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In the Name of God بسم الله

AbdusSibtayn

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  1. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from hasanhh in Mid-twenties, female and single - what am I doing wrong?   
    Assalamu alaikum,
    Dear sister,
    Don't lose hope. If Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى is delaying things for you, there must be something good waiting for you at the end.
    I don't know that well about women in the mid- twenties, but for us men, 20-25 is an awkward phase (I myself fall within this age group). It's a confused state of mind to be in. We instinctively feel that we are no longer boys, and we also know that we are yet not quite men either. In their mid- twenties, most men have just finished their education and are looking for jobs and financial stability. It's a sudden realization of their familial responsibilities that strikes them. For most of us this is a rough patch to navigate through, especially if we have had protective parents and an overprotected upbringing. Trust me, guys this age don't even seriously know what marriage is. They are attracted to women, and they crave female companionship, but they are afraid of committing, and the responsibilities that it entails. They are just not in the right frame of mind to settle down, because deep down they know they are yet not matured enough for the task.
    Consider relaxing the age limit a bit. Include men in their late twenties in your list. 3-4 years of age gap won't make that big a difference. I am convinced that men take longer to mature than women.
    What kind of intellectual pursuits are you interested in? Have you considered joining any related clubs/societies?
  2. My Prayers
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in The Threat of Social Media   
    There is also this controversy in Iran, that banning Facebook and Twitter has given a shot in the arm to the royalists and CIA-MI6 stooges to spread misinformation by making it impossible to post a counter narrative on these platforms.
    Honestly, it is an individual choice, according to me. If you feel that social media is interfering with your peace of mind, then quit at once.
    I like SC much better than Facebook. Part of the reason is that I am an introvert/socially awkward, and I like the relative anonymity and Islamic environment that SC offers. Secondly, brothers and sisters here are vastly superior in terms of their online behavior here. Moreover, the content quality on Facebook is no match for that on SC. I have personally benefitted much from this site.
     
  3. Haha
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from hasanhh in Types of Shiachat users   
    Don't know where I fit in.
    I think I have a post-structuralist approach when it comes to these classifications. Same for personality tests.
  4. Haha
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Waseem162 in NEED HELP (brothers only)   
    It takes me 2 minutes to do Ghusl  AlhumDolillah. Even in Winter with chilled water.
  5. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Murtaza1 in Mid-twenties, female and single - what am I doing wrong?   
    I totaly agree with you. I think stepping outside the box and experiencing more age diversity is very essential for a well developed personality. 
  6. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from aaljibar in Maintaining spirituality at work   
    Also, parties are a strict no no.
    I always make it a point to be away from such gatherings. While on field trips, I have many a times insisted that the group should lunch at an alcohol free venue, and made sure that it happens. Not that big a deal if you have considerate colleagues.And it is haram to attend gatherings where alcohol is served.
  7. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from hasanhh in The Threat of Social Media   
    There is also this controversy in Iran, that banning Facebook and Twitter has given a shot in the arm to the royalists and CIA-MI6 stooges to spread misinformation by making it impossible to post a counter narrative on these platforms.
    Honestly, it is an individual choice, according to me. If you feel that social media is interfering with your peace of mind, then quit at once.
    I like SC much better than Facebook. Part of the reason is that I am an introvert/socially awkward, and I like the relative anonymity and Islamic environment that SC offers. Secondly, brothers and sisters here are vastly superior in terms of their online behavior here. Moreover, the content quality on Facebook is no match for that on SC. I have personally benefitted much from this site.
     
  8. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from hasanhh in The Threat of Social Media   
    Actually, SC is my kind of social space!!
  9. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Urwatul Wuthqa in Maintaining spirituality at work   
    Assalam alaikum,
    I am in general agreement with the rest of your post, brother, but I think that the talking with non-mahrams point requires a bit more qualification.
    I feel that informal conversation with colleagues of the opposite gender is not wrong in itself. In the corporate and the academic spheres, the boundaries between personal and the professional might not be that clearly drawn at times. It might very well be the case that informal connections beyond work might get you a good business deal or a good peer review. Moreover, excellence of personality may also act as an instrument of dawah, and conversations provide a window to showcase that excellence and refinement.
    I feel what it ultimately boils down to is the contents of the informal conversations one is having. An instance is the Prophet(S) 's joke with the old lady who came to ask him if she would go to heaven, and he replied that old people won't enter heaven, and just as she was about to leave disheartened, he said that the old would be made young again and then enter heaven.
    Are you discussing spirituality, politics, hobbies, offering life-advices  etc to the opposite gender colleagues? I don't see any un-Islamic stuff there. But, if your conversations are about frivolous things, gossip etc then it is problematic.
     
