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shia farm girl

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About shia farm girl

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  • Birthday 02/15/1976

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  1. shia farm girl

    Third testimony (Shahadat-e-Salisa)

    As salaamun aleikum, I might get some flack for this, but the way i understand this is not in a literall way, but that by our first acknowledging Imam Ali(AS),his wilayat as well as that of the other Imams(AS), by following their teachings and behaviors which have come down to us from the Prophet (SAWS) and by and through ingraining these teachings into our selves and our souls, THIS is "how" he is the "divider of souls". If we follow him, his guidance and our implmentation of that guidance through our actions is how he divides us between heaven and hell. Islam is a religion of knowledge and ACTION based on that knowledge. The Prophet (SAWS) Said: "I am a city of knowledge and Ali(AS) is the gate". Without action, what do we have? When we die, all we have is our actions. The way i understand the sirat, isnt that it is something that occurs after we die, it is something we are crossing/traveling every minute while we are alive. Our moment to moment intentions, thoughts, and deeds all determine whether we are on the sirat or not. We are "building" our hereafter in a very real way. Many scholars and speakers refer to people already being in heaven or hell based on their spiritual condition and practice, its just that we dont know it and arent aware of it because the ghayb is veiled to us. Have you heard of the hadith where one of the Imams(AS) was at hajj, and a man remarked to him to look at all the hajjis, mashaAllah, then the imam(AS) parted his fingers to show the man the REAL spirituall condition of the hajjis and what the man saw when he looked was that most of them appeared like dogs and monkeys:( This narration allows us to see our spiritual condition is something that exists NOW already, and THIS is where and when we are being tested. Putting religion on credit that someday all this stuff will happen really doesnt do us any tangible "good" now. We have to live our lives and traverse the sirat NOW, otherwise it will be too late...what will we have wrought for ourselves? This is how Imam Ali(AS) "permits" us to pass the sirat, through our observance of his wilayat his teachings. Of course, i could be wrong on this. Its just another perspective. W/s
  2. shia farm girl

    I feel so tired every morning

    As salaamun aleikum, @Carlzone Great suggestion about the beet root! A couple years ago, i was experienceing this whole"out of breath" thing every time i would work out and especially when i would go hiking. I would feel super tired and yawn alot, for no reason that i could come up with. I did some studying and looking into it, and based on my experience, i was short of oxygen in my blood for some reason, so i began to juice and add raw organic beets to my kale juices before i would head out the door and IT WORKED! No more yawning and feeling tired when i go for hikes and work out. I dont remember the science behind it, but im sure its available by a simple google search as thats how i learned about it. I know there are beet capsules available at health and vitamin shops, but i think the fresh raw sources are the best for our dietary needs, but whatever works best for people. Hope this helps the op as much as its helped us. W/s
  3. shia farm girl


    @Asghar Ali Karbalai salaam brother, im about to sign off for the night, but before i go, i wanted to leave this lecture here. If you start at 21:25, he speaks about what you have requested, but much more eloquently than i could ever put it. In sha Allah it is of some benefit. The title of it is: "Spiritual Impurity and Concealed Shirk". W/s
  4. shia farm girl

    Have you ever dealt with physical abuse?

    As salaamun aleikum brother @Ralvi, No, not yet, but in sha Allah i hope to go for ziyaratt maybe this comimg summer. My husband is iranian and his 80 year old mom lives there and he needs to go visit her when school gets out. (Hes a teacher at the masjid school here) We plan to get to visit Imam Reza(AS) in sha Allah. I pray for your healing as well. Its amazing how common this seems to be for all us, converts and born muslims alike. W/s
  5. shia farm girl


    As-salaam alaikum, the brother above has posted a very good response. I only want to add that hidden shirk is very...hidden, lol, and comes in ways that we would never recognize it as being shirk. One of those ways is when we think we know better for us than Allahسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى and go against His directions and guidelines for our lives. In other words, we make our own ideas of whatvwe think and do on par with or even above His, which is a form of hidden shirk. I know there are more examples of hidden shirk, if i remember them, i will come back to this thread to contribute more, in sha Allah. W/s
  6. shia farm girl

    Have you ever dealt with physical abuse?

