Jump to content
In the Name of God بسم الله


Advanced Member
  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Everything posted by PureExistence1

  1. As salaamun aleikum dear sister, its been quite awhile! Thank you so much for your response and posting the video, I'm going to watch it right now. Thanks for all the support you provided in your post. It is very difficult and I can't see how Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) would count any of this in my benefit because I am having such an unhealthily hard time with it. But Allah knows all of everything that we're going through here and He is Just, be that for or against me.. in sha Allah it will be for me! I had no idea how difficult things would be. It really happened suddenly.. it was a very bad decline for my father.. The hardest thing is not knowing what the end game is. I don't have a light at the end of the tunnel or a particular goal for things to move forward towards because no one knows how things are going to progress and this creates A LOT of mental and emotional stress. There isn't even a general idea because his health is so bad that anything could happen at any moment, or it could stretch on for another 15 years. And whether a facility needs to be the next step or stay here at home and keep dealing with stuff the way it is which is already hard and getting harder. There's "problems and messes" in the bathroom now, he can barely walk without using a shovel handle because he doesn't like to use a regular cane.. he's barely able to walk at all because his hip replacement has caused pain and the doctors can't figure out why (nothing showing up on x-ray) so he practically hobbles around in pain with this shovel handle and he keeps falling.. he fell three times in 36 hours...it's just a matter of time before he breaks another hip or pops the replacement out of its socket..he just won't cooperate or agree to things that can be done to make it safe for himself and us. There's so much more you have no idea about sister @Laayla but I don't want to hijack this thread any further. I just want people that will be having children to know that if they don't take care of their affairs when they still have the ability, their children could very well end up in the position that I'm in. THIS IS THE MOST DIFFICULT (AND UNNECESSARILY SO) THING IVE EVER DEALT WITH AND ITS SERIOUSLY SLOWLY KILLING ME. Please have enough forethought and consideration for your children's futures and the families they will have to not put them through all this when you become older and start to go downhill.. in the very least, try to stay socially connected with the community so if needed, people can step in and help because my parents didn't have a social life, weren't involved in church, didn't know anybody in the neighborhood, don't have any friends from work or elsewhere, lost touch with their own relatives, there is literally nobody here to help us when all of this happened except for my younger brother and I. And bringing In-Home Care is SO expensive. The last thing I like to mention because it took me a while to learn this caveat, no one can make another person shower if they decide not to. Only if the person is committed into a facility will they be forced to wash. So if you're an elderly mother or father who decides you don't want to shower for 3 or4 months, there's no one that can make you. Just know that there's nothing that can be done about that and you will sit there and stink of BO and have filthy clothes on and filthy dirty feet and toenails 2 inches long and there isn't anything anyone can do because you have the right to be that way. This is what the social workers, the home health nurses and the caretakers have told me about both my parents, so just let that sink in a bit.. it's obvious when you're elderly and making a decision to not shower for three or four months, that's something is not right and therefore you're in need of professional help to get you clean because we're all Muslims on here, we know the type of hygiene we are supposed to have and when we start not being able to maintain that hygiene, this a problem spiritually as well as physicaly. if there isn't a plan in place to deal with this situation when it arises, you (AND YOUR KIDS!) will be in a very intolerable situation. Dont put your children in this situation if u can prevent it..i know some may not be able to prevent it, and if that's what turns out to be the case for you, then at least have decent personalities and cooperate with them...give them the power of attorney to manage all of your affairs without creating any extra stress. Their job is most likely going to be way harder than it was for you to raise them in the first place. Ok, rants done! May Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)grant u spiritual wisdom and knowledge and increase u in rank! With duas @ @Laayla
  2. As salaamun aleikum, thank you very much for yiur kind words and duas. Duas really ARE the best thing we can do for each other. May Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) grant you and your loved ones all best in the world and the hereafter, in sha Allah. Thanks for taking the time to respond:)
