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Showing content with the highest reputation on 01/11/2019 in all areas

  1. 3 points
    For the love of God, can we stop mixing religion with traditions & culture?
  2. 3 points
    Irfani313

    Sheikh Yasser Awde

    How are you compelled by his ideas if “most of his videos are in Arabic”, and apparently you can’t understand them? Just trying to understand from the two of you, what’s so unique about Yasser Awde?
  3. 3 points
    Nevsevug

    What should i do?

    Being raised in different countries often means you’re from very different cultures. For example, a woman raised in the West will have different ideals than a woman(or man) raised in the East. If you are from the East v West it’s obvious you have very different upbringings and cultures. Counseling will greatly help facilitate a healthy way to communicate, so I would try that before anything else. You have to understand how to effectively and respectfully communicate with one another. This is the biggest reason people have problems in their marriages. As other members have mentioned, you can also have a sit down with your wife. Be open and willing to be vulnerable and accept your shortcomings. Be honest with one another. Explain what problems you’re having with her behavior and tell her what you would like to see change. Do not speak defensively or in an accusatory manner. Let her do the same with you. You should understand that you are on the same team, you aren’t working against each other.
  4. 3 points
    starlight

    What should i do?

    See a marriage counsellor instead of a sheikh. Telling you from experience, sadly most of our sayyeds and sheikhs have zero training to deal with marital issues. The only thing they are good at is parroting fatwas and only tend to make things worse. From what I understand from your post, your marriage is very much salvageable. Please don't let a sheykh ruin it.
  5. 2 points
    Salam Alaikum everyone! I have a question and I hope I can get great answers. I am supposed to be getting my shots in a couple of days. Here is the issue, I am 110 percent against it. I have no other choice but to get it or else I would be kicked out of my studies. I spoke up about it and I knew from there that I had no one to back me up. I have no other choice but to take them. I have heard that you can cleanse your bloodstream from the vaccinations. Sadly, from what I have heard, there are some that can’t be removed. I want to know any treatments that can be done right after I have taken them. There are 2 that I know of. One of them is the hijama (I think that’s how you spell it) which sucks out any bad blood. The other one is eating a lot of garlic. Garlic is known to clean the system. I was hoping that there is someone out there who believes in what I believe and who can help me out. Maybe someone would know an ancient old remedy that works wonders. Thank you
  6. 2 points
    Haji 2003

    W.I.M. wimmin

    W.I.M stands for 'woe is me". We get new threads on Shiachat started by new posters who typically relate some domestic issue where a woman has been badly treated by either the father or the husband and occasionally some other male. The story, since these posts are typically reasonably long, has a fair amount of detail and explanation and has clearly been written by someone with a reasonably good command of the English language. We are not talking about someone who has secretly grabbed access to the village computer in some remote part of a developing country. Not unreasonably the post elicits uncritical sympathy from most Shiachatters. After all, if you saw Bambi's mother wounded in the forest would you not do all you could to support her and criticise the hunter in the process? Given the patriarchal nature of Muslim societies, the collateral damage is, of course, the implicit criticism of such societies, their institutions, cultural norms and so on. So for example, if someone has been taken advantage of through the use of mutah, then invariably there will be concerns directed at the practice and the people who engage in it. And to my mind, that is the objective of these threads. The following are the reasons why I usually have grave reservations about their authenticity: The person writing them is articulate and educated. They know how to construct a narrative that works. This is not an easy skill to acquire. Their spelling and sentence construction are always good. This matters because such education does not exist in a vacuum. Anyone who is educated to this level has a knowledge of their environment and you'd expect the support systems where they could get help (if that is what they wanted). The poster typically writes about a situation where they were taken advantage of, sometimes as a result of their lack of knowledge e.g. the terms of mutah. Now that situation would be entirely reasonable if the person was writing about a situation pre-internet. However, if they are writing about any event within the last 5-10 years the question which arises is that any google search of various Islamic issues throws up results that include Shiachat discussions. We are therefore being led to believe that the first time this person heard of Shiachat is when the situation imploded and not beforehand. Allied to this point the question why someone would turn to anonymous, generally unqualified strangers for help when it would make more sense to approach organisations and institutions they were familiar with and which would both offer an independent and trustworthy point of view. If someone can find shiachat on google they can find such resources. There are often references to the poster's fragile state of mind, which in my opinion is simply there to head off any uncritical assessment. In developed countries the first person anyone would go to in a fragile state of mind would be there local G.P. (doctor) and they would refer the person to appropriate sources of help. Such stories are always about 'relationships'. The topic is sexy and everyone has an unqualified opinion. We don't get similar posts about any other aspect of human activity. We don't get anonymous new posters writing in detail about the challenges they face in terms of choosing between medicine or engineering, for example. The question then is what motivates such posters? In my opinion, it is to attack Islamic and Shia institutions and practices, it is to sow discord amongst board members and certainly it is to provide ammunition for those board members who have an anti-Islamic agenda and who can use these stories as the basis for attacking people with a more orthodox mindset. You may well ask what would qualify such threads as being genuine. I'd expect a genuine poster to leave out the 'gory' details. After all, that is for the benefit of feeding the bun fight that is supposed to follow. I would expect a genuine person to explain in very general terms the situation that they are facing and then to ask posters if they are familiar with any sources of support in a particular country or region (this assume that they can't find such resources themselves). At a push, I would say that a new poster could say that they wanted to speak to someone qualified and whether board members or moderators could point them in the right direction.
  7. 2 points
    "Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal." - From a headstone (tombstone or gravestone) in Ireland.
  8. 2 points
    Gaius I. Caesar

