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In the Name of God بسم الله

Deewan

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  1. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from Hameedeh in Life Expectancy Calculator   
    I got 84. Not sure if I believe this...
  2. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from hasanhh in Sugar Cravings   
    The increase in your cravings for "sweet carbs" may just be a reflection of increased intake of and therefore dependence on sugars. The lay-term "sugar" is often used in place of glucose and really obfuscates what carbs are and what they do once consumed. Your body breaks down all carbs you consume into glucose which is then absorbed into the bloodstream via the gut. If you're eating simple/refined carbs (aka starches) like sugar (i.e. your everyday sugar you put in your tea), potatoes, refined white breads etc then your gut is able to very quickly break down the simple starches into glucose and very quickly absorb them into the blood. This results in a rapid rise in blood glucose levels (or blood sugar levels) which elicits rapid release of insulin from the pancreas. In such situations, the insulin response is usually over the top. Thus, you end up with more insulin than required causing glucose to be rapidly absorbed from the blood into muscle, liver, and fat cells. The blood glucose level rapidly drops, often dipping below the optimal levels needed in the blood. Ergo, you feel a lack of energy/hunger/cravings for more glucose and the cycle repeats itself.
    The overwhelming majority of desserts, packaged foods, and snack items contain refined carbs (cereals, breads, cakes, pastries, chips, confectionery, drinks, and most fruits etc). You should try to avoid them. Go for unrefined carbs as much as possible. Go for wholemeal foodstuffs with high fibre content. They take longer for your gut to breakdown into glucose, therefore there is a less rapid rise in the blood glucose level. That prompts a slower release of insulin which is better matched and thus more likely to result in optimal blood glucose levels.
  3. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from Islandsandmirrors in Sugar Cravings   
    The increase in your cravings for "sweet carbs" may just be a reflection of increased intake of and therefore dependence on sugars. The lay-term "sugar" is often used in place of glucose and really obfuscates what carbs are and what they do once consumed. Your body breaks down all carbs you consume into glucose which is then absorbed into the bloodstream via the gut. If you're eating simple/refined carbs (aka starches) like sugar (i.e. your everyday sugar you put in your tea), potatoes, refined white breads etc then your gut is able to very quickly break down the simple starches into glucose and very quickly absorb them into the blood. This results in a rapid rise in blood glucose levels (or blood sugar levels) which elicits rapid release of insulin from the pancreas. In such situations, the insulin response is usually over the top. Thus, you end up with more insulin than required causing glucose to be rapidly absorbed from the blood into muscle, liver, and fat cells. The blood glucose level rapidly drops, often dipping below the optimal levels needed in the blood. Ergo, you feel a lack of energy/hunger/cravings for more glucose and the cycle repeats itself.
    The overwhelming majority of desserts, packaged foods, and snack items contain refined carbs (cereals, breads, cakes, pastries, chips, confectionery, drinks, and most fruits etc). You should try to avoid them. Go for unrefined carbs as much as possible. Go for wholemeal foodstuffs with high fibre content. They take longer for your gut to breakdown into glucose, therefore there is a less rapid rise in the blood glucose level. That prompts a slower release of insulin which is better matched and thus more likely to result in optimal blood glucose levels.
  4. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from Inner Peace in Marital Rape; A Husband's Right   
    Ws. I apologise, I know I was rude but it was out of deep frustration with the status quo, i.e. the lack of imagination and innovation occurring within the Islamic sciences, particularly in fiqh. Your openness to criticism is a breath of fresh air and very much appreciated. In fact, that's exactly what I'm trying to get at.
    As someone who has experienced, witnessed, and counseled victims of abuse, and now as a medical student, I have a responsibility to the patients and communities I will be serving. Moreover, I am particularly interested in social, psychological, and economic determinants of health, and this issue is quite important in that respect as well. First and foremost, we should be aware that the recognition of spousal rape is a fairly new concept. Even Western societies, often deemed to be progressive when it comes to matters of gender equity, did not recognize spousal rape as a criminal offense until several decades ago. So my criticism of the article isn't simply for the sake of criticizing Islam, but out of a genuine desire to see Muslim communities reflect the progressive, revolutionary and inclusive essence of Islam and part of my duties as a health professional to advocate for policies that result in better outcomes of health and overall well-being.
    It is my perception, perhaps illusory, that Islam prospered as a religion not simply because of fiqh, but because it challenged barbaric social, legal, and economic structures of the time. It gave voice to the voiceless--women, slaves, orphans, minorities, the poor etc. Increasingly, and especially in the last two centuries of Islam's encounter with the West, a general attitude has emerged of accepting the West's technological and scientific developments but rejecting all social, moral, economic, and political progress and innovation. It's a sad, I would even go so far as to say pathetic, condition that most of the Muslim world is afflicted with--imitate the West in its materialistic pursuits but reject any sensible intellectual progress as foreign and therefore diametrically opposed to Islam simply because someone in the West thought of it first. The list is endless... constitutionalism, democracy, women's rights etc. This is despite the fact that Islam gave dignity to women, slaves, racial and religious minorities etc. Europe learned of soap, medicine, Socrates, mathematics etc from Muslims and now it's Europeans and Westerners trying to convince Muslims why it's important to vaccinate children against polio and other fatal diseases.
