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In the Name of God بسم الله

TryHard

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TryHard last won the day on February 8

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About TryHard

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  1. No money should not be a criteria regardless of how a person feels . On of the imam’s I believe imam sadiq (عليه السلام) has a saying that goes something like “he who fears getting married because of povert has thought badly of Allah.” The Quran clearly goes against the idea. regardless I do agree there are some situations where a person can’t get married we don’t need to keep going on this as I stated multiple times there are situations where a person can’t marry but the only thing is it should not be because of money. If you want to believe that than you are going against the Quran and ahlulbayt (عليه السلام). I know people who have fasted and they still have problems controlling urges I even know some who still fall into sin despite fasting even in Ramadan. You speak of all this fasting from a perspective of someone who does not know what it’s like to actually fast to control sexual desires my advice is to talk to brothers who actually do this. It does not work forever the effects go away once you get used to fasting. you stop feeling it. fasting is one recommended act regardless it’s not a permanent one. You will get used to it and the effects will ware off. if your a prisoner ask allah for help. my issue with all this is people say all this stuff like fasting and getting busy and they use EXTREME SITUATIONS like prison and war to justify delaying marriage for people who are not in those kinds of situations like the average youth or the OP brother Natsu. these situations like prison don’t apply to all of us and in general the youth should be getting married or at least making an intention to.
  2. 1. I said multiple times some people can’t find spouses however I will repeat again for Allah knows how many times now people should still look and try to get married and Money should not be a factor in preventing this. 2.fasting “diminishes” it but it definitely does not get rid of it. There are a lot of Muslims who unfortunately masturbate even in Ramadan you can find posts about here on shiachat as well. Not to mention the fact others fast for this very reason and it only goes so far you do get used to it. Diminish means that it lowers it but it does not remove it what diminishes it more than fasting is getting married so to speak. fasting is not a permanent solution.
  3. You never explained how the way I was using it was incorrect and none of what you said shows that. So I was using it correctly. Money is in the hand so allah when it comes to marriage. So if a person wants to marry but fears poverty they should not. Same with abortions and having kids Allah says the same thing not to fear poverty and have children. The “talk” I was referring to was hers because I have argued with her about this topic before. So when I was calling her holier than though it was directed specifically at her as I’ve seen her on topics like this before. 2. He advised unmarried people to fast as a temporary solution. Not a permanent one. Your wrong and seem to be making lies about me. I agreed more than once In this very conversation that we must all avoid sins married or not but I also reminded you that this patience and self control and fasting is all temporary it’s not supposed to be made permanent on ourselves. If we can’t find a spouse that is one thing but the lack of money should not stop us read the fatwas for yourselves they are pretty clear.
  4. I think what you said was immature but we can go back and forth on that. As for it being impractical I have seen it work out for people. The people on this forum do not represent all the Muslims and Shia in the world maybe because you spend so much time here you might believe that but I can assure you that is not the case. If your marja says what you claim prove it and bring a fatwa as I have. She definitely cant demand another house if he cant afford it.But as said before a house is not needed in the situation we are talking about I posted fatwas you saw them and chose to make a joke. The wifes right to be provided for is based on the husbands income if he is poor its different from a millionaire. Self control is a short term solution and not meant to be a long term one a person should have the goal to marry as soon as possible. Temporary marriage can also be a solution. You might not like the idea of Islam saying not to hold back sexual urges when they are halal but those urges can lead to worship of Allah. I never discounted self control as being important quote me once where I said it wasn't please just one time. Look at my conversation with anonymous male I agreed self control is needed my point of all this is it should not be a long term solution. My other point was that money is not a factor in getting married because that is in the hands of Allah. People like you attempt to make Islam difficult on everyone else when its a religion of ease. Your talk of self control does not make you better than everyone you can keep your holier than though attitude and see where it gets you cause it is not Islam.
  5. Imam ali (عليه السلام) got married at 24 to al zahra (عليه السلام) who was about 9 or 8. Some imam’s(عليه السلام) got married earlier in their teens and others later. The one thing they have in common is telling us to get married early at a young age when we are in our youth basically the earlier the better. also I’m not saying everyone should get married as soon as hormones kick in what I am saying is that finances should not be a real factor according to the Quran if you still believe they should then your going against the Quran and God help you at that point.
  6. Also I hope you mean Jihad al Nafs. That doesn't mean don't get married in fact getting married improves Jihad al Nafs cause its half your deen.
