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In the Name of God بسم الله

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Showing content with the highest reputation on 10/29/2018 in all areas

  1. 5 points
    ShiaMan14

    Quick question...

    Salaam. Temporary and permanent marriage can be done over the phone. 7Question: Is it valid to pronounce the marriage formula through a telephone? Answer: It is valid. https://www.sistani.org/english/qa/01250/
  2. 4 points
  3. 4 points
    Salam alaikum everyone I would like to thank each and every person from the bottom of my hearts for your responses, @Ruqaya101 @MartyS @rkazmi33 @Abu Hadi @2Timeless @Bakir @AbdusSibtayn @eloquence @layman alhamdullilah I am feeling much better now and I pray that Insha Allah your lives may be filled with joy, happiness and ease. I will try my hardest to be patient towards my parents inshallah and I'll leave everything else in the hands of Allah, if He wills for them to change or not @Bakir May Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى guide you and have ease in your life, for you are a strong brother who has gone through alot And @Ruqaya101 WALLAHI YOU MADE ME SO HAPPY LAST TONIGHT I'M SO GRATEFUL ALHAMDULLILAH YOU WERE SO EMOTIONAL all the best to everyone fee amanillah xx
  4. 4 points
    Laayla

    Make Shiachat Shiachat again

    Bismehe Ta3ala, Assalam Alikum. Alhamd'Allah I've been here for over a decade. I love ShiaChat, I can be anywhere in the world and I will return to SC! I highly dislike the fluid system. I don't understand why we can't have the old version. It was perfectly fine. Some mods are active more than others. I'm glad there is an array of mods, some I get along great others have beef with me because I voice my opinion strongly. Clearly, some can't handle my bluntness, they want to "keep the peace." I don't settle for compromising my beliefs, so I take the warnings. Once they want me out of this forum, well so be it. Alhamd'Allah I don't regret any of my posts, and I've learned from other members so much. There are a few I would love to meet in real life. M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah
  5. 4 points
    Hi, Maryam, You sound like such a sweet, good girl, I cannot help but give my perspective as a Western Christian mother and grandmother who was once 18...and a daughter, too. I can only imagine how difficult it must be living in a country where customs and traditions are so different from those of your parents--who feel responsible for your wellbeing in every way. I don't have any wisdom to share, because I'm totally unqualified. But I would love to share my perspective. Probably because you love God and do not want to displease Him, but also partly because your parents have loved you so much and protected you so much, you are pure physically and emotionally. Your self-image has not been scarred by terrible mistakes that young women typically make when they have all the freedom they want and feel like they can handle it. You are so far ahead of so many other girls. And you have such wise and loving family/friends whose posts I have read here. Trust them. Use this last year at home, before university, to give your parents every reason to trust you and be proud of you. Try to help with your siblings cheerfully. You're having this one last chance to impact their lives, make their growing-up years the best they can be. They will never forget you. And they will adopt your attitudes about life--whether positive or negative. I believe Muslim girls have beautiful brows! You will have many years to design them any way you like. But you can't put back what you already took away. My own daughter regrets the too-much plucking she did too-soon and has to dye fake brows now. (It's not the same as natural beauty!) When I was 18, I was an unwed mother, using mind-altering drugs. I wish my parents had loved me enough not to trust me, to be stricter with me. Perhaps, my children would not have lived their lives ashamed of me; my parents heartbroken by me; my self-image rightfully very low. Perhaps, I would not have tried to commit suicide after marrying my drug dealer when I was 20. I am eternally grateful for God's grace and forgiveness through the death and resurrection of His Son Jesus. Only God could save me. But I thank God for your parents and pray you will be patient, dear girl. None of these freedom restrictions will harm you, Maryam. They truly are for your protection. And they come from your parents' love...not hatred, or even apathy. Many blessings. You are a child of God. You have tremendous value to Him and to them! Have a beautiful, wonderful life as you become the beautiful and free woman you are intended to be! Peace,
  6. 4 points
    Bakir

