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In the Name of God بسم الله


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    Shia Muslima

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  1. No sorry that's not true . He can't do that. That is just what you call power and dominance. A man doesn't have the right to do that.
  2. Firstly , i want to discuss something , that many people are abusing. I hear people saying things like 1- a man doesn't need consent to Marry a second wife (temporary or permanently) 2- a man can pressurise his wife/force her to have intercourse with him I just want to point out that just because there are some females out there wanting a sisterly wife , allowing a polygamous marriage to occur , not all do. And this can creat UNBELIEVABLE a fitna. If you force a female to accept that sort of marriage, jealousy & hate is bound to take place. You may selfishly say that jealousy and envy is HARRAM, but what is more harram than being the culprit of that jealousy? It's haram to make your wife jealous. It's painful for us females. In the Quran it says you may marry 4, but you have to treat them equally. However you won't even if you tried. Now what does that show? A man does have the ability to create equality financially amongst two wives , but never share that fair love. That's what the Quran is referring to. It's crazy how some people can be so oppressive to women. We cook . Clean. Our physical appearance starts to diminish , and you think that you can go away & get another wife , like we're some light bulbs that you replace when we wane This isn't justicious . It's very oppressive. What person wants to live this life . How can a person go & marry a second with a stupid intention of being fair, when he wasn't even fair to his first wife by not asking her for consent ?! & another thing. How can someone go and think that it's okay for him to rape his wife ! His wife ! We are taught to live peacefully & securely by wearing hijab . But then you turn around once you're married to a female & pressurise her or force her to have sex with you. I can't emphasise on how rape can traumatise ones life . One's psychology. If the penalty of raping a random girl is death, how can marital rape ever be justified? May Allah protect you women & men. That is all I have to say. I am disgusted by this. We are to disunited and it's so easy to become victims . I hear clerics TRYING to justify that sort of behaviour by saying , a man goes out for months to fight for his country, well it's sad because the females in that country are being mentally/verbally & physically abused. Imam Jafar Al Sadiq says- do not cheat the one's that trust you. Just because men are maintainers of women it doesn't mean you're the boss and were youre slave. It just means you're that physically built figure that can protect us and provide for us. Nothing more, nothing less. I just want you to think about that a really. Contemplate about the females that you've hurt with your spiteful words or actions. Why would you want to hurt the one who carried you or your child for 9 months, where heaven lies under feet? Why would you want to hurt the one that opened the doors of heaven for your father or her father? I am really ashamed of this website , & inshallah I'll be leaving it. I can't believe rape culture still exists . We don't need sources to validate our rights when we see hijab symbolising our freedom & enables credibility... It's crazy. I don't want to be a part of any culture, the arab or whatever there is . - I have so much to say, but it just chokes me up , as I totally give up .
  3. Bismillah al rahman Al raheem Sallam Alaikum That is a complete disgrace . It's so unfortunate how little boys nowadays think polygamy is allowed whenever they want. Do you realise that there came a time when the banu Ummayads would burn up the holy scriptures to stop from the real message from sending. It is crazy how most of the males in this forum pay attention to only the things a man can do. You hardly look at the strict conditions Allah has bestowed upon us all. Allah tells the men that they can marry 4, but they cannot be fair even if they tried . However , if you cannot be fair then ony marry one. Is this not obvious enough for you? To take a 16 year old to identify that consent from the wife is very necessary. When a man gives more attention to another one of his wife, the unlawful acts that the wife does (the one that doesn't get enough attention) , her sins fall on the man. You make it seem so easy for a man to wake up , eat burp & then walk out & marry whoever he wants Sometimes i wonder why you people ask there are moderate people who view islam as unacceptable . Please don't taint the message of islam. Islam God's religion where he has granted us rules for our benefit , not to hurt us! Why are there still heartless men towards women? Did Imam Hussain a.s not fight for human rights? Do women somehow not fall under the 'human' category? We need to educate people more about islam. Where is the gender equality? . This isn't a man's world. It is for both Prophet Muhammad pbuh even said women are twin halves of men. ~ we are one half , the men are the other, in society. Stop tainting the message of islam please.