  7. Im not sure exactly how to respond. Anyways I gave you the fatwas I know you are not big on following scholar cause you might think you know everything. I could also respond sarcastically and in an immature way as you have but I don't feel that would bring any benefit. Ill say no one wants their family to be poor and their wife to have nothing but to say people cant get married for financial reasons and that their wife can automatically divorce them when financial trouble comes does not build healthy societies. Like it or not Islam encourages marriage and the ahlul bayt (عليه السلام) say when someone is committing sins as a result of not being married they should get married irrespective of finances. "If they are poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty." 24:32
  8. I'm posting fatwas cause I said I would here are fatwas on the issues discussed here according to Imam khamenei (ha) and Sayed Sistani (ha). The only time a marja seems to allow refusal of intercourse is in sayed sistanis (ha) case and he only allows it if the husband does not provide nafaqah deliberately despite being able to do so. I'll also note none of them say you must be financially independent to get married and in Sistani's (ha) case he even says its mustahab despite the financial difficulties. Questions are on the bottom answers are on the top answers are in red for Imam Khamenei (ha). 1. Subject: Marriage & Marital affairs Istifta’ no.: 97wmygy Bismihi Ta`ala Salamun `alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu The wife should yield to her husband's normal and halaal sexual demands. He remains indebted to her wife for the maintenance. With prayers for your success If the husband can not provide for his wife due to not being financially independent or other financial difficulties like not having a job can his wife refuse sexual intercourse when he asks for it? 2. Subject: Marriage & Marital affairs Istifta’ no.: 6zgw6pk Divorce is in the hand of the husband. Husband's not maintaining his wife per se does not call for divorce unless the wife falls into unbearable hardship. With prayers for your success If a husbad is not providing nafaqah for his wife may she seek a divorce? 3. Subject: Marriage & Marital affairs Istifta’ no.: 7gyzk2w By itself, it is not objected. With prayers for your success If a person is poor and has no money to the extent that he cannot provide for his wife because he is homeless and jobless is it permissible for him to get married? 4. In the Name of God, the Most High Since her husband is poor and cannot provide for her clothing, food, and other expenses, the wife should be available for her husband. If he deliberately refuses to provide nafaqa, she can refuse to submit herself to him. May Allah grant you success www.sistani.org Istifta Section - Office of His Eminence Al-Sayyid Ali Al-Sistani From: Sent: Monday, May 04, 2020 10:26 PM To: Istifta Section - Office of His Eminence Al-Sayyid Ali Al-Husseini Al-Sistani Subject: Marriage Name: Email: Your tracking number: 984450 Subject: Marriage ————————— Question: If a person cannot provide for his wife due to financial difficulties that have effected him can his wife refuse his right to sexaul intercourse? Prefered response language: English 5. In the Name of God, the Most High It is permissible and recommended. May Allah grant you success www.sistani.org Istifta Section - Office of His Eminence Al-Sayyid Ali Al-Sistani From: Sent: Monday, May 04, 2020 10:31 PM To: Istifta Section - Office of His Eminence Al-Sayyid Ali Al-Husseini Al-Sistani Subject: Marriage Name: Email: Your tracking number: 984453 Subject: Marriage ————————— Question: If a person is not financially independent and lives with his parents is it still permissible albeit mustahab for a man to get married?
  9. @Anonymous-Male if the point your trying to make is that some people have to avoid sin when they aren’t married sure I agree. In general though people should look for a spouse. Most people are not locked in a dungeon and are trapped where they can’t get married. Therefore this patience you talk of should not be encouraged as a long term solution for everyone.
  10. Again suppressing his desires should not be a long term solution. If he can’t find a spouse despite looking that’s something else my point is he should look while not committing sins if that’s what you mean than fine.
  11. If you can’t get married as in you can’t find a spouse despite the fact that you looked yes do not sin however what I’m against is that being put forward as a long term solution when it is not.
  12. Allah provides sustenance through marriage have you read the Quran “Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among yourselves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace: for Allah encompasseth all, and he knoweth all things.” 24:32 also didn’t you mention something about imam ali (عليه السلام) not having a house and still getting married? as for the parents again you shouldn’t listen to your parents. your parents can’t force you to disobey allah if they do your allowed to disobey them. Like the sons of many of the mushrikeen In times of the prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)
  13. @habib e najjaar you see what you mentioned about mahr didn't change a thing as you see I put in the question and it still didn't change their answer. I sent questions to more offices but their websites take a while Ill probably post more in a few weeks. But in conclusion brother natsu and others can get married and what you and others say about houses and finances, nafaqah etc.. is, as you can see clearly against Islam. Inshallah you correct these wrong views you have and stop preventing others from getting married with your false understanding.
  14. Anyways despite the fact I know you are wrong I am going to post more istiftat when I get them. Even though I know why the issue of mahr is different from maintenance I still sent questions on it in the hope that you will see your views on this issue are wrong.
  15. no he must get married if he fears sin especially since according to you Imam Ali (عليه السلام) didnt have a house and still went and got married. So homeless people should follow the example of Imam Ali (عليه السلام). He can have a mutah or get married permanent. Parents cannot just let you not get married the quran says if your parents tell you to sin you must refuse them. I disagree actually. people should not sin but they need to try to get married even if they are homeless or their parents say no. Learn to be strong and stand up for yourself. Those people are supposed to try and get married even if they are homeless.
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