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In the Name of God بسم الله


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  1. I dropped really good hints that kind of did suggest that I was interested. I told him I liked talking to him in the sense that I enjoyed his company I used to always ask him to talk to me for longer when we had conversations over the phone The only thing that lead to istekhara was my shyness. Because this was my first time, I was pretty unaware of how much someone should discuss with a guy about marriage. I mean we discussed future plans and everything that could be taken into consideration when talking to a potential spouse, and then as you become more sure of each other you share more s
  2. Sometimes it doesn't hurt if a woman intrudes does it? So I as a girl am going to also voice my opinion. I am of marriageable age and I can say one thing for sure, for men looks matter a LOT. He won't even try and get to know you if you don't look good and equally for a woman looks matter (in a different way I assume). From personal experience: This was about two years ago: My mother had asked me to go down the road and buy a few things so I put on a chaadar and went. I come back home and my mom asked me "what are you wearing underneath that chaadar" so I lift my chaadar and I'm just wear
  3. Forgive people instead of wishing bad on them. I know it's hard but I think you're making it harder to forgive them by trying to take revenge. You can pray to Allah to help you and give you the heart to forgive
  4. I know how you feel. I am in such a position where I am too attached and I don't know how to un attach
  5. Salaams If this sister loved you truly she would never let you go. I know it's easy for us to say. Sometimes you just need to accept things and pray. I knoe exactly how you feel, when you want someone in your life but they choose to leave and you do all you can to cling on to them. It's hard but you just got to accept it. Not giving you any false hopes or anything but I can understand that you're in a bad situation ao what I am doing in this situation which is not as bad as yours because I haven't been told anythjng as such but I am just praying to Allah to get me that person so when I do get
  6. Salaams. I just want to say that with stress comes ease. Allah tests those whom He loves. And like you and many others, even I have faced hardship and feel the best comfort comes when you cry to Allah. Read what I have posted below. Might make you feel better because it made me feel better. Let us start off our week with some words of guidance and contemplation given to us by the Gate of Knowledge, Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib (as). First, it would be wise to remind ourselves that, "Like our bodies, our minds get tired. So refresh your minds with wise sayings." - Imam Ali (as). The Imam (as) gives
  7. Thank you so much for your response. I appreciate it. I shall pray to Allah to do what is best for the man himself and for me :)
  8. LOL that is a possibility. I don't know. I'd rather prefer honesty. But I can be 100% that an istekhara did take place. I am sure of that. I can only pray for the best now. Thank you so much for your advice! I personally now feel that I would be against doing istekhara for anything taking into account how much this istekhara has affected me. I just wish we got more time to know each other. I think it was just the pressure on him to make a decision that lead to the istekhara. Yep, that is true. Marriage is a big decision but then again you cannot base a marriage solely on an istekhara. I
  9. Salaams. Best advice, recite the dua of istekhara. Don't do it using the Qur'an or Tasbih
  10. I am on the receiving end of a 'bad' istekhara so I know how you feel. I have NEVER in my life relied on an istekhara although once there came a point where I had to make a painful decision and I did ask my dad if I could do an istekhara and he just looked at me and said "no" so I used my logic and intellect and trust me when I say I DO NOT REGRET THAT DECISION I feel that we should look up to our Imams and Prophets and learn from them. They never did istekhara for marriage so why should we? My question to many people out there would be, if istekhara is so much prescribed in Islam why do so m
  11. Nope I would love to discuss future plans with my husband-to-be. Especially with how to bring up children as husband and wife must not clash on such important aspects of their lives which is their children I think any wise woman would actually understand what you're getting at and would express her point of view to you too
  12. And I wanted to add: I have told my parents about it and they suggested that I should pray. Allah can do miracles!
  13. I have something to say. I think a woman should PURSUE and tell a man if she wishes to marry him. I.e lets take ME, a living example. I got an amazing proposal for marriage. Talked to the guy but did not express my likeness for him. He expressed it frequently and me being a shy and well mannered girl felt I should wait for him to say yes to marriage, then I will say yes. THAT BACKFIRED ON ME! He got confused. Pressure was on him to make a decision. He didn't know what to do. He did istekhara. It came bad. His decision is made. After the istekhara I told him how I felt and he said "you s
  14. No it's not hijab! I myself am someone who started wearing hijab at the age of 18. Started off with just scarf. Slowly slowly started wearing a shawl over my clothes especially mosque clothes because they were so attractive. Hijab is not about covering your hair! I don't get girls these days. They have a scarf on their head and wear amazing clothes, tonnes of make up, attract attention and their bra shows through their see through tops and then they say they are HIJABI? Ok feel good about yourself, put make up on and all, but at the same time look decent! We are women!!! The more you make your
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