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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Posts posted by Irfani313

  1. 16 hours ago, AkhiraisReal said:

    Salam brother, good topic. I would like to add something.

    I am not sure whether it was Sistani or Khomeini or both, but I remember seeing a ruling that "if a man catches his wife in bed with someone else, he is allowed to kill them both". Or something along those lines. I couldn't find it for now.

    Does anyone here know where the ruling is from and what the purpose of it was.

    I think what you are talking about comes under the topic of safeguarding your honor, property, family, or self, from fatal harm. Islam being the logical religion, allows us to safeguard ourselves and take retaliatory measures if necessary. 

    Logic also dictates that those who attempt to harm others in anyway, on whatever pretext, right or wrong, should be ready to receive the same treatment from their would be victims. So a husband attempting what you wrote above, could also become the victim of her or her acquaintance(s), before he could attempt something. Are you ready for that?

    Back to the main discussion.
    In marriage specially, violence rarely fixes things. Walking away or separation is immensely more viable than beating her or him red and blue in any day and age. IF someone is addicted to major sins, they would find ways to do them even with their broken ribs and fractured arms. Violence is never worth it. 

  2. 5 hours ago, Guest Monaddoesnotsignautograph said:

    a well meant post, but now let us do some analysis.


    Where do men get the idea to hit women from?

    A )why do women feel it is neccessary to taunt or give sarcastic comments to men or their husbands?

    B )why do men feel it is neccessary to taunt or give sarcastic comments to women or their husbands?

    what is the motive on A and B?

    Where does this type of education come from and who is educating them or why do you they thinks its acceptable?

    I know the answers to all, heck even googlly will tell you it.

    Lets ask a scholar. Why am I stupid?. Well buddy, we kept you like this by telling you that you are sinner, and you will act like one your whole life. Do not worry, we will save you. How will you save me?. by telling you that you are a sinner and you need to be saved by a sinner. plethora of knowledge out there, yet we keep repeating the same thing over and over. What is actually bring taught in the godly centres?

    Get to the root of human behavior and you will erradicate all the social ills.

    This sounds more like a Catholicism than Islam.

    In Islam, nobody is inherently sinner, it’s opposite in fact. Qur’an tells us that each one of us is born on the nature of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), meaning we are already connected to the divinity. It’s what we do during the duration of our lives that makes us sinners, by our own “hard work.”

    Answering your A and B, only a slight minority really watches or thinks before they speak. The rest of us just talk, write, or yell whatever first comes to our consciousness.

    Fix: follow the instructions of Sura al Mu’minun, https://Qur'an.com/23, and Dua Makarm ul-Akhlaq. 


  3. 12 hours ago, ireallywannaknow said:

    Depends on which group of people I am around. Amongst shiachatters I think I am one of the only active black members. 

    What was one of the best things to happen to you this year? 

    Spent the night at a place which was maybe a few meters from the grave of Iman Hussain AS. 

    What makes your father so special in your life? 

  4. On 10/11/2019 at 12:19 AM, Gaius I. Caesar said:

    So you were there for the Civil War? How was it

    Does anyone know any halal cookbooks?

    Nope. I just google and follow through to the last t.

    Who would you miss the most when you would be in your late 90s (provided you still remember everybody)?


  5. On 1/27/2019 at 4:08 PM, Marbles said:

    Fruit vendors over here wash them before displaying and that is why they go off very quickly. They'd have a longer shelf life if they let the end user wash them. The only survive until the next day even if I put them in the fridge. 

    Strawberries grown in Pakistan aren't of great quality, since they aren't indigenous to the land and haven't really taken to the soil after all these years of local farming (unlike kinnows, which is a citrus fruit first farmed in the US but now the Indo-Pak region has the best quality kinnows in the world). But something is better than nothing. We only get strawberries for a couple of months in winter and then they are gone.

    I eat blueberries, raspberries, and other foreign berries only when I travel abroad, because we don't get them over here. We get cherries, mulberries, jamun, and bayr when in season. I don't know what you call bayr in English or even if there's a word for that. Another local berry from the family of raspberries is called "rass bhari" but they are a world apart from raspberries.

    Here endeth the lecture on berries :coffee:


    You forgot Pakistani ‘falsey’ which is sacrelige, unless it’s hidden in one of those English terms for it. 

    Falsey with crushed black rock salt. Heavens in spicy land. 

    @Aflower you haven’t tried US North East starwberries yet, without genetically grown, their natural form is size of an apple, and if ripened in sun for half a day, are crispy sweet better than, well there is no comparison. And I would never adulterate mine with cream or chocolate. 

