Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله

Azadar-e-Ali

Advanced Member
  • Posts

    493
  • Joined

  • Last visited

1 Follower

Profile Information

  • Religion
    Shia Islam

Previous Fields

  • Gender
    Male

Recent Profile Visitors

1,822 profile views

Azadar-e-Ali's Achievements

Newbie

Newbie (1/14)

41

Reputation

  1. What if a man is admitted in hospital and there are female nurses who touch him to take his blood pressure etc. How do you stop them ? Should one ask them to wear gloves before taking his BP etc. Sometimes a female nurse may touch a male patient when the patient doesn't expect her to touch him. What is the responsibility of the male patient here... Should he refuse treatment if there is serious danger/risk that a female may touch him?
  2. And also not have any fantasy or any thought at all about the other woman while being with his wife, because that is a big sin.
  3. If these are temporary fix, then when this temporary period ends, would he be allowed to fall into sin? Is it accepted in Islamic Sharia that because fasting/duas are temporary fixes only, so once this temporary period ends, and the person is still unmarried, then sins become permissible? And how does one know what is the duration of this temporary period....is it a few months, a few years? Of course, the answer is that a person cannot say that he any right to sin even if he thinks that the temporary period has expired. In other words, the temporary fix is not actually accepted as temporary by the law. Even if a man stays unmarried for all his life (he genuinely tried to get married but couldn't find anyone), even then he cannot say that fasting is a temporary fix but if it had been temporary, sins would have been allowed after a certain number of years.
  4. As far as I know, yes there are Hadith prohibiting this. Actually, Sunnis quote those Hadith to claim that we shouldn't cry for Imam Hussain as. Of course, they misunderstood.
  5. A man also cannot marry his wife's aunty (mother's sister), although she is non mehrum, if I'm not mistaken.
  6. Yes. If sexual intimacy causes distress and pain (emotional or physical) and is not a means of pleasure, then Islam doesn't force people to have intimacy. In fact, there are many married couples who simply do not engage in any sexual intimacy at all, for years and years. Their reasons can be valid and legitimate and if there is mutual agreement between the spouses that they wish to lead even a sexless life, that is allowed. Even the rules state that a wife is not allowed to refuse her husband to have sex unless it is very difficult for her to do so. Same goes for men. This indicates that for some people, sexual intimacy can be extremely difficult. They have a right to not engage in any sexual intimacy or to do it as minimum as possible.
  7. I'm older than you but I understand what you are saying. I was just expressing a general opinion - of course, individual variations and likes and dislikes and preferences do exist and are perfectly understandable.
  8. Yes. It gets you closer to God because Allah is One and independent and in no need of any partner. And He wants every other thing to be His opposite, so that nobody can match him in his oneness. As He himself has no partner, therefore He wants us to have partners so that we can be the opposite of Him. That's why celibacy is disliked in Islam because Allah detests people who try to copy Him by staying single. That's why he has created everything in pairs, humans, animals, even non living things have been made by him in pairs. That's why marriage is so highly recommend because when a man gets a woman as his partner, he declares that he needs a partner while Allah needs nobody. Oneness is Allah's pride. He does not like humans (or any other creation) to try to even mimick him by trying to get this quality. In fact, Allah does not like anyone, or anything to be single like Him to the point that He has created even fruits in pairs. فِيهِمَا مِن كُلِّ فَـٰكِهَةٍ زَوْجَانِ "In them (both) will be every kind of fruit in pairs." (55:52)
  9. Yes but that all depends on marital status. When someone is married, then sexual intimacy is a pleasure and a means of getting closer to God. But for an unmarried man it's the exact opposite. For him, getting sexual pleasure of any sort at all, in any way at all, is absolutely forbidden, dangerous, destructive, shameful, disgusting, unnatural and results in severe displeasure of Allah and is the reason for his wrath and anger. For unmarried men, sexual urge is not pleasure - it is a divine test of extreme patience, struggle, hardship and immense will-power and self-control to abolish the sexual urge to so low level that sexual urge is not satisfied in any way. Sexual desire is not meant to give any comfort and pleasure to unmarried people, it is designed to test how much can they limit and suppress and curb their natural desires. That is the way to get closer to Allah if someone is unmarried. The more he kills his natural desire in order to stay away from sin, the closer he will get to Allah. It's similar to the practice of celibacy in other religions. The only difference is that they do it for lifetime, while in Islam it is till the time when some gets married. Otherwise, practically pre-marital abstinence in Islam appears to be the same as life-long celibacy in Christianity. The intentions are different but the ground reality of the need to suppress the sexual instinct is same between unmarried muslims and celibate monks.
  10. I'm not sure how authentic but there are some narrations where Imam Ali (عليه السلام) is reported to have advised to not engage is excessive sex because it can be deterimental for health - and something like... if one engages in less sex, it will prolong life. But then I'm not sure of exact words or meaning.
