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In the Name of God بسم الله

Inner Peace

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  1. Like
    Inner Peace reacted to Sirius_Bright in Make someone's day!   
    Br. @Qa'im
    His cutting edge post and excellent explanations with ahadeeth and Riwayaat makes us learn a lot. Masha Allah! Very Knowledgeable guy.
  2. Like
    Inner Peace reacted to DigitalUmmah in Dua for the person below game   
    Salam, Ya Ali (as) Madad, Lanat upon the enemies of the Ahlulbayt (as)
    ok so this game is quite simple
    - you have to do a dua for the person below, but you aren't allowed to repeat any dua that has already happened in the thread.
    - if you do repeat a dua, then you have to tag in everyone above you in the thread and do a dua for all of them together
    ok I will go first
    I do a dua that the person below me has a great day!
  3. Like
    Inner Peace got a reaction from Haimi in Need a friend   
    Messaged her! Thank you @DigitalUmmah  
  4. Like
    Inner Peace got a reaction from Soldiers and Saffron in Need a friend   
    Messaged her! Thank you @DigitalUmmah  
  5. Like
    Inner Peace got a reaction from DigitalUmmah in Need a friend   
    Messaged her! Thank you @DigitalUmmah  
  6. Like
    Inner Peace reacted to DigitalUmmah in Need a friend   
    Salam OP, might be worth PMing one of the sisters you get along with. sisters @notme @hameedeh @starlight @Heavenly_Silk @zainabamy @FreeSpirit @Inner Peace will probably lend a sympathetic ear. 
    be wary of any male reaching out to you, they will only try and do mutah with you under the pretence of "being there" for you. many guys believe that if they are nice to a girl, she owes them something.  
  7. Like
    Inner Peace reacted to repenter-gone4awhile in Committed Zina; 20 year old male.   
    https://www.al-islam.org/spiritual-discourses-murtadha-mutahhari/discourse-8-repentance-1
  8. Like
    Inner Peace got a reaction from Struggling_onn in Forgiving Yourself   
    When people make mistakes many times emphasis is put on how to ask forgiveness from others or ask forgiveness from God. However, usually forgiving yourself is often just as crucial to helping you move on. So when you disappoint yourself, how do you forgive yourself and move past your mistakes whether they're sins or just life mistakes? How do you live with life regrets? How do you not dwell on the past? I'm interested to hear anyone's personal, Islamic based or scientific/psychological advice/opinion on self-forgiveness. I think self-forgiveness and self-acceptance is essential to personal development but usually we sweep it under the rug and give it minimum focus. 
  9. Like
    Inner Peace got a reaction from Hayy ibn Yaqzan in Forgiving Yourself   
    When people make mistakes many times emphasis is put on how to ask forgiveness from others or ask forgiveness from God. However, usually forgiving yourself is often just as crucial to helping you move on. So when you disappoint yourself, how do you forgive yourself and move past your mistakes whether they're sins or just life mistakes? How do you live with life regrets? How do you not dwell on the past? I'm interested to hear anyone's personal, Islamic based or scientific/psychological advice/opinion on self-forgiveness. I think self-forgiveness and self-acceptance is essential to personal development but usually we sweep it under the rug and give it minimum focus. 
  10. Like
    Inner Peace reacted to ShiaMan14 in Women Expectation During Nikah   
    So I heard something on chat yesterday that blew me away.
    The conversation started with the topic about whether the wife should be told if a man does mutah and there were 2 groups. Both groups agreed that from a religious perspective, she does not have to be told but from a relationship perspective, should she be told about it. Anyway, that is not the issue.
    I may have interpreted it incorrectly but I think what I heard the other group say was that whenever a Muslim girl marries a Muslim man, she is subconsciously or consciously agreeing/accepting that he will marry other women (perm or temp).
    Is this true?
    @Inner Peace, @repenter
  11. Like
    Inner Peace reacted to Soldiers and Saffron in Marrying a reverted Muslim   
    Wa aleykum assalam, it is very important to return salams, even digital ones.
    Do not hurry with this, words are cheap.
