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In the Name of God بسم الله


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  1. Like
  2. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to King in Being Socially Awkward   
    It is normal, when you go to university you will learn to navigate around such situations better.  It is just a matter of more exposure.
  3. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to ireallywannaknow in Being Socially Awkward   
    Socially awkward people are cute ^.^ Don't worry you'll be fine, as long as you have your small group of friends, that's all you need. I'm awkward too and I'm always overthinking everything I want to say. But I'm grateful I'm not someone who is constantly running her mouth. I've come to like being quiet and reserved. 
  4. My Prayers
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to 3wliya_maryam in Being Socially Awkward   
    salam alaikum everyone hope you are all well inshallah
    I was wondering if anyone is or has been socially awkward around people or strangers, how were you able to deal with it
    The thing with me is that I find it quite difficult to talk to people that I barely know, I stay quiet, I don't what to say and sometimes worry that i might say something wrong, or that doesn't make any sense.
    Especially when visitors come over, god I get so shy and awkward, especially when an iraqi lady would come over, like I'd stay quiet the whole time unless she asks me a question and when I answer I feel like I'm not making sense because my iraqi arabic is kinda broken lols, so I just keep smiling and nodding
    The thing is i understand when they speak, I just don't know how to respond but most of the times my mother responds to their questions which isn't good tbh
    like thats how shy i am
    People see me as this really quiet person, but at home im the complete opposite lol, I'm like the loudest one in my family
    Really it depends where I am and who I am with, for instance, if I'm around my close friends and then someone that I don't know well comes and joins in the convo or something I would become a bit more confident and start talking, 
    I'm the type of person who doesn't make alot of friends, I prefer having few friends since yano u can't trust that much ppl anymore
    I feel like its also because I haven't been out that much seeing friends and people, so it has also kinda had an impact on me too
    And sometimes I kinda worry going to uni inshallah, what would it be like since confidence is like such a huge thing when it comes to going there
    has anyone ever been in these kind of situations? what did you do to overcome it?
    fee amanillah  
  5. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Murtaza1 in Sister cheated on her husband   
    I totally agree with you. It certainly seems a bit creepy for him to talk to her about it. 
  6. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Soldiers and Saffron in Sister cheated on her husband   
    It is most certainty not appropriate for him to talk to you in private or over the phone. There are thousands of males, sheikhs, who can inform him about all of this. I cannot phantom how anyone here would recommend you to keep talking to him, is there a lack of males on planet earth with the knowledge of Islam?
    If a man who had already demonstrated a lack of moral compass dealing with women was in my near proximity I would keep my daughters as far away as I possibly could from him.
    If he is too lazy to find males who can help him with the information that is already online at his service, you could reefer him to a male sheikh, there is really no rational reason for you in particular to talk to him. I would personally not want anything to do with him nor my sister if she cheated on her husband. I hope this does not come out to your community because if your not married (and I assume your not since a husband would not be okay with you talking to him) it could severely affect your chances of getting married as well. I would personally not want to marry into a family that raised a daughter who cheated on her husband and then the parents asked the cheating man who slept with another mans wife to talk to the other daughter as well.
    This is what you should do in my opinion:
    Tell your parents you do not wish to be involved in this mess. Refer the guy to a sheikh or islamically knowledgeable male for his questions regarding deen. Value your personal reputation and dignity and try to protect your families reputation and dignity as well to the best of your ability and never forsake amr bil maroof wa nahi anil munkar.
  7. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from .InshAllah. in #49 Does the Muslim World Need More Philosophers or Scientists?   
    'More' in the sense that more than the numbers we have presently. Not more of one at the expense of the other.
    I would prefer going with philosophers, because, in the present situation, Islam faces the greatest ideological challenge and existential threat from colonial and post- colonial modernity, dealing with which requires a deeper epistemological engagement with it. This is a task for which we need more philosophers and social scientists.
  8. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to notme in #49 Does the Muslim World Need More Philosophers or Scientists?   
    Less than six hundred years ago, the two were the same. 
    Definitely we need more scientists. Both are important, but for every 100 scientists making new discoveries and working to understand phenomena, only one philosopher is needed to communicate that science into a spiritual or moral "reality" that the public can relate to. 
    However, scientists need to have at least a basic understanding of philosophy, and scientific philosophers need to have at least an intermediate understanding of science. 