    All this to say, that it's long past the time to inject some freshness into our religious institutions, to think critically and holistically on issues with multiple points of views, and multiple level of analyses. Fiqh has within it the flexibility to grow, prosper and enlighten our thinking on problems old and new, but it has been a victim of its practitioners who refuse to think outside the box until it's too late. Didn't most scholars of the 19th and early 20th century object to notions of rule of law, constitutionalism, democracy, women's franchise etc? Now those opposed to such ideals are considered the fringe, but loud, voices like the Taliban, AQ, and Boko Haram.
    So yes, I'm glad that you're thinking about this issue in particular with sincerity. But I think you need to go further, much further, than you have so far. Sexual intercourse between a man and woman epitomizes the peak of love and trust between two individuals. Anything short of that is not much better than one partner using the other for sexual pleasure, akin to masturbating with the partner's body, like I said in my previous post. I learned this from Islam, not from the West (which, btw, is influenced heavily by its own Christian past, and we all know the abhorrence Christianity has had historically towards sex!). So if the wife has no convincing reason legally--or even no reason at all--to reject the husband, voices like yours, speaking in the name of Islam, should still categorically reject any avenue that leads to abuse. Let's face it, if a marriage has reached such a low point, there's far more that needs to be fixed than the man's sexual satisfaction.
    You've qualified the article by saying that it discusses the issue of spousal rape within a specific legal sense. But these arbitrary boundaries shouldn't exist. In fact, someone who's been through abuse won't read this article and think that this is the legal stuff, now let me look at what else there is. This will simply be seen as "what Islam says about spousal rape". Instead, what you write and say should inspire confidence in the minds of those who have undergone abuse or may be subjected to it in the future, to have the confidence to speak up, to feel that their community and their religious compatriots care for them and will understand what they've been through. It should also clearly call out abusers and potential abusers, for what they really are and give them no excuse or space to commit their heinous acts under the umbrella of Islam. Anything short of that would be abdication of duty and that's already quite prevalent in our communities. I don't need to point out how corrosive that is to the well-being of individuals, families, and the overall community.
  5. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from Inner Peace in Marital Rape; A Husband's Right   
    The very title of the article "Marital Rape; Husband's Right?" is nauseating, but I forced myself to read on anyways. It exemplifies all that is wrong with Muslim communities today: How about looking at spousal rape for what it is--the worst possible breach of trust that a wife would have for her husband--instead of some sort of an abstract theoretical question on 'husband's rights' and 'domestic violence'.
    I'm afraid you're out of touch with reality, as is evident from your elementary understanding of assault and of domestic violence. You can't just reduce Islam to a single aspect of itself, it's legal code, which in itself is starting to reeks of dead flesh because of the rigidities placed on it by unimaginative exponents. The very premise of sexual activity is mutual love and admiration of the partners for each other. One doesn't need to look very deep into the Quran or the Prophetic Tradition to see how much emphasis God and His Prophet have placed on loving relationships and specific instructions that promote intimate relationship. Way to go in throwing water all over that. Essentially, what you're advocating as legal can best be described as the husband masturbating with his wife's body, and at worst it's an irreversible physical and psychological violation of the wife that shakes the core of her being.
    From a medical point of view, I couldn't agree with Maryaam any more. Very few assaults or other types of unwanted sexual contact leave any lasting physical damage. So rest assured, I'll rarely see 'marital rape equated with domestic violence' that you are referring to. In fact, many women do not even report rapes, especially spousal rapes, for very long periods. By the time they do seek help, if at all, they've already suffered psychologically. The reason for that are the perverse social structures erected by people like you who fail to see blatant disregard for another human being's well-being that your words and ideologies carry.
    I'm glad you took the time to reconsider the question you were asked and were able to come up with a slightly more nuanced answer the second time around. You've even consulted some books on the topic of marriage. How about seeking the counsel of doctors, psychologists, community & social workers, and perhaps even women who've been raped. You live in Sydney, you wouldn't have to go very far or look very hard to find this resources.
  6. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from starlight in Barriers For Marriage.   
    Another barrier to marriage is the wide availability of potable water and microwaves. Completely makes women redundant and prevents many of the 'brothers' from ever having a serious need to get married.
     