  11. Sexless marriages are more common than people usually think and the reasons are quite variable. There was a case when a couple consummated their marriage around more than 15 years after getting married. Another case was published in the news and the link is given below. The OP mentions her case where her husband refuses intimacy, but there are also cases where it is the wife who is the one refusing sex. This is not uncommon. There are even Hadith which discuss this topic about wives refusing intimacy and how the angels curse her. But the important part is that if a wife refuses sex, the husband is still advised to be patient and not force his wife into it. Allah will hold her responsible for being selfish and not caring towards her husband, but still the husband is instructed to show very high morals by not being forcecul. This happened with the Prophet (s) himself. He got married to a woman but Ayesha was jealous. She persuaded her to get divorce. When the Prophet (s) asked her to offer herself to him, she refused. The Prophet (s) accepted her wish and sent her back. This indicates that when the wife refuses intimacy, the best husband will gently leave her to herself instead of being forcecul. Now what is the degree of strength and will-power and self-control and resilience does a man need to suppress his sexual desire, for months or years, when he is in a marriage with a woman who has always categorically refused sex. One can say that men have the options of divorcing her, get a second wife or do mutah...but practically none of this may be possible. Sometimes, men have to live a sexless married life which a test of lifelong sexual patience for them. Being unmarried and resisting sins is difficult but even more difficult is when you have your wife with you but still have to spend years trying to battle the sexual urge and not commit any sexual sin. Following in the footsteps of the Prophet (s),the husband should request the wife to offer herself to him. If she goes on declining, then Allah will reward the husband for his extreme patience while the woman would have to answer for her extreme selfishness. Sometimes, the woman suffers from medical conditions which make it difficult to have sex and the issue remains undiagnosed for years, like the case below. But at other times, the wife just suffers from extreme hypoactive sexual desire and is a touch-me-not type of wife and that is a huge challenge for the husband. https://www.muslimworldtoday.org/six_years_in_a_sexless_marriage_taught_me_how_badly_we_need_to_talk_about_sex
  12. Yes but this all depends on what is available to a man. For example, if someone is unmarried and also cannot do mutah, then sex is forbidden altogether. And if someone is married but his wife does not cooperate with him for his sexual needs, then passionate sex is also out of the question. Also, the frequency of intimacy is again dependant on many factors. Some couples may be able to have passionate sex every day while others may never have it actually even once in their entire married lives. So, Islam does give general recommendations and advice but then these are just "general" and "ideal". In reality, halal passionate sex with multiple (or even one) women and as frequently as one wishes isn't something available to every man. When this is the situation then the Islamic advice changes accordingly i.e., be patient, remain chaste, avoid sins. This is what is encouraged for all unmarried men and for many married men who do not find it possible to have passionate sex with their wives for a variety of reasons. Perhaps more people would fall in these two categories rather than in the category of men who can have sex whenever they desire.
  13. I agree. Saying "I will never relapse" may go against the Quranic statement that man's nafs is tempted to sin. I can see the hope and the good intention of staying sinless for ever by having the feeling that one will never, ever masturbate...but this feeling of guarantee of sexual infallibility might be problematic. Even our Imams who were in reality sexually infallible and would not have ever even imagined committing any sin did not declare themselves that they were immune from sins altogether. Rather they showed that they too feared that they might sin. For example, Imam Ali (عليه السلام) feared that the voice of young women might produce some negative effects on him so he avoided even hearing their voice. So I think even married people should not consider themselves immune from temptations and should not consider that they will never relapse into sins. Perhaps the reason for that is that this thinking can indicate a degree of pride in one's self that he has now become so pious that he will never ever come near sin. Pride is something which Allah does not like at all. A married man who is always fearful that despite being married his faith is so weak that he is always tempted to sin may be more liked by Allah than an unmarried man who believes that his faith is so strong that he will never sin despite being unmarried. It is the declaration and acceptance of our weakness in faith which Allah likes because it tells is that we, and our faith, really are of no significance or value at all - it is only and only Allah (not our piety) which can save married and unmarried men from sins.
  14. Yes, although initially there were some concerns and doubts, it has finally been declared as Eid in Pakistan, by Shias too.
  15. But we have to rely on our marjas announcement, not the announcement by the Government, which at least in Pakistan seems unreliable.
×
×
  • Create New...