    silent pain

    Silent pain- is the petrichor after the rain The sky's clear ichor, it threatens to stain Them walls and cobblestones The hadiths say when it rains, we shall then atone Among the malls and hardware stores As the cold seeps into our bones Hissing our names
  9. 2 points
    Nevsevug

    Marriage Help

    Like I previously mentioned, cut out all the things that are making you relentlessly think lustful thoughts. A lot of the time they arise as a result of the things we watch, read, interact with. Completely cut out watching shows and movies that have a lot of sexual things in them. Cut out social media that makes your mind wander. Exercise and eat foods that lower libido. Try not to have a lot of free time, avoid being alone. Use your free time to do something productive or at least fun for you. There are also ways to block pornography on your phone/computer. Don’t just go straight to the marriage route. Try your best to control your nafs.
  10. 2 points
    Sometimes the "good" is actually really bad for them. Allah is extending their leash.
  11. 2 points
    AMR5

    What should i do?

    Your spouse seems to be suffering from haughtiness issues. I think you should talk to her to show respect in words by using simple methods like speaking softly, lovingly, with patience. I’m sure she respects you in her heart and it’s just the language and cultural differences between the two of you. Also as a side exercise, ask her what two things that you could that would help her change her behavior. Then do those two things and let her reciprocate.
  12. 2 points
    Irfani313

    Sheikh Yasser Awde

    Would you kindly list at least three things where Shia ‘faith’ needs reform? Also what’s so particularly wrong with majority Shias of Lebanon?
  13. 2 points
    Ralvi

    Conversion to Shi'ism

    Exactly
  14. 2 points
    Usually free will. If I'm mugged while walking down the sidewalk, that's because that thief was as entitled to free will as I am, regardless of whether I'm "good" or "bad". It wasn't my choice, it was someone else's. Sometimes it's a test. Sometimes it's a natural consequence of our own choices.
  15. 2 points
    Qa'im