    :rolleyes:
  7. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from starlight in Barriers For Marriage.   
    magma looks like you forgot to mention how Obamacare is destroying Islam in addition to feminism :dry:
     
    A delicate balance between the secretions of testosterone and estrogen is all that you've going in your favor to issue diatribes about the 'radical' idea that women aren't the property of men. You should probably thank God every day of your life that He didn't give you any ovaries, you clearly lack the fortitude to adequately carry the burden they would entail in the social circumstances of your liking.
     
    The problem you describe, while applicable to industrial societies in general, does not apply to Muslim subsets.
     
    Let me clarify what I meant by maturity. I don't think that education, financial stability etc are prerequisites per se for marriage--at least in the case of those of us living in Western countries that provide a decent social cushion. I am assuming (and mostly rightly so) that most of our parents moved to the West with little more than the clothes on their backs. In many cases, they had their children with them in an entirely new country, little transferable skills, problematic language skills etc etc. But in spite of all the things they didn't have, they were able to prevail (to varying degrees): settled into a new country, raised their children, even pitched in to help relatives back home who may not have been doing so well. Their marriages didn't break apart on a mass scale because of these upheavals (of course, there are exceptions to all of this!).
     
    The reason things like education and financial stability have become important is because they're seen as the tangible indicators of an individual's maturity. There's no other way for most people to judge maturity. However, in truth, and especially in the West, these things can provide little guarantee of someone's maturity or that a relationship will actually prosper. We all know how quickly the boom and bust cycles of Western economies can devastate entire sectors (automotive in North America and Australia?). In my view, maturity is the ability to overcome adverse emotional, financial, and social circumstances. How many (relatively) young people like you and I have the maturity, confidence, and the will power to pack up and migrate like the previous generation did without little guarantees for the future? Perhaps, what I'm describing is an extreme case. But I think the general qualities required to successfully overcome any crisis--personal, social, financial, emotional etc.--are generally the same.
     
    Part of the problem, arguably, lies with the parents: a lot of kids around me have been raised without adequate opportunities for that kind of personal growth, i.e. not telling the kids to find a job when they're old enough, not forcing them to do fair share of house chores (or piling it all on daughters), in most cases keeping them at home or close to home for university, (and my personal favourite) making them all study engineering, accounting or hard sciences. When you have limited interaction with the world that you're living in, you obviously won't be prepared to deal with that world. And, I should emphasize her, most girls are afforded far fewer opportunities--education, career growth, extra-curricular--than what their male counterparts are, so they're usually at an even bigger disadvantage than males.
  8. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from starlight in Motherhood   
    How old are you and what do you really know about feminism? May be you can begin by defining what feminism is for you?
     
    Have you considered that perhaps feminism is a struggle by women (and men) for the humanity, equal person-hood and rights for these same women that you seem to empathize for?
     
    Perhaps I can contextualize it for you...
     