  3. Salaam, I agree with the same statement you have quoted as well.. Slightly off topic but still to do with having children as Islam doesnt allow children to abandon their parents, I feel it's appropriate to put this here and if it isn't, mods please erase it or do whatever you feel is necessary. After dealing with the extreme hardship and stress that I personally am not cut out for with my physically as well as psychiatrically sick parents and knowing the finances are there for them to get professional care but father chooses not to, plus the extra stress and emphasis Islam puts on us to take care of our parents and this not saying uff to them, it is MUCH more than I can bear and I would not wish for any children brought into the world to have to go through anything even close to this. This isn't a matter of American culture being individualized, selfish and unwilling to take care of the elderly, it is all to do with the huge responsibility of 2 80-year-old people with the mentality and stubbornness of 5 year olds (and no hope that it will improve as it would with a 5 year old as that is not how ageing works...) that I cannot manage and it is literally killing me physically, mentally and now spiritually. (If you know, you know.) I now have psychiatric problems of my own, physical health problems and my spirituality is declining. On many days, I even forget that I have to offer afternoon prayer. A half an hour before evening salaat, I suddenly realize I completely blanked on my afternoon salaat and have to race to complete it. Many salaats have been offered spur of the moment on sides of roads, in parking lots, and anywhere else i can find... I've had a headache for 10 days and doctors can't figure out why. It is because of the tremendous amount of stress that I am under trying to manage their lives. My father is still in enough mental capacity so I cannot Force his hand in a court to allow me to take over legally. But since Islam says we have to take care of our parents, don't say uff to them, and as long as they don't tell us to do anything against islam, I am shackled to this responsibility. I guess I am just going to deal with this until I either die, or have a severe psychiatric meltdown which I was already in the hospital for last weekend, and/or lose my religion. My parents didn't plan to be in the condition they are in, it's just what happened. (Such is life) But since we spend our entire lives never knowing what's going to happen even when we plan for it, the variables do not always come together for our success. Because that risk is as huge as it is, I personally would not take the chance of having children and putting them in the same position that I am in. The human population is not starved for children to carry the torch after we die. There's no shortage of children so if a few people decide not to procreate, it isn't going to hurt anything and there will always be people who want children. The situation leads me to have a lot of doubts about this whole "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" thing, because even though I have doctors and psychiatric help available to me, the doctors don't know what's wrong with me physically so can't prescribe any medication or direct me otherwise, and psychiatry for the most part is just a matter of them throwing pills at you until something sticks which comes with a lot of side effects, side effects that I do not currently have any space whatsoever for right now. I'm also concerned about potential long-term changes to the brain. My life is a living hell 24 hours a day. I am awoken throughout the night by my subconscious imagining I hear my father screaming and yelling for me, and I jolt awake only to find out it is 4:00 in the morning and no one is awake anywhere and lights are not even on! Even when I am away from my parents house and in another city,I still hear my dad's voice and I'm jolted awake, sometimes 3 to 4 times a night. The psychiatrist says this is known as hypnagogic phenomenon. Whatever it is, it has ruined my ability to get a sound night's sleep and there is nothing that can be done to get rid of it. I'm very glad I made the decision to not have children because I wouldn't want them to have to put up with a mess like this. The fact that I short circuit and cannot handle the stress that I am under just allows me to continue to accumulate sin because I find myself completely out of control and I cannot reel it in. At this point, I have to walk away from the situation, regardless of what's going on. I can only imagine the level of guilt I will place upon myself once my parents have passed away and I am just left to sit there and degrade myself with how bad of a human being I am because I didn't behave better while they were alive. And trust me, that's exactly how it will play out. Not everyone is cut out for the role I am in just like not everyone is cut out to be an Olympic athlete, a good school teacher, a good cop, a good mechanic, etc... And yet we see these people that are subpar in those fields doing those jobs subparly, but at least they are allowed to change jobs. I cant abandon my parents. I am substantially and hugely failing at this task and it is destroying my relationship with my parents. This is not how this period of our family's life should be, but for whatever the reason is, it is, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone else nor set anyone else up for the potential of having to be in my position, but since I'm muslim and we are not allowed to abandon our parents, this is just how it is and I would not want to shackle some other person to the same situation by having my own kids. I'm glad I made that decision 25 years ago. One last thing I want to say is, parents, if you plan to have children or already do and want the best for those children's futures, please do everything you can to put things in order so that if your health declines and your mentality goes downhill, that the children are able to swiftly come in and easily manage things. Do not make it harder than it needs to be on them because really, you will only be hurting yourself in the end. A child's responsibility clearly doesn't end when they become an adult and go off to college and get married and have kids. The responsibility of their parents will always be on their neck until death separates the relationship. If you make the decision to have children, you owe it to those children to not make their life suffering and misery when you yourself go downhildownhill. In america, things like long-term care policies that would kick in when a person becomes too sick for family to manage are not granted once a person is already too old or sick, so that needs to be taken care of far before someone begins to show the effects of aging and serious sickness. Otherwise, professional care costs skyrocket when no LTC policy is in place.