    @Carlzone salaam sister, You make very good suggestions and points alhamdulilah, especially the part about accepting it and going from there as opposed to fighting it. My issue with confrontation comes from the fear of how the other person will respond. Growing up, i was usually responded to with anger, screaming, irrationality, etc. and the experiences were so strong, that i was basically programmed into subconsciously expecting that all my confrontational experiences will have the same outcome, and unfortunately, its turned out to be the case moreso than not, so my early experiences and expectations have been confirmed and compounded further:( Its unfortunate, but ego plays such a major role in many peoples lives that even when i may be right or justified in what i am addressing with other people, their egos prevent them from responding in a logical and rational manner so they instead respond with defense, anger and irrational behavior:/ I avoid confrontation to spare myself the stress, anxiety and subsequent anger of dealing with what they throw back at me. I am not an argumentative or oppositional person so its pretty much against my nature to subject myself to others' barrage of negativity and aggression, especially if i can avoid it, because it evokes such a strong internal reaction within me. It really is unbearable the fear and anxiety i experience. My MBTI is INFJ, and it is me to a T. (If you ever come across the hadith you refered to regarding parents and how they treat their children, please share it with us, it may help some of us!) @rkazmi33 Thank you for your response:) Much like sister carlzone has said, this woman has more work to do. Makes me wonder why she seems to be popular. Mistreatment of others is something that goes against our fitrah. The main thing that has made me successfull in controlling it in regards to other people is because of Islam and Allahسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى. I am REALLY hard on myself, probably more than i should be, and i dont handle heavy guilt, so since i know how hard i will be on myself combined with how detrimental it is to others and the affect it has spiritually if i abuse others, even if it is only verbally and by showing anger, it prevents me from crossing that boundary. I am terrified of my bad deeds ruining and cancelling out the good. Im also terrified of tajessamul amaal, which is the embodiment of our actions into our souls-i already know this anger has become part of me, so i dont need to accumulate any more problems-i got my work cut out for me in trying to eradicate this from my soul before it manifests in the hereafter in barzakh:/ The anger i have really hurts no one but me, which isnt good, but if it comes down to oppressing myself or others, its better it is me than them. I can work on myself from there. W//s
  7. shia farm girl

    Punishment in donya?