  4. Sallam Alaykum Advice from a sister .. I personally think that keeping a blessing since you're trying to get to know eachother , is really important. Keeping her interested isn't the main issue , because that goes under the issue of trying to keep the barriers. If you're good at keeping the barriers then alhamdulilah takes you to the next level. Try to find the commons, like start with anything basic , ask her general things , if you guys are studying , ask her what subjects she's interested in , anything she would like to take. - the best thing a couple can do , is make a strong friendship . Just make sure you build trust & that she will be comfterable with you (as a friend that is) . - ask her about her future ambitions Find the similarities and differences (learn to accept those and admire those differences) - if you're really shy , its okay infact its a good thing , that way you wouldn't get too comfterable. - once you get to know eachother .. Please make sure that nothing changes in a negative way, as in... Try not to get too attached. Make sure things don't change. As in, if you act all committed and like you really want to get to know her in the beginning but then all of that stops half way.. That (in some cases) increases the risk of a weak relationship. (Btw not gf and bf) i mean a halal friendship that has the potential to turn into a marriage. There is something I'd like to highlight brother. (To all brothers and sisters) . You do your part , & let Allah do the rest. Do not worry because your spouses are already written. The thing is, you're just gonna have to do your little part . An ideal husband is a God fearing/loving man . Why? For many reasons 1) Any man or woman that is God fearing would try hard to avoid shortcomings because they fear the consequences. Ie.. Disatisfying Allah. 2) Any Man or Woman that is God loving, they will love you /anyone great fully , exactly the way Allah would want His creatures to be loved. Allah wants the best for us, so how much love do you think we deserve ? Everything righteous and ideal will fall under that category of having a perfect stable relationship/marriage life .. Once you have a close relationship with Allah swt. Remember , marriage is about sacrifice (obviously to a certain extent) where , when you're shy you tend to avoid things because in a way they seem a little scary - butterflies in your tummy- facepalm- blushing- kind of thing ... Try to face these fears, its not really a fear but i describes the symptoms above for that kind of fear lol . Anyways , its perfectly normal and fine to be shy.. Infact embrace it because it could stop you from doing things wrong. Now Inshallah inshallah things go great. Try to read some verses and kind of dedicate them to stabilise a relationship or it helps find that love before it is even introduced. This could strengthen everything inshallah .. وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect. One last thing . It takes 2 people to make or break a relationship .
  5. I agree 100% , to be honest.. if it wasn't for Lowkey & Immortal technique , i wouldn't have been so engrossed into politics. Infact I find these political raps really beneficial, I'm not a fan of rap , however the lyrics of these political activists are amazing. A fantastic answer brother !
  6. Sallam sisters I have a little problem, some of you might relate ... Sometimes I come off too insecure. I don't always show it but only to those who I trust. Thing is, i'm worried that my low self esteem will affect me so much that i will doubt my self for ever being good enough for a future spouse. I already think i'm not good enough. I tend to compare my self with other females, i wasn't like this before but I guess because i'm a teenager it starts to really kick in. The things that i compare my self regards; looks, intelligence & things i'd rather not mention. Is it normal that i'm like this. Coz its really starting to affect me badly. That whenever a person discusses future marriage I always end up feeling upset & guilty. I feel so inadequate. I know I sound selfish & ungrateful , so how do I overcome this. Please helpp
  7. Thank you for answering , i honestly don't know why they freak out. Like if they keep the barriers and then when they're older they can tell their parents.. I know it could be a distraction for them but like i'm sure it all depends on how they manage their time. + mutah at a young age is not really something parents would even want to hear.
  8. How can you track down a number? I've been getting calls from withheld numbers too. From a person i don't even know
  9. Its not about mutah they're after. But thanks for the replies :)
  10. The guy is old enough to get married, but she isn't . But due to islamic law she is.
  11. I know a friend that has been talking to a brother with a pure intention of getting married. Their conversations contain barriers & ground rules ie. no lustful lines . The thing is, they can't get married yet because theh both are young& are still studdying, they cant tell the parents because they will freak out due to age... In this case, what should she do? continue talking to him but still maintain these barriers or Are these conversations still harram? They don't include things like 'I love you' & 'we will live together' & whatnot . It's more like Inshallah if things work out & its if Allah wills it. If its harram then what should she do?
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