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In the Name of God بسم الله

Irfani313

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Everything posted by Irfani313

  1. As far as natural,to me it’s defintely natural to have kids. Its simple to explain too, it’s starts all the way from the first act of having babies, stopping which would be unnatural. Proof being leave any couple without any guidance but a firm belief in God’s grace and they would have babies, as opposed to not have. It’s also natural because we humans are created in the Fitra of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), and Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is Al-Fatir, the Spreader, Al-Khaliq (the Creator), and Al-Mussawar (the Maker), and many much more. Still thanks for sharing your pov. I personally think you need to think and reflect more on your stance, because creation and procreation is much more about just adding another member in your family.
  2. @Anonymous2144 Thanks for stating your point of view. I disagree but I’m sure you would have other reasons to hold the conviction that you have. I see more in children than children per se, I see Allah’s promise in them, upholding of His words, “I know what you don’t know” when He created our father Adam (‘a) and the angles objected that he will do bloodshed like those before him. In other words I see Hope in every new baby born. Also I see them as assisters in the establsihig of final justice that will be brought with the hands of Last Imam (‘a), the builder of the utopia, a mini heavens out of this planet Earth, after its been a living hell by the rebellious humans. Of course they are are big responsibility, that’s why having children is not wajib, but upbringing them in right Deen and Akhlaq is wajib. But what’s life which is lived for one’s own self and not for others. Bringing them up for the cause of that ultimate justice is a privilege, and having them is a sign of hope and of self esteem for me, that I feel many of us are capable of doing so. If not that much, then at least there will be someone left to say prayers on my grave. As the Holy Prophet (s) said, the good ones among the children are one of the sadqa jaria, a good deed which keeps rewarding its benefits.
  3. I’m sure all parents here would agree, how hard is it to balance things out. It’s a daily struggle for us as parents to look objective and judicious all at the same time. There is a Hadith that most of us have read which instructs to kiss one then kiss the other too (and we can extrapolate from here) so sometimes we as parents need to do things for kids which we may not want at the moment to play equalizer. Some parents don’t, but it’s worth the effort. On the other hand, I’m glad you are considerate of your sister’s feelings. Write her a letter and explain it to her.
  4. Ok I tried my best to offend you in my last post.. I admire your cool response. You are a good man. See if you get to the root of some of the things you mentioned? Have you ever analyzed why do you think the way you think? What’s the thought process? I’m genuinely curious of why you won’t want kids and (or) not interested in satisfying your natural human desires, both of which could be mutually exclusive?
  5. In this case, we don’t know who your “he” is and in what context he is asking you this. But the simple answer is this: Islam doesn’t believe in the Hollywood soulmate but Islam does believe in its own style of soulmate between spouses hence Qur'an calls husband and wife to be the ‘libas’ or the garment / adornment / covering / protection / shield / shelter of each other. Spouse A who is inferior in belief system (to be diplomatic you could replace the inferior with different) than the spouse B doesn’t come close to fulfilling the ‘libas’ ideal of a Muslim wife and husband. This is one angle. One of the other is, Islam is very pro-women in its roots. A Muslim woman enjoys infinitely more status, rights, and privileges than a woman from a pagan or materialistic society (in one she is an inferior child bearing cattle, in other she is a pure object of 15 minutes satisfaction) call it what you may. A high self esteem / high status woman of Moslems is completely incompatible with a human body with male organs attached but carrying a soul who doesn’t even recognize his Creator and all the good things about Him, and from Him.
  6. **I promise I’ll take my calm down pill after this comment (this is my third politically incorrect one in a row)** Apparently the purpose of this whole thread was to seek some attention. Come on, if you needed love and attention, you should have called home and earned some hasanat of connecting with the parents, siblings, loved ones, etc. ShiaChat is not the place I guess.. ok my pill time ~~
  7. In wish of there was a condensed version of this for 10-14 yrs age group. Learning how to learn is one of the biggest gaps in public school systems.
  8. Your life - Your choice — But I choose to ask: So your idea of life is to take, take, take, but not give??? Forget about the kids, are you willing to give that extra time & effort, you would otherwise save from not spending on kids, back to your parents who obviously toiled to grow you up to at least this age??? I’m glad you are not finding Muslim girls who want to remain, “childfree and are not compatible with you” at least one of which sound unnatural to me. Maybe you should try cruising around PETA, #MeToo-Paris, or psychiatric wards!! Again you could choose to not answer - -:))
  9. In our household there is nothing diplomatic. We tell them the hard core truth, in plain and simple way, about same-sex cr-p, about najasa of certain humans, about halal and haram foods, about who they could befriend with and who don’t, about who they could marry with and who don’t, about how much distance to keep between men and women, about hijab, about non-vegetarianism and about the ills of modern feminism, and so on. Once that is done - Then we also tell them how to handle, this time we teach them diplomacy, the situations when they encounter someone or a situation all the way down to teaching them how to articulate their message without offending anyone. Our method is to first have them ‘grow their spine’, meaning not be confirming to the society and then present it to others so they don’t sound like some religious nuts. In my honest (harsh) opinion, if you need to be diplomatic to your children you already have lost half of the battle. You need to rethink your parenting and atmosphere in your household. Your children are YOUR children and not school system’s children. They need to be your ally who need to learn and cater to your version of truth, and take their lifestyle from you as the right version of lifestyle. And take everything else that is taught out there with a big grain of salt. My apologies if my reply was not what you were expecting.
  10. It’s so true about the Asian parents. The right approach would be a balance between the two, but still leaning towards each other than the kids only, more like 55% for each other and 45% for kids. This in turn would make more accomplished kids because it would help make a happy home. Reality is, kids (including us adults) do not and cannot payback to our parents’ devotion to us. But our payback is to raise our kids on right Deen and Akhlaq who in turn raise theirs in same or even better way and so on, hence the cycle of life goes on. Parents who give up all of their lives to their kids without prioritizing each other tend to become very bitter in their older days once kids move out and seemingly give them less attention, because again kids can’t possibly payback what their parents have done for them.
  11. Here’s how you start the conversation. You take him out in the car, watch him as he sees someone he is not supposed to, then start analyzing the ‘look’, it’s effects, the desires behind it, the legitmacy (yeah, you read it right) of these desires and that there is nothing wrong with the desires, then the importance of controlling one’s nufs, desires, and eyes... and then continue to conversation on people with high character control it and preserve it for their spouse, and people of weak core give in to temptation, then on why it is important to control as opposed to give in, then onto masturbation and it’s bad effects, then on why is it made haram.... and then definitely give him hope to focus on studies, career, and his moral strength backed by strong religious conviction. Which will eventually get him a Momina wife and many more rewards in this dunya.. and eventually into hereafter. But keep the whole conversation as a two men talking and not a lecture.. let him bring it out and paraphrase your thoughts into his own words so he could convince himself of the goods and bads.. be his friend and mentor and not someone who ridicules..
  12. Thanks for asking. It’s less about Devil and nails, because for women it’s ok (sometimes mustahib) to keep a bit longer nails. What it’s really about is Devil and Lack of Hygiene. And there are numerous Hadiths and verses of Qur’an related to this (because I have never figured out how the people with longer than usual nales use the restroom or eat their food as they touch it). Hence lots of Islamic recommdations on being clean at all times (preferably in state of wudhu), keeping your homes and streets clean, keeping your clothes and body clean, keeping your thoughts clean, taking out the trash before sleeping, do the dishes before sleeping, clean your teeth (floss and brush; yes both Islamic commands), wash your face, comb / brush your hair, being in vogue with modesty, not wearing ripped up clothes, use perfumes, for men don’t have mustache dangling on lips lest food and liquids touche it while eating, cleaning the pubic hair, having a decent haircut, among others. None of the above are out of verbosity, these all are real and clear instructions of the Holy Prophet.
  13. Irfani313