    A couple I know very well were married off by their parents in their mid-teens, as per the custom of those days. The girl, I'll call her Sofia, had lived a miserable life prior to her marriage. Sofia was the seventh of seven sisters. Sofia's father would abuse her mother daily for not bearing a son and finally ended up marrying a second time. The mother, already ill from various diseases couldn't cope with the abuse and humiliation, and soon died. After her mother's death, Sofia was kicked out of her father's house (all the other sisters had already been married off, at a very young age). She lived with various relatives before she was married off to a teenager we'll call Daoud. Daoud was still completing high school but was a brilliant student in a deeply impoverished area of Pakistan. After finishing his high school, he went off to college in the city - a first in the entire extended family.
     
    He would visit regularly during his time at college. Daoud and Sofia had two kids during this time. Both passed away while still infants, Sofia was probably too young to have been pregnant and this was complicated by the fact that there were no health facilities in about a 100 km radius. Daoud spent the next few years and slowly changed. He studied hard, achieved what no one in the entire family--nay tribe--could have imagined and became a high ranking government official. By the time they had their third child (the first one to have actually survived infancy) there was little in common between Daoud and Sofia. Daoud was a high ranking official and counted amongst his friends politicians, doctors, military officers etc. Sofia was thoroughly illiterate and didn't speak a word of Pakistan's national language Urdu, let alone English. There was no way Daoud was going to let her continue to embarrass him in front of his friends. But he had no choice, so he put up with her.
     
    By the time, they had their third child, Daoud was recognized for his extraordinary service and sent on extended training abroad. Following his departure, some of his employees sympathetic to his wife divulged that he had secretly married another woman and that she had accompanied him. Sofia was devastated but raised the three kids without him for the next two years while he continued to lie to her about his second marriage, rejecting the rumors as malicious rumors whose intent was to destroy his reputation. Sofia hoped against hope and despite the wealth of evidence continued to believe him because she loved him dearly even though he had never really reciprocated in any meaningful way.
     
    When he finally did return to Pakistan two years later, it quickly became obvious that he had indeed been lying the whole time and had spent the two years abroad with his second wife. Sofia accepted this as Allah's will and decided to move on with things despite how difficult it was for her. Having spent two years abroad, Daoud could not settle back in Pakistan. So he applied to immigrate and return permanently. As the process was going on, he assured Sofia that they would all be going. By this time, Daoud had his first child with the second wife. When the immigration process finally concluded, it became apparent that Sofia was never a part of the process. So at first, she refused to part with her kids. But it quickly dawned on her that when her kids grew up, the would never be able to have the opportunities that would be available to their step-siblings. So she made heart-wrenching decision and decided to let the kids go with their father, after the father promised to sponsor her as soon as they arrived in their new country. Of course that was bs again.
     
    This happened approx 15 years ago. Sofia is still in Pakistan. Her children are grown and in various stages of completing university. Her love and prayers have brought them many successes, educational and otherwise. But nothing can undo the decade and a half of separation she has had to endure from her kids -- which, btw, continues to this day.
     
