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In the Name of God بسم الله

AbdusSibtayn

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  1. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to hasanhh in Make Shiachat Shiachat again   
    Ehhhh, but He-s.a.w.s did have 'awkward moments' (l am trying to avoid a Mod's rant). CITATION: Ayats 66:1-3 <---------------
    Although He-s.a.w.s. didn't have Lut's-a.s. wife, Ayat 11:81, inshallah.
  2. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Carlzone in Female submissiveness   
    Men have a lot of authority over women in Islam so it seems logical to me. This shows how important it is for women to pick good men as husbands. 
  3. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from LaurenW in Female submissiveness   
    Not neglecting the child. She can attend to those duties, while demanding that the husband hire a nurse to look after the child.
    The usool behind the hadith is that a woman's labour is not something that can be taken for granted. This is an area where she is not bound by the command of her husband, and he has no choice but to give in to her demand. The whole point is to demonstrate the extent to which the Sharia emphasizes that the wife is not a domestic drudge.
    On the other hand, there are other spheres of life where she must abide by what her husband wills.
    How then do we categorize Islam? Do we call it sexist and oppressive? Or do we call it ultra-modern for stipulating things which we even in our 'pregressive' age find too radical? These are modern day and context- sensitive categories which cannot accurately describe Islam.
    And I found the point about rejecting ahadith based on 'reasoning'(again, a very contested term regarding which there's no unanimity or standardization) to be very alarming. Our 'reasoning' is limited by our abilities to perceive(the 5 senses), which in turn shapes our notions of 'right' and 'wrong'. The Ahadith are the recorded Sunan of the Prophet (sawa) which Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى in his Qur'an has given the status of revelation. They are the Tawrat of Ahlul Bayt (as). There are several warnings from the Imams(as) about not rejecting ahadith simply based on our 'gut feelings'. Applying a methodology based on a totally different epistemology does not do justice to the hadiths.
    What is moral is not always rational, and what is rational is not always moral. These are my 2 cents.
  4. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from starlight in Female submissiveness   
    Not neglecting the child. She can attend to those duties, while demanding that the husband hire a nurse to look after the child.
    The usool behind the hadith is that a woman's labour is not something that can be taken for granted. This is an area where she is not bound by the command of her husband, and he has no choice but to give in to her demand. The whole point is to demonstrate the extent to which the Sharia emphasizes that the wife is not a domestic drudge.
    On the other hand, there are other spheres of life where she must abide by what her husband wills.
    How then do we categorize Islam? Do we call it sexist and oppressive? Or do we call it ultra-modern for stipulating things which we even in our 'pregressive' age find too radical? These are modern day and context- sensitive categories which cannot accurately describe Islam.
    And I found the point about rejecting ahadith based on 'reasoning'(again, a very contested term regarding which there's no unanimity or standardization) to be very alarming. Our 'reasoning' is limited by our abilities to perceive(the 5 senses), which in turn shapes our notions of 'right' and 'wrong'. The Ahadith are the recorded Sunan of the Prophet (sawa) which Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى in his Qur'an has given the status of revelation. They are the Tawrat of Ahlul Bayt (as). There are several warnings from the Imams(as) about not rejecting ahadith simply based on our 'gut feelings'. Applying a methodology based on a totally different epistemology does not do justice to the hadiths.
    What is moral is not always rational, and what is rational is not always moral. These are my 2 cents.
  5. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to notme in Thoughts 2018   
    Nothing pleases me more than my right to NOT work! I am fortunate and blessed to (finally!) have a decent husband. 
    The first (before I was Muslim) was mentally ill and needed constant care. I was the only one in our family who consistently worked. After he threatened to harm our children, I divorced him. As far as I know, his mother takes care of him now. 
    The second ("good sayyid Shia guy from a reputable family") was selfish and simply refused to fulfill his obligations. He left us homeless and destitute, while he was living alone pursuing superfluous degrees and plastic surgery to beautify himself. 
    They say third time is the charm.  It's been 4 1/2 years. So far, so good. 
     