  6. @Marbles the slow cooked lintels, are those cooked in the same pots they were served in? Are they clay, stone, or ceramic? I don’t want to turn this into the eat, ate, eaten thread, but I’m desperately trying to get my hands on stone pans / cauldrons for my slow cooking obsession now a days. I heard people could buy those made from some rock in Mashhad. 

    Right now my pans of choice are those heavy cast-iron for everything grilling, baking, stirfry, and curries, even omelettes. 

    Nice post, may Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) accept your Umrah. 

  7. Simple age old solutions-  

    1. Treat others the way you want yourself to be treated. 

    2. Respect is a mutual contract in any interaction between any number of people, strangers or otherwise. 

    3. Anythig said and done without the civility and class is not worth doing, even amr bil maroof & nahi anil munkar.

    4. Agree to disagree.

    5. In conflicts, see things from other person’s point of view and get to a win-win conclusion.  

    6. Don’t give in to bullies, distractors, verbal abusers, or physical assaulters. Take a stand, for yourself and for others. It will ruffle some feathers but don’t back off. Only hypocrites are loved by everybody.

  8. 5 minutes ago, Sumerian said:

    @Irfani313 so I have a question brother. If someone was to proceed in constructive criticism of personalities and causes, would you consider them worthy of ban and silencing on this website?

    It depends.

    If Joe Streetwalker comes and ask me the same questions addressing my Prophet (s) as someone casual, I would respond to him in the manners my Prophet (s) has taught me. But if a seemingly Shia (but not actual Shia) person addresses my Prophet (s) they same way, I would respond differently. I want the respect to be reciprocated. 

    The trolls I mentioned are of the second kind, yet all Shia Mods here have been extremely patient with them, along with the rest of us.

    My original post is pointing out the characters, they could show up again with different names and in varied numbers. As far as the marked ones, I stand by my Original Post.

  9. Dear All - I'm sure Mods have been seeing it more than the rest of us -

    But there are a few ShiaChat posters here, who tend to post in tandem on certain topics, while most of their posts are either covertly anti-Islamic or overtly against the causes or personalities we Shia, or any freedom loving, decent person would hold dear. It would be beyond Islamic Akhlaq to name them without a clear evidence; although if I ever have clear evidence, then it is Islamic obligation to expose them. 

    As an example, there are two recent posts which were 'induced locked' due to the dust that was raised by these trolls by their diversion techniques, such as one troll posting a hateful comment, another supporting it, then another posting another one till someone responds, and then it's the downhill where the message gets either buried down under, or the thread gets locked because our dear Mods have (rightfully so) other things in life besides cleaning these threads from these trolls' musings. 

    Recent examples would be: one thread was about Marzieh Hashemi started by our dear brother @IbnSina and another one by our dear sister @Laayla both callously hijacked by some loud mouth trolls pretending to be sincere Shia Chatters.

    I would like all of us to be vigilant, to be mindful, and to be aware of their doings. These are real humans, and are not Bots as Brother AbuHadi had pointed out a few weeks ago. But be aware of them nonetheless, these are more likely people with agendas other than the reasons for which most of us login to ShiaChat. 

    If you have hard time pointing them out, go to their profiles and within 20-30 of their recent posts, you could spot these Trolls. Now match them with this 'Troll Spotter' laundry list for sports: https://alltop.com/viral/top-12-signs-youre-dealing-with-trolls

    My humble request to Mods would be to somehow stop them from bullying many of the sincere Shia posters on this internet forum. Kindly don't let them chase the remainder of us out of ShiaChat.

    With lots of Loves and Duas (even for our marked trolls who are humans like us after all) 

  10. 1 minute ago, King said:

    I hope this was not directed at sister Fatima, if it is then it is one of the most despicable and heartless post I have ever read.

    If she is not naming names, why are you?

    My humble request, although it's a public (privately owned) forum, kindly do not derail my thread. I want something related to my Original Post. 

    Many thanks in advance for your understanding.

  11. 52 minutes ago, Sumerian said:

    The O.P is simply against people challenging the personalities and causes whom he supports, from his opening post. It doesn't matter if this is challenged in a rude way or constructive way.

    Dear brother - I'm responding to you only because I keep you in higher esteem. I habitually don't respond to noise. 

