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In the Name of God بسم الله

Livia

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Everything posted by Livia

  1. UPDATE: I'd like to update y'all...so I did just hear from my friend..she's saying Hello and asking me how I was doing in terms of my illness. She actually wished me well. And wants me to seek treatment in the US when she visits so that she'll be there for me! I'm really surprised and grateful at the same time. I hadn't expected this from her, honestly, because of the hurtful things she has done & said to me...I guess she feels it wasn't right her behaviour...I feel that she wants to keep our friendship & I've truly forgiven her. I really want to apologize to any asians on this site if anything I said was offensive or hurtful...I take back all that I've said & also about her...Being ill and having your best close friend desert u during ur hardships is very disappointing & upsetting..I guess I've said mean things out of being truly hurt & heart-broken by her...I know for 100% that asians are good-hearted, friendly, & polite people. Honestly speaking, she was the only Asian I ever met who behaved the way she did...But I was wrong to judge based on one person.
  2. I'll tell u why. Because she denied all of the times I've gone out of my way to help her and did her favours for 7 years. Not once did she acknowledge this during our argument. No thanks or appreciation. When I reminded her she brushed it off. But she made it a point to tell me about all the gifts she's given me through out the years. And how that makes her the "greatest friend in the world". But I was not. Why does her petty gifts matter but my helping her doesn't? It's bad enough she's never done a single thing for me. And one of her "gifts" was some of her hand-me-down worn clothes. I didn't accept them, I found it very offensive. It's been a condescending friendship for me. She thinks that as long as she gives gifts, it's fine to step on her friends.
  3. so I've just gotten an idea...guys pls tell me if its good. I'm thinking of sending her back most (if not all) of her gifts that she gave me from a long time. Also including the cost of her family's graduation dinner...I know this is low but I think it's the only thing that'll make me feel better now. I don't want her above me in any way. she'll not treat me like 2nd class just cuz of some presents & a dinner. My shoes are on top of her head. I believe sending back her gifts will make her understand this.
  4. Ok as you're saying it's cultural differences. But I think that helping a friend is more significant than petty gifts. It's not all about gifts. What such a superficial culture! I did let her know this. I told her friendship is not all about gifts and that she's never given a hand to me. This really offended her and made it an excuse to distance herself from me.
  5. no no no..pls don't get any such haram ideas. the only feelings I have now is anger at being treated as such and taken advantage of..as well as being lied to. all this from someone whom I have shown nothing but kindness to. just because a sister is upset from a female friend after many years of doing good to her & her family it's normal. especially when that sister has always given a helping hand. any sister in my place would be angry too. I was also kind to her family too, not just her. and fyi she is the one who showed me extra 'friendly' emotions in the beginning and always giving me gifts & telling me nice words..I thought she was gay at first & I was careful with her until I realised she wasn't. she just had a hard time studying here & needed someone to 'help' her. why I want to offend her? cuz she's insulted me a few times too but made it a joke.
  6. thanks. But so what exactly is the cultural misunderstanding?
  7. ok I see what ur saying. yes...it's my only chance to give her that bitter taste...but that's if she'll even care...honestly folks sometimes I think its not going to affect her at all. she's taken what she wanted from me & used me till the end of the rope. why should me slapping her matter to her now? she'll probably just brush it off. another thing is that she could resend me the gift to my us address. as a way to say she doesn't want anything from me. I'll be the one getting slapped, not her.
  8. thanks...but going by what others have posted here, it's pretty obvious this person doesn't want any new beginnings. And neither do I, frankly I'm disgusted like no tomorrow. I can't even one look in her face. but I see what ur saying..
  9. thanks for ur kind words...do u think it's worth it to mail her the gift or only a card? cuz then there's no way that she'll know I was there and didn't acknowledge her "royal highness". And I really want to let her know this. It's the only way I can send her a slap
  10. Ok I see what ur saying. but she never led me to un-Islamic behaviour to tell truth....she acted like she likes & respects Islam...don’t know if that too was fake...
  11. Aren't they Sunni? Why would have trouble with neighboring Sunni countries?
  12. I know I probably shouldn't but the urge to send her a slap that would hurt her is very strong with me right now. No she's korean but Christian. I don't think if she was Muslim that she would do that
