very fragile. Those who are married would know, even if you inadvertently hold her wrist hard enough, say pulling her back from a spilled hot coffee, the blue marks would remain on her wrist for days.
     2. We men seldom realize how strong our blows or grips are, even when we may lovingly do those. Again scars remain for days.
    3. Women are amazingly stronger than us when it comes to their immunity or after trauma healing. But their bodies are amazingly softer when it comes to damage with a trauma that comes through any means. I recently knew of a case when a woman was shoved by her husband, lightly and in a joking fashion, she hit the door and ended up hurting her skull, and had to go in surgery. 
    4. When in rage, the best course of action, always, is to leave the place. This is what Qur’an tells us anyway when it uses the word Dharaba in that popular ayat, which means walk away. Just leave the room, or the car, or the mall, or wherever you both are butt heading. Because chances are even a light stroke of yours, even though natural because you might be mad, could damage her physically.
    5. Women’s preferred method of getting back at you are their words. And man, their words could roast you from inside and out. Keep your cool, even if your ears are on fire, you are getting heart burns, and about to throw up, just leave the place. 
    Practice these three things and inshAllah, you would be saved from any long term regrets or embarrassments. One, start practicing to walk away from the situation of potential violence. Two, teach yourself that words can’t hurt you, neither can the taunting or the sarcasm. Three, God made us husbands, the source of Sukoon (peace, protection, calm, serenity) for our women. Any action or any word that goes against us providing this Sukoon to them, brings us lower than who we are.
  13. My Prayers
    Irfani313 got a reaction from Mahdavist in Post-Marriage Violence (PG13)   
    After reading the sad ordeal of a couple who ended up in domestic violence situation ..
    Here are a couple of advices from a married brother of yours (me). I would rather have young men start orienting themselves now in order to mitigate such situations in future (you).
    First of all just know that, in Marriage, many things would likely make you mad, BUT that no situation, absolutely no situation, requires you to hit her. Even if God forbid someone is involved in major sins.
    Here’s why and how you won’t want to hurt her physically:
    1. Women bodies are truly very fragile. Those who are married would know, even if you inadvertently hold her wrist hard enough, say pulling her back from a spilled hot coffee, the blue marks would remain on her wrist for days.
     2. We men seldom realize how strong our blows or grips are, even when we may lovingly do those. Again scars remain for days.
    3. Women are amazingly stronger than us when it comes to their immunity or after trauma healing. But their bodies are amazingly softer when it comes to damage with a trauma that comes through any means. I recently knew of a case when a woman was shoved by her husband, lightly and in a joking fashion, she hit the door and ended up hurting her skull, and had to go in surgery. 
    4. When in rage, the best course of action, always, is to leave the place. This is what Qur’an tells us anyway when it uses the word Dharaba in that popular ayat, which means walk away. Just leave the room, or the car, or the mall, or wherever you both are butt heading. Because chances are even a light stroke of yours, even though natural because you might be mad, could damage her physically.
    5. Women’s preferred method of getting back at you are their words. And man, their words could roast you from inside and out. Keep your cool, even if your ears are on fire, you are getting heart burns, and about to throw up, just leave the place. 
    Practice these three things and inshAllah, you would be saved from any long term regrets or embarrassments. One, start practicing to walk away from the situation of potential violence. Two, teach yourself that words can’t hurt you, neither can the taunting or the sarcasm. Three, God made us husbands, the source of Sukoon (peace, protection, calm, serenity) for our women. Any action or any word that goes against us providing this Sukoon to them, brings us lower than who we are.
  14. Like
    Irfani313 got a reaction from AStruggler in Post-Marriage Violence (PG13)   
    After reading the sad ordeal of a couple who ended up in domestic violence situation ..
    Here are a couple of advices from a married brother of yours (me). I would rather have young men start orienting themselves now in order to mitigate such situations in future (you).
    First of all just know that, in Marriage, many things would likely make you mad, BUT that no situation, absolutely no situation, requires you to hit her. Even if God forbid someone is involved in major sins.
    Here’s why and how you won’t want to hurt her physically:
    1. Women bodies are truly very fragile. Those who are married would know, even if you inadvertently hold her wrist hard enough, say pulling her back from a spilled hot coffee, the blue marks would remain on her wrist for days.
     2. We men seldom realize how strong our blows or grips are, even when we may lovingly do those. Again scars remain for days.
    3. Women are amazingly stronger than us when it comes to their immunity or after trauma healing. But their bodies are amazingly softer when it comes to damage with a trauma that comes through any means. I recently knew of a case when a woman was shoved by her husband, lightly and in a joking fashion, she hit the door and ended up hurting her skull, and had to go in surgery. 
