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In the Name of God بسم الله

AbdusSibtayn

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  1. My Prayers
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Miss Wonderful in I think my mother is actively dying...   
    I am not sure how to feel... I remember coming on to this website first in 2011/2012 under a different account and I would always rant about my poisonous father who hurt my mother and his own children so terribly. I lived through so much fear, anxiety, and post trauma all up until his death. And when he finally died in sp 2018 I made sure that huge cement slab was placed on top of his grave. That is how much hatred he racked up in me. I though his death would finally bring relief to our family.
    But shortly after his death my mother became so ill because she neglected herself. I don’t know what weird, and twisted attachement she had to my father who treated her like dirt. But her health deteriorated dramatically. She became stubborn, she wouldn’t eat well, she did not take precautions out in bad weather or take necessary vitamins. She got a lung infection and my brother and I nursed her back to health. But then she couldn’t sleep well due to age and stress. She is honestly not that old. But her stubbornness from past lead to so many things. It feel like everyday she has a new symptom and she refuses doctor visits and gets agitated and defense . Her ways are stressing my brother and I out .
    It kills me seeing her like this. I’m beginning to take huge amounts of overtime at work  this holiday season because it’s just so stressful to come at home.  When I do overtime I make sure that someone will be with her at all times. Otherwise I even changed my work schedule to be more with her. I bought her so many meds that I researched are safe and she doesn’t want to try them. She  is stuck on her own ways. I really fell into a deep depression and became careless about my own life.
    I dunno what to do anymore. I even think I’m becoming numb to her sickness because the worry and pain took so much toll on me and she continue to be stubborn.  One of my biggest fears in life was the inevitable of one day going to lose her and now I’m feeling numb to this fear. I don’t understand. I feel like my parents were selfish. They never let my brother and I plan our own lives. I want my mom to be there for my wedding but I doubt she will live to make it. It’s like they didn’t give a crap about our lives. It’s like my father only cared about himself . And my mother dragged us through years of misery by her never divorcing him. My brother had to the mortgage looming over his head directly after high school since my father had poor money skills. Wallah I don’t understand. It’s like we never get a break. For the longest time I had to watch my father continuously abuse my mother and now that he’s dead she is still suffering even worse than before. I feel like all the past stresses she endured with him have taken a physical toll on her. So even after his death he’s still managed to haunt us. I feel like my father was always a narcissistic abuser and my mother the spineless victim case . She would take out her anger from him especially on me. There are many ways their marriage impacted my brother and I life very negatively. I’m doing everything I can to help my mother . In summer we took her to doctored and hospitals and now says her wishes are to die at home Naturally . So basically she hired me and my brother as google doctors and even then still chooses whatever to do from her mind. 
    You literally don’t know how unbelievable This stress is.  I needed to vent . Wallah I’m doing my best I don’t know what else to . Literally I only have Allah and Ahl Bayt as my source of strength and comfort now.
  2. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Qa'im in What's your Personality Type?   
    ENTJ
  3. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to notme in What's your Personality Type?   
    I took the test again because I didn't save it and I wanted to see my percentages, and my classification changed between yesterday and today. 
    YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE IS:
    ADVOCATE(INFJ-A)
    MIND
    Extraverted 
    Introverted
    3%
    97%
    ENERGY
    Intuitive
    Observant
    74%
    26%
    NATURE
    Thinking
    Feeling
    44%
    56%
    TACTICS
    Judging
    Prospecting
    51%
    49%
    IDENTITY
    Assertive
    Turbulent
    69%
  4. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to shia farm girl in What's your Personality Type?   
    INFJ-Advocate
  5. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to ireallywannaknow in What's your Personality Type?   
    Personality type: “The Adventurer” (ISFP-A)
    Individual traits: Introverted – 82%, Observant – 68%, Feeling – 51%, Prospecting – 68%, Assertive – 51%
    Role: Explorer
    Strategy: Confident Individualism
    It's just a quiz, says nothing about the true me. 
  6. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Ashvazdanghe in What's your Personality Type?   
    Your Results