    You might think this is an isolated story, but it really isn't. You'll find plenty. Now, I'd like to draw your attention to the following:
    What if she had had access to the same education opportunities as a child that her husband did? What if there had been a minimum age law for marriage that was actually observed and enforced? What if she had been informed of her rights in family law/Islamic law so that she could've stipulated conditions to protect herself in her marriage and prevent her husband from taking another wife? What if there had been a focus on reproductive health, women's health, and neonatal health when women like Sofia were carrying child after child only to end up burying them within several months after giving birth to them? What if she lived in a society where someone gave a %$#@ about her and realized that while she loves her children to death, that she too is a person with  emotional, physical, and social needs? The country in which her children now reside does not recognize polygamy. However, there was a recent challenge to those laws heavily supported by feminist lawyers, yes feminist lawyers, because by banning polygamy this law while seeming to protect women, actually robs women like Sofia of the rights that are due to them. This is what has complicated her children's ability to sponsor her. What if the court had not taken a paternalistic view of women and invalidated this legislation and recognized the unique conditions that many women like Sofia find themselves in? Sofia has literally given her life away for her children. She's the illiterate mother you claim to sympathize with. But she's a feminist, who wishes that all of the above could've been but it wasn't. So she's making sure that other girls have every opportunity they possibly can within a society in which women continue to make sacrifices that they shouldn't have to, in the name of religion, honour, family, culture, etc.
  9. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from starlight in Sex addiction/need advice.   
    Given what you've stated about your partner, I'm inclined to assume that he has a fairly long list of sexual partners. You should get yourself tested for STIs as soon as possible, if you haven't already. You should also get the HPV vaccination as well if you're within the recommended age range.
    This case is an excellent example of why all girls (and boys) should be immunised against HPV before they become sexually active. Too often females in the Muslim and other conservative communities refuse immunisation against HPV because some equate it to a license to promiscuity. The result, such as in a case like this, could be catastrophic.
  10. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from Al-Hassan in My Left Eye...   
    Usually the replacement lens is good for life. So why this problem has occurred needs to be investigated by a proper medical professional. There's nothing in your post for even an eye surgeon to be able to answer the question you are asking. Only an ophthalmologist/surgeon can answer your queries after doing a physical examination and reviewing your full medical history. (Age, smoking history, diabetes status, previous history of major illnesses/surgeries, type of cataract, type of cataract surgery, surgical complications, complications in the recovery phase, family history, work/social history, etc. are just some of the factors that go into a proper assessment of what might be going on.)
     
    There is an information page on cataract by the US National Eye Institute that can give you some background, but you're best off leaving such questions for the appropriate health professional.
     
    https://www.nei.nih.gov/health/cataract/cataract_facts
  11. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from AhlulBayt_313 in My Left Eye...   
    Usually the replacement lens is good for life. So why this problem has occurred needs to be investigated by a proper medical professional. There's nothing in your post for even an eye surgeon to be able to answer the question you are asking. Only an ophthalmologist/surgeon can answer your queries after doing a physical examination and reviewing your full medical history. (Age, smoking history, diabetes status, previous history of major illnesses/surgeries, type of cataract, type of cataract surgery, surgical complications, complications in the recovery phase, family history, work/social history, etc. are just some of the factors that go into a proper assessment of what might be going on.)
     
    There is an information page on cataract by the US National Eye Institute that can give you some background, but you're best off leaving such questions for the appropriate health professional.
     
    https://www.nei.nih.gov/health/cataract/cataract_facts
  12. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from mina in My Left Eye...   
    Usually the replacement lens is good for life. So why this problem has occurred needs to be investigated by a proper medical professional. There's nothing in your post for even an eye surgeon to be able to answer the question you are asking. Only an ophthalmologist/surgeon can answer your queries after doing a physical examination and reviewing your full medical history. (Age, smoking history, diabetes status, previous history of major illnesses/surgeries, type of cataract, type of cataract surgery, surgical complications, complications in the recovery phase, family history, work/social history, etc. are just some of the factors that go into a proper assessment of what might be going on.)
     
    There is an information page on cataract by the US National Eye Institute that can give you some background, but you're best off leaving such questions for the appropriate health professional.
     
    https://www.nei.nih.gov/health/cataract/cataract_facts
  13. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from blu115 in Hadith About Kidney Stones?   
    Blu115, the most well known genetic disease that we know of is cystic fibrosis. By well known, I mean that it has been studied across the globe because its incidence in Europeans is quite high. Even so, the breakthrough in gene therapy for CF is very recent, limited to the most predominant mutations, and still in experimental stages. In contrast, primary hypoxaluria is a much rarer disease and exists mainly in Mediterranean populations. There's very little advanced research in it, so gene therapy won't be a realistic option for it for the foreseeable future.
     