  13. I want to include a short letter with my gift. Something that will hurt her..I want to tell her that her ex-husband who left her for another woman made the right decision. what do u guys think?
  14. it doesn't necessarily mean that they are all nice...I've had my fair share of their greediness and selfishness
  15. thanks...u reminded me of how *super* nice she was in the beginning. always giving me gifts & buying dinners for me...why would anyone spend so much on a friend they don't care about?? that's what made me fall into the trap. No, I don't think about her so much. It's only that I don't know if to contact her when I go to her country. I plan to go soon that's the thing.
  16. thnx 4 ur advice. she's never done a single favour for me. the one time she did a really small favour I felt like she did it against her will. but kept a fake face the whole time. I honestly just don’t know what to do. part of me wants to contact her when I go. but another part of me really wants to slap her in the face & let her know I was in her country and didn't give a **** about her...I need to give her the gift though cuz I don't want her to think she has anything above me. the thing is my family don't know whats going on btw us..they still think we're good friends (I've not tell them)..so they expect me to come back with pics of us 2...its going to be embarrassing to not have any pics
  17. thanks for ur advice. but what do u mean she 'got a little too comfortable'? I understand u saying she was using me. also so u don't suggest I contact her at all when in her country?
  18. Hi all, I'm going to make a long story short...let's just say I had this friend for 6 years and we were best friends. I knew her from graduate school and she was in the US temporarily to study. she's from an Asian country. I really thought she was a 'true' friend and truly cared about me and I was always grateful. but sometimes I felt that she has a superiority-complex and kind of self-centered like she only cares about herself .... I thought maybe I'm misunderstanding cuz of differences in culture. for 6 years, I was a great friend to her..always helping her whenever I can.....she always asked me for favours to do her & I always agreed. that's cuz I thought she was my best friend. In grad school I really helped her a lot guys and I never had a issue cuz I know her english is bad and she's not from the US. But after she finished grad school, I feel like she became a different person. I felt like I'm seeing her true face...one time she went to visit her country & came back to the US a year later. she asked me to do her a really big favour while in her country & I agreed. But when she came back, gosh I was really shocked! her manners and behaviour towards me changed. it's like she doesn't feel the need to "pretend" anymore. But then at the same time she still kept contacting me & wanting to meet me and buying dinners and stuff. she tried to show me that she was still my friend. but during that time guys she really offended me several times and I felt like being insulted..also I felt like she just didn't care about me. when I asked her for a very simple favour (I really needed help) she refused to help me. I was shocked guys especially after all that I've done for her! then I opened up honestly with her and we had a long talk. I told her how I feel and that I'm disappointed in her. I was honest the whole time and told her everything...she kept apologising and swearing to God that she never meant to insult/offend me on purpose. that she thought she was my best friend and thought she was doing good to me. she never ended our friendship or said anything about breaking up. only told me she hoped our friendship will be stronger. but when she left the US shes been distancing herself from me. I still emailed her for holidays & she replied back but she has never sent me an email first asking me how I was or anything. nothing at all like she doesn't want to talk to me. now I've been pretty ill for the past 2 years and she knows that...I plan to visit her country soon (for medical treatment, not for her). she kind of knows I'm going to visit and told me she can help me with anything. that she's my friend and will be there for me. I want to give her a small gift for something (to payback something). But I don't plan to ask her for any help. When I visit her country, guys do u think I should contact her? let her know before that I'm visiting or after I leave? I can just mail the gift to her address but I don't know if she'll accept it...and if I go & don't contact her I worry it will make me look like a very low person. I don't want to be a low-mannered. what should I do guys?
  19. posting embarassing videos now means 'opposition'? i don't see it that way.
  20. what i mean? I meant has it really come to this?? such lunacy that ppl cant distinguish fantasy from reality...this only gives muslims a bad name. the only ppl who made a mockery r themselves. may Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى protect us inshAllah!
  21. replying to u & the op as well....first who said that saudi or emirate royal families r even muslims?? these cronies do not qualify as muslim..neither do any president or royal family in all the middle east..
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