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In the Name of God بسم الله


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  1. Like
    aliyah21 got a reaction from wolverine in Exams!   
    When I was in uni I did a lot of my studying and school work on my laptop and kept getting distracted by Facebook and other stuff online... I don't remember the name of the website anymore, but you could enter certain websites that would be blocked on your computer for certain timeframes (such as when you're studying or writing a paper), and when my semester finished I was able to go back and lift those blocks. I'm sure there's still lots of websites/apps available that do that. 
  2. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to Heavenly_Silk in Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]   
  3. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to Enlightening Inspirations in World’s First University Founded by a Muslim Woman   
    World’s First University Was Founded by a Muslim Woman?

    If you ask someone to name an inspirational person, dead or alive; they will probably name someone like Martin Luther King, Tariq Ramadan, or Neil Armstrong depending on their preference. There is no denying the fact that these men have indeed done amazing things; they are powerful people. But many people are not aware of the fact that, women are doing and have done amazing things too.

    It’s not our fault, we live in a patriarchal society. I just want to remind you of these names, and I want you to consider them in your list. Marie Curie, she was the first woman who was awarded the first noble prize in chemistry and physics. Maria Michell, an American was the first professional astronomer.

    If we talk about contribution of great Muslim women the name of Fatima Al Fihri. The daughter of a Merchant, was known as “The mother of boys” and “The Lady of Fez”. I am talking about Fatima Al Fihri. Who is the founder of the first university (academic university). Okay, lets take a step back. Around 1215 years ago, a girl named Fatima was born in 800 CE in Tunisia. After a few years her family moved to Fez, which was an influential Muslim city back in the days. It was a city for people with ambition, and it was the perfect city or the Al Fihri family.

    They were struggling with money, but the merchants hard work paid off; and he turned out to be a successful business man. Soon after Fatima’s brother and father passed away, she was left alone with her sister Mariam. As they had a generous sum of money, they decided to invest in something that would be beneficial for the community. Her sister decided to build a mosque, which is known as the Al Andalus Mosque. And Fatima wanted to benefit the community on an educational level, so she founded the Al Qarrawiyyin University in 859.

    This university was a huge achievement, and a great way to link the Muslim culture’s alliances with European culture. Muslims and non-Muslims both studied at the Al Qarawiyyin University. It was a university built in the 9th century, and most of you would think it only taught Qur'an and Fiqh; but in reality it taught astrology, geology, chemistry, grammar, medicine, and mathematics.

    The most inspirational and admirable things about Fatima is undoubtedly her vision. She decided to use her wealth in a way that would benefit the society in the long run. She passes away in 880 CE, but the Al Qarrawiyyin University is still existent; and is one of Morocco’s highly appreciated university. Guinness book of world record recorded the Qarrawiyyan university as the most oldest in the world, which is still providing education to students. To honor Fatima’s great contribution, a program was developed with 20 universities of North Africa and Europe, to promote higher education. Woman like Fatima Al Fihri have inspired millions of people.
  4. Like
    aliyah21 got a reaction from Anonymous in University questions   
    From reading your post, to me, it seems like you already know what you want to do, but it's the living arrangements/accommodations that are making you second guess your decision. I personally don't think it's that big of a deal having to work part time while in University. it may seem daunting if you've never worked before but keep in mind the majority of students do work one or two part time jobs; it's just a matter of balancing school with your other commitments. Plus you'll have work experience to add onto your resume. Like you mentioned there are so many opportunities you'd be missing if you stayed in your hometown. If you go to this out of state University and the experience isn't what you thought it would be, at least you can take it as a learning experience and transfer back to the school in your hometown if that plan doesn't work. On the other hand, if you don't even take the chance of going, won't you always be wondering "what if?" and regretting your lost opportunities? 
    Seems like you you already know what you want to do; you just need a push.
  5. Like
    aliyah21 got a reaction from ShiaMan14 in Best Professional Advice You've Received   
    Invest in yourself as much as you can. You are your biggest asset. Knowledge, networking, credibility.... Anything you do to improve your own talents and make yourself more valuable will get paid off in the long term. 
  6. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to yahlulbayt in any dearbornians? michiganders? lol   
    I just moved to michigan from Boston for a program at UofM ann arbor. Idk what it is but I'm having trouble finding people to connect with here (or atleast people who are interested in learning more about islam/ like to have intellectual convos. If your from ann arbor/dearborn/detroit  area , we should connect  
    friend mehhh
  7. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to Ron_Burgundy in Avoid marrying a wrong person   
    There is a right way and a wrong way to get to know someone for marriage.  The wrong way is to get caught up in the excitement and nuance of a budding relationship and in the process completely forget to ask the critical questions that help determine compatibility.  One of the biggest mistakes that many young Muslims make is rushing into marriage without properly and thoroughly getting to know someone.  A common myth is that the duration of a courtship is an accurate enough measure of how compatible two people are.  The logic follows that the longer you speak with someone, the better you will know them.  The problem with that premise is that no consideration is given to how that time is spent. Increasingly, young Muslim couples are engaging in “halal dating,” which is basically socializing with each other in the company of friends and/or family. This includes going out to dinner, watching a movie, playing some sport or other leisure activity, etc.  Depending on the family or culture, conversations are either minimal & chaperoned or worse, unrestricted and unsupervised. When you consider these  limitations it makes one wonder when exactly, if ever at all, would the critical conversations take place?  Unfortunately, for many, the answer is never and they live to suffer the consequences.  If you or someone you know is in the “getting to know someone” phase,  the following guide offers advice on exactly what to look for and avoid:

