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In the Name of God بسم الله


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    The cushions in the corner in the living room, England
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  1. What kind of logical argument can a child really make that would convince someone that he or she should be the other sex? Children barely start to differentiate between genders around that age so i don't think a child is capable of 'feeling trapped' in their body .. This is choice, not due to a medical necessity the child might have. So many girls don't like being girls especially in Muslim societies at that age because they strongly feel men or boys have it easier. But they grow up to be happy women. I just think 9 is toooo young to put a child on any medication to alter the natural puberty process. A child that young probably just needs some counselling.
  2. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2631472/NHS-sex-change-drugs-nine-year-olds-Clinic-accused-playing-God-treatment-stops-puberty.html Seriously, what implication will this have on society? How are 9 year olds mature enough to choose what they want? One minute they want ice cream and the next they want crisps. Can 9 year olds even comprehend what's happening? Their bodies haven't developed, they haven't experienced life really, how does clothing preference determine what sex they should be? You've got to be 16 to 18 to get married in most parts of the world! This is so bizarre.. Thoughts anyone?
  3. It's the appropriate thing to do given that vehicles tend to drive the wrong way on one way streets.. Really?! People get fined? Things have changed! and I've not caught on apparently.. Good to hear that traffic isn't that bad anymore.
  4. http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/05/29/mother-chinese-baby-flushed-toilet-accident_n_3350782.html?utm_hp_ref=uk Poor child, this is horrific :(
  5. Jiski lathi uski bhains! Law and order is rapidly declining and some places have it worse than others – Hazara and Karachi. And then there are parts of the country where life is normal but corruption prevails. But the disgusting and appalling fact is that people are willing to integrate this decline in law and order into their lives. People strangely seem to be okay with it. Despite the complaining and dissatisfaction the system is embraced because it’s too large to be beaten – not blaming anybody. Some parts of the country are a war zone with continuous terrorist attacks. Every single day there is news of the loss of innocent lives and the culprits are never captured, or taken into a court of law or convicted. And the affluent / every other politician are above the law. Mian Sahab alone has been accused of thousands of corruption cases and he will be the Prime Minister now! Sums up the country’s situation. There is a very small class of extremely corrupt and powerful Pakistanis that are more than happy to shatter the law for monetary gain. I think the simplistic, poor awam is just.. frustrating to think about! I don’t want to blame them, but then there is no one else to blame. But then they are gharib and illiterate and they don’t know any better. I’m just torn.. I really don’t want to blame the poor when the well-off in the country cannot seem to accumulate enough wealth. Strangely, I am okay with the traffic police officer asking me for chai pani instead of giving me a speeding ticket. It’s understandable; the guy can barely put his kids in school, stands in the scorching heat all day and does not have a prospective bright future. Shahbaz Sherif frequently promised pre election that he would rid Pakistan of the energy crisis in a certain period of time - i think it was 6 months or something.. And then even before taking over the government Nawaz Sherif said that his brother made such statements in the josh e khitabat. That is just disdainful and disrespectful and anybody who voted for them, and thought that he would have pankhay ki hawa, is probably cringing right now. But as a nation we will probably not hold them accountable. That is the problem! Everyone who breaks or mends the law must be punished according to the constitution. My point is that there is no accountability. The less well accept the bullying from the affluent. Which leads to a nonexistent law. We need a revolution but we don’t seem to want a revolution. Therefore we shall unhappily succumb to our pathetic state for another few decades probably. Do you remember that PPP minister, Jatoi whoever, said that corruption was his right because it was the culture and that whoever abstained from it was at loss! That’s how everybody thinks unfortunately, he just said it out loud, I don’t know what happened to that guy, but I won’t be surprised if he has an important position..
  6. Wait so is Pakistan the capital of Karachi?
  7. sorry I meant like at 1 am when in the most abandoned part of the city.. Good to hear this though, because accidents do happen. My mum was driving once and I was sat in the passenger seat and the signal turned red and so naturally my mum stopped and this car behind us collided with us. Not to make this dramatic but I scratched my hand!
  8. I have an uncle, he wears a seat belt and he stops at every red traffic light, do you know how rare that is?
  9. lagta hai apko bijli kay bohran nay sakht paraishan kar rakha hai..
  10. Get cold turkey for your computer and block all distracting websites - even SC! Clearly the lesser the distractions the better. Set achievable targets for yourself so that you ar never too overwhelmed. What works best for me is accountability. People usually procrastinate because they are only answerable to themselves for certain tasks. Self accountability is the best, but a lack of it leads to procrastination. Therefore get others involved. Ask a parent, sibling or friend to check up on you. Tell them your targets for the day or week or even the hour and then ask them to check whether you have successfully completed your tasks. From personal experience, anything that has a CBT basis usually requires a longer time to be mastered and thus to be used effectively, because in most cases it requires a change of habit. So the reward/treat yourself methods may not be the best to start during the examination period. Especially if your exams are 2 days away- your only strategy here is to cram, or fake trauma due to the death of your cactus plant- just kidding. You could still read up on hot cross bun diagrams or the belief driven formulation and things like that but they take longer to get used to. Try to deep breath and just clear your thoughts. This would also be the appropriate time to call Allah for help. And then just stay calm and start working. I know, easier said then done..