    Siblings and Preserving Your Faith

    Any set of beliefs involve necessary sacrifices in all of our experiences. We shouldn't consider our job as sacred, or something over our values. I've considered this idea through many approaches. One of my jobs is being teacher in a university. In some cases, I identified marks that were put by other teachers by mistake (5/10 instead of 0.5/10). This was clearly a typo, and one of the managers told me that it's better if we just ignored it, to avoid all the bureaucracy involved in such an error. I refused, and told them I would rather lose my job instead of accepting such an injustice. If I was prepared to lose my job for one single principle, how can we not be prepared to lose it for OUR religion? Courage is an essential part of a muslim's character, and needs to be maintained, regardless of external influences. In the long run, if you don't feel comfortable with certain things, it's better to be honest. In my company all know I only eat halal food I personally bought and I don't enjoy alcohol gatherings (also because in many of these, I have felt very uncomfortable by others' behaviour towards me).
  7. 4 points
    "Akhab" in Arabic means prostitutes. The use of that word to describe the "other girls" pretty much summarizes everything... I absolutely understand you, but I should also warn you of yourself. Oppression leads to either rebellion or humiliation, which lead to either uncontrolled wrath or lack of self-esteem and depression. Sometimes these are both present in the individual. In my case it was like that. I became interested in religion, got obsessed with its study and practice. But neither salat-ul-layl which was never missed nor my constant duas could save me from my own self. The way out is responsible, controlled rebellion. But I didn't know that. I started by rebelling with small things out of wrath, and in matter of months, I saw myself taking drugs and barely having any limit. I was lucky I didn't get any STD nor brain-damage. I felt these acts were some sort of vengueance towards my own father, because that was definitely not me nor what I wanted for my life. I didn't enjoy any of these activities, because my heart never searched for them either. But it is precisely these disgusting comparations "Don't be like those girls" and constant opression that ruin it all for you. You end up looking for vengueance by being worse than those girls. You end up developing a sick behaviour. Seriously, these people who are lost, are probably not evil people. They are, most likely, broken inside. No one enjoys having sex in a night club's bathroom if there are no causes behind. But we learn not to even think about that, we are taugh to put etiquettes to those people, and look them like garbage. Until we become one of them. To this day, my father hasn't changed, his pressures are constant, and his words still affect me, but in a significantly less dangerous way. I take everything he says with a bit of salt. He's one iraqi more who didn't want to have children, but copies of himself or what he would have wanted to be, and he can't care less about the actual person he gave birth to. Nobody is going to save you but yourself, that's the cruel reality. Don't expect to marry someone who's gonna save you, because people are already busy trying to save themselves, in the best of cases. Read, work hard to get a job, and build a strong character and life plan for yourself. That's the best you can do. My sister went through the same, she was beaten, threatened to marry, hijab and islamic school imposed, and she managed to find a way out. She married a Western guy she chose and who converted to Islam, has her own company and is happily married. But she achieved all that by not losing hope on herself, by setting her own goals, and by working hard on herself. No man came to save her, when she married, she was already very well. And by the way, she has a very close and beautiful relation with both parents, especially my mother who has always been happy she managed not to go crazy because of my father. Such fathers are just toxic. If you don't lose your head, marry an iraqi idiot, or don't commit suicide, you are already a survivor.
  8. 3 points
    Salam, I often have discussions with my siblings and they keep putting me down for following Islamic laws, saying how I won't survive in the modern world if I follow such backward laws. My siblings work in companies and they often say that you need to be open-minded otherwise you won't be able to integrate into the culture. For example, I know we can't sit in a table where alcohol is served. They kept saying that this is a bs law as a lot of work dinners involve alcohol to be served. They threaten me that I'll have no friends when I start working if I hold such views. Although I have many non-Muslim friends who accept me for who I am, my siblings don't seem to respect me at all. I also told them about a youth Shia program I attended, and they literally exploded, telling me how I'm a loser and will get brainwashed. Why the ignorance? I need advice on how to react.
  9. 3 points
    starlight