    If he says he wants to become muslim and then continues talking about marriage, tell him: Okay that is fine, but I will not marry you until I have seen in action that you are sincere. And then play the waiting game to see if he follows up with action, will he make efforts to learn how to pray, will he stop eating/drinking non halal, will he go to the masjid, will he ask religious questions, can you see that he is putting in efforts to learn and you are not spoon feeding him?
    And what do you mean when you say he has been interested in you as an atheist but you have declined his offerings? What did he offer exactly? Because it is very important that a man respects you and the boundaries. I would think that someone who is interested in converting to islam would know enough about islam to understand that muslim women do not marry non muslim men.
    Also, this is not a game you know, marriage is very serious. This man will eventually iA be the father of your children, do you think he is suitable for that? Will he lead the family in the right path, will he raise the kids in a good way, will he treat you good and iA lead the family to jannah? A bad man can and will affect his wife for the worse, a man with bad iman will also affect his family for the worse, it starts with undermining the importance of wajibats, such as salaah, khoms, haj, halal food, etc and will eventually lead to questioning Allah(SWT) because life is easier without rules.
    Anyways, be very careful and do not let your emotions get the best of you but use your reasoning and see if this person is someone that will help you become a better muslim or not, for truly that is the purpose of marriage and in my opinion it is absolutely crucial that you marry a shia, both for the brothers and the sisters but especially for the sisters!
    Fi amanillah!
  12. Like
    Inner Peace reacted to Khadim uz Zahra in question about mutah   
    ^Technically, yes. You do not require her permission and do not need to inform her of it but this is kind of a nonsensical scenario. It's almost impossible to hide such a thing from your wife. Secondly, just because it is technically possible, it doesn't mean it's right or even practical. You can also technically live your whole life without uttering a single word to your wife as long as you feed and clothe her, provide shelter and fulfill her desires. ISlam doesn't make it obligatory for you to talk to your wife but some things are common sense and don't need to be said.
  13. Like
    Inner Peace reacted to ShiaMan14 in question about mutah   
    or you could follow in the footsteps of the Prophet and Imam Ali who never married another while being married to Hz Khadijah and Hz Fatima respectively.
  14. Like
    Inner Peace got a reaction from Purged in Forgiving Yourself   
    When people make mistakes many times emphasis is put on how to ask forgiveness from others or ask forgiveness from God. However, usually forgiving yourself is often just as crucial to helping you move on. So when you disappoint yourself, how do you forgive yourself and move past your mistakes whether they're sins or just life mistakes? How do you live with life regrets? How do you not dwell on the past? I'm interested to hear anyone's personal, Islamic based or scientific/psychological advice/opinion on self-forgiveness. I think self-forgiveness and self-acceptance is essential to personal development but usually we sweep it under the rug and give it minimum focus. 
  15. Like
    Inner Peace got a reaction from Struggling_onn in I don't find my husband attractive   
    Lol no. I was just saying there's a saying like that.
  16. Like
    Inner Peace got a reaction from yusur317 in I don't find my husband attractive   
    Lol no. I was just saying there's a saying like that.
  17. Like
    Inner Peace got a reaction from hasanhh in I don't find my husband attractive   
    There's a saying, "Men like what they see, women like what they hear. That's why men lie and women wear makeup."
  18. Like
    Inner Peace got a reaction from Ali6 in I don't find my husband attractive   
    There's a saying, "Men like what they see, women like what they hear. That's why men lie and women wear makeup."
  19. Like
    Inner Peace got a reaction from rkazmi33 in Why are good hearted people so rare?   
    Unfortunately, we live in a world where if you're too kind and nice you get taken advantage of easily. Hence, people over time build up walls. Kindness is often seen as a weakness. I don't know why we've created such a world for ourselves.  
  20. Like
    Inner Peace got a reaction from notme in I don't find my husband attractive   
    Lol no. I was just saying there's a saying like that.
  21. Like
    Inner Peace got a reaction from saeid tavakoli in Getting Up For Fajr   
    There are alarm apps for you phone that are harder to snooze. For example, they require shaking the phone vigorously or solving math problems to turn the alarm off. Usually by the time you turn the alarm off you are fully awake. 

    If you have the option get a friend to constantly call you until you pick up and answer to make sure you get up.