  10. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from ali_fatheroforphans in Mid-twenties, female and single - what am I doing wrong?   
    Assalamu alaikum,
    Dear sister,
    Don't lose hope. If Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى is delaying things for you, there must be something good waiting for you at the end.
    I don't know that well about women in the mid- twenties, but for us men, 20-25 is an awkward phase (I myself fall within this age group). It's a confused state of mind to be in. We instinctively feel that we are no longer boys, and we also know that we are yet not quite men either. In their mid- twenties, most men have just finished their education and are looking for jobs and financial stability. It's a sudden realization of their familial responsibilities that strikes them. For most of us this is a rough patch to navigate through, especially if we have had protective parents and an overprotected upbringing. Trust me, guys this age don't even seriously know what marriage is. They are attracted to women, and they crave female companionship, but they are afraid of committing, and the responsibilities that it entails. They are just not in the right frame of mind to settle down, because deep down they know they are yet not matured enough for the task.
    Consider relaxing the age limit a bit. Include men in their late twenties in your list. 3-4 years of age gap won't make that big a difference. I am convinced that men take longer to mature than women.
    What kind of intellectual pursuits are you interested in? Have you considered joining any related clubs/societies?
  11. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from ali_fatheroforphans in Maintaining spirituality at work   
    Assalam alaikum,
    I am in general agreement with the rest of your post, brother, but I think that the talking with non-mahrams point requires a bit more qualification.
    I feel that informal conversation with colleagues of the opposite gender is not wrong in itself. In the corporate and the academic spheres, the boundaries between personal and the professional might not be that clearly drawn at times. It might very well be the case that informal connections beyond work might get you a good business deal or a good peer review. Moreover, excellence of personality may also act as an instrument of dawah, and conversations provide a window to showcase that excellence and refinement.
    I feel what it ultimately boils down to is the contents of the informal conversations one is having. An instance is the Prophet(S) 's joke with the old lady who came to ask him if she would go to heaven, and he replied that old people won't enter heaven, and just as she was about to leave disheartened, he said that the old would be made young again and then enter heaven.
    Are you discussing spirituality, politics, hobbies, offering life-advices  etc to the opposite gender colleagues? I don't see any un-Islamic stuff there. But, if your conversations are about frivolous things, gossip etc then it is problematic.
     
  12. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Maintaining spirituality at work   
    Also, parties are a strict no no.
    I always make it a point to be away from such gatherings. While on field trips, I have many a times insisted that the group should lunch at an alcohol free venue, and made sure that it happens. Not that big a deal if you have considerate colleagues.And it is haram to attend gatherings where alcohol is served.
  13. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Waseem162 in Maintaining spirituality at work   
    Assalam alaikum,
    I am in general agreement with the rest of your post, brother, but I think that the talking with non-mahrams point requires a bit more qualification.
    I feel that informal conversation with colleagues of the opposite gender is not wrong in itself. In the corporate and the academic spheres, the boundaries between personal and the professional might not be that clearly drawn at times. It might very well be the case that informal connections beyond work might get you a good business deal or a good peer review. Moreover, excellence of personality may also act as an instrument of dawah, and conversations provide a window to showcase that excellence and refinement.
    I feel what it ultimately boils down to is the contents of the informal conversations one is having. An instance is the Prophet(S) 's joke with the old lady who came to ask him if she would go to heaven, and he replied that old people won't enter heaven, and just as she was about to leave disheartened, he said that the old would be made young again and then enter heaven.
    Are you discussing spirituality, politics, hobbies, offering life-advices  etc to the opposite gender colleagues? I don't see any un-Islamic stuff there. But, if your conversations are about frivolous things, gossip etc then it is problematic.
     