    Make Shiachat Shiachat again

    Yes. Let's not go into the details.
  10. 3 points
    starlight

    Make Shiachat Shiachat again

    Thank you @realizm for the nice post. At least someone here is acknowledging the efforts of the team. I am by no means complaining about this but all of the team members spend so much time sometimes hours, cleaning up threads, responding to member requests about name change and editing the posts,filtering spam messages. You have no idea what the site would have been if left unattended even for a couple of hours. Someone complained about @Khadim uz Zahra earlier. Kuz is a Uni student with a tough schedule and once he spent more than twelve hours watching the site when there was a porn attack on SC,taking down videos within minutes. He spent the whole night doing that to spare you from the disgusting stuff. Someone threatened to run me and my children over by his car.The site admins work hard to protect it from hackers and this is just the tip of the iceberg.... I would reiterate what @notme said, a lot more goes behind the scenes than the members are aware of. One thing I would like to tell people here which I think lots of you won't know is that 95% of moderating 'action' from taking down posts to banning members is discussed by the team first and if need be, we take a poll.Only then we make a definite decision.So when a warning is issued by a team member it doesn't mean that it was his/her decision alone,he/she simply sent the warning message on behalf of the whole team so the suggestion of going through the ban thread doesn't mean anything. @Darth Vader Tbh, this whole thread of yours doesn't mean anything but if you want to have some fun,go ahead. Shiachat is already Shiachat.
  11. 3 points
    Irfani313

    Make Shiachat Shiachat again

    Darth- don’t you back off now. You started a Tsunami already so stay with us. I bet at least three Mods on here are itching to chew us alive, they are just holding back I guess being mganinmous due to Arba’een. I’m off to majlis making dua’ for rehma in some odd Mod’s heart -:)
  12. 3 points
    Islandsandmirrors

    Illegitimate Children

    I would say treat them the same and be respectful, but at the same time, encourage them to get married. Try to understand the reason why they choose to not get married. Is it out of fear of being “stuck” with someone? Is it for the benefits? If it’s out of fear, then try to reassure them that relationships and marriages only go downhill when one or the other or both stop communicating or putting effort to maintain happiness. It doesn’t just happen when you sign the marriage papers. I would let them know that children deserve the rights that come with a married family unit. If they refuse after all of that, then it’s on them. Allah will either show mercy on them or not.
  13. 3 points
    Maryaam

    Make Shiachat Shiachat again

    What an excellent idea! This place was irrevocably changed after the mega banning spree over a few months for anyone who irritated specific mods. I was even threatened with being banned - even mild mannered me.. We lost so many members that contributed to interesting ongoing discussions, debates with their varied and extreme viewpoints. It was interesting and thought provoking and passionate! When you checked in there was always some topic that grabbed your attention. There definitely were some characters on here, but I totally disagreed with banning 90% of them.
  14. 3 points
    realizm

