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In the Name of God بسم الله


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Everything posted by notme

  1. You and your wife shouldn't live apart. Is it impossible to get a job while you're a student? Supporting two people financially isn't very much more than supporting one person financially. How are you surviving now? Basically, it seems her parents want plausible deniability for if you back out of the marriage, so that she won't been seen as "used" in her community. Be discreet and use reliable birth control, but no birth control and no amount of discretion is 100% effective.
  2. I don't think there's a best way for you to talk with them about this, but hopefully your husband can. If nothing else, he can demand that they not send photos that include her and delay visits with them until she has moved on.
  3. The Story of Earth: The First 4.5 Billion Years, from Stardust to Living Planet I'm finding it fascinating. I knew I liked geology, but this is up there with some of the best astronomy books I've read. Maybe I should reevaluate my future career plans. Or maybe it's just really well written. In any event, I recommend this book if you're looking for a scientist's view on the formation of the Earth. Who knew rocks could be so captivating?
  4. Neither isolation nor celibacy are sins.
  5. You're far more patient than I would have been.
  6. I actually got invited by an acquaintance to attend a NOI mosque, but I didn't go based on what I know of their beliefs. I look totally white and talk like an educated hillbilly. Probably some groups are more open than others.
  7. Honestly, logic and the tradition of seeking knowledge. But what pushed me to do more research was some Sunni friends assuring me of the sahih-ness of a horribly mysoginistic hadith. I realize now that we've got our share of horrific hadith too, but we're less likely to demand unquestioning compliance.
  8. I've been Muslim since 2004 and Shia since 2005, and I've never found a Shia community near me. I found the online presence of one community in a city where I used to live, but when I contacted them, they told me strangers were not welcome. After a while I stopped trying. I'm used to being alone anyway. But I have always lived in a southern US small city or town. I'm sure the experience of urban dwellers is different.
  9. Because it is very logical. Because Shia Islam encourages questions.
  10. It's probably usually inappropriate, but occasionally might make sense if there is a greater good to be gained from publication, such as awareness of an issue, illness, or situation that people might benefit from knowing about.
  11. If you're offering, I'll take either. Thanks.
  12. Lying is intentional deception. If you make an oath that you have no intention of keeping, that may also be a lie, but if you intend to keep it and then don't, it's not a lie, it's a broken promise.
  13. John. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Trump
  14. Allah is infinite in mercy, but repentance has to be sincere. If repentance is sincere, that sin is much less likely to be repeated. Mercy on the Day of Judgment does not necessarily free a person from consequences of his or her actions.
  15. We met on a secular matchmaking site. He lived farther away than I really preferred, but there were no acceptable Muslim men in my area. Everyone I had encountered was either already married or not marriageable.
  16. It's good weather for lawn work. My goal is to either wake my teenager who wants to mow the lawn, or mow it myself. Maybe later I'll take the small people to the beach or a playground.
  17. @IbnSina I don't believe you and I are really in disagreement, we just look at things differently. I value the existence of marjas for guidance, and as I said before, I consider myself to be a follower. My main point is that I'd like to see improvement to the system. There is so much secular information available, such that any literate layman can educate himself about medicine or bridge building. I'd like to see our scholars take advantage of this increased ease of distribution of information. But as @Sumerian said, maybe it's available in Arabic, just not available yet for those of us who haven't studied Arabic to proficiency. That might be all that needs to be done - translation to all the world's languages so that all of Islam really is for everyone.
  18. notme

    Ate/Eating/Will Eat?

    Ha! I said my ex-mother-in-law had success on a diet! I've never dieted a day in my life! (Maybe I should. Hmm.) Besides, school is out for summer. If I'm having lunch, I'm feeding kids. Supper was fairly healthy though: noodles with steamed broccoli, garlic, and parsley.
  19. If my doctor can't take the time to deal with each patient as a person, I'll go see a different one. I don't know what doctors you've been to. I'm sorry about your negative experience though. That's absurd and elitist. Most of us contribute to our society in other ways. If everyone who wanted to understand Islam became a religious scholar, there would be nobody left to teach, build, and feed the masses! You really think it's not important to know why we do what we do? That just blows my mind. I can't relate. I can't fathom not caring about why. Obviously there would be exceptions, but that doesn't invalidate my point.
  20. Doctors will provide as much information as they can in the allotted time of the appointment, then point you in the right direction to do your own research and encourage going for a second opinion if you don't understand how they've reached their diagnosis. This analogy has failed you by supporting exactly my point. Why are some questions and answers on the website, then? Why not publish all questions, so that others can benefit?
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