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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by Zeynab-europe

  1. Isn't it more than self-understanding that ANY kind of intercourse must be consented to by the wife? Otherwise we call it rape. It would have been nice if neutral.sage had given any foundation for his "scientific/biological" statements. If he had paid any attention in biology class, he'd know that VDs are transmitted only if one of the partners is carrying it. And I'm really curious what specific diseases would be transferred by oral sex that cannot be transferred by other forms of intercourse.
  2. Then who does get the house and the land etcetera, if not the wife? Does this mean that the wife has no claim on the house she lived in with her husband, and could be force to move by whoever does inherit the house? Can the husband make a will to give his wife a larger share or (some of) these material goods? In Dutch law, the longest-lived partner and the children all get a share, but the children's claim is postponed until the longest-lived partner dies. This is to make sure the longest-lived partner doesn't have to sell the house or other valuables because the children want their share of i
  3. Squat, definitely. Where I live, bending is associated with sex. Could this "shame" thing that apparently is on in Syria have something to do with squatting being the position used at the toilet? Then you may consider kneeling on one knee rather than squatting?
  4. If you feel that you're on the same mental level and she really wants to get married, why not? Does she plan to go to college? (which is perfectly combinable with marriage, here speaks someone who knows) Please do make sure you have the same plans and expectations for at least the next 10 years.
  5. It's an oldie, but still a very strong one... Don't take your organs to heaven, heaven knows we need them here!
  6. Doesn't matter. Issue comes up especially if parents are divorced of course. Even if they pay alimentation. A close friend of mine had this dispute with her ex husband (islamic, never legal marriage) over getting a passport for their toddler son. the namard had effectively made her passport with her son's subscription in it disappear when she had fled the house from his violence, and now he'd refuse to sign for a passport for the boy himself. This was quite an issue, until she was told at the city hall that the father had actually no legal authority over the child, even though he had acknowled
  7. Oh my, you guys really rescuscitated this ancient thread, which was ridiculous from the beginning? And actually are SERIOUS about this all over again?
  8. Don't forget legal representation and the custody on children! If you have no formal registration of your relationship, either marriage or cohabiting contract, you're no more than accidental flatmates to the law. So even, Allah forbid, one of you should end up unconscious in an ICU, the other wouldn't have legal representation and any other family member's say would prevail over yours. If you don't have any kind of registration, the father won't be considered a legal representative of his child, even if he has acknowledged it and the child carries his name. Just some things to think of...
  9. As for the topic: well as many above said, it's a terrible thing that has happened to this girl against her will, and does NOT NOT NOT I repeat NOT affect her chastity in any way! So it shouldn't be any issue to her candidates, and those in the community who know should KEEP THEIR MOUTHS SHUT! And in the subcontinent the boys and their aunties just need to put their cultural bias aside. However, what the girl has experienced will bring "issues" into the bedroom, and the groom should not only know where these issues come from, but also he will need a lot of patience, understanding and love to
  10. It depends on how culturally stuck he is. If his parents keep telling him that he first needs so-and-so much money and a house and a car and I don't know what else, that might be a real issue for him. But islamically there's no need for him to be rich first. We were both students when we married, living on student scholarships and small side jobs, money came much much later. If he means that he has to find a way to clear his large debts (depending on how he got them obviously), that would be quite a different story. It's very unwise to marry a man who is irresponsible with money.
  11. Sure? I've always read that bibi Khadijah (as) had married and become war widow twice before (and had children with at least the first husband and maybe the second too) before marrying the prophet (as)... just one source: http://www.al-islam.org/biographies/khadija.htm
  12. Most simple solution is to use the unimprinted side...
  13. I have always learned that you need to state your niyyat: you take wudhu with the intention of "qurbatan illalah ta'alah" (obeying/pleasing Allah)
  14. What's wrong with seeking comfort in your partner's warm and gentle body, especially when your mind is full of grief and sorrow and you've had an emotional evening away from each other? I really don't see the contradiction here.