    After....

    Totally agree. Thanks for saying it. For everything important, like God, Prophet & Imams (عليه السلام), for parents, family, and friends, it’s like there is no tomorrow. For everything else related to this dunya, better wait the day after than even the tomorrow.
  14. https://www.gofundme.com/rsnb3k-freemarziehhashemi
  15. Marzieh Hashmi’s family needs to raise $30,000 for her initial legal fee. Donate if you could. https://www.gofundme.com/rsnb3k-freemarziehhashemi
  16. Irfani313

    After....

    Whatever it is, don’t wait brother. Go for it, lest- خواب دیکھنے والی آنکھیں پتھر ہوں گی تب سوچیں گے سندر کومل دھیان تتلیاں بے پر ہوں گی تب سوچیں گے رس برسانے والے بادل اور طرف کیوں اڑ جاتے ہیں ہری بھری شاداب کھیتیاں بنجر ہوں گی تب سوچیں گے بستی کی دیوار پہ کس نے ان ہونی باتیں لکھ دی ہیں اس ان جانے ڈر کی باتیں گھر گھر ہوں گی تب سوچیں گے مانگے کے پھولوں سے کب تک روپ سروپ کا مان بڑھے گا اپنے آنگن کی مہکاریں بے گھر ہوں گی تب سوچیں گے بیتی رت کی سب پہچانیں بھول گئے تو پھر کیا ہوگا گئے دنوں کی یادیں جب بے منظر ہوں گی تب سوچیں گے آنے والے کل کا سواگت کیسے ہوگا کون کرے گا جلتے ہوئے سورج کی کرنیں سر پر ہوں گی تب سوچیں گے
  17. Irfani313

    After....