    I've a co-worker of past decade who happens to be a strictly veg. with a little statue in the corner of his office at all times. You know by this what religion he adheres to. We have been to work related lunches and dinners many times. In those past tens of years, never once I've ordered anything non-veg while he was accompanying me. Few years ago, when this Danish cartoon blasphemy thing flared up, he started this discussion poking me on the stupidity of sentimental reaction of the Muslims worldwide. I think I was building this moral rapport for that day. My simple response was, "S (his name) I've never agreed with anything about your lifestyle or your religion but I've been respectful just because another human, even though hugely misinformed in my opinion, believes in it with all his fervor. All I, we Muslims want from the world is that the same respect be reciprocated. And it's not like you (meaning S) or the world doesn't know our sensitivities, yet after every few months a name appears on the shoes, a word is thumped on the toilet papers, a phrase is printed on the doormats." 

    Here on Shia Chat (capitalized intentionally), one honorable brother posts about a Shia political activist imprisoned, and the responses you get to read are such that no one would want to read about a controversial president of an yxz country. Another honorable sister posts something else about a leader of a Shi'a political movement, and all you get to read is classical troll rambling encased in less than twenty letter sentences. And like I've said before, there is a pattern to it. The same four users, the same copy-paste responses, the same playing victim tantrums afterwards, the same cyber bullying in response, the same gang-up, the same drowning of the OP (Original Post), ending in repeated instances of Mods locking the threads. If it is not Cyber anarchist behavior, what else could it be characterized?

    It's easy to close the eyes and block the ears, but for any human of conscience, it's impossible to play dumb. The same people who would call you and I thankless, or negative thinkers, or worst - traitors, for living in a country X and pointing out gaps in it's legal or law-enforcement methods, would cry rivers if you point out their venom against Shia beliefs, Shia scholars, Shia values, Shia way of life, Shia legacy, Shia practices, and Shia laws.  



  12. 2 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

    Maybe you should focus on the person who is spamming and not because I choose to support my friend. It’s clear she knows things you don’t about him. 

    I'll keep posting these informative videos and articles related to government trolls and their tactics. I'm neither offended, nor being all those things that you said above.

    You, and another three Shia Chatters here have a pattern of threads and responses on anything political, one of which Starlight highlighted. All we have to do is click on your profile and look at your previous Likes, Dislikes, and diversion comments on ShiaChat to know that you are a likely paid troll. 

    No offense but I'm convinced of it. But I don't hate you for that, just like us, the rest of humans, you have to bring food to the table, and this is your way of getting paid. So no hard feelings. I'm just highlighting what, I think, you are.

    If you care to read this, you fit at least 11 of these 12 characteristics here.

    Top 12 Signs You’re Dealing With Trolls


    I pray you see the light one day.

  13. 2 hours ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

    That is true, lol. There are too many weirdos on here. And thanks, sister. :) 

    Dear sister - as soon as Marzieh was released, this was what she said (see the video above), no hate talk, no bitterness, just plain facts and a call to oppose the gaps in our legal system. Any decent human being would do this.

    Contrast it with yours, as soon as you were released back on this temporarily locked thread.^ 

    I pray, inshAllah over time you would get more wisdom and a deeper view of things and may strive to act better. My prayers..

  14. Like any movie about any culture, this one has lots of false biases but it’s a very interesting movie to watch. Some of the topics in there are what many of the ShiaChat marriage threads complain about (you be the judge). I loved one of the last scenes where his dad was reappointed back to his post, it was really comical. Overall the movie depicts a lot of false truths that are so prevalent in our Islamic Asian cultures. 

    The main cast Ali (who also authored a book with the same theme) apparently did marry the real life female character some time later. After this one, he made some oddball movies too, but generally remained sane and didn’t let the media world take away his common sense. I didn’t watch any of his other movies. 

  15. 2 minutes ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

    I met Marziyeh. And I have nothing good to say about her since she has turned her back into her own country and tried to indoctrinate in us with her own lies and crap about the US. Anyone who supports wholeheartedly a regime without critical thinking deserves no empathy from me. 

    America is my home. My country. And no one can change my mind. I’m a PROUD American, bread and buttered, and I won’t stand for nonsense against my country. If she hates America so much, she should get the hell out, and never come back. 

    Good Riddance. 

    It’s very hypocritical of her to spend an entire career bashing the US when she chooses to visit. 

    Calm down sister. Is your green card stuck in the process somewhere? -:) You sound like coming from some pale skin town of Oklahoma. 

    Bring the balance back, I’m sure you realize the extremism of any side is bad. 

  16. 45 minutes ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

    They can “force” anything like that. That’s absolutely BS. People like Marziyeh who go around on a US-Bashing spree can become one of those crazies on TV, the ones that go shoot and kill people in the name of hate of all things Western. 

