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In the Name of God بسم الله


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    Chicago, Illinois
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    Islam - Shia

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  1. @Ale Mohmmed about what you mentioned "In other words, de-escalation of treatment is forbidden". During the ordeal that I went through, in the midst of all the confusion, one Aalim in the US (who is the follower of Ayatollah Makarem) advised that the vent should not be taken off, instead we should scale back the medication each day until there was no medicine given to him. This would eventually have the same result!! There clearly needs to be a more clear and uniform guidance on this.
  2. What can a person do if his parents grave was in another country?
  3. I completely agree with em. I've been through this process of divorce (in the U.S.) and would very strongly recommend that you iron out issues among yourselves. The best would be to decide everything about the assets, child custody etc, then go to the attorneys. Tell them this is our decision and just draft the final document. Even if you decide to settle out of court, it will take many meetings with the attorneys, and they can pile up quite a bill. When I got divorced, we had a few meetings with the attorneys and decided everything in their presence. They made things so complicated and we ended up spending more and more time with them. In the end I ended up spending around $18,000.00 in attorney fees, for just an out of court settlement. Things naturally get very bitter in these circumstances, so i don't know if your husband would be receptive to settling amicably. A lot of times people just make things difficult just to annoy the other person. In the end there is no winner. As it has been mentioned the religious part is going to be the easy one.
  4. Its not a bad idea to get into something already established. From day one you have cash flow and do not have the risk of whether it will workout or not. I owned a business previously (it was also an established business when I got it) and sold it a couple of years ago. You do have to be very diligent while looking into books of an established business being sold, as most of them are being sold because of problems. Feel free to ask me any questions!!
  5. @Akbar673 So she was still on her temporary green card. The time was due to file the I-751 (- the petition to remove the conditions on the green card) in January of 2015. but I filed divorce in December of 2014. At that time our marriage was already over two years old. I went to three different immigration attorneys to see if i can do anything to prevent her from getting the Green Card, but they all said that nothing will work now. In response to my divorce petition she also wanted to invoke the affidavit of Support, but thank God it didn't happen in the end. She filed her own application to remove conditions, and did get her permanent Green Card. I never filed the petition with her, but she probably used the loop hole where you can plea that you entered the marriage in good faith.
  6. @starlightI guess all I can say is that she is ALONE. I know she was living in an apartment (although her brother has a house here in our town, but her sis-in-law can't stand her). I think she was also working somewhere. Interesting that it was second marriage for both of us, she had divorced her first husband in Pakistan. Now she has the green Card and might be able to bring a suitable husband from back home. After all, people are looking desperately to get married to Green Card holder. I do wonder sometimes, if she does bring a husband from Pakistan, would he do the same to her, as she did to me??
  7. I can personally relate to this. After my first marriage ended, I connected with a girl online (4 years later), who was Sunni. At the time it did seem to be a very good match and we got along very well. I met her on visit to Pakistan and later here in the US while she was visiting. She projected herself to be very open and not prejudiced against other religious denominations. We did get married and I obviously sponsored her Green Card. Soon after the wedding, actually, in the first week she went up to my mother and expressed her desire that my parent's property be sold and she get the money. Not only that, she asked me to transfer the title of my house here in the US in her name. Then there were more and more warning signs. She verbally abused my son (from first marriage), and physically as well on one occasion. She also started to express how my beliefs (as a shia) were wrong and some things were "Bidaah". Eventually things got fairly bad. I had a conversation with her brother and although I had not talked about divorce, he said to me, you know, if there is a divorce, we have already found out through an immigration attorney that she will still get the Green Card. This was very surprising to me, as it seemed like they have their homework in place. I did file for divorce, and soon after she filed her own counter petition for divorce (which meant that if I withdrew my petition, I could not stop the process of divorce as she has her own petition going). This was pretty much a clear signal as to why she married me. She also got money out of the settlement. Although she came in with much bigger targets of acquiring my property as well. From my experience and as others have written above, if you do plan to get married to someone overseas, better that you know the family. I personally know of another case where the girl came and filed for divorce right after getting the green card. I think it is better to look for someone local and eliminate the risk all together. You can really get to know the person and the family and make a good educated decision. Also as mehdi servant.01 has mentioned it is hard to settle the new immigrant. The person who sponsors has to do a lot of work as well. File for sponsorship, get the social security going, get health insurance, get going with driving lessons etc. And all this costs a lot of money as well. Best.
  8. As far as the direction of the Qibla is concerned, it shouldn't be a problem. Since the stop-over is in Doha, it most likely is Qatar Airways which I've flown many times and usually the Airlines from Middle East (Qatar, Etihad, etc.) show the direction of the Qibla on the "Map" screen.
  9. I had an Istikhara done and it came out good for that particular instance. Then I called another Aalim to do it again, and was told that Istikhara is only to be performed once, whatever the result maybe, you go with that.
  10. I have written previously on this as well. My second marriage was with a Sunni girl. We met online and on the outset, she was OK with me being shia, and started saying we are all Muslim, and no Shia or Sunni. Maybe she said that to get married as she was already 34 and hadn't been married up until then. Her family was very opposed to it. We were OK, as my mother is a Shia Muslim and father was a Sunni Muslim. She was very much opposed to raise our kids as Shia (if we had any) and had issues that I will be taking my son (from my first marriage) to a Shia mosque and she will have to take her child(ren) to a Sunni mosque (even after saying all Muslims, no Shia no Sunni). After our marriage though, she never for once went to (the Shia) mosque with me, although I was OK going to a Sunni mosque with her family. It was obvious on many occasions that she was not OK with my beliefs. Our marriage recently ended (not because of the Shia/Sunni issue though), but what I am trying to say is, at least from my experience, people can say one thing, can be accepting of you, but when they achieve what they want (say marriage) it can change very quickly. In my case she got the green card as well. Maybe thats why she was OK with me for the time being. I am not trying to discourage you at all, my parents never had any issues over this all their lives, but please be careful, because you might manage to live along with her, but what if she takes a hard line stance over the kids. So please do think it through. Best.
  11. May I ask, what made you marry her, seems like the differences would have been obvious when you married her, and probably the problems to come could be foreseen.
  12. Look for someone who you think can be your best friend.
  13. I am married to one. Maybe you can look up my posts on related topics. All in all, I would advise against it, but also depends on specific situations as well. This was my second marriage and right now I am going through divorce (again!), although not because of religious issues. But if you can't find the posts or have any questions feel free to ask me.
  14. I completely agree on the privacy issue. I was born and raised in Pakistan and now live in US. My parents have been living in my house since we moved here. After marriage its not just the privacy that is affected, it is practically everything else. My wife was from Pakistan, but we found it difficult, even me, although they are my parents. Everything becomes public knowledge, whether you go shopping, buy gifts, raising your child, others have to give out opinions and expect them to be followed. Just an instance, once my son who was like three at the time, did something very wrong, and I wanted to discipline him with a time out. My father didn't let me - "he is just a little kid". But as the father, I wish I had more say in my own son's upbringing. I just thing it is better to live as a couple on your own Also, if it was promised to you, maybe the promise needs to be honored.
  15. First of all you need to do tuaba. About the guy, do you really want a future with a person who can't stand up for you? If he truly loves you, why can't he take a stand for you and at least not go ahead with the nikkah at this time? He is getting his nikkah done, so seems like you need to swallow the bitter pill and move on.
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