  22. Like
    Inner Peace reacted to Deewan in Marital Rape; A Husband's Right   
    Ws. I apologise, I know I was rude but it was out of deep frustration with the status quo, i.e. the lack of imagination and innovation occurring within the Islamic sciences, particularly in fiqh. Your openness to criticism is a breath of fresh air and very much appreciated. In fact, that's exactly what I'm trying to get at.
    As someone who has experienced, witnessed, and counseled victims of abuse, and now as a medical student, I have a responsibility to the patients and communities I will be serving. Moreover, I am particularly interested in social, psychological, and economic determinants of health, and this issue is quite important in that respect as well. First and foremost, we should be aware that the recognition of spousal rape is a fairly new concept. Even Western societies, often deemed to be progressive when it comes to matters of gender equity, did not recognize spousal rape as a criminal offense until several decades ago. So my criticism of the article isn't simply for the sake of criticizing Islam, but out of a genuine desire to see Muslim communities reflect the progressive, revolutionary and inclusive essence of Islam and part of my duties as a health professional to advocate for policies that result in better outcomes of health and overall well-being.
    It is my perception, perhaps illusory, that Islam prospered as a religion not simply because of fiqh, but because it challenged barbaric social, legal, and economic structures of the time. It gave voice to the voiceless--women, slaves, orphans, minorities, the poor etc. Increasingly, and especially in the last two centuries of Islam's encounter with the West, a general attitude has emerged of accepting the West's technological and scientific developments but rejecting all social, moral, economic, and political progress and innovation. It's a sad, I would even go so far as to say pathetic, condition that most of the Muslim world is afflicted with--imitate the West in its materialistic pursuits but reject any sensible intellectual progress as foreign and therefore diametrically opposed to Islam simply because someone in the West thought of it first. The list is endless... constitutionalism, democracy, women's rights etc. This is despite the fact that Islam gave dignity to women, slaves, racial and religious minorities etc. Europe learned of soap, medicine, Socrates, mathematics etc from Muslims and now it's Europeans and Westerners trying to convince Muslims why it's important to vaccinate children against polio and other fatal diseases.
    All this to say, that it's long past the time to inject some freshness into our religious institutions, to think critically and holistically on issues with multiple points of views, and multiple level of analyses. Fiqh has within it the flexibility to grow, prosper and enlighten our thinking on problems old and new, but it has been a victim of its practitioners who refuse to think outside the box until it's too late. Didn't most scholars of the 19th and early 20th century object to notions of rule of law, constitutionalism, democracy, women's franchise etc? Now those opposed to such ideals are considered the fringe, but loud, voices like the Taliban, AQ, and Boko Haram.
    So yes, I'm glad that you're thinking about this issue in particular with sincerity. But I think you need to go further, much further, than you have so far. Sexual intercourse between a man and woman epitomizes the peak of love and trust between two individuals. Anything short of that is not much better than one partner using the other for sexual pleasure, akin to masturbating with the partner's body, like I said in my previous post. I learned this from Islam, not from the West (which, btw, is influenced heavily by its own Christian past, and we all know the abhorrence Christianity has had historically towards sex!). So if the wife has no convincing reason legally--or even no reason at all--to reject the husband, voices like yours, speaking in the name of Islam, should still categorically reject any avenue that leads to abuse. Let's face it, if a marriage has reached such a low point, there's far more that needs to be fixed than the man's sexual satisfaction.
    You've qualified the article by saying that it discusses the issue of spousal rape within a specific legal sense. But these arbitrary boundaries shouldn't exist. In fact, someone who's been through abuse won't read this article and think that this is the legal stuff, now let me look at what else there is. This will simply be seen as "what Islam says about spousal rape". Instead, what you write and say should inspire confidence in the minds of those who have undergone abuse or may be subjected to it in the future, to have the confidence to speak up, to feel that their community and their religious compatriots care for them and will understand what they've been through. It should also clearly call out abusers and potential abusers, for what they really are and give them no excuse or space to commit their heinous acts under the umbrella of Islam. Anything short of that would be abdication of duty and that's already quite prevalent in our communities. I don't need to point out how corrosive that is to the well-being of individuals, families, and the overall community.