    Conversion to Shi'ism

    Addressing your first point: you did not like the way Christians would teach you about Jesus, and so you became an atheist. Pardon my questioning but is that logical and rational? The Catholic Church is an institution consisting of billions of imperfect people. Theoretically, what if Catholicism was correct but the people were wrong? A religion should be judged by its doctrine rather than the people (with exception to popes). Even if Catholicism were wrong, what about Christianity - and then, if Christianity is wrong, is it possible that God still exists? Of course it is. Similarly you seem to put a lot of attention on groups: Catholics, whites, Arabs, Zanj, etc. How logical is it to generalize the way that you do? I understand that we need to understand cultures and trends, but exceptions should always be noted. One logical proof for the necessity of God is the kalaam-cosmological argument. Existence consists of two beings: contingent and necessary. Contingent is something whose existence depends on something else. For example, I am contingent, because my existence depends on my parents marrying. This Earth is contingent, because it depends on the Sun and matter. A necessary being is that which has an independent existence, and does not rely on / come from anything else. Logically, you cannot have an endless chain of contingent things. There has to be a necessary thing at the end. Even if this universe came from another universe, there cannot be an endless chain of universes, because each would have their beginning and their composite materials. The First Cause, the First Mover, or the Ground of All Being has to be a necessary thing that is completely independent, and have no beginning. Now you may say, what if the necessary being was just an inanimate process? How do we know that it is a God with a will? The answer: if that necessary being had no will, then nothing would have happened. Before the universe, there would have to be two types of existence: (1) the necessary being by itself, and (2) the necessary being with contingent being(s). To get from 1 to 2, the necessary being needs to decide that, otherwise it would stay alone for the rest of eternity. And if it decided to create a contingent universe, then there must be a purpose to that universe. So here we are, the only intelligent species on this planet and in the known universe. Is it a coincidence that you were born intelligent out of billions of species? Is it a coincidence that this planet has just the right conditions for us to exist, and that a meteor has not wiped us all out in our infancy stages as a species? If it is a coincidence, and there is no God, then we would have no purpose. There would be no objective morality either, because we'd all just be colliding molecules with no intrinsic meaning. As for slavery, you say you reject it because it is illogical. As you may know, slavery was the primary economic system in many civilizations for many centuries. Aristotle certainly thought slavery was logical. When we think of slavery, we tend to think of the Trans-Atlantic slave trade, which black people have yet to recover fully from. But most Islamic caliphs were in fact sons of slaves. Discrimination against ex-slaves is still prominent in America, but discrimination against ex-slaves is very rare in the Islamic word. My great great grandfather may have been a slave and I would never know it. It was not primarily a racial classification, as many slaves in the Muslim world were from eastern Europe and the Berbers (who are basically white). Abolishing slavery completely was simply not feasible. However freeing a slave was considered a good deed, and turning your slave into an indentured servant was recommended (mukataba, 24:33), and freeing a slave was an atonement for certain sins (thihar, breaking an oath, etc.) There is a narration which implies that Allah dislikes slavery ("Surely, Gabriel came to me and said, 'O Muhammad! Surely, the most evil of your Umma are those who sell people." إنه أتاني جبرئيل فقال : يا محمد إن شرار اُمّتك الذين يبيعون الناس ). It goes without saying that even our modern "enlightened" economic system relies on the labour and exploitation of disadvantaged people. Hundreds of millions of people today, including many children, are doing hard labour for pennies, just so that the first world can maintain its lifestyle. At least slave owners had to pay for the food and shelter of their slaves, and some (like the Janissaries) were given a salary. Even if you consider all slavery to be fundamentally immoral, regardless of its economic or cultural nuances, an atheist would say that the slavers all "got away" with their crime. While we believe that those who mistreated their slaves will be held accountable on the Day of Judgment. Without God, the most logical way to live your life is to seek pleasure and take advantage of everyone. There would be no reason to be altruistic or sacrifice anything. As for skipping information on the 12 Imams: everything about Shiism emanates from the Prophet Muhammad (s), Fatima, and the 12 Imams. Even many of our logical arguments come from them. When you say that the only thing that is perfect in this world is science, please consider that philosophy is the basis of science. There would be no science without the law of non-contradiction and the principle of cause and affect. Also consider that science largely operates on the 5 senses. But questions on ethics and metaphysics cannot be answered through the senses. Science is also always at the drawing board, because new research always contradicts old research, and very little is set in stone. We still don't know for sure if eating eggs everyday is healthy for us (for example), partly because correlative studies are not indubitable, and cannot take all variables into consideration.
  16. 2 points
    BowTie

    What should i do?

    Being from the same country but raised in different countries means different culture and different backgrounds. Sayyeds don't solve problems man. You have a problem with your wife, sit with her, and see how you would work it out with her. Sayyeds can barely solve their own problems. They're humans like us. On the contrary, maybe she's unhappy scholars are being involved
  17. 2 points
    Asghar Ali Karbalai

    Missing members

    Even though it is just a forum yet for some it is like a family and that is why they care about members. Though Hassan spoke badly with me on this forum yet I am talking on behalf of those who consider shiachat as a family, like @Laayla @Carlzone @notme @Salsabeel @Ashvazdanghe @ali_fatheroforphans @Ruqaya101 @3wliya_maryam @skyweb1987 @Ralvi @AStruggler @IbnSina @Khadim uz Zahra @Sumerian @2Timeless @Lion of Shia @starlight @Sirius_Bright these people are the charm of shiachat and apologise to those whom I have not or forgotten to tag. and sisterfatima you are also a charm to this forum.
  18. 2 points
    Son of Placid

    Thoughts 2019

    Not off to a good start here. New years day I spoke to my son. He's in hospital, terminal cancer, won't make his 38th birthday. Flying across the country, will see him Friday. They are keeping him until I get there, then moving him to palliative care.
  19. 2 points
    This is cultural. When someone in your family dies, you honor and respect them by mourning, which means men don't cut their beards and women don't pluck their eyebrows or color their hair. It depends on your family how long the mourning period is maintained.
  20. 1 point
    Since there was nothing last week, two questions are this week. Week 2: Why do Good Things Happen to Bad People?
  21. 1 point
    Jahangiram

    Iraqi delegation in Israel

    There is no trust and there never will be trust with this tribe, that's the entire point i was trying to make. To give me an example of Israel cynically aiding Jordan just when the national interest of both countries intersected completely glosses over my point. Israel is also one of America's biggest trading partners, yet the nationalists in that country have enough dignity to reject such a faustian pact that spits on the blood and trust of the American people. Hopefully you will have enough dignity to reject a similar faustian pact, and not turn into an undignified apologist for a country unparalleled in its duplicity. There is no equivalence with Israel's duplicity and that of other countries - a fact best demonstrated by our knowledge that Israel has gone as far as directly murdering America's Navy crew in the past to advance its goals.
  22. 1 point
    Ralvi