  14. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Murtaza1 in Mid-twenties, female and single - what am I doing wrong?   
    Assalamu alaikum,
    Dear sister,
    Don't lose hope. If Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى is delaying things for you, there must be something good waiting for you at the end.
    I don't know that well about women in the mid- twenties, but for us men, 20-25 is an awkward phase (I myself fall within this age group). It's a confused state of mind to be in. We instinctively feel that we are no longer boys, and we also know that we are yet not quite men either. In their mid- twenties, most men have just finished their education and are looking for jobs and financial stability. It's a sudden realization of their familial responsibilities that strikes them. For most of us this is a rough patch to navigate through, especially if we have had protective parents and an overprotected upbringing. Trust me, guys this age don't even seriously know what marriage is. They are attracted to women, and they crave female companionship, but they are afraid of committing, and the responsibilities that it entails. They are just not in the right frame of mind to settle down, because deep down they know they are yet not matured enough for the task.
    Consider relaxing the age limit a bit. Include men in their late twenties in your list. 3-4 years of age gap won't make that big a difference. I am convinced that men take longer to mature than women.
    What kind of intellectual pursuits are you interested in? Have you considered joining any related clubs/societies?
  15. Haha
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Waseem162 in The Threat of Social Media   
    Actually, SC is my kind of social space!!
  16. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Ejaz in The Threat of Social Media   
    I think going outside and playing basketball or giving a gift to your neighbour would be better definition of social
  17. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to AmirAlmuminin Lover in Maintaining spirituality at work   
    Really refusing shaking hand while respecting the other person is so easy. I don't know why you guys are so concerned about it. 
    First day of my job, I refused to shake hand with team leader (she is a woman), and she didn't mind. The other day day one of the collegues raised her hand towards me for high five, I said I'm sorry and she got the point (she forgot about me being muslim that moment). The other day again I refused to shake hand with one of the colleagues, and she was okay with that. Etc. Etc. Etc. Its super easy. May Allah make it easy and easier for all of us.
    Take it easy. Focuse on your job and the goal, but refuse hand shake respectfully. (Please be this much sensitive on other sins like lying, Ghibah, etc. These are dangerous too)
  18. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Akbar673 in Teachers in US forced to sign loyalty oaths to Israel   
    I'm not denying the Zionist lobby in the U.S. and the money that they funnel into the Politicians. What I'm saying is that the Evangelicals are more than happy to join forces with the Zionists since its part of their doctrine. They both share the same goal.
    The vast majority of U.S. politicians are Evangelicals as have been the majority of Presidents of the last 70 years. Its two sides of the same coin. The reason Zionists were allowed to control the media (as well as whatever other industries they have penetrated) is because the Evangelicals eagerly allowed them to.
    Once we realize that its a two headed monster then we will better be able to deal with it accordingly. We only focus on Zionists while ignoring the Evangelicals. Both sides have to be dealt with.
  19. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to shia farm girl in Teachers in US forced to sign loyalty oaths to Israel   
    As salaamun aleikum,
    https://www.wrmea.org/015-october/the-scofield-bible-the-book-that-made-zionists-of-americas-evangelical-christians.html
    One thing that amazes me is this guy had no theological education, but he basically wrote a biblical tafseer,lol...
    But seriously, this is no a joke:/ Its had a far reaching affect.
    W/s
  20. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Akbar673 in Teachers in US forced to sign loyalty oaths to Israel   
    Yeah, I saw that on the map in the article.
    The only states that don't have it are the meaningless low population states. 
    Desperate move by Evangelists in my opinion. What's really shocking to read was the hurricane relief funds not being distributed to needy hurricane survivors that were in the middle of a crisis. How pathetic can these Evangelists be that they would sell their souls to Zionists at the expense of their fellow countrymen?
    Also, I view this as legislation aimed directly at Muslims since Muslims are the only ones that say anything against Israel in the U.S. for the most part.
  21. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to starlight in Maintaining spirituality at work   
    This^^ 
    I could be wrong here but what we a usually do is we chat and make light hearted comments(nothing indecent or crude of course) when we are in a group but in a one to one setting everyone is strictly business. This is something we have developed over the years and everyone seems to be comfortable with it. 
  22. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Waseem162 in Mid-twenties, female and single - what am I doing wrong?   
    Just think like this dear sister - Everything GOOD comes with patience.  We all here are for test. And we all are tested every second of our lives. Put your Trust in Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى.
    The ONE who created you and is fully aware of your state and needs. Pray to him alot. I mean ALOT. Sometimes Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى keeps away His material blessings from a person to make that person come to Him, beg Him and spend time with Him. Go to Him and InshaAllah He will provide you. He is Khayyr ur Razeqeen. He is your Lord. Your Creator, Cherisher and your Sustainer.
    Keep your search and Rely on Allah's Wisdom. 
  23. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from starlight in Maintaining spirituality at work   
    Assalam alaikum,
    I am in general agreement with the rest of your post, brother, but I think that the talking with non-mahrams point requires a bit more qualification.
    I feel that informal conversation with colleagues of the opposite gender is not wrong in itself. In the corporate and the academic spheres, the boundaries between personal and the professional might not be that clearly drawn at times. It might very well be the case that informal connections beyond work might get you a good business deal or a good peer review. Moreover, excellence of personality may also act as an instrument of dawah, and conversations provide a window to showcase that excellence and refinement.
    I feel what it ultimately boils down to is the contents of the informal conversations one is having. An instance is the Prophet(S) 's joke with the old lady who came to ask him if she would go to heaven, and he replied that old people won't enter heaven, and just as she was about to leave disheartened, he said that the old would be made young again and then enter heaven.
    Are you discussing spirituality, politics, hobbies, offering life-advices  etc to the opposite gender colleagues? I don't see any un-Islamic stuff there. But, if your conversations are about frivolous things, gossip etc then it is problematic.
     
  24. My Prayers
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to HopefulBeliever in Mid-twenties, female and single - what am I doing wrong?   
    Thank you for your response. I actually live in London- probably one of the most diverse, shia packed city outside of muslim countries. My issue is just the quality men available for marriage.
  25. My Prayers
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to HopefulBeliever in Mid-twenties, female and single - what am I doing wrong?   
    Of course, marrying a sunni is a last resort particularly because of the issue of raising children.
    Yes, all of the guys I've met but just don't seem to know how to keep a conversation going or have any interests outside of the gym or shisha. I've met plenty of interesting non- muslim non-shia guys in my life but all the prospective men have been dull and in-inspiring. Probably just my luck or maybe all the good guys are taken, lol. Tbh a lot of my beautiful, intelligent, practicing friends are single and it really boggles my mind.
    Like you said I can't fake my personality and don't want to. Alhamdilalah I get on with the majority of people and am very sociable so my qualities can't be that unattractive surely. Also I've noticed an interesting juxtaposition (if you can call it that)- many men want a sexy, attractive woman but want a super, hijabi, modest woman... so when you share pics they assume you're one and not the other. You can't win.
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