  23. Like
    Inner Peace reacted to Deewan in Marital Rape; A Husband's Right   
    The very title of the article "Marital Rape; Husband's Right?" is nauseating, but I forced myself to read on anyways. It exemplifies all that is wrong with Muslim communities today: How about looking at spousal rape for what it is--the worst possible breach of trust that a wife would have for her husband--instead of some sort of an abstract theoretical question on 'husband's rights' and 'domestic violence'.
    I'm afraid you're out of touch with reality, as is evident from your elementary understanding of assault and of domestic violence. You can't just reduce Islam to a single aspect of itself, it's legal code, which in itself is starting to reeks of dead flesh because of the rigidities placed on it by unimaginative exponents. The very premise of sexual activity is mutual love and admiration of the partners for each other. One doesn't need to look very deep into the Quran or the Prophetic Tradition to see how much emphasis God and His Prophet have placed on loving relationships and specific instructions that promote intimate relationship. Way to go in throwing water all over that. Essentially, what you're advocating as legal can best be described as the husband masturbating with his wife's body, and at worst it's an irreversible physical and psychological violation of the wife that shakes the core of her being.
    From a medical point of view, I couldn't agree with Maryaam any more. Very few assaults or other types of unwanted sexual contact leave any lasting physical damage. So rest assured, I'll rarely see 'marital rape equated with domestic violence' that you are referring to. In fact, many women do not even report rapes, especially spousal rapes, for very long periods. By the time they do seek help, if at all, they've already suffered psychologically. The reason for that are the perverse social structures erected by people like you who fail to see blatant disregard for another human being's well-being that your words and ideologies carry.
    I'm glad you took the time to reconsider the question you were asked and were able to come up with a slightly more nuanced answer the second time around. You've even consulted some books on the topic of marriage. How about seeking the counsel of doctors, psychologists, community & social workers, and perhaps even women who've been raped. You live in Sydney, you wouldn't have to go very far or look very hard to find this resources.
  24. Like
    Inner Peace reacted to Gotham in Sc Public Service Announcement   
    (salam)
    Now that it is the month of Ramadhan, brothers are constantly badgering sisters with questions about:
    - why they aren't praying
    - why they are eating
    - If they're even fasting
    About four days ago, a brother very cheekily asked me in the chat room if I was fasting or eating on the sly (You know who you are, ya bloody Paki :dry:).
    It's one thing to ask, "Are you gonna pray Fajr?" if you typically wake up your family members for prayers or something, but we've got some Sharia law enforcement agents running around, trying to interrogate us or catch us eating. These guys act so triumphant when they find out that a sister isn't fasting.

    Also, it has come to my attention that some guys apparently don't even know that there are days women can't pray/fast. A few sisters have told me how they have to pretend to pray because their brothers don't know about menstrual cycles and start asking awkward questions. One sister has brothers who are in their 30s, and they haven't been taught about women's periods. They're all at home during the day so their sister can't even sneak some food or else they'll start questioning her, too.
    For the brothers who are reading this thread: Women get their periods, and generally do not pray/fast until the cycle is over.
    Here are some rulings:
    http://www.sistani.org/english/book/46/2035/
    http://www.sistani.org/english/qa/01290/
    http://www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2170/
    Hopefully the brothers here can mind their business now, and leave the women in their family and on this website alone :dry:
    This has been a Public Sevice Announcement for ShiaChat.
  25. Like
    Inner Peace reacted to Bakir in Summer job for teen with autism   
    Salam notme!
    It depends on the grade of autism as well. A library job could be a good idea, know of a case that went well in that position. It is quiet, you pass enough time alone (thus you can take a break after any social interaction) and at the same time it does give experience, but that depends on the field he wants to get into. If it is Information Architecture (a field that personally I love a lot hahah), it may be a good place to start :P.
    In the other hand I would also add that improvements happen a lot. We have a student here who recently entered in the university and she has improved a lot in just one year, to the point that she's been able to talk in public in front of over 80 people. It's truly great. Don't have doubts, people improve, and if they don't, it's still worth it to believe in them and support them in any failure they may face, be it laboral or social or whatever, as that will make them stronger.
    Wish you the best, as always, to you and to your family. Hope you have a great month of Ramadhan!
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