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In the Name of God بسم الله

AbdusSibtayn

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  1. Haha
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Fakeha in How to turn someone down gently?   
    "hum ko maloom hai shadi ki haqiqat lekin" would be better 
  2. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Reza in Make Shiachat Shiachat again   
    Mods must be the most civilized wild beasts ever.
    Then be part of the solution. We don’t function on pure predestination in our faith. We have the power to elevate our destiny.
    The biggest drain on this site is not the loss of a couple banned members, but the huge numbers of inactive members who can’t put in even the tiniest amount of participation.
    That’s just a small sample for you on the kind of stuff we deal with.
    If you like, re-send it again by PM to staff and it can be re-reviewed.
    While the rules are firm on insulting personalities, there is also flexibility. To quote directly from the guidelines:
    “The Shiachat.com team does however reserve the right to keep such threads open granted that it is put under heavy moderation and all parties engaged in the debate maintain a certain level of respect and maturity.”
    Interesting reminder. Mods receive many complaints and reports from many of you calling for the banning or disciplining of members.
    When mods don’t comply to these requests, they are called insensitive, supporters of corruption, betrayers of Islam, betraying their duties etc. When mods do ban, they are trigger happy tyrants and vicious beasts with a sadistic agenda.
    Looks like mods can’t win either way.
  3. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Reza in Make Shiachat Shiachat again   
    The new system lets you see a list of topics from multiple subforums (or even the whole site), all on one page, all at once. Makes it much easier to browse new topics.
    In the old system, you had to open each subforum one at a time, either clicking the back button constantly, or having multiple tabs/windows open. It was horribly inefficient. 
    The only appeal of the old system was its familiarity, definitely not its functionality.
    Admins and mods are usually well standing members of the site who can be entrusted with sensitive information, and to collaborate in maintaining rules.
    Although usually selected by other staff members, somebody is unlikely to become a mod or admin if they are controversial and aren’t in good standing with the general community.
    Although the “election” format was tried, do you think there’s a huge spring of eligible, qualified, motivated candidates? Ones who who don’t disappear for a few months? And are willing to do lots of tedious work? We have lots of big talkers, but not many who can handle the seat.
    Originally, in the “good old days”, there were 40+ subforums, navigated by the inefficient system described above. Because of this, many were abandoned ghost towns.
    It has since been reduced to around 25, which admittedly is still quite high. We’re open to ideas to reducing this, and if you have specifics on which subforums should be merged or changed, let us know.
    The reaction emojis are still a work in progress. Data is gathered on how often each are used, and whether they are appropriately used. They can always be added/changed/removed.
    That’s the goal.
    You’re complaining that is time consuming, but clicking on 40+ subforums one-by-one was fine? For this reason, many new topics in the old days were lazily placed in “General Discussions” (even though they really belonged elsewhere), because it was easy. Today, with the new system, members are better at placing topics in appropriate places. That’s a good thing if we care about organization.
    The current layout (the “fluid” style), is similar to the style used by Reddit, Facebook newsfeeds, news sites, etc. That’s better designed for those with low attention spans.
    Of course, the process can be even easier with reducing the number of subforums, which again, we’re open to specific proposals.
    This nostalgic sentiment is common, and I’m convinced it has more to do with remembering our younger days, when the internet was more fresh and exciting in our minds, and we had more free time to hang around. As we get older, we lose that wonder, and we often blame the site, rather than our own weariness.
    Objectively though, there’s really little inherently better about the past than now. Good topics and members existed then and now, but if you dig deep in the archives, you’ll see a lot of junk. 
    That’s exactly the point. The old system was s nightmare to find new topics, unless you had the patience to open each subforum one at a time.
    Thanks a lot, we appreciate it.
    Running the site is serious business. Changing management “for fun” is not wise. Also not sure what “tradition” you’re referring to.
    Mods typically change after long inactivity or quit for other reasons. It’s an important job, and uses skills that develop over time, which is why long term stability is important. Changing mods is difficult, because it takes a while to “catch them up to speed” with a radically different site interface and experience. Only those who have done it will understand.
    As someone who works with the mod team frequently, I can assure you there’s no widespread “abuse” of any power. Actions are taken for a reason, often after team consensus. Mistakes in judgment are made, which only underscores the necessity of maturity and experience.
    The site is not hierarchical by most standards. Unlike many forums, we don’t have paid premium members, and most site features are accessible to everyone.
    Whether people stay or not is up to that individual, for whatever reason. Likely more outside personal reasons.
    I can assure you, mods do the best they can, and I trust their actions are always in the best interest of the site.
    We have that covered already.
    That’s mostly what is done historically. The previous election was a experiment.
    It’s clear to me, as most members have a limited understanding of the full scope of mod responsibilities, they may not be the best to make penultimate decisions on staffing.