  4. Salaam, id be hard pressed to find a place that wasnt affected by colonialism or western influence..havent the slightest idea. It's a global issue, no longer a localized problem thanks to fast easy travel and the internet and cell phones. It was kinda like a pre-covid infectious virus.
  5. Salaam brother, thank you for your input. So basically there is no more that can be said other than what I have already said, as to do so is basically outside our ability to speak on, correct?
  6. As salaamun aleikum brothers and sisters. I don't usually get involved in threads like this, but I was feeling saucy and so I engaged this person and somehow got stuck as far as expressing what i know in my heart and soul and manifesting it in words. There is much wrong in the original post as well as this person's response, however I chose to focus on their idea of God/Creator being limited in the way they claimed, which would be the Creator evolving through learning through its creation. (Lol) Im looking for help with rebuttals and how to develop a coherent explanation for how Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) cant be limited in such a way that He depends on His creation for His own evolution. Mind you, this is a non muslim, but I still think the point can be made without resulting to Islamic wording as Allahs(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) necessary unlimtedness can be proven in a very rational manner. Please see the brief exchange below, and thanks in advance for your thoughts. Random question asked on Quora: "I believe that we are consciousness experiencing itself through physical bodies. Why would individual souls exist after death then? What is the point or need for this continuity?" Someones reaponse: The view that “we are consciousness experiencing itself through physical bodies” does not accurately reflect either the Creator or the design of the Creator, an integral part of which is that every spirit is an individual, beginning with their creation and extending through eternity. The Creator does continue to grow and evolve through interactions with both the spirit world and the physical world, which you might interpret as “experiencing itself,” but that would make the intention self-centered, which it is not. The intent is to provide opportunities for both spirits and mortals to also grow and evolve to their full potential. There is no merging of spirits into some undifferentiated bliss when they have reached a certain level. They continue to be actively involved in various roles in the spirit world, either as mentors/instructors to less experienced spirits or in providing assistance to mortals. My response/question: Hello, would this: “The Creator does continue to grow and evolve through interactions with both the spirit world and the physical world..” Mean that: The Creator is somehow in need of creation in order to become 'more' than what the Creator is? Maybe my understanding of the Creator is skewed, but it doesn't feel right that an omnipotent Creator/God would be in need of this contingent creation for Its own growth/evolution. The creation is wholly dependent on the Creator for its existence, and without the Creator, creations existence would be impossible, so how can the Creator depend on/grow/evolve/change Its state through something the Creator created Itself when the Creator already knows all there is about its creation as it is the Creator that created all? Its almost as if the Creator changing It's state implies that the Creator is subject to time, place, movement, moods, etc that Its own creation is subject to, which would in turn limit the Creator in many ways. Their response: I can only say that the Creator did not create the physical world for the purpose of their own growth, but does grow and evolve nonetheless through interacting with it. For the Creator to remain static would seem to be more of a limitation. My response: "Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it. I guess my understanding of the Creator is that they are and always have been Absolute Pure Perfection, so with this understanding, I am left with the question of how can Pure Perfection need any improvement / gain / growth, etc.? When something is already absolutely perfect, what more can be added to that? Maybe it's just that my understanding of the Creator is different." Any thoughts on how i can bolster my stance?