    “THE MEDIATOR” (INFP-T)
     DIPLOMAT
     CONSTANT IMPROVEMENT
    26%74%
    INTROVERTED
    59%
    INTUITIVE
    41%
    44%56%
    FEELING
    29%71%
    PROSPECTING
    44%56%
    TURBULENT
     DIPLOMAT  CONSTANT IMPROVEMENT 26% 74% INTROVERTED 59% INTUITIVE 41% 44% 56% FEELING 29% 71% PROSPECTING 44% 56% TURBULENT
  7. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Mohammed-Mehdi in BREAKING: New picture of Sayed Sistani (ha)   
    May Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى lengthen his life!
  8. My Prayers
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Who do you love the most? (Mother vs Father)   
    My mother.
  9. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Irfani313 in Grammar Questions Ayat Tatheer   
    This is not true. Because this so called open heart surgery implies many more false things. These rumors were spread by hypocrites among sahaba many years later.. 
    1. Prophet was unclean once and then got cleansed????? 
    2. Zam Zam water is more cleaner than the Prophet so it could clean the Prophet??????
    3. According to Qur'an, Jabreel’s job has never been performing surgeries??????
    4. Prophet Jesus (عليه السلام) was born clean yet the Prophet Muhammad (sawaw) who is superior to him, was born unclean and was cleansed later?????? 
  10. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Soldiers and Saffron in Women’s bodies and their choice of dress   
    Whatever way whoever chooses to dress, I think that the most important thing is to maintain ones dignity. 
    Dressing in a revealing fashion is not so dignified in my opinion. That goes for both genders.
    I think the most dignified dress for a women is the abayya because ideally it says something about her, namely she is not trying to please you with revealing her body to you or feel the need to have her looks evaluated by strangers in order to feel validated. She is aware of the reality of human nature, society and her religion, her aim is to please the Creator and not that which is created. Ideally speaking at least.
  11. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Hayy ibn Yaqzan in List as many assertive responses U can think of   
    I find that sometimes the most assertive stance you can take, is one which respects your limits, and the expectations of who you're talking with.
    This is like, an explorative stance - where you give yourself the gift of time and clarity to make a full reasoned decision with no immediate commitment - and you are also showing the other party what is needed to make things work.
    It's exactly as the two previous posters @Hameedeh & @AbdusSibtayn demonstrate:
     
     
    Being able to respond with a:
    "I hear what you're saying, so tell me more about X, Y & Z"
    Or other more appropriate phrasing - can lead to great results - and open options for you.
    Just a thought from my experience
    Hope this helps,
    WaSalaam,
  12. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Heavenly_Silk in Post A Picture Of Your Fav Animal   
    My favorite.

