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In the Name of God بسم الله

notme

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Everything posted by notme

  1. Salam https://www.latimes.com/politics/story/2022-06-27/supreme-court-rules-for-the-coach-whose-prayers-at-the-50-yard-line-drew-crowds I'd volunteer, but I'm not going to have any all girl classes ....
  2. The country didn't do anything to earn me. I just happened to be born here.
  3. Person with no intrinsic time awareness here. Clocks. Clocks everywhere you look. I'm serious. And some alarms too, but not too many or you'll train yourself to ignore them. Also, if you can talk with your doctor about adhd diagnosis, and if you don't mind being medicated, I hear those modern adhd meds help a lot with executive function. It might be worth looking in to.
  4. Right. We can't use Islam to make proclamations on secular laws. "Civil marriage" is not marriage according to Islam.
  5. She's 13. She's a child, not a woman. It's perverse to hear adult men referring to girls as women.
  6. But you have to hire a lawyer and file these documents with a court. In the case of "legal marriage", it is automatic, for better or for worse.
  7. When I was a child, way back in the previous century, two elderly women lived together in a house in my neighborhood. It never crossed my mind that they might be "a couple". They were just two unmarried women who shared a house. Why would it be wrong for them to designate the other as having power of attorney and the authority to make healthcare decisions on her behalf? This helps not only cohabiting homosexual persons, but also siblings or friends who simply benefit from sharing expenses and having an executor to their estate in the event of their death. Or what if a person's spouse is unable to carry out these duties, or unwilling or untrustworthy? Individualism is a curse brought upon us by capitalism to make us each have to pay for our own entire household. Anything that counters that is a good thing, in my view. But I'm also opposed to government registration of marriages, because it seems to me to be none of their business. Any adult should be able to designate any other adult as their executor and power of attorney.
  8. This is not what I've seen in the United States, though I've personally only seen children raised by two women, not two men, and those children are normal. The people I've known who spent time in foster care were all traumatized by it. Even in the best cases, it's unstable and most cases are not best cases. The people I've known who spent formative years in group homes are in an even worse place, mentally and spiritually. Kids don't really need perfect parents; they need stability and to feel that they are loved.
  9. I was skeptical so I looked it up. It's true; in most US states that a Civil Marriage does not require consummation. Weird.
  10. Sure, problematic. But still better than growing up in foster care or a series of group homes. Personally, I think single folk who want to should be allowed to adopt too.
  11. It's 10 days: Ruling 438. Ḥayḍ cannot last for less than three days or for more than ten days; if bleeding lasts for even a little less than three days, it is not ḥayḍ. https://www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2171/ And here are the rules for bleeding which is not menstruation: https://www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2170/ But please also talk with your health care provider. You might need an adjustment to your medication.
  12. Valid point. But I do not believe we should give our politicians the authority to decide who can marry. Power always corrupts. Less than a half century ago under these same traditions based laws, it was illegal for persons of differing races to marry each other. Clearly, whichever tradition the conservatives are relying upon is not acceptable under Islam. I just don't trust politicians and believe they should be given as little power and for as limited a duration as is needed for them to do their jobs. And I don't trust "Christian values" in the modern political sense. I don't know why anyone does. They're going to come after us eventually, if we let them get to that point.
  13. I wonder if states that outlaw abortion will see an increase in homosexual activity, which has zero possibility of producing an unwanted pregnancy. I know the middle school aged kids are open to the idea, for when they are older.
  14. It's not allowed unless the woman's life is in danger or she will be put into unbearable hardship, but before 4 months it isn't considered killing a person. As I recall, even after 4 months is permitted in the case of medical necessity.
  15. I think who marries who is none of the US government's business. Marriage is a religious practice and our Constitution allegedly mandates separation of church and state. In my opinion the government lacks the authority to tell any two consenting adults that they can't marry, and I do not want to give them that authority, as I'm not prepared to live under a evangelical protestant theocracy. As for teaching young kids about sexuality, that's crazy, let kids be kids. But I've never seen it in the school where I've worked and none of my children have ever seen it. Maybe y'all who have seen this are in more liberal states. I do, however, see kids standing up against bullying of their peers on the basis of perceived sexualty or sexual preference, and it is always a good thing to oppose bullying.
  16. Women in Texas have already been arrested and prosecuted for miscarriage.... I am opposed to abortion in general, as I believe it to be the taking of a human life, but now states can criminalize saving a woman's life. I do believe, as is appropriate according to Islam, that there are some situations in which abortion is necessary. Also, I don't trust politicians to make medical decisions on my or anyone else's behalf. In states like Texas and Missouri, what is the penalty for a man who causes an unwanted pregnancy?
  17. The Quran says nothing on the matter, as far as I can recall. Hopefully someone can present some hadith on parents having a favorite child. It seems wrong to me, but also human nature. I'd also be interested in the answer to your question.
  18. Have you mentioned to them that you'd like them to start looking for a spouse for you?
  19. I also was not referring to intentional deception. If he is exactly who you are looking for, marry him. If you have doubts, look deeper, either into him or into yourself, or both.
  20. People tend to be on their best behavior when trying to win a potential spouse. Maybe something really is off. Do you know anyone who knows him well? Can you talk to any of his relatives or colleagues to find out what kind of person he is when not trying to make a good first impression?
  21. An adult man or woman takes responsibility, not only for himself or herself, but also for those who are in his or her sphere of influence, in particular those relying on him or her for care and guidance. If the husband isn't willing or able to be an adult, the wife is forced to take the role of mother over him. This is very, very unattractive. No mentally stable woman is going to be physically attracted to a man-child, no matter how handsome. Blame is 100% irrelevant.
  22. Feminism. I'm all for women's rights and safety being protected. I am not anti-feminist. But I do think women taking on more responsibility is the reason modern men are taking on less responsibility than past generations. We need to find a new balance.
  23. I gotta be honest, if I didn't have wonderful sons, my life experience could have easily turned me into a man-hater. Men need to step up and be men not boys. Ain't nobody wanna be mother to her husband! Maybe the same is true for women. I wouldn't know, having never married a woman.
  24. If so, there will be revolution. Nobody likes Trump except a few brainwashed white supremacist freaks.
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