  7. Thank you for your explanation, brother. Do you also experience your memories in the same way?
  8. Salaam, To give her PLENTY of opportunity and time to repent and mend her ways so there could be no wrong doing or injustice attributed to Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), astagfirullah. Also: [3:178] And let not those who disbelieve think that Our granting them respite is better for their souls; We grant them respite only that they may add to their sins; and they shall have a disgraceful chastisement. And: And he to whom We grant long life We reverse in creation; so will they not understand? (I wonder if she ever understood?) And somewhere else it says that Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) grants the world to the people who desire it but they have no share in the afterlife. As far as prime ministers are concerned, did she speak against their decisions openly? She has more going against her than for her as far as morals, ethics and justice are concerned..Just cuz she looks like a nice sweet ol lady and gave a few emotional speeches doesnt mean jack in the whole scheme of things. Practically every move she ever made is Google-able. People are short sighted/ deficient in memory and not good at critically thinking. (Sorry, dealing with a 3 day migraine and cant think too well and dont have the ability to search for all the specific ayahs) If ive said any wrong here, may Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) forgive me and may others correct me!
  9. As salaamun aleikum brothers and sisters, I have kind of a weird question. While sitting here and just thinking for a while, I realized that as far as I can remember, all my memories from childhood moving forward have all been from the perspective of me seeing the event happening from outside of myself, usually from the upwards vantage point. Are anyone else's memories like this? Like for example, if I'm looking back over a memory of me holding a chicken when i was 9, I don't see the chicken in my hands, rather, I see the event unfolding from outside and above myself. And as I go back through most of my memories, that's the perspective that I see things from....18 years old jumping in the balls outside in McDonald's playland... I see myself and my best friend playing in the balls from outside myself. On remembering myself skateboarding on my ramp when i was 12, I do not see my memory through the eyes of a person on a skateboard going up and down the ramp, rather, I see myself from up high and from a distance watching myself skateboard. It's like this with all my memories. If everybody else has memories from the same perspective, I'm wondering why it is that we see things from outside ourselves in 3rd person perspective and not from the perspective of 1st person and being the doer of the action. Thanks for any input!
  10. SubhannAllah! Its very sad that this version wasnt chosen as so many problems regarding certain ayahs, especially those regarding particular people or events wouldve prevented so many problems in the ummah. I wonder what the hikmah behind this is???
  11. Salaam, Thanks for providing all this information, its very helpful. I have a question. Im sure none of us doubt that all the Imams(عليه السلام) had the Holy Quran completely memorized, and we know Imam Ali(عليه السلام) came up with the punctuations(?)/diacritic marks, so why did it take him 6 months to compile it? Was there a reason why he needed to collect random inscriptions from here and there instead of just sitting and writing it all out in one go? Thanks in advance for all insight!
  12. Salam, as someone else mentioned, we are supposed to be muslims first, and that requires having furqan of who is on haqq. Which world leaders are on haqq? I like to know so i can recognize haqq as Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has told us to. Thanks for suggestions.
  13. Salaam, It's normal to have a lot of questions about something you're about to dive in and devote your entire life and existence to. The important thing is that you keep searching for your answers. Each correct answer you get will make you more firm in your path and if you ever come across a question you are unable to get answers to, come here and post it and I'm sure the brothers and sisters here that have email addresses to sheikhs that accept inquiries will help you..or download the app "Ask Those Who Know" app and you can choose from about 15 different sheikhs you can send your question to. If someone don't answer it sufficiently, send it to someone else. The important thing is that you continue to seek knowledge and don't give up!