  9. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to notme in Thoughts 2018   
    You can learn more from books or from actual doing than you can from getting papers certifying that you learned such-and-such. If your goal is knowledge, there is little benefit to advanced degrees. If your goal is to become a university professor, it is necessary. 
  10. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from notme in Thoughts 2018   
    Academia operates like a drug cartel, and higher education is overrated.
  11. Partially Agree
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from hasanhh in Thoughts 2018   
    Academia operates like a drug cartel, and higher education is overrated.
  12. Haha
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Thoughts 2018   
    Is it just me, or are there other brothers too,who see the slimy, lovey-dovey,photos that some married/engaged friends of their's post on Facebook, and feel like writing (EDITED) in the comments section, but by a superhuman act of self- control, don't?
    PS- Indian and Pakistani brothers, feel free to use your creative imagination to fill in the blank!
  13. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to realizm in New Caliph Coming Soon   
    Funny thing is that amongst wahabis you find a hardcore trend who hate murjis (`ulamas of the palace) and do takfir on them, while claiming Yazid, Mu`awiya (la) and the great Abu Hurayra as sources of knowledge.
  14. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from starlight in Thoughts on Fouseytube   
    I thought the post was an allegory on YouTube. Don't worry sister. You're not alone here.
  15. Confused
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from starlight in Thoughts 2018   
    Is it just me, or are there other brothers too,who see the slimy, lovey-dovey,photos that some married/engaged friends of their's post on Facebook, and feel like writing (EDITED) in the comments section, but by a superhuman act of self- control, don't?
    PS- Indian and Pakistani brothers, feel free to use your creative imagination to fill in the blank!
  16. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from notme in When do you use Shiachat?   
    Whenever I am going through an existential crisis.
  17. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to starlight in Thoughts on Fouseytube   
    Wait! Fousey tube is a person!!! I read the title yesterday and thought it was something like YouTube!  
  18. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to notme in LGBTQY ?   
    No I'm not saying that. It's comparable to television shows always casting an Arab looking person as a terrorist or a poor black young man as a thug; low-key expression of prejudice. 
    What I'm saying is rather than letting it rile you up, stick firmly to your arguments. Answer chaos with order, it'll make your point more strongly and is better for your peace of mind. 
    Sometimes you have to call it out, but sometimes it's best to just let it go. You know Muslims and Christians have a deeply rooted cultural prejudice against people who express homosexual urges, whether they act on them or not, so choose the big battles. If you're always fighting the little ones, you'll wear yourself out. 
    Everyone has their tests. 
  19. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Saudi plot to assassinate Iranian leaders   
    Lol! General Soleimani is not Khashoggi!!
    Those Nasibi Madhkhali scum!!
  20. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Aflower in Muta discussion with the Brothers... Sisters are welcome too   
    This is the beauty of modernist thought. It flips between the two extremes of unabashed hedonism and prudish Platonism ( where conjugal relationships are concerned) with remarkable ease, depending on its convenience.
    WHICH brings me to my (unrelated) question- what if the prospective bride/groom is age- fluid like me, aged between 5 to 35 years? ( Regressive cabbages believing in age- stereotypes, please stay away from this post).
  21. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Sirius_Bright in What do you think about this muslim pakistani party ?   
    This is how every political party deceive masses before getting onto the seat. They see voters and make promises accordingly. Most of the time they don't look back and if some of them try to live upto people's expectations they face obstruction from opposition. 
    History has famous examples of Bani Zubair and Bani Abbas getting into power by promising revenge for Imam Hussain (a.s.) and when they succeeded they oppressed Imams of Ahlulbait (ams) continuing the legacy of Banu Umayyah (la). 
  22. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to starlight in Muta discussion with the Brothers... Sisters are welcome too   
    Why is everyone bringing up the physical aspects of marriage? Be it temporary or permanent, besides physical intimacy there is emotional intimacy and a sense of companionship which is priceless and equally important to both men and women. 
  23. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Khadim uz Zahra in Muta discussion with the Brothers... Sisters are welcome too   
    Permanent marriage could also be argued to literally be a permission for sex in exchange for a lifelong stipend. Those are the very basic requirements for marriage, if you only look at the law. And if two people want to get permanently married just to have sex, and the man pays the woman living expenses but they live in separate houses, don't love each other and so on, that's also a perfectly valid marriage Islamically. But that's not the ethical point of permanent marriage.