    As salaamun alaikum, What i believe is this world operates according to an algorithm and cause and effect. For example, mustahab acts in and of themselves are good, but they also attract and bring more blessings and positive results in the world to us and in our Direction. The same can be said when we commit sins or do other bad actions, it brings negative things into our lives and attracts negativity to us. Our actions in this world don't just affect this physical dunya, they have an effect in the ghayb realm as well, the algorithm im speaking of is how things work and manifest here. The ghayb/unseen is what this world is all about, more so than the physical world itself, suprisingly, but we just get so drown in the physical manifestations around us, that we forget and become heedless to the fact that there is another unseen realm. We can not see the ghayb and we dont fully understand the algorithm, but Allah has pointed to this in many places of the Quran. Allah has made believing in the Unseen the first thing He mentions in Surah Al Baqarah : Verse (2 : 2) ذَٰلِكَ ٱلْكِتَٰبُ لَا رَيْبَ فِيهِ هُدًى لِّلْمُتَّقِينَ This is the Book, there is no doubt in it, a guidance to the Godwary, Surah Al Baqarah : Verse (2 : 3) ٱلَّذِينَ يُؤْمِنُونَ بِٱلْغَيْبِ وَيُقِيمُونَ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَمِمَّا رَزَقْنَٰهُمْ يُنفِقُونَ who believe in the Unseen, maintain the prayer, and spend out of what We have provided for them; This is how prayer, dua, and other good actions work, but the same is true for bad actions, its just that in my life, it doesnt always translate to immediate results, although quite often it does. Allah says in the Quran: Surah Al-Lail, Verse 5: فَأَمَّا مَنْ أَعْطَىٰ وَاتَّقَىٰ Then as for him who gives away and guards (against evil), Surah Al-Lail, Verse 6: وَصَدَّقَ بِالْحُسْنَىٰ And accepts the best, Surah Al-Lail, Verse 7: فَسَنُيَسِّرُهُ لِلْيُسْرَىٰ We will ease him towards ease Surah Al-Lail, Verse 8: وَأَمَّا مَن بَخِلَ وَاسْتَغْنَىٰ And as for him who is niggardly and considers himself free from need (of Allah), Surah Al-Lail, Verse 9: وَكَذَّبَ بِالْحُسْنَىٰ And rejects the best, Surah Al-Lail, Verse 10: فَسَنُيَسِّرُهُ لِلْعُسْرَىٰ We will facilitate for him the difficult end. So basically, if we act according to what Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى wants from us, he "eases us towards ease", which is like setting the gears in motion for good things that make life easier to come to us, and eventually, Jannah, but in regards to our immediate lives, it may be something as simple as pulling into an extremely crowded parking lot, and Bam! A parking spot opens up right in front of you. Or maybe you end up just missing an accident on the freeway. Or maybe it happens to be youre tight on cash, and you "just happened" to go to the right store and they have a major sale going on for something you absolutely need to get. The same is also true when we act counter to what Allah wants, all of a sudden our life becomes harder. We're stuck in traffic for extreme lengths of time, we drive around and around and around in a parking lot only to end up having to park down the street on a side road because no spaces were available, maybe we get ripped off and short-changed at the grocery store and don't realize it till we come home and look at our receipt... I know these are very minor things, but cause and effect is very real, and depending on what we put in, we can expect to get back in some way shape or form. I look at it more as the direct cause and effect of my actions as opposed to a punishment for sins . It doesnt necessarily require that I have committed a specific sin, it could just be that I'm in a very negative space in my mind and being angry about something, ungratefull for the blessings i have, etc so therefore I'm generating this negative energy around me and attracting negativity towards me which COULD be considered a spiritual sin and pollution as opposed to a fiqi/jurisprudential sin. Once we enter the realm of spiritual sins, we realize we got alot more "wrong" with us than we thought, things like holding on to anger, jealousy, greed, things that are not "sins", but are still spirituall pollutions for our hearts and souls. Regarding your question about istigfar and tawbah, when we do those, we are seeking Allahsسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى forgiveness for the sins that we have committed, but since we have still put the gears in motion in the algorithm, I think we still have some element of cause and effect that we need to go through. Kind of like the natural consequences of our actions as opposed to the spiritual consequence of having earned a sin, maybe..This is part of why i dont look at what happens to me based on a "punishment only" view, but of one of cause and effect mostly. One little thing I'd like to add in here is, it's quite often we hear people use the term "coincidence" or "chance" or "luck", but there is no such thing as those in Allahsسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى creation and the algorithym. Many times those are words people use when refering to a situation or event they don't know all the details,aspects or variables of what occured to bring that thing into existence. Years ago, i had a friend that gambled, and I always thought it was ignorant when they would start losing hands and turn and say, "luck just isn't with me", or they would blame the dealer for a bad hand, saying, "if this new dealer hadnt come, i would be winning-she brought me bad luck". I'm thinking, luck has nothing to do with it, it depends on how the cards are arranged, the order that they are handed out in, etc. As if luck has some magical ability all its own to float around and land on people,lol.. @AMR5 i just now saw your post above mine and noticed you mentioned "luck" in it, so i just wanted you to know what i just wrote about luck has nothing to do with your post,lol.What a "coincidence" that i happened to read your post and still have enough time to add this to my post so as not to give you the wrong impression:) W/s
  8. shia farm girl

    Have you ever dealt with physical abuse?