    Again, I’m not surprised. I met Marziyeh, who visited the international school I was in back in Iran, and all she talked about was how horrible America was and how amazing Iran is. As if Iran is not an oppressive country and how the people in power lie and steal from the people, Day in, day out. 

    Many of us here who have been the beneficiary of American culture of meritocracy and fair reward for hard work often times forget to see the bad side of our culture, the overt, covert, underlying, overlying, hidden, open, supposed racial, material, and technological superiority with borderline sickness among some people of  color (any color). I’ve seen it among many, among many people of various colors, also often seeing those who have been at the receiving end of it for a couple of centuries to be extra negative, seeing everything that’s done here from the lens of this past victimhood. And I don’t blame them for this. I do oppose though the overly aggressive negativity, just Ike any other culture, American culture has its goods and bads.

    I oppose anybody who only see good here, just like anybody who only see bad here. Hope you see, you are not in one of the above two categories. 

  17. 3 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:

    I tried to stay away from Shiachat for the last five days, just to experiment and see how life is.

    I have to be honest that I did have more free time to do other stuff, but something felt missing. I just wanted to connect and be in the presence of you all, and that is worth way more than anything. Just one last statement I want to say - 'Shiachat is life'.

    @Irfani313 it's okay my brother, maybe this statement is also an "attention seeking" statement to you.

    Attention seeking is not bad at all, just have to be from the right people. In the zeal of devices, we sometimes forget those who are closer in vicinity and are wanting our attention. 

    Its all good.. 

  18. 12 minutes ago, Aflower said:

    It's OK. I can take a joke. :) So pleased that you are back. ShiaChat was not the same without your banter. As I said in my PM - I am like your elder sister. I would be honoured if you referred to me as either Behen or Baji mere chotte se, nane se, pyare se Bhai. :thankyou:


    3 hours ago, ali_fatheroforphans said:


    Actually sorry for saying 'oi'.

    You're like my own older sister, should have called you 'behan' or 'baji'.

    All good I was joking btw.

    Ok I again lost the key to my prescription cabinet- 

    I’m sure you know Islam doesn’t recognize namesake blood relations equivalents, an example from the life of the Prophet (s) when he married the ex-wife of Zaid bin Harith who was his surrogate son. So yes there is affection to show & keep, the etiquettes of hijab have to be upheld. 

  19. 21 hours ago, rkazmi33 said:

    Why are people comparing those women anyway? I am the second type of person, I spend most of time at harem and there are reasons. I am shy, introvert, dealing with 40 strangers who are constantly staring and judging your every move is exhausting. I spend most time at harem to hide from my group. I think that most zawars don't need help, unless they have small kids, they just need socializing. I just feel that ziarat trip should be different than vacation. My family thinks I spend a lot of money on ziarat trips, and I honestly only go to pray for solution of my problems, so I want to feel spiritual. I don't feel spiritual when spending time with other people. There's a lot of drama, politics and toxicity which makes me feel less spiritual. The group in which I go, there are a lot of older women and few women under 30. So it's really like having many mothers-in-law. I sometimes want to remind them: I am not your daughter-in-law. You have one in US and I have plenty of women in my life who act like my mother-in-law. 

    I will admit that in such difficult circumstances, a woman who manages to help other people is probably more pious and I am more than happy to give her that award as long as she is not mean to me and doesn't try to "fix" me. 

    I guess the question is whether spending a lot of time reading duas in harem is the best use of time? I see many Iranian and Iraqi women spending hours on reading duas, and yes I think it's better use of time than doing shopping, trying local foods,  or exchanging gifts with people of your group. This is another objection I have, there are so many poor people in those countries who can use our help, but there is so much exchange of gifts and food within the group, do they really need all those gifts? 

    I will admit that I am lazy and I get tired because on ziarat trips, we walk a lot, so I just want to sit and get some rest while reading duas. Everyone has flaws, everyone struggles with a particular sin. In our culture, laziness is unacceptable for women. 

    This is by far your best post I’ve read sister. Yes we are there to help, be caring, be compassionate but gotta have the goal in mind.  We are there thousand of miles away to be in the vicinity of our Imams, ought to prioritise it. Without not being compassionate. 

  20. 1 hour ago, Marbles said:


    Paye :eat:

    (Haters going to hate but its lovers going to love)

    In a perfect world I'd have eaten this with a couple of hot naans or at least a khameeri roti but since we do not live in a perfect world, I imagined a beef stew-soup and used a spoon to eat most of it until I had to get my hands dirty...


    (pic off the web)

    Imagine -18C outside and paya inside (literally and foguratively). This is what I had yesterday with tandoori bread.

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