    1) Do Not Marry Potential:  Oftentimes men consider marrying a woman hoping she never changes while a woman considers marrying a man she hopes she can change.  This is the wrong approach on both accounts.  Don’t assume that you can change a person after you’re married to them or that they will reach their potential.  There is no guarantee, after all, that those changes will be for the better. In fact, it’s often for the worse. If you can’t accept someone or imagine living with them as they are then don’t marry them.  These differences can include a number of things such as ideological or practical differences in religion, habits, hygiene, communication skills, etc.

    2) Choose Character over Chemistry:  While chemistry and attraction are no doubt important, character precedes them both. A famous quote follows, “Chemistry ignites the fire, but character keeps it burning.” The idea of falling “in love” should never be the sole reason for marrying someone; it is very easy to confuse infatuation and lust for love.  The most important character traits to look for include humility, kindness, responsibility, & happiness. Here’s a breakdown of each trait:

    ·        Humility: The humble person never makes demands of people but rather always does right by them. They put their values and principles above convenience and comfort.  They are slow to anger, are modest, and avoid materialism.

    ·        Kindness: The kind person is the quintessential giver. They seek to please and minimize the pain of others. To know if a person is a giver, observe how they treat their family, siblings, and parents. Do they have gratitude towards their parents for all that they’ve done for them? If not, then know that they will never appreciate what you do for them. How do they treat people they don’t have to be kind towards (i.e. waiters, sales associates, employees, etc)? How do they spend their money?  How do they deal with anger; their own anger and their reaction to someone else’s anger?

    ·        Responsibility: A responsible person has stability in their finances, relationships, job, and character.  You can you rely on this person and trust what they say.

    ·        Happiness: A happy person is content with their portion in life. They feel good about themselves and good about their life. They focus on what they have rather than on what they don’t have.  They very rarely complain.

    3) Do Not Neglect The  Emotional Needs of Your Partner:  Both men and women have emotional needs and in order for a partnership to be successful those needs must be mutually met. The fundamental emotional need of a woman is to be loved.  The fundamental emotional need of a man is to be respected and appreciated.  To make a woman feel loved give her the three AAAs:  Attention, Affection, & Appreciation.  To make a man feel loved give him the three RRRs:  Respect, Reassurance, & Relief.  It is the obligation of each partner to make sure the other is happy and this extends to intimacy as well. As long as each partner is fulfilled by the emotional needs of the other, the intimate relationship will thrive.  When a man takes seriously the emotional needs of his wife she will feel more encouraged to fulfill his sexual desires. Likewise, when a woman takes seriously the emotional needs of her husband he will feel more encouraged to give her the affection, love and appreciation she wants from him. Working together in this way encourages both giving and receiving.

    4) Avoid Opposing Life Plans:  In marriage you can either grow together or grow apart. Sharing a common purpose in life will increase the chance that you will grow together.

    ·        You must know what the person is into. In other words, what are they ultimately passionate about?  Then ask yourself, “Do I respect this passion?” “Do I respect what they are into?”

    ·        The more specifically you define yourself, i.e., your values, your beliefs, your lifestyle, the better chance you have of finding your life partner, your soul mate, the one you are most compatible with.

    ·        Remember, before you decide who to take along on a trip, you should first figure out your destination.