    Make Shiachat Shiachat again

    Number one rule for a forum is longevity. Better off with a loyal team than members changing every two months. You talk about elections here, I say be grateful to those who dedicate their time. Because they stay on duty while members tend to come and go so quickly. Just see how often we see members getting hyperactive for 6 months and then disappearing.
  15. 3 points
    Salam alaikum everyone, I hope you all are in the best of health inshallah, allahuma sali ala muhammad wa aali muhammad I just want to start by asking everyone if youse can please keep me in your prayers for I am going through quite a hard time at the moment. I am offering to make dua for anyone here as I have mentioned before that my dad will inshallah be going to cairo to visit the shrine of Imam Hussein (as), so if you guys have any needs or anything at all please don't be afraid to ask so that I can write it down on a piece of paper on your behalfs This is going to be a very long essay, but I really need to let my inner thoughts and feelings out, and I would like to hear some advice from others and hopefully it will loosen the tight knot in my chest. Throughout my childhood, I was a very sensitive person (and still am). I would take almost everything to heart, cry over stupid things and I never realised how serious that was till I became older. And it took quite a long time for me to change and become less sensitive. At the age of 14, I started to gain an interest towards my deen and I was known to be very religious and my parents looked upon me as that type of girl who was different from other girls. I even performed hajj during that year alhamdullilah it was such a beautiful experience. When I turned 16, I changed schools (an ISLAMIC SCHOOL) that had an impact on me. Although I did get influenced, I didn't completely change to the worst, but I did change and overall my personality changed and I became much more less sensitive and I felt like people found it hard to joke around with me or try to talk to me about certain things because of my sensitivity. Maybe I kind of lost my faith, but currently I am trying my best to increase my imaan again and try to be better But this isn't the problem at the moment. The real problem here is my parents My parents have been bought up in a very conservative society, with strict rules especially for girls. Before I never used to think that my parents were even that strict and I would tell myself that there are other families much more strict than mine so I should be grateful, but now I've had a different perspective towards that. THEY ARE SUPER STRICT. And it is very hard to open up to them, to tell them how I feel about certain things, because I just feel like they'll never understand how we feel as youth growing up in a different society. They think that whatever they're doing or whatever they believe is right and that they're doing all this to protect us which is true, but they just have too many restrictions which drives me insane as well as their over protectiveness. Ever since I have recently finished high school, I have been feeling trapped, and I've never experienced this kind of trap feeling before. Because of this, I have been experiencing a lot of mood swings as well as getting irritated very easily and mad. I have always been complaining to myself about having no freedom at all Things have became very difficult but alhamdullilah for everything. I have two really young sisters that I have to help look after everyday, same routine almost every single day. Before I never really used to complain about freedom, I never used to think about it that much, and thought that my parents were doing the right thing and that I should just listen to them. But now, I'm turning 18 by the end of this year inshallah, and I have realised that I haven't had that much freedom, I wasn't able to go out to places with friends, or barely even go to friends' house unless accompanied by a parent which sucks really and thinking about it now hurts. I wasn't allowed to do the typical things that normal teenage girls would do. Just thinking about how much my parents have restricted from me just bothers me and I always used to think that they weren't that strict compared to other families which is true but they are still generally strict. I felt like this kinda affected my self esteem and confidence, for i have always been a shy and quiet person because I would barely go out. Even tho things have became difficult recently, before my mum gave birth to my two younger siblings, it has always been like that. Not much freedom I remember one time when my mum was overseas, my sister had to go to some friend's house to work on an assignment i think, and my mum said no because she wasn't here and she wasn't allowed to go. Like seriously if you're Iraqi and you live in this strict iraqi household you'll understand Whenever i Would be invited to go somewhere I would say no, because I always felt like my mum would refuse. I'm going to bring up the topic again about how my parents almost lost their trust with me just because I plucked my brows behind their back. The last two years of highschool I felt really insecure about them and my mum would tell me there's nothing wrong with them, and that I'm not like those other girls, she would keep calling them "akhab" (idk the translation in english) and that apparently my reputation would be ruined if they see me pluck my brows. That apparently a girl who doesn't wax her face ppl have more respect for her smh.. it made me feel really insecure and I did get some bullying for it. I didn't tell them that though, it's just so hard to open up to them because they think they're always right. I give them proof that plucking eyebrows is not haram, yet they have the audacity to say that it is WITHOUT GIVING ME ANY PROOF BTW. I freaking gave them proof from our own marja'a