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In the Name of God بسم الله

MummyZ

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About MummyZ

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    Level 2 Member
  • Birthday 01/14/1989

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  • Religion
    Shia

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  • Gender
    Female

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  1. Personally im iraqi and my father is quite religious so even though we were 'engaged' we had no contact until the nikah was read which was about 4 months later because of muharram and sufar. But we had No contact whatso ever. After the nikah was read my father wanted to rush things and we got married just over 3 months later. So i had just over three months to 'get to know him'. I dont know what the best way is for this kind of thing but i have heard that if the period between engagement and the wedding is prolonged then the engagement is more likely to be broken off. My brother has been engaged with nikah read for over a year (they are waiting for her to finish her studies) and i notice they argue alot and they arent even married yet. So i dont know. I thinks its good to give it time to get to know each other properly but not over do it to the point you are already getting bored of each other because then if you are already bored you wont last a lifetime with that person. And honestly no matter how much you 'get to know' someone, once you live together its completely different because you are spending all hours of everyday with each other for the rest of your life.
  2. Like others have said if she shows an interest in wearing it from now let her and encourge her but never try to push her. Its good that she has that interest but make sure not to over do it because by the time it comes when she needs to start wearing it all the time she may get bored from it. Good luck with your situation, inshAllah Allah will help you make it easier and inshAllah Allah will always shows your daughter the love for hijab.
  3. Thank you kim and mokhtar for your replies, I dont think me going away for a while will make much difference to him. He also works night shifts some weeks and i go stay next to my family for a few nights. During this time he is hardly home and goes to his parents house when he needs anything done or food to eat, so he doesnt notice anything 'missing'. I know your right mokhtar and ar2011 this is a test from Allah, sometimes it just seems that im wasting my life being miserable. Ar2011 thank u so much for ur response, it makes sense what you say and i know i should be more supportive when he comes home, thats probably something i can try to work on, even though its hard to stay positive all the time. I really like the story of the man in the coat, i will keep it in mind for the future. I also hope it works out, because i know that Allah doesnt burden a soul with more then they can bear. So i will keep praying for now. I feel better reading your responses, thank you for your time.
  4. I didnt want to create another thread so i'll just update on here. And i need to get this off my chest and i dont want to always complain to my sisters or friend so i find this is the best place. Since january we went through a good phase. We seemed to get along well but i must admit i was quite busy with other things at the time so i wasnt so much focused on him and wasnt getting upset with him over the littlest things. I have changed with his family and try my utmost to always be social when i am with them. This has also been easier to do because we do not go everyday like we used to but rather once a week or so, so when we do go i try my best to be talkative. However the past week or two it seems to be back to square one. I feel so distant from him, when he works late he comes home in a terrible mood and i try to leave him to it as i dont want to make an issue. But to him it seems like i am the one who is in a 'mood'. Today we finally had an argument and he was being very rude and using rude words even though the last time he did that i told him to never do it again and that he should respect me. But it seems that he used it against me because he knew it will get to me so he was extra rude more then usual. He keeps saying that all i do is sleep and sit on the ipad. Even though thats true to some extent i do it while he is at work or out (which he always is) so i dont understand why it bothers him. The house is always clean, the food is always cooked so i know its not getting in the way of housework. I dont know why it bothers him so much when he is not even around?! My husbands father has recently opened a new business and he spends alot of his time helping his dad when he is not at work. So he is hardly home and i have a two year old son. I get tired easily and sometimes i will nap when my son is also napping during the day. I just feel that there is no love in this marriage, no real relationship. There is no connection of any sort, i am merely taking each day as it comes. I dont know what the right thing to do. Only Allah knows.
  5. Salam sisters, congratulations to the pregnant ladies. InshAllah you will have easy pregnancies and easy births. I have a two year old son and i'd really like another child now. So just waiting for Allah to grant me another blessing. Zaynab i found that my smell sense enhanced too during pregnancy, to the point i actually craved some hand soap because it smelled so good! (But obviously i resisted tasting). And i love the smell of turbah.
  6. Ok i can relate to some of this from my own experience, OP heres the deal you have married a mummys boy, he wants you to be mummy number two. I have been married for 3 and a half years and sometimes i just want to quit. But if you think he has a soft side to him then thats what you need to work on. Alhamdulilah i am still holding on because my husband is a good man just needs abit of work. Firstly mile.advice is kind of right you need to show that you are not so dependent on him. Men like that take advantage when they see that the women is so dependent on them. Can you prehaps get a job? Do something to keep you busy, 1 you wont be bothered about the small things as much because you have your own thing to do and 2 it will show him that you dont rely on him for everything. Secondly do you live with your mother in law? Here i am not sure what the solution is. Mother in laws can be the root of alot of problems and they are such a senstive issue. Your husband sounds like my husband he has his mother as number one and wont change it for anything. But alhamdulilah we do not live with my in laws and also my mother in law is actually a really nice person so i do not know how you can best resolve this issue. Just try to befriend her, once he sees that you make an effort with his mother he will be more happy with you. My husband has said this to me many times in arguements that i need to show more interest in his family. Finally talk to him, alot of people say this to me and i know how difficult it is especially when everytime you talk to him he makes you feel so worthless and like its all your fault. But heres the thing when you say things out loud even though he might seem to not be listening it does actually go inside and one day it might just make him think about what you are saying seriously. Also one piece of advice do NOT have children until you sort out a reasonable lifestyle with each other. Children make things more complicated and if god forbid it doesnt work out then having a child makes it soooo much more difficult to leave an unhappy marriage. I will pray for you and know that it does get easier, everyone says the first year of marriage is hard. You are still getting used to living with each other. InshAllah you are able to find a comprimise between the two of you that will work out for you both.
  7. Besides all the dream business, i know of girls who have had to wait a long time with proposals not working out until they reach a late age where there kisma happens. You cannot force a marriage, your kisma is already written, so have patience.
  8. Alot of arabs especially the religious ones have separate weddings. We wear the westernized white wedding dresses and when we want to leave cover up. My mum brought me a white cloak with a hood from iraq as its not really sold here. Type white cloak with hood into google you will get the idea.
  9. There are signs which indicate the closeness of the time to the reapperance, however what is your definition of soon? If you are a true believer you always have to believe that the reapperance is soon.
  10. W'Salam I did try to google it but cant find any mention of it. Im not sure if there are any shia bookstores where i live but i will ask around hopefully i will be able to get it. Thank you
  11. Oh right thanks. It seemed to be based on research findings which made sense. But does that mean the other books are also fakes? How can one make sure the book they are reading is a fake or not?
  12. Yes sorry i saw the other thread as soon as i posted this one.
  13. I have just posted this link to the book section, the great muslim scientist - imam Jafar Alsadiq (as) is this the same book you are talking about? http://www.scribd.com/mobile/doc/40346094
  14. This might interest a few people, i have just started reading it myself and thought to share. The great muslim scientist - Imam Jaffer Alsadiq (as) http://www.scribd.com/mobile/doc/40346094
  15. Looking at the Quran it seems that they are the only two places however it seems that there will be different levels within them. Syed dynasty where can we find this book?
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