    5) Avoid Pre-Marital Sexual/Physical Activity:

    ·        Recognize that there is incredible wisdom in why God has ordered us to refrain from intimacy before marriage; they are to prevent great harms as well as to keep sacred what is the most blessed part of a relationship between a man and a woman.

    ·        Aside from the obvious spiritual consequences, when a relationship gets physical before its time, important issues like character, life philosophy, and compatibility go to the wayside. Consequently, everything is romanticized and it becomes difficult to even remember the important issues let alone talk about them.

    ·        Intellectual commitment must be established before emotional or sexual commitment.

    6) Avoid Lack of Emotional Connection:  There are four questions that you must answer YES to:

    ·        Do I respect and admire this person?  What specifically do I respect and admire about this person?

    ·        Do I trust this person?  Can I rely on them?  Do I trust their judgment?  Do I trust their word? Can I believe what they say?

    ·        Do I feel Safe?  Do I feel emotionally safe with this person?  Can I be vulnerable?  Can I be myself?  Can I be open?  Can I express myself?

    ·        Do I feel calm and at peace with this person?

    If the answer is “I don’t know, I’m not sure, etc.” keep evaluating until you know for sure and truly understand how you feel. If you don’t feel safe now, you won’t feel safe when you are married.  If you don’t trust now, this won’t change when you are married!

    7) Pay Attention to Your Own Emotional Anxiety: Choosing someone you don’t feel safe with emotionally is not a good recipe for a long-lasting and loving marriage.  Feeling emotionally safe is the foundation of a strong and healthy marriage.  When you don’t feel safe, you can’t express your feelings and opinions.  Learn how to identify whether you are in an abusive relationship.  If you feel you always have to monitor what you say, if you are with someone and you feel you can’t really express yourself and are always walking on eggshells, then it’s very likely you are in an abusive relationship.  Look for the following things:

    ·        Controlling behavior: This includes controlling the way you act, the way you think, the way you dress, the way you wear your hair/hijab and the way you spend your time.  Know the difference between suggestions and demands.  Demands are an expression of control and if the demands are implied, than you must do it or there will be consequences. All of these are clear indications of abusive personalities.

    ·        Anger issues: This is someone who raises their voice on a regular basis, who is angry, gets angry at you, uses anger against you, uses put downs, and curses at you, etc.  You don’t have to put up with this type of treatment.  Many people who tolerate this behavior usually come from abusive backgrounds.  If this is the case with you or someone you know, get help right away.  Deal with those issues before getting married or before even thinking about getting married.

    Beware of Lack of Openness In Your Partner:  Many couples make the mistake of not putting everything on the table for discussion from the onset.  Ask yourself, “What do I need to know to be absolutely certain I want to marry this person?” “What bothers me about this person or the relationship?”  It’s very important to identify what’s bothering you, things that concern you, and things you are afraid to bring up for discussion. Then you must have an honest discussion about them. This is a great way to test the strength of your relationship. Bringing up issues when there’s conflict is a great opportunity to really evaluate how well you communicate, negotiate, and work together as a team.  When people get into power struggles and blame each other, it’s an indication they don’t work well as a team.  Also important is being vulnerable around each other. Ask deep questions of each other and see how your partner responds.  How do they handle it?  Are they defensive?  Do they attack?  Do they withdraw?  Do they get annoyed?  Do they blame you?  Do they ignore it?  Do they hide or rationalize it?  Don’t just listen to what they say but watch for how they say it!

    9) Beware of Avoiding Personal Responsibility: It’s very important to remember no one else is responsible for your happiness. Many people make the mistake of thinking someone else will fulfill them and make their life better and that’s their reason for getting married.  People fail to realize that if they are unhappy as a single person, they will continue to be miserable when they are married.  If you are currently not happy with yourself, don’t like yourself, don’t like the direction your life is going now, it’s important to take responsibility for that now and work on improving those areas of your life before considering marriage.  Don’t bring these issues into your marriage and hope your partner will fix them.