  6. Haha
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from eloquence in Breaking news: Pakistan acquits Christian woman on death row   
    *shudder*
    This is apparently the 'moderate' and 'tolerant' Barelwi political upsurge that we are told will rescue us from the nasibi takfiri menace.
     
  7. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to eloquence in Breaking news: Pakistan acquits Christian woman on death row   
    Yes, including Shias. 
    The majority isn’t educated enough and has been fed the wrong narrative. The army used (80s or so) religion to keep their dominance. The religious right took that and radicalized a large part of the country’s consciousness. Now anything that goes against their point of view is easily swept away as unislamic. Minorities are easy targets because of their small numbers. 
  8. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to notme in Female submissiveness   
    Before we debate equality, we need to agree upon a definition of equality. 
    Clearly men and women are not the same and have different assigned responsibilities and rights. 
    I do not believe either gender is superior or inferior. 
     
  9. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to starlight in Female submissiveness   
    I asked you why you found the idea of inequality hard to accept. After nine+ years on shiachat, nothing annoys me now
    Can you please quote examples!! I would be very interested to read up those because I never came across anything like that.
  10. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to starlight in Thoughts 2018   
    My experience has been different. I haven't come across even a single man in real life who has complained about being the breadwinner. Probably because things are still different back here and men and women still follow the stereotypical gender roles. 
    How did you reach this conclusion about me? And of all people me? Who has been studying and working at the same time and raising two children alone for almost a decade and trying to look after an old parent on the side. 
    Relax, I wasn't attacking anyone.It was just a 'thought'. 
  11. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to starlight in Thoughts 2018   
    Women have very little financial responsibility except maybe some personal financial expenses and extreme luxury items they want. 
    On the other hand, a man is solely responsible for the complete maintenance of his wife, his family and any other needy relations. It is his duty by law to assume all financial responsibilities and maintain his dependents adequately. It is also his duty to contribute financially to all good causes in his society. Yet, it's funny how I come across very few men complaining about bearing all these financial burdens alone and every other woman protesting about her right to work. Lolz.
  12. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Islandsandmirrors in Female submissiveness   
    Rasoolallah (sawa) would sweep the floor of his house, and help his wives(sa) with other household chores. Some men cannot even put butter on their slice of bread without their wives.
    On the flip side, in our Imami fiqh, a woman is entitled to remuneration for each and every household chore from housekeeping to child rearing from her husband, should she ask for it.
    So before labels like 'unequal' and 'sexist', with a distinctly modern understanding and rooted in a completely different epistemology, are applied to Islam, these nuances must be taken into account. Islam is beyond such clumsy and simplistic categorizations. It is Islam.
  13. Completely Agree
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Maryaam in Female submissiveness   
    Moreover, what is equality? And how do we arrive at such a definition? And what are the parameters and modalities of doing so? And Is there a consensus/ unanimity regarding them?
  14. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to starlight in Female submissiveness   
    You understood right. There is no equality. Why do your find it so difficult to accept this. Men and women are VERY different. Why do you think there should be equality?
  15. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to ShiaMan14 in Female submissiveness   
    @Islandsandmirrors - a husband can forbid his wife from leaving the house or going to a particular place and she has to abide by his edict...islamically
  16. My Prayers
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Hameedeh in Siblings and Preserving Your Faith   
    If I were you, I would smile back and say, "We shall see."
  17. Like
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from notme in Make Shiachat Shiachat again   
    In fact, I think that in several cases that I can recollect, the mods have been too lenient towards the members in question. 
    If only those louts were given a nice twisting of their ears and hauled up for their uncivil and uncouth behaviour then and there, we could have greatly curbed the toxicity and garbage-sprinkling that goes around in many of the threads in the guise of 'putting strong opinions' and 'free discussion/expression'.
    We can do without such social pollutants alright. Their presence was never indispensable.
  18. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Qa'im in Can anyone else relate?   
    I'm not sure if there's a one-size-fits-all solution to this problem, or linear ten-step program either. Humans are complex, and our beliefs have both voluntary and involuntary; selfish and altruistic components at the same time. We also have different priorities and interests, and varying abilities. For some converts, it's enough to just marry into a Muslim family and follow along. For others, they must go to hawza and even there they can't find satisfaction. Some are drawn to the du`as and ziyarat, others are drawn to philosophy and polemics, others are drawn to fiqh, others are drawn to history, others to worship, others to poetry, to politics, to mysticism, etc. Since Islam is all-encompassing, it's hard to create a program that is all-encompassing for people that are not all-encompassing themselves.
    I would say a good start for everyone is to understand the shahada -- why is it true, what does it entail, and what are its logical conclusions? Then, one should humble themselves, and train their nafs. Then, one should seek knowledge and understand it. Then, one should act upon it. We periodically need to go back and redo these steps.
    Practically speaking, learning to pray is the first priority for a convert, even if that prayer is very minimalistic. If they can learn to commit to salat, then they'll be able to develop the tenacity and consciousness for the rest of the deen.
  19. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to realizm in Make Shiachat Shiachat again   
    Number one rule for a forum is longevity.
    Better off with a loyal team than members changing every two months. 
    You talk about elections here, I say be grateful to those who dedicate their time. Because they stay on duty while members tend to come and go so quickly. 
    Just see how often we see members getting hyperactive for 6 months and then disappearing.
     
