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Thoughts: I wish I could drop out of school. I don't want a degree. I want to buy a cabin near the woods and start a berry farm, learn the art of french cheese-making, draw and paint paintings all day, read, write poetry, write and illustrate an Islamic book for children, be an awesome housewife who wears lots of pretty dresses, and raise 3 children who will be the soldiers of our Imam (atfs). That's all.

Asalamu Alaikum Ali. As a convert myself insha'Allah I can perhaps lend you some advise. Those first few years, have patience. Have patience with yourself, your family, and life in general. When I converted it (among other issues) led to me having to leave my home. The ridicule I faced from my family and the constant battles with my mother became to much to bear and frustrated me beyond all belief. However what made the situation as bad as it had become was not just my families attitude, but my impatience with them. You will have to learn to let a lot of things go and forgive them for it. Let them vent, let them get angry, let them say what they need to say and keep good manners with them and things will change. Maybe not right away from in time. From what you said you seem like you have taken a pretty non-confrontational route with these issues, so thats a very good start. Unlike myself I confronted my family every step of the way lol. But Al-hamdulillah today my mother has not only accepted me but shares a 'subtle' but present admiration for Islam. In fact she did so much research about Islam for the purpose of debating me on issues she knows more than some Muslims I have met lol. So remain patient, stay respectful and loving, and do the best you can to follow Al-Quran and Sunnah and don't compromise on that.

(bismillah) :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

What are you talking about? Where are you getting your information? Foreplay is not haram. It's mustahab. There are narrations about this. And what restrictions? 1. No intercourse during the period. 2. No sex toys - just your bodies. 3. One man + one wife. That's it. The rest is free and up to your imagination and ingenuity.

Foreplay is haram? Are you kidding me bro I can give you many hadith which say it is mostahab and sometimes wajib depending on how the hadith is interpreted

It's crazy with or without religion.

That's so beautiful :wub:That's my dream life. But I want a horse, so when ever I am bored I can go ride my horse with the wind blowing on my face. And a lake right beside the cabin!

for the sake of islamic unity

The perception of marriage has changed and it has been built up as a grand spectacle over the centuries, and as such expectations were raised and increasing failures became inevitable and selection of a spouse began to revolves around aesthetics, finance and university education. The grandeur of the wedding ceremony, the long engagement process, the endless parties beforehand have all contributed to this, as well as the media's incessant ramblings about finding the one, true love, and happiness. It should be seen as another vital transition in life but a necessary and inevitable one. It is just another stage in life and like one goes from childhood to the teenage years for example, one goes from being single to getting married. The beauty of pleasing Allah, completing half your deen and the harmony of creating a family, has taken an inferior and secondary position to the size of the wedding hall, the cost of the wedding dress and the location of the honeymoon.

Because there just aren't that many people really worth marrying around, let alone ones that are free, the right age, in the right part of the world, etc.

And I know people who were not so lucky as you and their financial strife eventually resulted in marital strife. All I am saying is be responsible and realistic because some people get married and believe the taxpayers owe them something due to their irresponsible decisions.

palak gosht

Im too Paki.. i even got my prayer RUG green :lol:

Because many muslims place primary emphasis on material things like wealth, status, etc and spiritual growth and development is a far second, while many non muslims realize that being in an intimate relationship with someone you care about and share good and bad and sacrifice with is a good healthy thing and leads to spiritual growth. They are willing to sacrifice some of their wealth, status, perceive 'reputation' and go against the grain and maybe even upset their families in order to get this benefit while many muslims are not willing to do that. Islam places primary emphasis on spiritual growth and development and marriage is a big part of that and many non muslims realize this subconciously because Islam is the fitra of every human being. As to why many muslims place primary emphasis on wealth and status and many communities support this it goes back to a hadith of Imam Reda(a.s) which says that Islam was once a stranger and it will again become a stranger before the coming of our Living Imam(a.f.s), Al Hujjat. The opinions of many here about marriage prove this hadith to be true.