    4. When in rage, the best course of action, always, is to leave the place. This is what Qur’an tells us anyway when it uses the word Dharaba in that popular ayat, which means walk away. Just leave the room, or the car, or the mall, or wherever you both are butt heading. Because chances are even a light stroke of yours, even though natural because you might be mad, could damage her physically.
    5. Women’s preferred method of getting back at you are their words. And man, their words could roast you from inside and out. Keep your cool, even if your ears are on fire, you are getting heart burns, and about to throw up, just leave the place. 
    Practice these three things and inshAllah, you would be saved from any long term regrets or embarrassments. One, start practicing to walk away from the situation of potential violence. Two, teach yourself that words can’t hurt you, neither can the taunting or the sarcasm. Three, God made us husbands, the source of Sukoon (peace, protection, calm, serenity) for our women. Any action or any word that goes against us providing this Sukoon to them, brings us lower than who we are.
  15. Like
    Irfani313 got a reaction from ireallywannaknow in Interview The Person Below   
    Spent the night at a place which was maybe a few meters from the grave of Iman Hussain AS. 
     
    What makes your father so special in your life? 
  16. Like
    Irfani313 reacted to starlight in Interview The Person Below   
    313-05-1214 ;)
    What makes you different from most people?
  17. Like
    Irfani313 reacted to ireallywannaknow in Interview The Person Below   
    Probably my mom too
    What things do you do subconsciously when you are nervous? 
  18. Like
    Irfani313 reacted to Gaius I. Caesar in Interview The Person Below   
    Without a doubt, my mother. Allahu allam, but that's my answer as of right now.
    Who would you miss?
  19. My Prayers
    Irfani313 reacted to starlight in Interview The Person Below   
    ^ a PhD and a fellowship and if I am lucky another Masters degree. 
    I am working under one of the top Professors in the country and in his words doing more academic work than the rest of the department combined. So, hopefully.....If Allah wills
    If you could trade lives with one person for an entire day who would it be and why?
  20. My Prayers
    Irfani313 got a reaction from Hameedeh in Whats The Best Lesson You've Learned?   
    Corruptions (moral, environmental, and social ills) have appeared in the lands and the seas, due to the actions of the humans who have earned it through their own hands. HE makes the humans taste the consequences of what they have sowed so they may reconsider (their actions). [sura Room, Ayat 41]
  21. Like
    Irfani313 got a reaction from Maryam.It in Interview The Person Below   
    Too many barriers to discuss things.
    What's your most worldly wish if you are living in the era of the last Imam?
  22. Haha
    Irfani313 got a reaction from starlight in Mutah - A Choice   
    @Darth Vader and @Hussain7
    Wow and wow. MashAllah you both have such a clear understanding of things. I couldn't have articulated it better than Darth. Hussain right on mark, Muta' is mostly an eyesore for two sort of people, one those whose desire of intimacy is low like most women and those who think like them, two those who attach their honor with women's private parts such as Omer.
    My take, I've long quit explaining muta' to non-believers (these include non-believing Shia too), I don't make a fuss about it in my family either, I just do what has been the practice of my Prophet S. But I can tell you this, my reward has been, to a lesser part the joy that a human gets after a good relationship with another human, and to an immensely greater part, the spiritual elevation that I earn by practicing a sunnah of our last Prophet S that has been abandoned in favor of pleasing feminists, women, and cultural urban-men.
    And for those who are seeking muta' but are unable to find one, remember the hadith that Dua' is the weapon of a momin. I've found doors of muta' always closed on me, and just the dua' and only dua' and a bit of effort has opened those doors for me.
    For those married men living in Muslim majority countries, you must not have any excuse for not doing Muta' aqd, if you desire so. Married men living in West are not so lucky, we are bound by the fatwa of seeking only a Muslima for muta'.   
    I know some of you were missing my candid notes on SC's Muta' threads.    
  23. Like
    Irfani313 got a reaction from y0hance in Give a Salawat! [OFFICIAL THREAD]   
    Send salawat blessings on the holy prophet and his progeny at least 100 times a day as a gift to the imam of the time (afs)
  24. Like
    Irfani313 got a reaction from Maryam.It in Give a Salawat! [OFFICIAL THREAD]   
    Send salawat blessings on the holy prophet and his progeny at least 100 times a day as a gift to the imam of the time (afs)
  25. Like
    Irfani313 got a reaction from shia farm girl in Give a Salawat! [OFFICIAL THREAD]   
    Send salawat blessings on the holy prophet and his progeny at least 100 times a day as a gift to the imam of the time (afs)
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