that its not haram. Sometimes I just feel like they only care about what society will think but not how we feel as youth growing up in this generation, since their heels are so digged into this culture that dates back to the stone ages. Like so many families have already grown out of it and let their daughters do it, so idk what people they're talking about. You know what's funny? They worry so much about what other people are gonna think and how my reputation would get ruined, yet if I tell them that I don't like how they stand out, they will tell me not to care about people and fear Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى. It just doesn't make sense and that's the problem with families growing up in very conservative societies, they don't like change and they don't like it when their own children correct them when they're wrong. They say stuff like ohh you'll understand one day, but for gods sake I'm already turning 18. I was seen as a bad person for doing them, my mum even threatened me that I would be sent to my country if I laid my hand on them. I found that hard to believe and just thought that she was only saying that to scare me but she was being dead serious. I know some of youse might think that I am making such a huge deal about this, and yes I am. It's been driving me crazy. Sometimes I just try and pretend to not worry about it but it always bothers me. Every single day I pray for my parents. I pray for their health, their wellbeing, and I pray for their lives to be prolonged. But I also pray that Allah allows them to have a change of heart and for them to be more open minded and lenient. I am even starting to doubt my love for them. It's not just about my brows, that's not the only reason. It's just my parents in general. I always think about convincing them but everytime I imagine myself doing that, they'll get mad and say stuff which will make me mad and I can't control my temper. I should be grateful for everything they've done for me, but I just want them to feel what I've been feeling. How trapped I am. How they think that whatever they're doing is right even tho we may not like it. They'd assume that I'm a bad person and wanna be like the other girls. Well I aint gonna lie, it did kinda have an influence on me. But I started to see things differently. Usually when some people tell me that my brows are fine, I would agree them and be like yeah okay, but now no matter who comes and says that there's nothing wrong with them I don't get convinced myself not because I think that they're lying but it's just the way i see them are different. Like doesn't that show that I'm only doing it for myself and not for others? Sometimes I have hope, but then i start having doubts. Everytime I think that my parents will give me some freedom once I get to uni, I think about how is that even possible when they're restricting me from the smallest thing ever ? I don't want marriage to be the first thing on my list to gain my freedom. I get this feeling sometimes where I just wanna leave my home and walk out the door. I'm sorry for the really long essay, but I just had to rant. I hope youse can understand my situation and give me some advice to worry less. I promise I will make dua for anyone who wants May Allah grant us all jannah and may Allah allow us to be alongside the AhlulBayt(as) on the day of judgement and may Allah protect us from the punishment of the grave, Ameen. fee amanillah
  16. 3 points
    Salaam- thanks Darth bro for starting this thread. Only a veteran member like yourself could start it, others who are not as equals as you are, would get banned. I’m not being sarcastic here, this is all I would says as my judgement on certain MODs on SC. In real life, in my workplace, we get rid of managers who fire lots of people or under whom many employees quit in short period of time. We need to have the same mentality here on SC, just go back in the “banned” thread and fire all of the Mods who have banned the most amount of members. We don’t need to be mommie’d by a KG teacher who corners each and everybody on small infringes only to announce a ‘bring your favorite toy day’ to look good to parents. 2. Number one being above, I think the Dev team went too overboard from the old SC look and feel. Currently things are all over, hard to find, (it took me three clicks to get to this most recent thread of yours). Site owners handed SC to trigger happy mommies (some baseball wielding dads too) and video game developers and this is what we got. 3. The only reason I now come here time and again is to get ideas on a few things I’m working on, and for a few of you here who I would love to make my friends in real life, given we SC’ers ever meet in the ‘day of Hashr’. Other than that, #2 above mentioned people have made SC a dead Texan wasteland with tumbleweeds all over. More later.
  17. 3 points
    Of course they would. It requires a positive collaborative attitude to overcome these differences, but intolerance tends to prevail. This is actually a mathematical fact and one of the greatest ubiquous threats of human societies. If I get some time, I would like to write on the topic referring to some modern sociological research on the subject, as it is very interesting in fact.
  18. 3 points
    It is so sad to see idiotic cultural taboos pushing away young sisters further away from Islam. All because of the obstinate idiocy of some elders. May Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى aid you, sister. One thing I would suggest is, maintain a diary dedicated to Imam Zaman(ajtf), and write out all your inner rumblings to him. Write one page daily, and if you don't find the time, a few pages weekly. Start off by writing 'Ya Aba Saleh' or 'Ya Qa'im ul Aal', and then begin to write. See if that makes you feel lighter. He(aj) will surely show you the way out, inshaallah.
  19. 3 points
    abdulhamid