    Spiritual engagement etc are important in your overall well-being. So I wouldn't stop you from that. But you do need to be well informed about your health so you can effectively manage your disease. Your ability to manage the disease depends on your disease status, age, financial ability, family support, the expertise of your doctor(s), and the healthcare system around you, among many other factors. A liver transplant would be useful only if you were facing imminent liver failure. Consult your specialist, find out what your disease status is at the moment. Learn about the necessary health and lifestyle changes that can help you prevent stones in the first place (for example, increasing fluid intake). Have regular health checks to stay abreast of your liver and kidney functions etc. There are many disease like diabetes or celiac disease that have no cure, but proper management can ensure that you're in very good health.
  14. Like
    Deewan reacted to Akbar673 in Weak Memory   
    Excessive sugar, lack of sleep and depression are all contributing factors to memory problems. As well as ADHD. 
     
    A good night's sleep with a limit on your sugar intake works wonders for helping memory retention.
  15. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from Maryaam in Hadith About Kidney Stones?   
    There is no cure for primary hypoxaluria, only treatments available to manage it. Please try not to go off the advice of random lay people on the web. Since you've already done that, you're actually doing the exact opposite of what's recommended. You should not be fasting! High fluid intake is extremely important.
     
    The stuff about "alkalizing" your body is ridiculous. Our bodies' plasma is closely guarded within a pH range of 7.35 to 7.45. The body self-corrects any disturbances, and if it is unable to correct the disturbance in pH within a reasonable amount of time, all metabolic activity will shut down.
  16. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from Gaius I. Caesar in Hadith About Kidney Stones?   
    There is no cure for primary hypoxaluria, only treatments available to manage it. Please try not to go off the advice of random lay people on the web. Since you've already done that, you're actually doing the exact opposite of what's recommended. You should not be fasting! High fluid intake is extremely important.
     
    The stuff about "alkalizing" your body is ridiculous. Our bodies' plasma is closely guarded within a pH range of 7.35 to 7.45. The body self-corrects any disturbances, and if it is unable to correct the disturbance in pH within a reasonable amount of time, all metabolic activity will shut down.
  17. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from Ali Musaaa :) in Hadith About Kidney Stones?   
    There is no cure for primary hypoxaluria, only treatments available to manage it. Please try not to go off the advice of random lay people on the web. Since you've already done that, you're actually doing the exact opposite of what's recommended. You should not be fasting! High fluid intake is extremely important.
     
    The stuff about "alkalizing" your body is ridiculous. Our bodies' plasma is closely guarded within a pH range of 7.35 to 7.45. The body self-corrects any disturbances, and if it is unable to correct the disturbance in pH within a reasonable amount of time, all metabolic activity will shut down.
  18. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from King in Hadith About Kidney Stones?   
    There is no cure for primary hypoxaluria, only treatments available to manage it. Please try not to go off the advice of random lay people on the web. Since you've already done that, you're actually doing the exact opposite of what's recommended. You should not be fasting! High fluid intake is extremely important.
     
    The stuff about "alkalizing" your body is ridiculous. Our bodies' plasma is closely guarded within a pH range of 7.35 to 7.45. The body self-corrects any disturbances, and if it is unable to correct the disturbance in pH within a reasonable amount of time, all metabolic activity will shut down.
  19. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from zaidali in Help With Refraining From These Sin   
    My advice won't be of much help if you want something grounded in contemporary orthodox religious views...
     
    Stop panicking about masturbation! It's normal human behaviour and despite the pseudo-scientific views that emerged in European Enlightenment there is zero evidence to suggest it causes any harm. The idea that you can starve yourself or focus your energies on sports etc and it will keep your thoughts deflected is also borne out of the same pseudoscience and was preached heavily by puritanical doctors and others. The same stuff later seeped into Muslim societies, which is why most people here will tell you how bad masturbation is, even though the evidence points quite clearly to the contrary.
     
    As far as pornography is concerned, it's not pornography in and of itself that is the problem. There's increasing evidence that access to a huge variety of inaccurate portrayals of human sexuality, especially in the age of high speed internet is leading to warped ideas about sex, especially in young men, and the ability to watch multiple videos and types of pornography in one go is causing young men in particular to have problems when it comes to actual sexual activity with a partner. So, that's something you do need to concentrate on removing out of your life as much as you can. There are multiple ways to do that and you can try to do what's best for you: limit your time on the Internet, try not to access the Internet when alone, stay away from your tech devices altogether if you can help it, pursue hobbies that keep you engrossed etc..
     
