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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by notme

  1. If it's been that long, it doesn't matter anymore, even if it ever did.
  2. You can only control yourself. I try to find an excuse for them - it makes me feel better. Maybe they are having a bad day. Maybe they don't realize what they are doing. Maybe they act like that because someone else did the same to them so they think it's normal. It only hurts when it's someone you care about. Anyone else doesn't matter. And even quite a large number of people who you care about have opinions that don't matter.
  3. If a person does not work in the United States, they might be able to minimally subsist, if they are lucky. If you know people who live in luxury without working, someone is paying for luxury for them. I've never met anyone like that.
  4. That's stealing. Yes. You're entitled to your views, but leave other people's stuff alone.
  5. There are people who call themselves Muslim, even Shia, but do not follow the Imams nor the Prophet, but instead follow money or pleasure or power or fear. We will be judged based on how we live. We all will, Muslim and non- Muslim, but following right guidance will guarantee us paradise, while following no or wrong guidance will not rule it out, but will make it more difficult.
  6. Your actions could be a contributing factor, but he is responsible for his own actions and his own emotions, just as you are responsible for yours. Everything affects the children. Just do your best. If you can change some things and make it better, do that, but you are not responsible for the entire mental health of your household.
  7. There is plenty. The problem is a few greedy men who hoard resources.
  8. Because I don't trust the government. We need to be ready to overthrow it, should the need arise. It is one of a few good parts of the ideas that the US was founded upon.
  9. What? Just don't use plastic if you can avoid it. It's going to be the death of humanity. Another day, another mass shooting in the US. I was in Chesapeake the other day, meeting friends for a pizza and to discuss an environmental action we are undertaking, God willing. And two weeks ago I was rain hiking with some friends over there and one of us needed to get dry socks for her daughter and shopped at that Walmart. It's not even shocking anymore. The other day a student confided in me that he had "accidentally" brought a weapon to school. I didn't want the boy to be punished for basically changing his mind away from a bad idea, so I took him to another teacher who I knew I could trust, then she talked with the school counselor on his behalf and the child returned to my class. I'm glad he didn't get expelled or suspended, because he's a sweet kid with a hard life and school is the one stable thing in his life, but I am worried that this might happen again and he might not change his mind the next time. I'm not opposed to people having guns. I think we need to figure out how to change our culture away from one of hopelessness and violence.
  10. Proven? No, absolutely not. Islam is more logically consistent - at least more than the religions that I'm familiar with. I don't know every religion. If another belief made more sense, any sensible person would change their views.
  11. No. I won't rule out the possibility of predestined marriage, but given that marriage always requires consent of both parties, it seems to be a choice. Who you meet in life could be destined, but you choose what to do after that.
  12. Some things are destined, but most things are a result of our or someone else's choices.
  13. Absolute control is probably neither possible nor preferable for most of us. Increased control of thoughts is possible by thinking before we act or speak. It's that simple, and there's no easy way.
  14. Islam is meant to make your life easy, not hard. It's not simply a list of rules to follow, a checklist to avoid hellfire. It's a way of interacting with society. Take it one step at a time. You're doing fine.
  15. If it happens, only one or a few will witness it.
  16. This is not new. This has been a known thing for well over a decade. Scientists don't know the cause, but a strong suspect is plastic, which mimics estrogen in the body and is found everywhere on earth, in all water and all air. We should stop buying it. It's convenient, but not worth the cost to our future.
  17. Some women and men cheat for the thrill of it, but most, it is due to something missing in their relationship with their spouse. A better approach to something missing would be to communicate with the spouse and try to resolve the problem. Really, infidelity is inexcusable under any circumstance, but it's not difficult to be a little understanding. We are raised to be nonconfrontational, so looking for the missing thing elsewhere seems more accessible than dealing with the issue. It won't work though - even if a person starts a new relationship, there is going to be some conflict eventually and the cycle would begin again.
  18. Like: Reminder to act respectably Looks modestly beautiful and elegant Treated better by the general public Feels protective No bad hair days Dislike: Workplace discrimination "Where are you from?" questions from random strangers
  19. This has been widely known for decades.
  20. The first and second wives together. Obviously the man would be able to decline if the wife's (or wives') selection is unacceptable to him, marriage is only valid if there is consent of both parties, but who has more access to and knowledge of Muslim women than Muslim women. Why do you find this idea problematic?
  21. If a man wants a second wife, he should let his first wife choose the second. It seems it would avoid a lot of drama.
  22. All humans are "hard wired" to be attracted to multiple people. All humans are also "hard wired" to eat sugar in preference to healthy foods, but that doesn't mean we can't choose based on reason over instinct.
  23. I think they do not mind polygamy. They just don't limit it to men having multiple wives. Though why in the world would any woman want more than one husband? Ugh!
  24. It only somewhat matters. People will tell untruth without even intending to lie. The way they see themselves is not the same as how others see them. Best to ask an honest person who knows the potential spouse, or take a long time getting to know them and take notes, or just take a risk and hope for the best.
  25. This "destruction of the family" is a right wing lie. Nuclear family is not synonymous with family. Nuclear family is the destruction of families and communities for the purpose of capitalist gain. As muslims, we should support family and community, not "nuclear family" as a mandatory ideal.
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