    How to turn someone down gently?

    Salaam everyone. Bros, pull it together - your male fragility is showing! To answer the original question: "No, this isn't going to work out. Good luck. insha'Allah, wassalaamu aleykum" Simple and honest. Always the best policy.
  20. 3 points
    power

    Siblings and Preserving Your Faith

    You are mentally stronger than them in your faith, while they are weak in there faith, and maybe its having a psychologically impact on them. Just continue with in the way you are and maybe in due course they will eventually will give up.
  21. 3 points
    Ralvi

    Siblings and Preserving Your Faith

    Agreed with above. I follow the rules to the best of my abilities and that’s all that should matter. Those who don’t are merely trying to fit in and make folks who don’t care, care about you. They don’t care about your or your principles, so it’s up to you to uphold them because Allah watches all. I commend you for not sitting with a place with alcohol, becuase you shouldn’t. Why put yourself near something that’s only going to bring harm to mind and soul? God wants best for us and he knows more, so we should be ok? We can advance without breaking our principles and of course we will inshallah.
  22. 3 points
    Leave them be
  23. 3 points
    Don't react, Don't participate.
  24. 3 points
    Carlzone

    How to turn someone down gently?

    Thank you bro! InshaAllah! We already reached Karbala after 49 hours and 8 minutes alhamdulillah weshokorr. I prayed and walked for all momineen and mominaat and muslimeen and muslimaat.
  25. 2 points
    2Timeless

    Make Shiachat Shiachat again

    Everyone keeps talking about how mods and admins dedicate all their time. Okay, we appreciate that (for the sincere and good ones) but some mods and admins seem to come on here to seek an adrenaline rush by playing with members like they're yoyos, banning and unbanning them in the span of 5 minutes, policing the chatroom like they own it etc.. not all mods are amazing just because they spend alot of time on here. Yes, there are good mods and admins, but that shouldn't undermine the fact that there are some incredibly disrespectful and biased ones. Any argument with one or defence is also used against you, and another justification for unnecessary bans. Also, there is a huge lack of consistency with the way members are treated by mods and admins, which highlights the biased nature of many members of the team.
  26. 2 points
    I agree that each mod has their own strengths and weaknesses, but I also think mods are meant to stay neutral where there is chaos on some threads. Not going to name any, but I have noticed that a couple can get very nasty and personal in a way that I feel is inappropriate for a mod. I understand that everyone has good and bad days, but to take it out on other users and get downright nasty on multiple occasions make me believe that some abuse their power. I wrote a poem once on this site, and a mod removed it although it violated no guidelines, and it was removed because the mod personally didn’t like it. Other mods saw it and thought it was fine, but another mod removed it, and the other mods said sorry and backed that mod up because they obviously would not tear each other down or question another’s decisions.... to me, this particular act seemed like an abuse of power and inserting personal feelings where there should be none. I do like most of the mods, though.
  27. 2 points
    AbdusSibtayn

    Thoughts 2018

    Why does SC not have the 'love' react !?
  28. 2 points
    You speak the truth, we want quality, not quanity. The last election ruined SC in my humble opinion^
  29. 2 points
    I am so freaking glad! You are strong my brother and im really glad to call you one. You know what? you shouldn't, wallah im telling you as someone who has seen mothers mourn over their children that have committed suicide, or ended up in jail, those are the mothers you should feel bad for. Just make her proud bro, do whatever it takes to see her smile and to hear her laugh. Give her all the years that she spent crying and turn it into laughter. Let her see you grow and let her know and guarantee that what she went through will not go to waste because you and your siblings in sha Allah will give her all the joy and happiness that she didn't have. What comes around goes around. This is from experience. What comes around goes around... keep that in your mind. Nothing will pass without questioning. I actually just came back from a majlis for the arba3een and met up with @3wliya_maryam there, where I hadn't seen her for over a year and I was able to sit down and remind her that there are people like you, going through all that you did, yet you still made it out alhamdulilah. And I reminded her of the majlis that we just attended and heard where they were speaking about how Zainab AS had to deal with going to Karbala, only to come to the most hurtful realisation that there was almost no one left. she was all alone. I reminded her of the blessings she has, all that is surrounding her. And at least she has people to confide in with brothers like you and sisters too. I always make an effort to show my love and appreciation to my parents. I made it my goal to change their behaviours, the way they see things and how they deal with bad news. And I haven't got there just yet, but my siblings and I did change things about them. We taught them to relax and not everything is a big deal. we taught them how to deal with their anger. we taught them that their conservative ways were wrong in many cases. we used hadeeths, quranic verses, scientific facts, everything we could find to change their mentality. I mean, it took what felt like 100 years but at the end we managed to get somewhere. my siblings and I practically raised my parents min Jidda wa jadeed as Iraqis would say. its not impossible, takes many years for it to take effect but results will show eventually. Unfortunately the same cannot be said about your father but I seriously pray on behalf of this day too that Allah eases your paths, gives a newly profound happiness to your mother, every mother out there, enlightens the minds and hearts of all our siblings and guides our fathers, has mercy on them too. Seriously y'all, dont ever lose hope and always see the blessings that surround you, the smallest thing could count. And if your mind is clouded, and its hard to see what blessings lie around you then remember Mohamad SAWS and His Ahlul bayt, what they had to endure. peace.
  30. 2 points
    A mod or two needs to change. A couple of them aren’t really fair and do a poor job at remaining neutral. They need to stop abusing their power, like @2Timeless said.
  31. 2 points
    Darth Vader

    Make Shiachat Shiachat again

    Of course they are helpful and fine. Therefore it is our duty, as a nation, to respond by asking to change them. Just for fun and tradition's sake.
  32. 2 points
    On the other hand, the mailbox format keeps the users informed about the newest threads in each section. Never had any problems with the administration panel, honestly. In fact they have been very helpful and very accessible, especially sister @Hameedeh and brother @Qa'im.
  33. 2 points
    Bakir

