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In the Name of God بسم الله

DutifulWife

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  1. I would say that there would be major differences. I am a revert from a western country and currently in a temporary marriage, so I have experienced both. In my marriage, I feel more respected as a human being and as a woman. Also, I feel a strong sense of obligation to my husband, to follow through on my responsibilities regarding his rights, to be kind with him, and to support him in every way I can (hence my username :-) ). Whereas in the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship common in my country, I have found that there is very little sense of obligation to each other. Though partners may care about one another, the focus of the relationship is more about one's wants, needs, and desires being met and less so about doing this for the other. This is why I think that couples will often live with each other for long periods of time before marriage. It's pleasurable for one to be around that person and to be intimate with them, but to marry that person removes the relationship from the realm of "me" into the realm of responsibility. Even if they have children together, if you ask these people why they are not married yet, many will say it is because they are not ready to commit. They have a child, so obviously they are committed now whether they like it or not, but what I think is really going on is that to marry is to consciously make that relationship about more than "me", which is becoming more and more frightening to westerners. In a world where mutah was the norm, I believe that there would be more respect between men and women in general, there would be less children abandoned by one of their parents, and people would feel emotionally healthier. Why? Because even in a brief temporary marriage, that may only last an hour and may only be for physical satisfaction, to stop and make a contract, give a dowry, and say words of commitment is about respecting the other human being's right to their body and their soul. Mutah about more than "me" unlike what goes on in Western cultural practice.
  2. Wa alaikum asalam! Thank all of you very much for taking the time to respond to me! All the responses were quite helpful!!
  3. Asalam alaikum was rahmat Allah wa barakatu. Hi everyone, I am sorry to ask an awkward question on a public forum, but I am a new muslimah and would really appreciate any information! My husband likes one of us to always be wearing some article of clothing (normally it's socks) when we are intimate. He says that it will keep shaitan from reaching our child if I were to become pregnant. I have tried googling this and have found opinions of scholars that say that there is no reason for couples to have to wear clothing during intercourse. However, these are all Sunni resources and my husband is Shia. Is there a different opinion in the school of ahl albayt? Furthermore, he also told me that water can count as a cover, so it is permissible to be intimate in the shower without clothing. Once again, can anyone direct me to information about this? Either way, I will respect my husband's wishes as I love him and want to be a good wife, but I would just like to know. Thank you very much!
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