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In the Name of God بسم الله

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  1. my god what a forum! some good replies then some unfriendly ones. bro why am i having to defend myself after every post??? she knows him. she knows he is a criminal and helps him out. didnt you read??? what ruq said makes sense. some you guys ...... lol. y respond if all you will do is attack?
  2. faridoon the guy takes narcotics, messes with women and went to prison for violence. i am not interested in this girl because i am too old. i am just worried about her future. i am an older man worried about her getting a beating. i want to tell her father. if you want to say he is better than me then good luck to you.
  3. dont get me wrong. i only said looks because they have nothing else. i got no problem with good women marrying men who are decent but havent got the looks. if they at least had looks u could explain why they got married to a sinful player. what drama?
  4. no i do know him well! he has gone to prison and right now is always with lots of girls. he said she trusts him not to mess about with those ladies. he is no match for her. in their social circle there are lots of good strong guys. he got her by being friends with her and then proposed. he is a compulsive liar as well.
  5. i have seen it too much. a good woman with a loser husband. today i was speaking to my elderly colleague about a girl who is engaged to this convict. he has anger problems and a failure in school. my colleague laughed and said "what does she see in him??" he thinks he is ugly too. she is a religious muslim with many good traits. she will have a terrible life with him. its baffling. too many good muslim women with losers. why do some muslim women marry men who are losers, ugly or horrible people? is it cause these bad boys sweet talk them?
  6. (salam) what are the rules on khums for stock and currencies whose price changed? e.g. if i have a currency whose value changed then do i pay khums on it or on my main currency?
  7. you said "over weight girls for you to say why is she suggesting those girls? Are they not human to? No? " what if someone kept introducing you to shorter men?
  8. kim and enlightened answer truthfully. will you marry a man 6 inches shorter than you?
  9. how will that change anything?? same problem when you are 18 or 28. i am way over 18.
  10. good idea ali_hussain. i will try that. now what do you do when you havent got a friend who can do that? i have been here before and i quit. what can we do?? "(This thread could really hurt some people's feelings)" beauty is in the eye of the beholder. no one should get really upset. i am sure some people think i am ugly. i dont get hurt by it.
  11. this is why i am scared. i got know if the sister will react like golden crowned or enlightened. enlightened, not marrying a woman you dont find attractive is sunnah. i am looking for a wife and not a colleague. The Prophet (Pbuh) told Mughayreh, the son of Shua'ba the son of Shua'ba" who had married a woman: "Had you looked at her before you got married, there was more hope for you to get along with her." [Marriage in Islam , p.47] Muhammad, the son of Muslim said that he asked Imam Baqir (Pbuh): "Does a man who wants to get married have the right to look at the woman?" He answered: "Yes of course. He wants to purchase with the highest price, yet how can he not look?" [Vasa'il al-Shiia , Introductory chapters on marriage, Chapter 36] Hassan Sary said: I asked Imam Sadiq (Pbuh): "Is it permissible for the man to take a good look at a woman before he marries her? Can he look at her face and the back of her head?" He answered: "Yes. It is not forbidden to look at the back of her head or look at her face." [Vasa'il al-Shiia, Introductory chapters on marriage, Chapter 36] A man told the sixth Imam: "Is it permissible for a man to look at a woman's hair and her beauties when he wants to marry her?" He said: "If he wants to become aware of her characteristics it is all right." [Vasa'il al-Shiia , Introductory chapters on marriage, Chapter 36] In another tradition the Imam was asked: "Is it permissible for the woman to stand up so that the man can see her?" He answered: "Yes, she can even wear clothing showing the form of her body at that time." [Marriage in Islam , p.49] The Prophet (Pbuh) told a man from his companions who had proposed to marry a woman: "Look at her face and her hands." These traditions and the like imply that if someone chooses a woman to marry, after he investigates about her family, her faith and morality, it is fine to look at her to learn about her physical features such as her hair, her looks and beauty, her height, and her posture. This will block any future