    As somebody who participated in it, I can understand that feeling. To be fair, it was a first time experiment, and it had its positives and negatives. It generated excitement but also escalated grudges and factionalism as well. But overall, it ended on a good note.
    That’s appreciated.
    I believe this is only nostalgia talking. As I stated above, there’s virtually no advantages of the old system from a functional POV, and it was more tedious. 
    The new system may have a slight learning curve for some, but overall, it’s made the site a much more pleasurable experience.
    That’s an important point. Mods are diverse, with varying levels of time commitment, expertise, and style.
    Bluntness is fine, as long as it’s within the rules. Of course, sometimes bluntness in bad taste is counterproductive.
    For me at least, to regret is an important part of the learning process. I definitely regret some posts I’ve made in the past.
    You make us sound like the Gestapo or SAVAK. Chill dude.
    Generally, members aren’t banned by the whim of an individual mod, but by consensus among the mod team, typically after long discussions, and only after multiple prior warnings, suspensions, mod previews, and a million chances to correct rule violations you guys don’t see.
    For me, it took only one click.
    Not sure who on the team fits these descriptions exactly.
    The amount of time you spend here is your personal choice. On one end, people don’t show up, but then complain the place is dead? And then pretend these are not mutually exclusive occurrences? 
    Agree x 1000%.
    Also agree 1000%.
    Mods are still members, and are allowed to express their opinions and biases on topics as they wish, just like anyone else. It is up to an individual mod to determine how they participate.
    From an action taking standpoint, the consensus style of moderation lessens vigilantism. In fact, individual mods who get caught up in a contested public discussion are more likely to seek consultation with other mods to ensure a fair outcome, in my experience.
    Different interpretations of the rules exist, and those mods who are most active usually will direct the course of action. Any mod action can be appealed privately, and the team will discuss it and will either reverse or confirm the action.
    Having devoted, stable people who think beyond themselves is all we can ask for. 
    We have lots of backseat talkers who will go as soon as there’s nothing in the site for “me”. 
    More like it highlights the fact that mods are unpaid volunteers who can’t devote 24/7 to reading every post in the forum. And also they have certain information that you don’t have, which often explains the discrepancy between how mods see a member and how an unknowing public sees that member.
    Also, interpreting laws and guidelines is a difficult task, which is why people get years of high education to do it. But mods try their best.
    Hi
    Not sure what time you are referring to. 
    I can assure you as well, in our present time (can’t speak for the past), “irritating” mods is not a criteria for getting a ban. Many members are irritating, but they don’t get banned. In fact, we have quite a high tolerance, and are far from “trigger happy”.
    With all due respect, how can you have an opinion on the validity of any ban without all the corresponding facts and knowledge (especially what’s behind the scenes). Relying solely on what you see publicly paints a very incomplete picture.
    There’s many misconceptions that need to be addressed. Firstly, members aren’t banned solely for their viewpoints or opinions, unless it’s overt blasphemy (which is rare, and banning is generally uncontroversial). Members get banned because of repeated breaking of rules, both publicly and privately (especially by PM). Finally, permanent banning is rarely the first step, and often many warnings and temporary measures take place first. All after mod consensus of course.
    Mods only enforce rules the best they can, and mistakes are made. To say mods are inherently vengeful is silly. The banned members thread was created for transparency, exactly to allievate your concerns.
    Banned members are a very tiny fraction of the site. A much larger portion (and of much more significant impact) of this site are voluntary inactive members (like yourself, as you’ve admitted). 
  4. Angry
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from hasanhh in Thoughts 2018   
    Why does SC not have the 'love' react !?
  5. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from 2Timeless in Thoughts 2018   
    We're all so alone in the end.
  6. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Zulfiqar1472 in Make Shiachat Shiachat again   
    On the other hand, the mailbox format keeps the users informed about the newest threads in each section.
    Never had any problems with the administration panel, honestly. In fact they have been very helpful and very accessible, especially sister @Hameedeh and brother @Qa'im.
  7. Haha
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Zulfiqar1472 in Make Shiachat Shiachat again   
    Times are a changin'.
  8. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from notme in Thoughts 2018   
    Why does SC not have the 'love' react !?
  9. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Fakeha in Make Shiachat Shiachat again   
    On the other hand, the mailbox format keeps the users informed about the newest threads in each section.
    Never had any problems with the administration panel, honestly. In fact they have been very helpful and very accessible, especially sister @Hameedeh and brother @Qa'im.
  10. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Fakeha in How to turn someone down gently?   
    Since he's already married, it's the other way round-
    "Humko maloom hai jannat ki haqiqat lekin,
    Dil ko bahlane ko phir bhi khayal achchha hai..."
  11. Haha
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Fakeha in How to turn someone down gently?   
    Don't worry, brother. You have 3 more chances .
  12. Haha
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from starlight in What made you laugh today?   