    As salaamun aleikum, I grew up in a family where physical abuse was the way things were dealt with. Due to this, anger has been deeply ingrained in me as a result.Anger is a normal reaction for a child to have when they have been blamed for something they didnt do, physically punished for it, then thrown in their room without having their side heard, and left to stew over the maltreatment. It is an injustice, plain and simple. This planted the seed of anger in me and its roots run very deep. It sometimes feels as if it is uncontrollable, like if i smash my finger with a hammer, instead of pain, i jump DIRECTLY INTO RAGE and the hammer goes flying after i beat the...out of the ground:/ Even with much smaller things that cause me pain, like stubbing my toe, or dropping something on my foot, etc. the sense of physical pain makes me instantly angry. I will spend the rest of my life with this being my biggest obstacle to spirituall advancement, and i KNOW Allahسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى is the only one capable of removing it, because i have tried, for YEARS and its only resulted in more anger. Im so tired of it:( Counselors and therapist as well as many books say there is nothing that can be done to get rid of the feeling of anger, only dont act on it, so that basically means just stuffing the feeling when it hits. It bothers me that this has become such a problem in my life for me. Alhamdulilah, it doesn't carry over into abuse from me onto other people, it's just that I'm tired of feeling angry inside. Its upsetting that this anger problem is something that wasn't my own fault, rather, it is the result of something that was completely out of my hands and inflicted upon me at an age when I was helpless innocent and couldn't defend myself. This is just an extra problem in life that wasn't necessary. I cant even imagine how it is for people in other countries who have had EVERYTHING taken from them and abused in the worst ways by... Anyhow, i digress..Growing up with this abuse caused numerous problems in me as an adult psychologically and spiritually. These problems manifest today in self doubt, insecurity, fear, the inability to speak up and be heard, severe aversion to any kind of confrontation, anxiety when dealing with people in general because "you never know what youre going to get", depression, lack of motivation in life, distrust of others and the world. The most crippling of these i would have to say is the anxiety and fear. Many people are of the mindset that those who have been abused, especially as kids, need to just "get over it" and stop "blaming our parents" for our current condition, and although this sounds correct in a utopian sense and has SOME truth to it, the truth about child abuse is that the effects are very far reaching and have been embedded deeply in many peopes psyche. For many of us, our brains and minds have been deeply engrained and shaped around this abuse. It is almost as if it has become part of who we are (The lasting effect it has had on our subconscious programming and wiring as well as our conscious awareness and even our idea of who and what God is.) In my experience, its close to expecting someone to never feel hunger again. Thats how deep it goes. I can tell you one thing, i am VERY sensitive to oppression and the ways peope are treated in this world. I get angry easily when i think of what certain govts are doing and things like Yemen and Palestine, but also at a local level with the homeless situation and poverty in general, and these issues upset me so much. I have much respect for people like Madea Benjamin and wish i could do what she and others like Norm Fink.elstein, Ken O/keefe, dr kevi.n ba.rrett, etc do, but i am too scared, to the point of paralysis. Its like a constant repeat of my childhood, except the "people" i am in fear of quite literally have the ability to make their opposition disappear if they choose, something i was never afraid of with my own family. In a way, the abuse made me stronger and more in tune with injustice, but becomes nullified by my lack of action due to fear, so im REALLY not sure any good at all came from it. At the end of the day, i know this is one of my trials in life, and in sha Allah, Allahسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى will eventually grant me relief from it, and up until then, continue to grant me the ability to stuff it since ive yet to find a real solution to it. Many spiritual ills, like drinking, gambling, promiscuity, drug abuse, etc can be traced back to abuse and in many cases, people don't even understand that's why they're doing these things to begin with, because they have unresolved issues of abuse in their past and these vices are simply very poor means of coping. All abuse is horrible, is opposite from being God conscious and destroys many families and peoples potentials to have good, fullfilling and Godly lives. In the very least, it creates a bunch of extra problems that don't need to be there. W/s
  9. shia farm girl