  14. Really?? This technology os currently in use at airports?!? Everyone even brothers should be asking for private screenings then...
  15. Salaam, Sorry this is a bit off topic, but we know Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) doesnt have a literal throne, and im not gonna bring all the reasoning for how it limits Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) to have him confined in a place/on a throne, so how are we supposed to understand things like this when we come across them? ...lifted my head and saw: ‘Laila ha illallahu Muhammadur Rasulullah’ written on the Throne.
  16. As salaamun aleikum, I haven't seen it being used, no doubt that it exists though. I think if they want to employ this on any kind of a level that society will be aware of them using it at, they will probably continue to give sisters a private screening like they do at airports nowadays instead of asking them to take off their hijab and their overclothes or being patted down by a male security person in front of other people. Instead, they'll probably give them the option of going to a private space and having another female thoroughly check them out. This is what they currently do. As far as the deployment of this technology goes in the future, they would probably get away with it if they employ it in such a way that the average citizen in society isn't aware that they're using it. Kind of like how there are cameras all around us on streets these days and on light poles, on stop lights and stuff and we don't really know they're there unless we look. And even then, cameras are capable of being hidden practically anywhere with a small as they make them nowadays. The technology you're speaking of could probably be worked into the preexisting camera technology we currently have and we wouldn't even know it's being used but that info would probably get leaked eventually. Things are bad all the way around the world, and rights and privacies are getting trampled all over the place so while I do see the walls closing in on humanity in a sense, I don't think any society is bad off enough for this to be being employed widespread anytime soon, probably not in the next 30 years, in sha Allah.
  17. Assalamualaikum. I think this is a very important question and while the brother has provided very good and just reference, i still find myself in a moral dilemma. Of course with any lie, you risk getting caught and in trouble, which is the natural consequence of lying. However, when we look at what's done with our taxes by the different governments, it also makes me in fear of being accountable for what's happening with my taxes and since I'm not able to leave where I live and move to an Islamic country, I'm practically stuck here and having to make decisions based on this situation. My dilemma also includes the fact that my mother has dementia, and my father is not doing well health-wise and will eventually die. So what am I supposed to do after he dies when she asks me every 5 minutes where is he at?? Because she already does this while he's alive and at a doctor's visit. So am I supposed to hold myself to some moral code of never lying and keep telling her over and over sorry, your husband's dead. Sorry, your husband's dead, sorry, your husband's dead and each time she dies a little bit inside from getting the news again as if it has just happened? Sorry, but I'm going to be lying to some extent in this circumstance when it arises. And if I have to pay the consequences in jahannnam or barazakh or wherever, then that's what I'll have to deal with because I'm not going to put somebody through that kind of torture. Its inhumane and unethical. I realize that my situation that I just listed is not the same as yours, however, sometimes lying, as much as we want it to be a black and white thing, is not. There is always an exception to every case as is evidenced from eating pork if we're starving or stealing an apple. Please don't take what I'm saying as license to go off and lie about whatever you want as long as you can come up with a justification for it, cuz that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that it's not always black and white. As far as your situation is concerned, I think anywhere you look, the technical answer is going to be it's not permissible. No one wants to be responsible for giving someone else permission to lie. Besides that, I'm not sure of the baraka that would be achieved through donating money that "technically belongs to the govt"..Just know that if i was in your situation, id have the same exact issue.
  18. Assalamualaikum everyone, As the title asks, do we know from any authentic Islamic narrations if Prophet Suleiman (عليه السلام) married the queen of sheba? I think it exists in the bible, but curious if we have any authentic hadith that don't trace themselves back to biblical sources or stories. Thanks for any help!