    Hardly the day started and ... it is already six o'clock in the evening. Barely arrived on Monday and it's already Friday. ... and the month is already over. ... and the year is almost up. ... and already 40, 50 or 60 years of our lives have passed. ... and we realize that we lost our parents, friends. and we realize that it is too late to go back ... So ... Let's try, however, to take full advantage of the time we have left ... Let's not stop looking for activities that we like ... Let's put color in our greyness ... Let's smile at the little things in life that put balm in our hearts. And yet, we must continue to enjoy serenely the time that remains. Let's try to eliminate the "after" ... I do it after ... I will say after ... I will think about it after ... We leave everything for 'later' as if "after" was ours. Because what we do not understand is that: after, the coffee cools ... after, priorities change ... after, the charm is broken ... after, health passes ... after, the children grow up ... after, the parents get older ... after, the promises are forgotten ... after, the day becomes the night ... after, life ends ... And after that it's often too late .... So ... leave nothing for 'later' ... Because always waiting for later, we can lose the best moments, the best experiences, the best friends, the best family ... We are no longer at the age where we can afford to postpone until tomorrow what needs to be done right away. Always remember, The day is today ... The moment is now ... [somebody forwarded it at work]
  18. I did a quick search on the term “Shia” on google trends and parsed it by the cities. Although all stats are somewhat skewed, but this is a good indicator of the word Shia searches in the United States in few months period in 2018. You could redo the search on other popular terms like ‘majlis’, ‘hussain’, and ‘Muharram’ to see where most Shia related searches are originating from. These could make you high priority cities. https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?q=Shia&geo=US
  19. It’s opposite in India. Where the big Mehr is frowned upon (they call it to limit to Mehr of Fatima (‘a), even Sunnis do) and pressure the girl’s family to pay up the price of the groom. Doctors get paid the highest, followed by ITs and down. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dowry_death
  20. Irfani313

    W.I.M. wimmin

    Yours were unlike these, you posted them over a longer period of time with back and forth conversations. Most of these WIM types are one off eloquent “teen aurtein, teen kahanian” (a seemingly similar articles written by three random women in an old days Women’s Urdu journal) which I used to steal away from my grandma.
  21. Irfani313

    W.I.M. wimmin

    Either the OP’s assertion is correct OR - One of the explanations could be that posts like these are initiated by good natured ShiaChat Mods & Admins who loose their sleep at night seeing no sizeable traffic coming to ShiaChat. :p Damsel in distress posts that Hajji2003 mentioned help bring 95% of interested ShiaChat members back to life.
  22. Forwarded by somebody this AM: *** I’m sharing this little piece of advice with all my married, soon to be married and wanting to get married Muslim friends and family. In these days when there are so many assaults on our families, here are beautiful words to strengthen them and live by. Allah’s blessings to you all! All men want to marry to marry a woman that walks the path of Sayyidah Khadijah, but as a man you need to fulfil your rights in order to see that the marriage is successful. You need to spend quality time at home. You need to: be her best friend, love her, cherish her, honour her, magnify her, remember her, think about her, miss her, yearn for her, respect her, praise her, pray with her, joke with her, raise her and overlook mistakes. You need to show her she is the most important person in the world; more than all the chilling with mates and the late night missions. You must bow, prostrate and worship with her, and you must supplicate together. All women want to marry a man that walks the path of Sayyiduna Muhammad ﷺ, but as a woman you must exert efforts in order for your marriage to blossom. You need to: increase his confidence, lift his burdens, keep his secrets, trust him, console in him and show him you care. You need to smile, joke and laugh. Be his source of peace, happiness and tranquillity. Emotionally strengthen him and spiritually assist him. You need to show him that you love him and that nothing is more important to you in this world than him; more than wealth and the material of this universe. You need to help him reach his potential in being a servant of Allah.This is what the Messenger of Allah taught us about marriage. ﷺ
  23. Brother no need to do the personal attacks. I assume you and @BowTie are confusing the reforms-need between the ‘Shi’a People’ and the ‘Shi’a faith’. 1. Theologically Yasser Awde doesn’t present anything new. He is just parroting (in a very disorganized way which tells of his intellectual superficiality) the similar objections that popped up a decade ago to weaken Najaf and Qom. 2. We all fully agree, every community, nation, and group (Shias are not an exception), need reform in the way we follow our religion. But anybody who tries to become modern Abdul Wahab for Shi’a Faith is suspicious, and must be paid by the outsiders. As far as disagreements between the scholars in the Howzas, it’s a huge norm there but no sincere right-minded ‘alim brings it to street for pointscoring and getting brownie points from people who can’t even recount the names of their Imams in the right sequence.
  24. Nothing new here. I can see him pretty soon (in a few years till he gathers a few more willful liberals) either attacking Sistani or Khamenei. It’s the same old wine (of Yasser Habib, Tawhidi and other ‘paid members’) presented in the new bottle. https://sites.google.com/view/islamicresearch/aqaid/opinion-of-shaykh-yasser-awde I guess my question should have been, “who is paying him?” Because after all one of his gripe is against Khums.
  25. If this is so, shouldn’t it be easier to list at least three? I’m from Mars brother for all that matters, what I care to know is what’s so wrong with the majority of the Shias of Lebanon?
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