    10) Watch Out For Lack of Emotional Health and Availability In Your Potential Partner:  Many people choose partners that are not emotionally healthy or available. One huge problem is when a partner is unable to balance the emotional ties to family members, the marriage ends up having 3 (or more) people in it rather than two. An example of this would be if a man is overly dependent on his mother and brings that relationship into the marriage; this is no doubt a recipe for disaster.  Also important to consider are the following:

    ·        Avoid people who are emotionally empty inside.  These include people who don’t like themselves because they lack the ability to be emotionally available. They are always preoccupied with their deficiencies, insecurities, and negative thoughts.  They are in a perpetual fight with depression, never feel good, are isolated, are critical and judgmental; tend to not have any close friends, and often distrust people or are afraid of them.  Another clear indication about them is they always feel their needs are not getting met; they have a sense of entitlement and feel angry when they feel people should take care of them and they don’t.  They feel burdened by other people’s needs and feel resentment towards them.  These people can not be emotionally available to build healthy relationships.

    ·        Addictions can also limit the level of availability of the partner to build a strong emotional relationship.  Never marry an addict.  Addictions are not limited to drugs and alcohol.  They can be about addictions and dependency on work, internet, hobbies, sports, shopping, money, power, status, materialism, etc.  When someone has an addiction, they will not and can not be emotionally available to develop an intimate relationship with you!

    Additional Points to Consider:

    1.      The fact is no one looks 25 forever.  Ultimately, we love the person we marry for more than their appearance.  When we get to know someone we love and admire, we’ll love them for their inner beauty and overall essence.

    2.      Once we find someone, we consciously or subconsciously want so badly for it all to work that we decide not to question or see what is clearly in front of our eyes: they were rude to the waiter, speaks ill of others, is rude to you, etc.  We don’t stop to ask, “What does all of this mean about their character?”

    3.      Never separate someone from their family, background, education, belief system, etc.  Asking clear questions can clarify this.  Ask questions like, “What does it mean to have a simple lifestyle?” “What are your expectations of marriage?”  “How would you help around the house?” Compare your definition with theirs.

    4.      Be flexible.  Be open-minded!

    5.      Giving in a happy marriage should not be confused with martyrdom.  It should be about taking pleasure and seeing the other person as happy because of your connection with them.

    6.      Morality and spirituality are the qualities that truly define someone in addition to beauty, money, and health.  The morally upright and spiritual person will stand by your side during adversity and hardship.  If someone isn’t God-conscience and doesn’t take themselves into account with God then why should you expect them to fulfill their rights owed to you? The ideal partner is someone who considers giving a gain and not causing a loss.  Having a mutual and shared spiritual relationship will foster a successful marriage.  Furthermore, a successful marriage is one that keeps the laws of family purity which require a certain degree of self-control and self-discipline, as well as the belief that the physical side of the relationship includes the spiritual and emotional side as well.  Finding commonality and balance between the spiritual and emotional aspects of a relationship is a strong key to a healthy and thriving marriage.