    Make Shiachat Shiachat again

    The check mark model reminds of email managers. It would work well, if it wasn't because there are tons of sections. There are many categories that make thread creation harder and navigation futile. Thus, people will just go to their activity streams instead of using categories. 7-12 main categories is actually a reasonable margin. Mod elections are fun. Though SC moderation is already ok, tbh better than ever... I would also like to add, sad and confused reactions may not be the most fitting in this forum. If you are confused about a post, reply and interact verbally, don't react with an emoji... As for sad, "my prayers" seem to work perfectly fine instead. I would try to keep things more simple all in all...
  34. 2 points
    Laayla

    Please help :) (bad roommate)

    Bismehe Ta3ala, Wa Alikum Assalam. Brother, okay so he is sunni, I hope that isn't the issue. Please show good akhlaq towards this brother. When you show positive energy and as Imam Sadiq said, "O Shia community, be an adornment for us [among people], and not a disgrace to us. Say good words to people, guard your tongues, and restrain yourselves from mindless chatter and offensive speech.” (Amali al-Saduq) You do the opposite brother, when you invite friends invite him too. He has family too, look at him as a brother who makes mistakes, but look at him with mercy and understanding. You will be fine, brother. M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah
  35. 2 points
    @Bakir thank you for sharing that, I hope things are better for you now. I wish conservative Muslims could see this. Like in @3wliya_maryam and many others' case, parents probably sincerely believe that they're doing the best thing for their child but there just pushing them away and doing more harm than good. The sad reality is, even if some parents read about what you'd been through, Bakir, they'll still put you in the 'other' category, and define you by your mistakes. Its good that you haven't let them define you.
  36. 2 points
    Bakir

    All animals are good?

    What is this thread about man? Lol...
  37. 2 points
    No problem Laayla! I just reflected upon my life. It was not difficult to realize my wrong reasoning, it just required me to think a little bit, to use my head. I had no need to commit any sins, nor to destroy myself out of some absurd understanding of vengueance. To this day, I am not free of this feeling, though it is much less dangerous than before. But for example, I feel some sick happiness in not becoming a phD, merely because I know I'm not giving my father that pride he was so obssesed with. But this is where it gets dangerous socially speaking. Sins out of vengueance. I have identified my same situation in many other muslim youth in my local community, both men and women. Family pressure becomes so unbearable that they end up developing some pleasure towards breaking their parents norms, culture, etc, Islamic rules being part of this "etc". And it only gets worse when parents realize this and, instead of searching for reconciliation, they put even more pressure. They have no limits. And this leads to children having no limits either in this sinful gratification which, in the end, is only destroying their lives. This pattern seems to be very common among Iraqi families in the West, as far as I have been able to observe. And it has its causes. I am not going to blame Shaitan for this, but bad parents. As for my mother... I really feel bad for her. She's been a victim all her life, very passive. My father wronged her without any limit. It is obvious that I hate him for that, can't hide it, but I try to be educated and hypocrite with him, because I think he's mentally ill or just an idiot. She doesn't have a strong character, definitely not. But she cares a lot for us, and we, her children, are all she has. She deals with him the best way she's been able ti. They have been separated for over a decade though.
  38. 2 points
    Sumerian

    All animals are good?

    There are even more deformed creatures, according to some hadith. This is a list of deformities in the animal Kingdom - The elephant was a King who used to commit fornication. - The wolf was a bedouin cuckold(?). - The rabbit was a woman who used to cheat on her husband, and not purify herself from her cycle. - The bat was a person who used to steal people's dates. - Apes and pigs are from amongst the Children of Israel that violated the Sabbath. Perhaps even more examples. Note that deformities doesn't mean those animals weren't around before that, of course they were, as science confirms that. But that Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى punished these humans who were evil by turning them into these creatures, and other hadith indicate they didn't survive 3 days after this change and that they never had children in their animal deformed state. This is just a fun fact about deformities.
  39. 2 points
    Ahh, roommates.... Well at least he does some cleaning. I had to spend months with drinking, partying people who wouldn't even wash their dishes. Believe me, your situation could be much worse than this. Be patient brother. With my du3as.
  40. 2 points
    AbdusSibtayn

    Quick question...