  11. Her argument sadly was that I will not be a good mother and wife and also its a MAN's world.. apparently. I have seen people insinuate on this website that more educated women / women educated more than the husband tend to be too problematic which I guess is sort of in sync with what my aunty meant. I probably need a few practical lessons in life because I don't see why men wouldn't want to marry girls who are very educated. I see it as a more informed and educated family and I don't want to go into the benefits of education as I feel I have derailed this thread too much already. Seems like most people imply that the more a woman is educated, the more arrogant and the less of a homemaker she becomes. Well education is the solution really and that'll take years to bring change.
  12. Pakistani life is not as dramatic as we’re making it sound. I feel like I am on defense mode while replying to your post. I can’t help it, despite all the flaws in Pakistan I do love the country, so now I have this urge to tell you how fantastic Pakistani parents are when it comes to education at least. I’ll try to justify situations and circumstances. Very few young adults know what they want to be when they are 14 – 18? If you don’t study biology at GCSE then chances are you cannot become a doctor, so when you are applying to universities’, if it dawns upon you that your true calling in life was to serve humanity by saving lives then I don’t know what you are going to do. This is where parents step in because they tend to think long term and they bestow their children with pearls of wisdom. Yeah, I know, some parents go overboard in asserting their authority but that happens everywhere in the world. So it is nothing to get DEPRESSED about. What most parents try to do in certain situations is completely understandable. They are trying to secure their child’s future! In the OP’s case and as Marbles pointed out, Medicine is a field which accepts and integrates women into it relatively easily, as compared to engineering. Yes there is an obvious disparity between the genders in the workplace. Most developed countries have it too. In light of the fact, most parents do technically want the best for their children and tend to become excessively controlling in attempts to protect them only, I think the OP’s father probably had this in mind. We do have this saying though, which sums up the society’s mindset pretty well – Kheloge kudoge to hoge kharab, parhoge likhoge to banoge nawab - basically playing games and wasting time will lead to the deterioration of your life but studying academically will ensure you become a king or a rich person. Roughly translated.. Again, given the extreme poverty in the country we can’t really blame people for wanting to escape it. Education is the most reliable, hopeful and promising escape. Thus parents don’t want their children to study courses that don’t look good in the job searching process. Nobody wants a life where they are unable to provide for the basic means to live on. Given that we don’t have a benefits system not going to college is only an option if you are the heir to a hell lot of wealth. In a more preferable situation children should shadow in the workplace.. way before they choose their university course. They should be given a thorough understanding of the different subject materials so that they can make more informed decisions. SO on and so forth.. Our relatively disintegrating, mismanaged and outdated Pakistani Board system which everyone constantly complains about needs massive reform. Employment opportunities are another issue. Until these issues are resolved, parents will continue to recommend – sometimes forcefully, what children need to do for another good few decades. I feel guilty blaming Pakistani parents because they are sometimes put into difficult situations but it’s just life really, we have to make the best of our circumstances.. So until then, children will continue to say they want to be doctors when they grow older. Or in my 10 year old cousin’s case an ABU JEE (daddy) when he grows older.
  13. Someone said to me once 'what I thought only astronauts studied maths'. Do you want to go to join NASA and go to space? And he wasn't even joking! And others in the room agreed! I was baffled he even knew what NASA was. Do you know what needs to be changed is the concept of educating women only so that they are marraige material. My baradari was horrified at my subject choices, my uni choice and so on. Most people put me off as a spoilt brat who had no regard for our culture or religion. I've had a lot of hostility. A close Aunty reprimanded me once by saying I'll have to answer God for my actions so I shouldn't study these subject!
  14. I hope people develop a different attitude towards psychological illness soon because they other than the mental affects they tend to have very real physical symptoms. For example a panic attack comes with intense chest pains which might feel like a heart attack.. Anyways I know there is a lot of stigma associated with mental disorders and the 'main pagal nahi hoon' concept. I'll add to the common things we hear back home.. 1) siraf rata laga k pass hona hai, history students don't do any real learning 2) siraf gup likhni hai, aur correct English and you'll get marks in sociology 3) Philosophy demag ki dahi hai and it's not even a hard science, what a waste 4) lol my mum did her masters in eng lit and her sister did it in Urdu lit lol back in the day my mum was embarrassed of it and she laughs about it now 5) woah how's fine arts haram? Never heard this before, I don't really know what fine arts is tbh. Is it singing and dancing? something others have touched upon, your social status, family background and most importantly financial position does dictate what you study. I usually tend to find excuses for the less wealthy because reality is when most of your time is preoccupied with trying to put food on the table you don't ponder upon philosophical concepts. A person who needs to put food on the table will usually go with a safe option that lands him a job in the future no matter how interested he is in the art of horticulture. Most people are not selfish to jeopardise their family's future by studying an unmarketable subject. That leaves the financially well off, they need to be less ignorant and stop stereotyping.
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