    Finally, for those saying that you need to stop looking at women etc: BS. You're in a western country and you cannot and should not avoid interactions with women. To avoid them IS to reduce them to sexual objects. It is possible and desirable to maintain a healthy and respectful interaction with the opposite gender. If segregation was such a useful tool, there would be less perverts in highly segregated societies like Saudi Arabia.
     
    I know you're struggling at the moment with the onslaught of puberty, the splurge of testosterone and to balance all that with spiritual and religious guidelines. Stop feeling miserable, it's normal to feel what you feel and go through what you're going through -- everyone goes through it. Focus on school, eat healthy, exercise and stay engaged socially and intellectually.
  20. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from Hameedeh in Rewind The Future   
  21. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from Hameedeh in Marriage Proposal By Someone Who Is Infertile   
    It's possible that having children wasn't ever his priority. At what age and which type of cancer did he get? Usually patients undergoing cancer treatment that poses a risk to the health of their sperm or egg cells are given that information. Those who do want kids would ostensibly make an effort to take advantage of the technology we have available. If I was in your position, I would ask why he didn't have his sperm cells stored for this purpose. His rationale will probably give you an insight into his compatibility.
     
    There are a number of assisted reproductive technologies that can be quite helpful (but obviously expensive) in achieving pregnancy, for example intracytoplasmic sperm injection. In a nutshell, it is designed to overcome problems associated with sperm development, sperm count etc. Since he does want to take the time to get to know each other, it's a good idea to get to know more about his reproductive health to learn what it might reveal about his priorities.
     
    He seems like he's being honest about who he is and what his priorities are, which is the appropriate thing to do and you should make your decision based on the information you have. Try not to make excuses for him. Don't marry him out of pity and sacrifice your own preferences and values. Of course anyone you marry could end up having similar problems, but that's fate. If this guy's telling you he's not interested in kids... perhaps you should take his word for it.
  22. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from Django in Beehives.... Turnon Or Putoff?   
  23. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from Ali Musaaa :) in Sunnis Attack Khadmyyiah (Shrines)   
    They called you and identified themselves as Sunnis before shooting the rockets?
  24. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from diyaa110 in Married People's Advice To Those Not Married   
    Repost from another thread: sign a pre-nup :)
  25. Like
    Deewan got a reaction from Pearl178 in Hijabis Acting Like Western Girls ?   
    I've always objected to the venomous discourse employed by a number of atheists, especially scientists and public intellectuals, who look down upon those who believe. Theirs is a self-centered discourse that is conspicuous because of the pride it entails. That pride underlies a notion that all individuals should, irrespective of their life experience, education, family, culture, learning, age, abilities or lack thereof, arrive at the same conclusion and belief system--in this case that there's no god.
     
    For quite sometime now, I've been under the impression that humility is the cornerstone of our faith. But to the untrained eye like mine, those of you claiming to be better than others in the perceived correctness of the practice of your faith, humility is conspicuous by its absence. If you're doing what you're doing to serve God, why does it matter what anyone thinks or how another being choose to go about it?
     
    Moreover, all of you disgusted by those acting "like Westerners", how many of you are actually not from the West? As far as I know the overwhelming majority of you live in and enjoy the social, economic, and political benefits of the West. Just because you choose to segregate or ghettoize yourselves does not make you any less Western. Historical wrongs notwithstanding, all of us who are in the West came here for specific reasons and continue to choose to stay here. That makes us as Western as anyone, irrespective of skin colour or religion or culture. The West isn't some monolithic entity characterized by hedonism. Claiming or pretending so is simply internalizing the racist bigotry that many Western intellectuals have propagated in order to 'other', and therefore demonize, those deemed to be not belong to the geographic/sociological West.
     
    At the end of the day, my point is this: if you believe in God, you must also hopefully believe that He has given us some years on this earth and a freewill. Since that's the case, why not do with it what you think is right and leave the judging to God? Only those insecure in their own faith partake in the ritualized publicizing of their religion while becoming ever more corrupt from the inside. If you need evidence, look at the social ills like drug and sexual abuse, corruption, filth, violence, crime etc that plagues all Muslim countries.
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