claims about her defects which might otherwise cause disappointment or argument. This does not mean that men can go around to look inside every house and observe all the beauties of the Muslim girls to choose one if they please. [Marriage in Islam , p.49] 2- When you choose a wife and decide to marry her, you must intend to marry to seek God's pleasure, not her beauty, perfection, amorous playfulness or coquetishness. You must act to please God and to abide His decree and to follow the tradition of the divine Prophets, especially the noble Prophet of Islam (Pbuh) There are many important traditions regarding marriage in order to get nearer to God and attain His pleasure cited from the Prophet (Pbuh): One who marries for God's sake, and strives to provide the means for the marriage of others for God's sake, deserves to be a Friend of God. [Muhjat ul-Biyza , v.3, p.54] The beauty of the spouse has effects on protecting and strengthening the modesty and faith of the spouse. If a spouse is pleased with the beauty of his spouse, he would not divert his sight, mind and practice towards others and would not envy others’ beautiful spouses. As a result, he would not go after strangers and would not commit dishonesty with his wife (both men and women), unless he comes out of the course of nature and does not have a share of faith and modesty. Islam has emphasized and stressed this point. The Prophet (a.s) said: إذَا أرادَ أحدُكُم أن يَتَزَوَّجَ المرْأةَ فَلْيَسألْ عَن شَعرِها، كَما يَسأَلُ عَن وَجهِهَا، فإنَّ الشَّعْرَ أحَدُ الجَمالَينِ. “When one of you intends to marry a woman, he should ask about her hair, just as he asks about her face (beauty), since the hair is one of the two beauties (of women).” And similarly, it has been recommended that the spouses beautify and decorate themselves for each other and please and satisfy one another to remain safe and sound from deviations, corruption, and debauchery. When one of the infallible Imams had coloured his blessed hair with Henna (dye made from a shrub), someone surprisingly asked him, “Have you beautified yourself?” Imam (a.s) said: “Yes! Decorating and beautifying (oneself) increases the modesty of women.”[1] Indifference and carelessness toward these matters may bring about miseries and scandals. It is necessary to discuss love and sexual problems separately, which we will do in the chapter under the topic ‘Love, the axis of life’.
  12. i dont judge these girls. i sometimes hate my self for rejecting them :( :( it makes me feel completely horrible :( but i know the marriage wont work. i havent got the courage to tell this sister. i might just tell her i dont want to look anymore. i dont want to offend her. once in the past my aunty did the same thing and got angry because said i didnt like the girls she made me meet.
  13. selaam bros and sisters. some time back i wrote here because i could not find any sisters to marry. recently i found a sister who said she will help me. she is my friend's wife. so she has been introducing me to girls she knows. but the big big problem is many of them i dont find attractive. its a big big waste of time meeting these girls and all. i want to tell the sister that this is wasting time for all of us and she should only set up girls who i will like. but i am afraid of how she will respond and i will lose my reputation. what do i do???? i get told by friends that i look good and i have good looking females in my house so i am not used it. i used to gets lots of female attention at school and college. i got asked out on dates and stuff but i rejected because its haram. this sister introduces me to overweight girls too and i am athletic. what do i say to her? i am embarrassed to say anything!!! granted, all of them are religious so she will think i am shallow .... but i cant help it. sigh
  14. I am old enough to move out with all the family. I have the money. We have suffered our whole lives. We cant move out because the community will talk. Cant say it is stress because we get all her chores when she goes on holiday. I cant speak to her about it when she is calm because she snaps and all hell breaks loose.
  15. Salam alaikum I live with someone who is very quick tempered and emotional. I told her lots times but she wont see it. Sometimes it's like walking on glass and the rest of us family members cant do anything right. We are always getting attacked and hurt by her. She is always finding flaws with us and calls us evil and dogs and all sorts. It's never her fault ... always ours. Sometimes she beats us. Its mentally draining me. I need advise. I can't leave home cause it's my mom :( I love her but she's too emotional and wont think straight. Outside the house she is an angel.
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