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In the Name of God بسم الله
Everything posted by Irfani313
Dear brother Kiptanui: Please read my related post #9 on this link http://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235031903-marriage-before-and-after/ In a nutshell I used to think exactly like you before I got married years ago but this beautiful Quranic concept of Islam literally salvaged my marriage. Unless you have any serious medical or emotional issues which prohibit you from the company of your wife, you will realize how important it is to accept the will of Allah swt about the aqd of mutah without setting the conditions on yourself. Accepting the will of Allah swt is critical to the extent that Allah swt does not even like us humans to abandon honey as was evident from an event in the life of our dear prophet (pbuh). I pray that Allah gives you patience and make things easy for you.
Married for about 14 years with kids. Before: I thought of marriage as the most romantic of things. Had always idealized company of a wife and kids and thought everything would be breeze. I kept myself virgin for my wife and never contracted Mutah even though I sometimes needed it badly. Again I was a hopeless romantic so to say. After: Reality hit as marriage is a full time job in making it successful with serious, I really mean serious efforts. I had a via family arranged marriage so did not connect with my wife mentally for a long time but we always gave each other space and time to learn and reconcile. My wife is the most wonderful of perpsns that I could have found on my own. We both love each other so deeply that we have a serious pact to ask for each other in the hereafter again and make occasional dua for it in our wajib salat. That being said, we had our share of bitter fights, to the extent that we won't talk to each other for hours or till next morning, never more than 12 hours or so though. The core of our fights were mostly around our biological needs, her coming from a conservative mindset and me from a totally opposite cultural upbringing. The solution that in all honesty saved our marriage and makes us fall in love with each other everyday, even after kids and their responsibilities, is the beautiful institution of Mutah. Yes I contracted a few Mutah after my permanent marriage, actually started believing in the truth and need of Mutah only after I lived and stayed in permanent marriage. She never knew or in my opinion does not need to know that I have done so. End result is, me doing so has removed huge burden off of my wife's shoulder as I can concentrate on her and our kids according to the way she is happy with. Overall I would say Allah swt has blessed me immensely after marriage. We can not count the amount of blessings that we experience both outwardly and internally in our household thanks to our very blissful and successful marriage. Like I said, I would not want anybody else as my permanent wife other than her ever. You talk about movies kind of love, that's what we have between us Alhamdolillah. Needless to say, my marriage has a big part in making me a religious and thankful person that I feel I'm striving to be as I find new wisdom and purity in our Shia faith every new day.
Corruptions (moral, environmental, and social ills) have appeared in the lands and the seas, due to the actions of the humans who have earned it through their own hands. HE makes the humans taste the consequences of what they have sowed so they may reconsider (their actions). [sura Room, Ayat 41]
Assalam to all of my dear Shia brothers and sisters - This is my first post on Shia Chat after months of reading it without creating a proper login. I'm really excited to join all of you hoping to learn more and contribute less. I already have many favorites among you, actually you all are my favorite for various topics on which you write and comment on. Something about me - I'm new to Islam. Have been a born Shia but learning wise, I recently started to read deep in our beautiful faith, and tell you the truth, have fallen in love with it. I'm way south of my teens years so obviously can relate to many of you who are practicing our faith in the real world without the supervision of parents or elder siblings. Looking forward to be a student of many of you.