    "Mistakes" Of Prophets and Imams- Scholarly views

    As salaamun aleikum, What i see going on here is, correct me if im wrong, the earlier (older) scholars had a different understanding of what "infalliable" meant, taking a more...relaxed(?) stance, but since then, (not sure exactly when) scholars started to believe in a more absolute understanding? If i have understood the general idea of this conversation correctly, can someone help me to understand WHY this change occured? What happened that the "newer" scholars would start to shift things more to one side, towards absolute ? I have a tendency to think (sometimes erroneously) that the closer people may be to an event or people, the more accurate their understanding may be, however i could be and have been wrong. Any input is apprecitaed. W/s
  10. As salaamun aleikum, I keep seeing this thread pop up in my feed, and i have been ignoring it for a while now, but i cant keep this inside any longer--.-- The US has overthrown over 50 governments (many democratically elected) since 1945. It has invaded dozens of nations (illegally since they had no UN authority). Nations like Iraq, Vietnam, Cambodia, Dominican Republic, Haiti, Nicaragua, Panama and destroyed them, killing millions of innocent civilians. It has trained thousands of the worst torturers and death squads, propped up the very worst dictators, directly massacred hundreds of thousand of peasants, union leaders and politicians in the process. Heres a place they trained people to do so..School of the Americas...Some may have heard of it. https://abcnews.go.com/International/story?id=81917&page=1 I found this interesting, though..Wonder how long this guy will be around for since he wants to improve the situation... https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2018/12/10/mexico-pump-30-billion-into-central-america-halt-migrant-caravan-donald-trump-lopez-obrador/2272077002/ We already have A LOT of problems here, like poverty, a failing infrastructure, overpriced food,gas, medical insurance, weather devastation, severly deterioating morality, increase in secularity vs religious beliefs, etc so more people would definetly have a big effect on the state of things, however, as many of us know, the powers that be and the lobbies dont care about our state or condition. It shouldnt be suprising when we have a govt with over 30 something dual citizens in it who are loyal to not THIS country, but the OTHER country. With people like this running things from the inside, should we be suprised at the condition of this country and what it has been busy doing,like destroying other countries and causing major refugee/asylum seekers? These asylum seekers/refugees are, whether they know it or not, facing their oppressor and demanding help from the very cause of their misery and destroyed countries, cultures and lives. Most of the PEOPLE of the US want to promote peace & security & freedom but the elites who run the US have opposite aims. They want to enrich themselves, control the world & stop any small nation from running their own countries for the good of their own citizens. The problem us as Muslims or even just as moral and ethical people have, is we see these people and their plight and we want to help them, but how? Im sooo frusterated about all this...it really is a battle of good and evil, and all tjis confusion and obfuscation of the truth makes it harder for all us to find a solution. May Allahسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى protect and guide us all, in sha Allah, and may He give us the ability to clearly discern truth from falsehood, as falsehood likes to wear the garb of fitrah and appear as "good", when in reality, it is a wolf in sheep clothing. W/s
  11. shia farm girl

    I’m being sued

    As salaamun aleikum sister, I unfortunately don't have too much to offer to this thread, other than if you can afford it, an attorney sounds like the right thing to do. There may be other resources you can use to find out the answers to your questions without having to actually hire an attorney, but if he persists, you may have no choice but to seek professional representation. Most attorneys will give you a free consultaion. This helps them decide if there is a case for both of you. If there's no case, no need to pay them as the consultation is free and there isnt a case to pursue. Something very similar happened to my dad about two Christmases ago. My dad was driving around a truck that was stopped in the middle of the road at night with no lights on to alert drivers to its presence there,in the middle of a well traveled highway. My dad went around the truck safely, but then some dude jumped out from behind the truck waving his arms at the last second, so my dad slammed on his brakes. He came closeto hitting him, but didnt make contact. My dad got out of his truck,walked around to the front and asked the guy are you okay? The guy was standing up brushing off his knees and said yes everything was fine. My dad says so do you need anything from me? The guy said no, then my dad asked, is it ok if i go then? And the guy said yes, so my dad left because he needed to get home and get started on his dialysis machine immediately. 45 minutes later, the cops show up at my dad's house saying they just took a police report from a guy claiming my dad did a hit and run on him:/ Even after telling my dad he was fine and could go, he turned around and called the police on him. After everything my dad went through, including the guy threatening to sue him, my dad talking to attorneys about what he should do, etc, basically, nothing came out of it, but he does have a hit-and-run on his record which none of us understand why because my dad didn't hit him, but he DID leave the scene of the accident without contacting the police.. The guys story changed numerous times, everything from the guy flying over the hood of my dads truck, which is extremely high and impossible cuz my dads hood is 4and a half feet off the ground and FOR SURE he wouldve ended up with injuries, to the guy claiming he ended up in a barbed wire fence that doesn't even exist where this accident took place:/ The guy made $50,000 off my dad's insurance and tried to sue my dad on his own outside of that, but nothing ever happened. My dad's Insurance went up since there is a hit-and-run on his record which doesn't make sense because he was never convicted in court of a hit-and-run and he never received a ticket or anything like that, so apparently things can end up on your driving record even if youve never been convicted of it or received a ticket for it,at least this has been my dads experience--.-- The one thing that we all learned out of this whole experience with him is, no matter how bad the accident is or what the other party says, ALWAYS called the police to come and take a report...Never leave the scene of an accident without getting the cops involved because it may be the only thing that saves you from a hit and run charge as well as these other issues youre going through. (Of course, Allahسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى is the only One who saves...) In the very least, it will save you from getting a hit and run. At the end of all this we figured that the guy was just trying to pull a scam which is why he decided to call the cops AFTER my dad left, to get him on a hit-and-run. My dad didn't know any better, he's going to be 77 in a few days and he was pretty much operating from the "gentlemen's agreement" which is a verbal agreement between 2 people. Apparently this person doesn't know how to behave like a gentleman, but it doesn't matter because the law is set up the way it is. Never leave the scene of an accident without making a police report. Because you don't know how it will come back to bite you in the end. I hope everything works out for you sister. With duas-
  12. shia farm girl