    Marriage Help

    But do you know what marriage now entails? It’s lifelong contract between your soul and another for Allah. Research and involve your parents if you seriously want to marry
  23. 1 point
    KnowledgeSeeker36

    Conversion to Shi'ism

    Salam, This is not the case. I’ve always been so attached to my religion and have been aware of many religious principles. My story is not of a person who did not grow up with much religious education. Rather, I was brought up on religion and do have knowledge in areas that most Sh’ia Muslims also have. However, I wanted to further understand these beliefs. For example, Imamate has always made sense to me. However, I wanted to further know and understand Qur’an verses and hadith that point to Imamate. I am basically seeking a further understanding of what I was brought up on. Imam Ali (AS) also said “Learn your religion, do not inherit it.” Also, I am a sister who lives in the U.S.
  24. 1 point
    Nevsevug

    Marriage Help

    You need to get to the core of this problem. That being your sexual desires and what is causing you to have so many of them. Watch out for signals in your daily life and the things you watch. Try to avoid shows and movies that contain a lot of sexual messages(that would cancel a lot of the shows nowadays). Avoid looking at websites or social media platforms that contain a lot of sexual images or messages. For example, instragram is full of scantily clad women showing off their assets. Things like exercising and certain types of foods can also decrease libido. You should also learn to be careful about the things you think about. Train your mind to drive away negative thoughts. Practice mindfulness so your thoughts don’t trail off unnecessarily. Mutah isn’t the answer to all of life’s problems and neither is permanent marriage. Permanent marriage should lead to a lifelong spiritual physical and emotional connection with someone. Think about this repeatedly. It should last for your whole life. I don’t think this is the age where you would even understand yourself enough to find someone that is on your wavelength. Mutah cannot be your answer either. Firstly, tinder is a disgusting place full of disgusting people so I would never advise going there for a mutah. Other than that where would you find someone willing to do a mutah with you? What Muslim girl could you ask for that and how would you explain it to a non Muslim one? You will also need to figure out when and where to do this and as you are young, where will you go for the mutah? Are you able to go to a hotel or motel a few times? Where will you find the money? How will you explain to your parents where you’ve been or are going when you go to this place? What about the days or nights you won’t be able to be with your mutah wife but will still feel sexual urges? How long can you carry out the mutah? What will happen once it’s over or cannot continue any longer but you still have urges?
  25. 1 point
    Gabenowa

    Conversion to Shi'ism

    No it wont drive me away from Shia Islam my brother but thank you for your advice. There actually is an Al-AHL BAYT foundation in the southside of Afrique. There are local Shia Mosques right here one is in my city the capcity. Im not in a hurry because I have to be careful of religious instructors because I've read too much philosophy and history to be gullible. It's not the religious instruction I will concentrate on but on WHO is teaching me that will have an impact on me. In my Republic, Islam tends to be an identity and not a religion. If it is not a religion then why am I bothering? Islam tends to be associated with Indians and descendants of Indonesia in a certain port city down south pointed east in a certain city or Ismailis in another port city who stick to themselves. I know ISMAILIS AND THEY DONT KNOW THAT I know they are Ismailis. They think I just see them as Muslims. They're Ismailis because they conduct their businesses like ISMAILIS. they didnt think somebody one day would read about Ismailism and catch them out. Zanj in my country tend to convert to Islam because they are desperate for meaning. and they are desperate to escape the conditions of being Zanj. most are former criminals and former alchoholics. that means they dont interrogate what they are being taught. They just swallow it without giving it thought. I dont want to be associated with such desperate mindless people. Wahabbi MOsques feed the poor because they seek a slice of bread and then fill up their nonsense with that Salafi rubbish. Some of those DAESH killed in Iraq and Syria were from my country. Some have even come back and are filled with that nonsense in their heads. poisoned with rubbish in their minds because they have no meaning in their lives. I understand it all. Because I read a lot. Most people here on Shiachat dont represent Shia Islam, they only represent how they grew up thats all. Most Pakistanis are really ignorant and I dont blame them. Arabs are stupid because they dont have to think. Being Arab is like ISlamic royalty. You pray in my language so whatever. I know Islam and Shia Islam from what I read from Iran and India. People who are not here on Shiachat but thats okay. If I had to communicate with a Shia from Lebanon he'd probably tell me about Hezbollah and Amal. I wouldnt blame him or her because thats what they are born into. Everyone is born within their materialist reality and that influences their Islamic beliefs and practices. without that ISLAM would be a very poor religion. Thats what makes ISLAM a perfect religion. It has enveloped the world in such a way that no other religion can never do exactly because there is the universal message of equality of believers. Otherwise INDIANS would never have converted to Islam a thousand years ago.
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