  8. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to ShiaMan14 in Best Professional Advice You've Received   
    I was fortunate enough to have a mentor when I started my professional life. I went to him a couple of times with some work problems and he said, "(ShiaMan) - don't come to me with problems; come to me with solutions. When you come to me with problems, after a couple of times I will cringe every time I see you because I will automatically think you have a problem. But you come to me with a solutions to problem, all of a sudden you become the answer guy or the guy who solves problems, not creates them"
    This was the best, professional advice I received and it really works.
    What's the best business/professional advice you've received?
  9. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to notme in Best Professional Advice You've Received   
    That's great. 
    Best career advice I got came from one of my bosses: "There is always a solution. It's our job to find it. Usually there is more than one. We gotta find the best one for our project and our client."
  10. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to Martyrdom in Best Professional Advice You've Received   
    Many but one that comes to mind is when the district manager once told that "sometimes the longer way is the shorter way" . At first I was like what the hell does that mean but after it marinated a little bit I realized what he meant.
  11. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to ShiaMan14 in Best Professional Advice You've Received   
    This is my advice to my team and my mentee (similar to @notme). I say this to my family as well:
    "It's only a problem if there is no solution and there is always a solution"
  12. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to saas in Best Professional Advice You've Received   
    We always hear good advice from family, friends and professional circles but can't recall anything that stands out. If a movie, ''Coach Cater", passes as a mentor, this one does it for me!
    "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure"
  13. Like
    aliyah21 got a reaction from notme in University questions   
    From reading your post, to me, it seems like you already know what you want to do, but it's the living arrangements/accommodations that are making you second guess your decision. I personally don't think it's that big of a deal having to work part time while in University. it may seem daunting if you've never worked before but keep in mind the majority of students do work one or two part time jobs; it's just a matter of balancing school with your other commitments. Plus you'll have work experience to add onto your resume. Like you mentioned there are so many opportunities you'd be missing if you stayed in your hometown. If you go to this out of state University and the experience isn't what you thought it would be, at least you can take it as a learning experience and transfer back to the school in your hometown if that plan doesn't work. On the other hand, if you don't even take the chance of going, won't you always be wondering "what if?" and regretting your lost opportunities? 
    Seems like you you already know what you want to do; you just need a push.
  14. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to Brained in University questions   
    I faced the exact same dilemma when it came to choosing universities, except that the other city is 24 hours away by train.
    The real question is this: Would a solid base and support provided by your parents be of greater assistance in helping you grow or would you be better off learning on your own. 
    The first step is a cost-benefits analysis. The thing to take note of is the difference in educational standards, not simply a change of environment. How different are the two options? Will going to option 2 result in a significantly better outcome?  Not simply in terms of "new place/more excitement/not dull" but actual gains like better social connections, better faculty, labs, facilities etc? 
    Have you observed the "Muslim culture" you want to become a part of? Is it really that good? Because the grass only appears greener on the other side. In my case the trade-off would not have been worth it; hostel life isn't really that great, especially if you have to work part-time. Have you visited this university? Met with students there? Are your ideas motivated by desire or evidence?
    How bad is the local option? And in what terms?
    A change in environment could help you grow as an individual; learning to be independent is really important and could all be worth it. But it'll require self-regulation and motivation on a daily basis. A lot of students I know, far from home, appear unable to take advantage of the freedom on offer. They spend their days shuttling between classes and dorm, with nothing else to do. Make sure you don't become one of them.
    You're the best person to answer these questions. 
  15. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to Anonymous in University questions   
    Salam, Hope you are doing well. 
    I have had several months to think about my 2 options regarding uni, however I still havent come to a conclusion. My mind seems to be in a state of war at the moment, because both options have their pros and cons. I have no idea which one will benefit me more in the longterm. Iam scared of choosing an option and then regretting it later on. Its all I think about these days and the more I think, the more I get confused. 
    Here are the two options available for me : 
    1. Go to the Univeristy that's in my town and keep living at home. 
    2. Move to a different city so I can study at a Uni that I really want to go to. 
    1st option : 
     less living costs. my parents would not have to worry about me living alone in a different city. So they'll be much happier if I go for the first option.  Cons
      I am getting fed up of living in this boring town and It makes me sad/demotivated even thinking about spending another 3 years of my life here. 
    2nd option :
     I will be a much happier person living in a city of my choice and studying there. It will also give me a nice change from my current enviroment/routine(which has become repetitive and dull.) it will allow me to become more independant and mature.   There will also be alot of muslims in that uni so It will give me a sense of belonging. (which is not the case for my first option)  Cons 
    living costs will be high . So I will have to work part-time and  I might also have to keep asking for money from my parents.   my parents are not comfortable with the idea of me living in halls of residence at the Uni I want to go to. So if I choose the 2nd option, they will be renting a room for me in a muslim family's house who they can trust. However the search for this alternative accomodation will be quite a hassle. (Because it's an hour drive to that city and there aren't many accommodations available for muslim students near the uni I wanna go to).  Any opinions/advice will be much appreciated.
  16. Like
    aliyah21 got a reaction from B313fadlallah in Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]   
    A friend posted this on FB: 
    When I saw you I was like, "Mashallah!"
    Then I wanted you and I was like, "Inshallah!"
    But then I paid closer attention and I was like, "Subhanallah!"
    I got to know you and I was like, "Astghfurallah!"
    So since I left you I was like, "ALHAMDULILAAH!"
  17. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to Marbles in Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]   
  18. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to LeftCoastMom in Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]   
    The Purrsistence of Memory

  19. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to LeftCoastMom in Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]   
  20. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to LeftCoastMom in Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]   
  21. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to hasanhh in Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]   
    I'd have guessed it was a lithium car battery.
  22. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to von Lohengramm in Any good latmiyat?   
    Here are a few.
    Also consider purchasing the Tejani Brothers' new album, "Hussaini" from iTunes - it's amazing.
  23. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to hasanhh in Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]   
    From Bob Newhart
    "I am just the company psychologist. Why does everyone bring me their problems? "
  24. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to hasanhh in Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]   
    Another Milton Berle:
    If rocket scientists are so smart, why do they always count backwards?
  25. Like
    aliyah21 reacted to Sirius_Bright in Poor Jokes [OFFICIAL THREAD]   
    I replaced my shoelace with my headphone wires...Now they entangle themselves.
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