    Hello New

    As salaamun aleikum, WELCOME TO SHIA CHAT!!! Nice to meet you:) Hope you feel at home and comfoftable here, in sha Allah:) W/s
  13. shia farm girl

    Muslims marriage websites

    As salaamun aleikum, My husband and i met on Muslimah.com. I dont really remember what my experience was with this site because i cast my net wide and was on about 7 different sites at the same time because i had very narrow and particular criteria. In fact, it was actually TOO narrow..my husband ended up finding ME because based on the fact that i was unable to relocate, i was only looking within a 100 mile radius of where my family lives. My husband was living in Washington, but alhamdulilah, he relocated to california. W/s
  14. shia farm girl


    As-salaam-alaikum, The problem for me with pointing to people/celebrities who are Muslims and using them as a guide to "if music is impermissable, then what about these muslims that do it", is that not everybody follows Islam to the same degree. We have a vast assortment of everything from black to White. That's a lot of gray area. Just in the people that I know, there is quite a variation in how much each person practices. I dont know who the MCs mentioned are, and i dont know how dedicated to Islam they are either, so i cant say anything about them, just that my intention in life is to surround myself with people who remind me of Allahسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى through their actions and according to religion. Its unfortunate the sisters i know who listen to music arent able to offer anything in terms of the criteria i see as beneficial to me regarding religion, and the same sisters arent interested in discussing religion or any of the things i am interested in islamically either. Its like we have 2 completely different lifestyles. Neither of us are able to benefit the other with these dynamics. I cant go backwards, and they are uninterested in moving forward, so what to do? Point blank, I have a job to do here, and i dont have anymore time to waste. Maybe this is just me coming to terms with the reality of my mortality since i will be 43 in 2 months,in sha Allah. I dont know:/ For me, i arrived at the conclusion that music is a distraction for me, and it doesn't serve me well. When I listened to music in the past, it took mey mind and heart away from Islam and rememberance of Allahسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى That's just what I found out is true for me. It may not be true for everybody else. I just know that this is the case for me. I think it really just comes down to a person being real with themselves about if it's causing them problems or not and where their bar is set. I want always this way, in fact, early on in my reversion, i listened to music, but then i reached a point where i was like: "Hmm...is it more beneficial to me to spend an hour and a half driving while listening to music, or if i stream an islamic lecture?" Replacing music with lectures has helped me in my knowledge and practice of Islam SOOOOO much, i just cant go back. Alhamdulilah for everything, though.. ( I'm not denying that music has a place in therapy, as well as for some people, it may actually bring them closer to Allah, but that wasn't the case for me, so I'm just speaking of my own personal experience here, may Allahسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى guide us all to what is best,in sha Allah) W/s
  15. shia farm girl

    Importance of faith while we're young

    Alhamdulilah youre feeling better, brother:) I dont know what you were sick with, but ginger tea can help with all sorts of ailments. Turmeric is good too, for like inflamation and such, but if your feeling nausea, stick with the ginger cuz turmeric can be a bit strong tasting whereas ginger is lighter and helps dettle upset stomach. Take care, W/s