  19. As salaamun aleikum, Not sure if i can post this here as there may be some rule about advertising that im not aware of. If so, mods please delete this post and accept my apologies. Sheikh Hussain Makke has created a company and they deal with healing herbs and other substances including black seed, directly from the sunnah of the Prophet(SAWS). Heres an excerpt from their website: Wilaya Wellness The body and the soul are too often depicted as separate entities. The truth is that they are two spheres of the one self, and so they must be in harmony if one is to truly commit themselves to the path of Islam – a path of spirituality and of warriorhood. UFC lightweight fighter Rafael Fiziev and teacher of the Islamic sciences Sayed Hussain Makke have come together to offer you Wilaya Wellness, where we are wholeheartedly committed to combining these two spheres. Wilaya Wellness was designed to offer healing remedies and teachings rooted in the Islamic tradition for every brother and sister who is on the path to becoming a Spiritual Warrior. To learn more, youll have to google their website. Hope its beneficial. Salaamun aleikum.
  20. Salaam, When I went to Iran to visit, I couldn't believe that people were drinking and selling Coke there! I thought people knew better about the different things that Coca-Cola promotes and who and what powers in this world they put their money behind and contribute to. I was thinking to myself wow, these people are actually buying a drink from a company that supports its number one foe.: (
  21. Assalamualaikum, The little bit of islamic knowledge that I have about dreams is: 1) There are in general three types of dreams. One type of dream is a true dream, these occur during the later sleeping hours close to when you would be waking up in the morning and these dreams come true. Dreams that happen at other times tend to fall into one of the other two categories which are either muddled dreams, meaning they are unclear and you cannot really grasp any information from them, or dreams that are influenced by "negative forces", commonly referred to as Shaytaan influenced. 2) Dreams are a part of the prophetic faculty that humans have. I encourage you to craft an email and inquire further about what this means from the sheikh I will leave contact information for at the bottom of this post. He is a very excellent scholar who posts many videos on YouTube. He currently is located in Qom Iran, but travels around to different Shia Masjids all over the world giving lectures. He also does spiritual retreats. His focus is mostly on the esoteric aspects of islam, something that no other English speaker does to the same capacity that he does, which is sorely missing in Islam as personally I believe it is the core of the religion. His name is Dr. Farrokh Sekaleshfar. I encourage you to explore his videos. You can YouTube his name and you will find his own You Tube channel. You can also search for a YouTube channel called IBN. I'm not sure why, but videos from IBN do not come up in my search results when I search for him on YouTube so I have to go directly to IBN's YouTube channel and look for him within their channel. It may be because they spell his name slightly differently which skews You Tubes search algorithm. As far as what he says about dreams, he says dreams are semi-imaterial in nature. They are produced from our souls. The more spiritually pure a person is, the more pure and clean and understandable their dreams are. He says it is not uncommon for people to have dreams where we see people like Imam khomeini, Ayatollah Bahjat, etc. And in these dreams they may be doing something like waking us up for fajr salaat or some other type of religious activity. In those cases, he says they are actually Angels appearing to us but we are not able to experience the angel in their true form so they present themselves in the form of these people we are familiar with. He says that dreams are our spirits way of downloading metaphysical information and realities into our soul but when we are veiled due to sinning and other bad behaviors, the dreams become not understandable or muddled. Your dream sounds very clear. What may have happened in the dream is that some abstract metaphysical information that you do not mentally recall was downloaded into your soul. Exactly what use a download of semi immaterial abstract information is for a person when they don't remember it is beyond my scope of knowledge. I encourage you to send him, Dr sekaleshfar, an email and see what he may have to say about your dream. He's not a dream interpreter so dont expect him to tell you what it means, but he may be able to give you more details about the nature of dreams in general and he may be able to refer you to specific lectures of his where he discusses this topic. He may be able to give you a better general idea of the Urafas take on dreams as he very commonly quotes and refers to people such as Ayatollah jawadi Amolie, Ayatullah Hassanzadeh Amoli(رضي الله عنه) Imam khomeini(رضي الله عنه) Ayatollah Bahjat(رضي الله عنه), In other words the great arifs of the 20th century. He also quotes other people but that is not important information at this point. Anyway, he is very free about giving people access to him and his email so I feel very comfortable sharing it here with