    A classmate of mine called our professor 'Insan-i-Kamil' (yes, she used these very words, in case you're wondering) just to flatter him. The poor guy was awkward and speechless and at a loss as to how to respond for quite some time, before he made light of the issue
    This made me laugh real hard today.
  13. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from starlight in Thoughts 2018   
    Why does SC not have the 'love' react !?
  14. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to starlight in Thoughts 2018   
    We are never alone, there is Someone closer to us than our jugulars, who is always there for us, someone who says: "Call upon Me; I will respond to you." (40:60)
  15. My Prayers
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to 3wliya_maryam in Going through quite a rough patch at the moment   
    Salam alaikum everyone
    I would like to thank each and every person from the bottom of my hearts for your responses, @Ruqaya101  @MartyS @rkazmi33 @Abu Hadi @2Timeless @Bakir  
    @AbdusSibtayn @eloquence @layman
    alhamdullilah I am feeling much better now and I pray that Insha Allah your lives may be filled with joy, happiness and ease. I will try my hardest to be patient towards my parents inshallah and I'll leave everything else in the hands of Allah, if He wills for them to change or not 
    @Bakir May Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى guide you and have ease in your life, for you are a strong brother who has gone through alot
    And @Ruqaya101 WALLAHI YOU MADE ME SO HAPPY LAST TONIGHT I'M SO GRATEFUL ALHAMDULLILAH YOU WERE SO EMOTIONAL 
    all the best to everyone
    fee amanillah xx
  16. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from 3wliya_maryam in Going through quite a rough patch at the moment   
    It is so sad to see idiotic cultural taboos pushing away young sisters further away from Islam. All because of the obstinate idiocy of some elders.
    May Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى aid you, sister. One thing I would suggest is, maintain a diary dedicated to Imam Zaman(ajtf), and write out all your inner rumblings to him. Write one page daily, and if you don't find the time, a few pages weekly. Start off by writing 'Ya Aba Saleh' or 'Ya Qa'im ul Aal', and then begin to write. See if that makes you feel lighter. He(aj) will surely show you the way out, inshaallah.
  17. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Ruqaya101 in Going through quite a rough patch at the moment   
    It is so sad to see idiotic cultural taboos pushing away young sisters further away from Islam. All because of the obstinate idiocy of some elders.
    May Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى aid you, sister. One thing I would suggest is, maintain a diary dedicated to Imam Zaman(ajtf), and write out all your inner rumblings to him. Write one page daily, and if you don't find the time, a few pages weekly. Start off by writing 'Ya Aba Saleh' or 'Ya Qa'im ul Aal', and then begin to write. See if that makes you feel lighter. He(aj) will surely show you the way out, inshaallah.
  18. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to The Green Knight in Make Shiachat Shiachat again   
    Indeed it strikes me of gmail's inbox. With so many checkboxes. You click "offtopic" for instance and then you click "general" and they are both selected, displaying threads from both, even though the two have different rules. Thats why when you click to start a new thread it will present you with a long list of subforums to again click and choose where you want to make your post. With the attention spans people have today by that time you are already starting to forget some of the content you wanted to post. Which made me think, why not make it like it was?
  19. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to notme in How to turn someone down gently?   
    Well that's when you block his calls, texts, and emails, and refuse to see him in person. No is no. Any man who can't accept this isn't ready for marriage. 
  20. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Laayla in Please help :) (bad roommate)   
    Bismehe Ta3ala,
    Wa Alikum Assalam.
    Brother, okay so he is sunni, I hope that isn't the issue.  Please show good akhlaq towards this brother.  When you show positive energy and as Imam Sadiq said, "O Shia community, be an adornment for us [among people], and not a disgrace to us. Say good words to people, guard your tongues, and restrain yourselves from mindless chatter and offensive speech.” (Amali al-Saduq)
    You do the opposite brother, when you invite friends invite him too.  He has family too, look at him as a brother who makes mistakes, but look at him with mercy and understanding.  You will be fine, brother.
    M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah
  21. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from AmirAlmuminin Lover in Please help :) (bad roommate)   
    Wa alaikum as salam,
    Since it's a leased apt., talk to the landlord or to the guy in charge of the allotments. Hopefully he'll understand your situation and change your room or roommate.
    I have just narrowly escaped such a situation myself. Empathize with you, brother.
  22. My Prayers
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Hameedeh in Siblings and Preserving Your Faith   
    If I were you, I would smile back and say, "We shall see."
  23. Haha
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Ashvazdanghe in Please help :) (bad roommate)   
    Salam just gave him book of treaty of rights  & run away 
  24. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Bakir in All animals are good?   
    What is this thread about man? Lol...
  25. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Ashvazdanghe in Quick question...   
    Assalamu alaikum,
    Unlike the Sunni fiqh, the Ja'fari fiqh does not require witnesses to be present at the time the aqd is pronounced, either during mutah or permanent jawaz. So it can be done over the phone.
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