  20. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to notme in Make Shiachat Shiachat again   
    Times change and shiachat has to change along with or get forgotten.
    Except for those of us who just keep coming back. 
    Each of the mods and admins has strengths and weaknesses, and a lot goes on behind the scenes that members aren't aware. I think the team that we have right now is outstanding. We balance each other very well. 
  21. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to starlight in Make Shiachat Shiachat again   
    Thank you @realizm for the nice post. At least someone here is acknowledging the efforts of the team. I am by no means complaining about this but all of the team members spend so much time sometimes hours, cleaning up threads, responding to member requests about name change and editing the posts,filtering spam messages. You have no idea what the site would have been if left unattended even for a couple of hours. Someone complained about @Khadim uz Zahra earlier. Kuz is a Uni student with a tough schedule and once he spent more than twelve hours watching the site when there was a porn attack on SC,taking down videos within minutes. He spent the whole night doing that to spare you from the disgusting stuff. Someone threatened to run me and my children over by his car.The site admins work hard to protect it from hackers and this is just the tip of the iceberg....
    I would reiterate what @notme said, a lot more goes behind the scenes than the members are aware of. 
    One thing I would like to tell people here which I think lots of you won't know is that 95% of moderating 'action' from taking down posts to banning members is discussed by the team first and if need be, we take a poll.Only then we make a definite decision.So when a warning is issued by a team member it doesn't mean that it was his/her decision alone,he/she simply sent the warning message on behalf of the whole team so the suggestion of going through the ban thread doesn't mean anything.  
    @Darth Vader Tbh, this whole thread of yours doesn't mean anything  but if you want to have some fun,go ahead.
    Shiachat is already Shiachat.
  22. Like
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to The Green Knight in Make Shiachat Shiachat again   
    With all due respect, even now we are clicking constantly. Click to select a subforum then select another and both are selected. Then you click the old one again to deselect it. Click-click-clickity-click. But the layout makes the website look like Gmail. Just saying.
    A wise person appreciates a bit of criticism and takes it constructively, which I am happy to see. Tbh I was surprised to see how many SC'ers responded to this thread. We should care for each other. As for me, I am always up for positive contribution to the site and like to post content after content with each of my fabulous posts.
  23. My Prayers
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from The Green Knight in Make Shiachat Shiachat again   
    Lots of needless alarmism.
    Let us please move over simplistic, monocausal-deterministic junior high school blame- games and suggest concrete, workable solutions to re- invigorate the site.
    Sincerest apologies if I came off as being disrespectful or harsh.
  24. My Prayers
    AbdusSibtayn got a reaction from Abu Nur in Make Shiachat Shiachat again   
    Lots of needless alarmism.
    Let us please move over simplistic, monocausal-deterministic junior high school blame- games and suggest concrete, workable solutions to re- invigorate the site.
    Sincerest apologies if I came off as being disrespectful or harsh.
  25. Haha
    AbdusSibtayn reacted to Fakeha in How to turn someone down gently?   
    "hum ko maloom hai shadi ki haqiqat lekin" would be better 
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