  15. Thanks a lot! I'm stuck in a forum debate with a particularly stubborn sunni brother, who (after discussing with him for several days now) I think does definately qualify as "fool". So I wanted to use this when it becomes too annoying.
  16. Thanks a lot brother. Do you (or anyone else) have the sermon numer in Nahjul Balagha it appears in? Or another quotable source? Much appreciated!
  17. Sex is something too beautiful and valuable to handle like this. If you go out and have sex with this woman, it will become something unrelated to love for you, and it will never be as special. Believe me, it's worth to save it for someone you actually feel for.
  18. Salam aleikum, Could anyone help me with the hadith, which if I remember well was by Imam Ali, about it being pointless to discuss with a fool? I can't find it through the search function, also because I don't remember the exact wordings. Thanks a lot!
  19. Salaam sis, Actually, I'm an MD. So I would dare to say I'm far from clueless about my own body and what could go wrong with it. My opinion about maybe never getting the PAP smear is a personal one, but also from a professional perspective I would NOT recommend those yearly check-ups. Do you have any data proving that such frequent check-ups bring a health benefit to the general, healthy population? (compared to much less stringent population investigations) Do they give a lower cancer mortality, for example? Do you know how much financial cost and emotional harm a false alarm gives? A dentis
  20. Now every girl here.... SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! A boy has entered our girlie room! Ali.... OUT! NOW!
  21. PAP-smears are done for cervix cancer caused by human papilloma virus, which at that place of your body is sexually transmitted. Thus, I don't really see the point of getting pap smears when you're a virgin anyway. In my country pap smears are only done routinely every five years in women over 35 years old. I don't assume you're a 35-year-old virgin, do you? My advise? Forget about the papsmear if you are under 30 and virgin. For me personally, with my hubs and me being each other's first and only, I may skip them altogether even when I get older. And I sure don't see the point of getting t
  22. Salam! As for me, I wouldn´t really want to know. Keeping it a surprise until birth. But if I happen to see it during the 20-week ultrasound (which is routine in my country to be able to anticipate at problems later on) that would be fine by me too. However, my daughters will have to find out during pregnancy. As my husband has haemophilia (an X-linked bleeding disorder), my daughters will be carriers of the gene. As for their children, girls would be fine, but boys have a 50% risk of having the disease, and would have to be born in a university hospital.
  23. 1. in principle, endlessly. The pharma companies are even marketing some pills for this purpose, but those pills are hardly any different from the normal pills. some women, however, find this uncomfortable, the body may be withholding fluids leading to a swollen feeling and abdominal discomfort, and you may still experience unpredictable spotting or light bleeding. 2. no, no problem at all. 3/4. For young women, the chances of getting the severe side effects (the different types of thrombosis) are very very slim. That's why the pill is generally considered safe: 3x chance on a very very very
  24. Ali Fazel, all the historical (non)items and accusations you dig up without any trace of nuance, (boy, haven't you heard of propaganda? You have it smeared all over you) what do they have to do with the Daniels and Ruth's in your class today? How are they part of all this, so why would you hate THEM as well? "is it possible to treat them as human beings" you ask, well as the granddaughter of people who resisted the Nazis I'd say you are in desperate need a good history lesson, to see what this exact train of thought has led to. Do you really believe it's in their nature to hate you? Because it
  25. That's true Smiley. They say a man's love goes through his stomach, but that definately goes for us women too... if you want to make your lady feel special, prepare her a meal! If you prepare us overcooked macaroni, we find your efforts very very cute.... If you prepare us a "standard" meal of say, rice and veggies, we enjoy and prize your mother for teaching you. If you prepare us a "haute cuisine" meal in a well-arranged setting, well, that's the key to getting from us whatever you need... (within islamic boundaries, hihi) So what are you guys waiting for, get in the kitchen!
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