    Assalamu alaikum, Unlike the Sunni fiqh, the Ja'fari fiqh does not require witnesses to be present at the time the aqd is pronounced, either during mutah or permanent jawaz. So it can be done over the phone.
  41. 2 points
    It doesn’t seem like you’re being unreasonable in your commitment to your religious beliefs, nor are they unreasonable for looking at your actions from a socially accepted, cultural standpoint. You and your siblings are coming from entirely different views, and it’s not wrong, just different. As my husband says, let these things go over your head. Whenever they criticize you, it’s in one ear out the other.
  42. 2 points
    Irfani313

    Siblings and Preserving Your Faith

    This is as if Allah swt is talking to you @ali_fatheroforphans Say, "If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, wealth which you have obtained, commerce wherein you fear decline, and dwellings with which you are pleased are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger and jihad in His cause, then wait until Allah executes His command. And Allah does not guide the defiantly disobedient people." 9:24 This is as if Allah swt is talking about your siblings with respect to you. “You will not find a people who believe in Allah and the Last Day having affection for those who oppose Allah and His Messenger, even if they were their fathers or their sons or their brothers or their kindred. Those - He has decreed within their hearts faith and supported them with spirit from Him. And We will admit them to gardens beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally. Allah is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him - those are the party of Allah . Unquestionably, the party of Allah - they are the successful”. 58:22 W’salam
  43. 2 points
    notme

    Quick question...

    Yes, you can, or over internet voice chat, but as far as I know not by text only. I can probably find a ruling by Sayyid Sistani in one of my books tomorrow, inshaAllah, if someone hasn't found it for you online before then.
  44. 2 points
    @Bakir You had me reduced to tears. Thank you for sharing this. I feel so inspired by your strength. You are in my prayers Brother.
  45. 2 points
    @Ruqaya101 @3wliya_maryam Iol you guys are like bffs
  46. 2 points
    Aflower

    How to turn someone down gently?

    Salam, I'd suggest that you are polite, firm and direct about refusing his proposal. I don't believe that you should give any reasons or an explanation for your refusal as this may: 1. Hurt his ego and knock his confidence. 2. Give him the idea that if he changes certain qualities/attributes/his appearance such as growing a beard etc. he may then meet your requirement. This will give him false hopes of there still being a chance of you changing your mind in the future with regards to marrying him. 3. Open the door to him trying to convince you as to why you are mistaken. After this I'd suggest that you end all communication with him. If he truly loves you/cares for you then it's better for him if you distance yourself from him to allow him to have closure. With regards to the death in his family, of course it's very sad and I understand that you do not want to upset him further. But, please bear in mind that he may resent you much more if you delay informing him about your decision if you are absolutely certain that there is no possibility of you ever marrying him. Good luck.
  47. 2 points
    Laayla

    Where is Jamal Khashoggi???

    3:46 on Sheikh Nimr Baqir al Nimr
  48. 2 points
    Depends on the husband.
  49. 2 points
    Haji 2003

    Sunni Shia marriage?

    Why don't you 'game' this? Project forward and consider what happens when significant family situations arise, for example: The upbringing of children, will you simply tell them to attach (r.a.) next to all historical names? When the kids see him never attend majalis and you do, what will the effect be on them? Co-existence is what antagonistic nuclear powers do - not married couples.
  50. 2 points
    Bakir

    Upset by the prevailing bad traditions

    The best way to teach anything is to lead by example. You don't need money, nor a job position nor a social category for that. But then, we may face another problem, much more important than any social worry we may have, and that is the lack of meaning of everything (it is more of a feeling than a belief we think we have). What is most interesting from this feeling is that it exists because we forced a meaning in some part of our life. If you force the meaning of life to be improving society's morals and souls, you are doomed, as this task is beyond your control to begin with. Any person who knowledge is revealed to him wants it for others, for their own good, and because he genuinely believed in this knowledge. However, this would inevitably lead to more suffering the more knowledge you attain, and with it, to solitude. There is, however, and that is just my own opinion, beauty in the individual freedom people have. Beauty in choices, in learning, in discovering by experience if not by studying. I think all people deserve, as I enjoyed myself, the pleasure to learn by their own. In that sense, you cannot teach, but inspire others to think, either in a reasonable discourse with proper eloquence and/or leading by example, which is the preferred way in Islam when it comes to akhlaq. My point is, we don't have to recite Nahjul Balagha to people. If we set a goal to guide someone (which is something very risky), we should be able to inspire that person to read it. And that csn perfectly take years, just one person.
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