you. In sha Allah he can provide you with some further information on the nature of dreams, but again don't expect him to interpret it because that's not what he's about. But he can better help you understand dreams in general from the Islamic perspective. (As far as I know, and I follow him and his videos very closely, there is not a specific video that I am able to share a link from regarding dreams and the Islamic understanding of them because he very commonly touches on sporadic issues throughout lectures on a variety of subjects and so it is very difficult to know what particular lecture information regarding dreams comes from. It would be great if he would dedicate one video or a short series of videos to this particular phenomenon because I think it's very important considering how dreams relate directly to the soul and a person's spiritual state, however no such video exists from him at this point, only bits and pieces of the explanation of dreams strewn randomly throughout probably 500 different lectures he's given. So I apologize for not being able to give you something a little bit more concrete and easier to work with.) If you do in fact contact him, I would be extremely excited and grateful if you would share what he says in case he mentions anything that I am not already aware of. You can DM me on this site or you can obviously share it openly on this post if you want. Totally up to you, but hoping to learn something new if possible. I think you have had a very amazingly beautiful dream, mashaAllah! Dr Sekaleshfars info: fbsekaleshfar@gmail.com He also has a facebook page. As salaamun aleikum rahmatullah:)
  22. Sister, this is so true and happens so often! Sometimes its humorous, other times just plain frustrating..
  23. Yes you're right about that. My problems seem to begin around 4th grade math.. i do fine with my finances and with keeping time, I just have a hard time with understanding fractions and algebra..i winged it through the rest of the public school math classes. In 2010, I decided to attend Junior college for a career in environmental science, and I was 34 at the time and thought that maybe I was just lazy or now that I'm older I would be able to do the math, and I really went into it with a positive attitude and a "go get em" kind of spirit, but then I basically fell flat on my face by the third week into math. Y that time, I had already invested about a year and a half into school before I began taking math classes. I wish I had taken them right away so then I could have made a decision without having already made the investment in time, but in sha Allah kheyr. If i ever decide to go back to school, i may need to take you up on your offer:) Thank you for that!
  24. I wish when i was growing up i had had a teacher with your attitude regarding math. Ive always had a problem with it and basically left jr college cuz i was unable to pass the lowest math class they offered despite studying 6 hours at night and 3 before class. I was a straight A student and about to get an F in math, so i left before my GPA and funding could be affected:( I may have dyscalcula but it costs alot to be diagnosed since im no longer a minor. Not sure it matters now. In sha Allah you get the job. Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) will put you right where you belong:)
  25. Salaam, I have known for years, probably since I was 10, that I absolutely do not want children. Now at 46 years old, all of the character defects that I have and the intolerances and just the personality that I have, shows that the decision I made was the right one. I have a tremendously hard time just dealing with my elderly and sick parents. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have kids on top of that or to have had kids in general. I don't think I'm missing out on anything, I think it's like someone else has mentioned above that parenthood isnt for everyone.. different strokes for different folks. Not all of us are meant to be parents and I don't think the guilt of being a Muslim and the expectation of having a large family should be thrust upon someone. I however made this decision many years before I became Muslim and I wasn't pressured into making it, neither was i "coerced by society or its norms and pressures" to pursue a career, cuz i never did that, I just realized that who i am and the personality I have is incompatible with having children. And that's okay... I couldnt care less whether someone else approves of it or not. I'd rather have made the choice to not have children, then have had children and for them to be all screwed up because of me and my personality defects. And I'm also not going to hang on the, "well you wont know unless you try" line because to me, that's just a setup for failure. A person needs to know themselves well enough to know what's appropriate for them and what isn't, not hang on some fairy tale that "you will feel different when you have a child" and then find out that i was infact right, that it wasnt for me and now some poor innocent soul has to spend the rest of their lives in counceling trying to fix the mental and psychological damage done to them by their parents when they were too young and helpless to protect themselves. (Any adults here relate to this now that theyre grown?) Salaam
  • Create New...