    At the end of the day, it doesn't matter in my opinion, what people's intentions for either mut'ah or permanent marriage are. Very simply put, despite our societies having become incredibly puritanical, Islam recognises that sex is a human need. Not a want, but a need. Sure, some people may argue men need it more than women, and that can be argued forever, but both sexes do need it.
    Just like how hunger is a basic human need and God provides halal foods to sate our needs in that regard, he has provided the two forms of marriage to sate our sexual needs. As long as people use these tools provided by God to avoid sins, and as long as both people understand and consent to what they're getting into, whether they do mut'ah for a one night stand or to get to know each other for permanent marriage or a man uses it for a legal means of marrying a non Muslim, kitabi woman for life (since regular nikah is not allowed in this case), it really doesn't matter. And it shouldn't matter. At best, some of these things may be makrooh,  but the people who make it such a big deal, do they always eat with their right hand and enter the bathroom with their right leg and leave with the left? When it suits them, it's okay to ignore every mustahab  and makrooh act, but when something is causing the youth to become irreligious and commit sins, then it's all about not doing makrooh actions? We'd rather let our youth commit sins instead of letting them do something makrooh. Is that not the epitome of irrationality?
    Do we not see the almost constant threads about teenagers complaining they are masturbating and they can't stop? Do we think God won't question us about how we created a society where His halal was made haram by societal pressure, where people were forced into sin and unable to use the halal means of satisfying their urges? We all read the hadith about halal and harm being interchanged at the end of times; is this not a glaring example of the same?
    Why do we think people will leave Islam and reject the Imam at the time of his zuhoor? It will be because their personal standards of ethics will be so different from Islam, that his actions will not make sense to them. Because they will judge a woman for doing mut'ah, while the Imam will allow it and, as the Hadith about its reward show, even encourage it for those who need it.
    What do they think is going to happen when the Imam tells their sister or their daughter to do mut'ah if the situation requires it and even tells her that she'll have a boatload of reward in Heaven for it, and their deluded idea of ghirah makes them think the Imam is sending their daughter down the wrong path? How many of the people here would accept it, then? If they can't accept it now, then they need to rethink their relationship with Islam and with the Imam because he could come tomorrow, and they might end up rejecting him.
    The rest is just cultural baggage. Islam is about not lagging behind the Prophet, but we should also not go beyond what he says. If he allowed something, we shouldn't judge people - especially the women since Muslim men are for some reason so enamoured with virginity while our Prophet married widows and divorcees with no hesitation - for doing something that he allowed.
  24. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Qa'im in Muta discussion with the Brothers... Sisters are welcome too   
    Mut`a is just as halal for women as it is for men, but there are reasons why the cultural double standards exist. For most men, to even consider marriage, you must be financially independent. It's very difficult to marry permanently before 25; and even marrying before 30 requires one to be very proactive, mature, go through rejections, etc.
    Muslim women on the other hand are regularly approached for marriage before 30. Regardless of where they are, what they're wearing or who they are with, they are pursued. It does not matter if they're still in school/college, it does not matter if they're working full-time or part-time, it does not matter if they hide all day in their basement; it does not even matter if they're mature or not, they and their families are still approached at that age. And it's not just the "pretty" ones, normal-looking women in that age group can get married if that is their goal.
    Libido for women peaks in their late 20s and 30s. For men, libido peaks after puberty and declines later. 15-25 is an awkward age for men, because they're not quite men, nor are they boys; and they cannot marry until they learn to become men. In general, women prefer a man that knows what he's doing (emotionally and physically mature, knows how to please women), and in general, men prefer a woman with less experience. So it makes complete sense to me that men would rely on mut`a until they can support a wife, and that women instead find a quality spouse while they are young.
    Obviously there are many millions of exceptions to everything I've said here, I'm speaking very generally. To answer your last questions, it really depends on their age. If a woman in my family is older or divorced, mut`a is her business. But it's usually not worth it for a woman to waste her youth or virginity on mut`a, because those are important in finding a permanent spouse.
  25. Haha
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from MohammadAli1993 in Umar's statement of shirk   
    Yeah, brother. We all know that. The joke is on the neo- Kharijites who say, "Anybody who invokes the help of someone other than Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى is a mushrik!! Read the ayah 'Iyyaka nasta'een', ya mushrik!! May He guide you or break your back, ya mushrik!!"
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