  13. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from ali_fatheroforphans in List as many assertive responses U can think of   
    Wa alaikum assalam,
    No, thanks.
    Sorry, but I disagree.
    That'll work just fine, thanks.
    I'm sorry,but I won't be able to make it.
    I am sorry, but I am unable to help you with this.
    Depends a lot on the situation, actually.
  14. Haha
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from ali_fatheroforphans in Types of Shiachat Users Part 2   
    One more category-
    The irregulars- they come once in a while, post something, and then disappear for weeks/months on end.
    I belong to this type.
  15. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from 313_Waiter in Imam Tawhidi: Got me 10000% here. Please HELP   
    Salam dear sister,
    There is absolutely no way a pervert can abuse this fatwa. The maraja have also stated that this isn't allowed if it harms the minor, which it obviously and inevitably does, so it is haram. You see, the shield of the secondary conditions protecting the child is impenetrable.
    The only reason the maraja have this fatwa in the first place is because they cant outright forbid it due to a legal technicality.
  16. My Prayers
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from 313_Waiter in Imam Tawhidi: Got me 10000% here. Please HELP   
    Brother, please calm down. Try to be clear headed and clarify your confusion.
    The fatwa that you have read exists, but it is a legal fiction not to be acted upon- something which is only theoretically allowed due to lack of prima facie evidence, but something which is absolutely prohibited on secondary and practical considerations.
    The thing is, there are ahadith which explicitly forbid intercourse with a minor, but for other types of pleasures, there is no explicit evidence on the contrary, so the maraja's hands are tied by the silence of the scriptures- they cannot declare it forthright haram due to the principle that 'everything is allowed unless there is evidence on the contrary'. But they know as well that such behavior is physically as well as psychologically damaging to the minor, so they have prohibited it through finding a back door- by introducing the principle of not causing harm to the child. It is only a legal technicality, something which they will never allow to take place in practice due to the obvious harm it causes to the minor.
    It is not just Imam al-Khumayni (rh), but also Sayyid al-Khu'i, and Tawhidi's favorite, Sayyid Shirazi, and among the present maraja, Sayyid Sistani (h.a.), Sayyid Khamenei (h.a.) and Sayyid Rohani (h.a.) who have exactly the same ruling. But they, at the same time, have unequivocally stated that it is absolutely forbidden if it causes harm to the child, which it obviously and invariably does, so it is only a legal fiction which is forbidden in practice, due to the very reality of reality.
    Cool down, clear your head, and read this article. Tawhidi (l.a.)'s lies have been thoroughly refuted here-
    https://exposingtawhidi.wordpress.com/2017/06/26/defence-of-tashayyu-thighing/
    A few parting words - Dear brother, do not cause doubt in you religion, or over the credentials of our scholars, just because of the slanders and lies of a known murtad charlatan who has denied the integrity of the Holy Quran publicly in the past. There will be many things misquoted, truncated and presented to mislead you. But try to verify things and do not jump to conclusions until you get to know the absolute truth about the information.
  17. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to ShiaMan14 in Why Shiachat Is Dead   
    Ask not what SC can do for you. 
    Ask what you can do for SC.
  18. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Reza in Why Shiachat Is Dead   
    You don't have to be a mod to "bring more entertainment and fun". You have the power already!
  19. Haha
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Ibn Al-Shahid in Anyone who knows what a milcha is?   
    Milcha is when u lose half ur things. it's marriage basically. there is Khutba, that's when u have the chance to run away, engagement. then the next step is milcha
  20. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Hameedeh in List as many assertive responses U can think of   
    Salam. I say "Thank you" a lot with my superiors. When they ask me to do something then I want them to know that I feel grateful that they trust me to do it. 
    This is definitely true. If she gives a few examples we could reply with more specific information. 
  21. My Prayers
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Miss Wonderful in List as many assertive responses U can think of   
    Salam all! I am in need of assertive responses that I can use at work and daily life. So if you can think of some plz list below! I highly appreciate it thanx  xoxoxo
  22. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Qa'im in Feminism and Islam   
    You’re correct that in Islam, a mother has no shar’i obligation to cook, clean, or even breastfeed her children. She can even stipulate some of these things in her contract. She can work most of the same jobs as men. But the full equality pushed by feminists is one that would destroy Islamic ethics and law.
    For example: As you know, the Quran obligates half the inheritance of men. Some Muslim feminists cry foul that women receive less inheritance than men. But they overlook that women receive a dower and men don’t, and women are entitled to some of her husband’s earnings, yet men don’t share that privilege.
    So if we start chopping away at one gendered law, the logical conclusion would be to get rid of all gendered laws, and just adopt a liberal individualist approach to fiqh. This however would be unjust, because it does not address the different needs and abilities of the sexes. It also calls into question the infallibility of the revelation: if it needs updates every few years (and yes, feminism is a constantly changing ideology; there have been three major waves in the last century), then that calls into question the foresight of Allah and His Messenger, who are both beyond reproach once you have recognized the realities of iman.
    Other examples of dimorphic laws: hijab, salat and fasting in menstruation, polygamy, guardian permission in marriage, marrying non-Muslims, sharing wealth in marriage, the obligation of working for men, conscription for men, contact with non-mahrams, etc.
  23. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Waseem162 in Mut'ah taboo needs to end   
    It's like basic economics. If you artificially restrict the supply, the market will find ways bypassing the restrictions (the so-called 'black market') to meet the excess demand caused by the deficiency in supply.
    Desires are a constant. Restrict the halal options, and haram by-ways will immediately crop up.
    I am witnessing the hook up culture among the youth first hand at my university (yes, the Muslim youth from religious, practicing families included), it being a residential campus. Believe me or not, our children are doing it, behind our backs, and more often than we would like to think. We are living in a world post the twentieth century 'Sexual Revolution'.Like it or not. I may sound blunt and brazen, but this is how things are.
    You have the available cards in your deck. Make your move wisely. Let us please educate our children.
  24. Haha
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from hasanhh in Types of Shiachat users   
    Don't know where I fit in.
    I think I have a post-structuralist approach when it comes to these classifications. Same for personality tests.
  25. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from AMR5 in Mut'ah taboo needs to end   
    It's like basic economics. If you artificially restrict the supply, the market will find ways bypassing the restrictions (the so-called 'black market') to meet the excess demand caused by the deficiency in supply.
    Desires are a constant. Restrict the halal options, and haram by-ways will immediately crop up.
    I am witnessing the hook up culture among the youth first hand at my university (yes, the Muslim youth from religious, practicing families included), it being a residential campus. Believe me or not, our children are doing it, behind our backs, and more often than we would like to think. We are living in a world post the twentieth century 'Sexual Revolution'.Like it or not. I may sound blunt and brazen, but this is how things are.
    You have the available cards in your deck. Make your move wisely. Let us please educate our children.
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