(bismillah) (salam) Your family actually loves you, its honestly why they argue and fight over these issues. There is a view in the society in which you live of what is 'normal' and 'rational' and Islam doesn't fit into these categories. What your family sees in Islam is this; there are prohibitions against music, prohibitions against pork and alcohol, prohibitions against premarital sex and dating, prohibitions against women showing their bodies. They see a list of negatives. They don't see the positives because the positives in any of this aren't easily seen when the things being prohibited are believed in societal standards as 'normal'. Islam is portrayed, although these portrayals are better now than 10 years ago, as a death cult. Many still don't see much farther than that and it scares them, so your family in you sees this; You have just joined up with the largest death cult in the world and are no longer 'normal'. Of course they are going to fight you, tease you, try any means possible to get you to change your current choice. Of course Islam isn't a bunch of people who live only for death, and of course Islam is a beautiful religion teaching a more holistic, natural and in general a good way of life. It is the Islam you see that you will need to show them. Allah does not expect your life to change over night, HE expects you to gradually integrate the precepts of Islam into your daily life, eventually becoming the best you possible. Not only are you trying to work on changing your habits, but a convert has the added pressure of family at the same time, and their concerns and fears. This is my advice to you, rather than coming upon a situation and suddenly springing it on your family that you cant sit with them, for instance, a better way might be to talk to them about the teachings of Islam. Maybe some before the event and some more after but when you first tell them something is not allowed don't do it by saying I wont be sitting at the table with you. You can be helping your mother with putting groceries away and say to her "you know, this religion I feel sure is correct that I have started following, Islam, I think its really good for me. It teaches that alcohol is bad for you and you shouldn't be around it." Then give her (or other family members) the opportunity to say how they might feel and discuss with them, your feelings too, maybe you think to yourself that it is a difficult thing to do but you agree with the concept. In this manner you are not shoving a lot of what they perceive as negatives in their face, but a lot of dialogue and positives. In this way also you aren't burning yourself out. When you try to change a hundred things about your life and the way you are living it all in the same day you will eventually become overwhelmed and go back to you old lifestyle because the new is too hard. Then you will later feel guilty about that and go back to trying to change a hundred things all in the same day and thus begins a cycle of, for lack of a better word, failure. You are human, Allah knows your human, and all HE asks is one thing at a time, and an ongoing attempt to become what you were created to be. Pick out the most important things first, prayer in my opinion as a new convert is the most important, and also one of the hardest, there is a story about a convert to Islam who bought three alarm clocks and placed them between their bed and the bathroom all set at intervals and they would turn the first one off and go back to sleep then have to leave their bed to turn the other one off and fall back asleep on the floor and then the third one would go off and in the turning off of that alarm they would be so near the bathroom that they went ahead and made wudhu for the fajr prayer until one day they did not need all of those clocks. There are so many things that are difficult when you are not used to doing them, getting out of bed for a fajr prayer is only one, but you can work towards making these things habits. Speak to your family rather than announce, after several times of talking to your family about what Islam says concerning the prohibition of alcohol (and even eating a few times with them when alcohol is served) then you can say to them this time you would like to put this teaching into practice and not sit with them, maybe by then they will be open to the concept and tell you they simply wont serve alcohol with the meal so that you can eat with them. These are just some few advices, and I pray I was able to help somewhat. Remember, Muslims are not perfect, they are only a people who try their best everyday, it is all any of us can really do.\ Ma'a Salaama

when i was kid i just stand in front of mirror and act like m the princess lolz and my mama always got me and then she took pics now they really make me :lol: "]

will get out of it how i get in :donno:

seriously? but why it looks like so out of place lol

Look, take your religion from authentic sources, not old wives' tales popular on the subcontinent. Whatever you heard, just disregard until you see proof for it in the form of a hadith or at least a fatwa from a marja. The subcontinent is a very messed up place, with lots of sexual repression, and consequently abuse going on. Whatever you hear on the subject from there is almost certainly rubbish.

[Note from Mod: The image you have posted in this thread has been removed because of the negative assumptions one can make and the consequent breaking of SC rules in relation to scholars. Please contact the moderating team if you are unhappy with this decision.]

Just make sure that when you do get married you don't take too much advice from SC beforehand.....remember most of them aren't married, or even close to it :shaytan:...........yet they know everything about marriage.

@ LebPrincess and Crimson I think it's the opposite. It's a waste of youth to not get married young. Loneliness and lack of companionship, only causes unproductive things/thoughts occupy your mind and actions. Especially today, with all the horrible stuff that is at our disposal and the ease at which we can access these things, being unmarried whilst confined to Islamic moral limitations, causes a disease. (I am talking about the general public; not people who have reached high levels of faith and lofty characteristics. I know Imam Khomeini got married at an old age, and I know Shahida Bint al-Hoda was deprived of marriage her whole life... But most of us could not dream of being at their level, so for us, not being married causes a disease; we are dependant upon marriage.) A lot of people cite the "freedom" of unmarried life, to argue for its benefits. But a "freedom" to do whatever you want, is not freedom at all. Because it makes you much more likely to become a slave of your nafs. (It is this same twisted, one-dimension idea of freedom, that causes people to dismiss Islamic government as dictatorial.) Such a freedom, conflicts with one's progress as an individual. It doesn't cause one to be productive; it causes him/her to occupy themself with frivolity. There is a reason why Islam places such a heavy emphasis on marriage.

I don't want to get married yet, but none of those reasons apply to me. The only reason I don't want to get married yet is because I'm way too young- I'm 16. But in a few years, I'd be happy to get married. If I found the right person, then I wouldn't mind cleaning up after them or putting up with their annoying habits, because I know I can be annoying and messy too. Why pick at other peoples faults when you know you're not perfect yourself? Imam Ali (as) said, you should hate in yourself what you hate in others. And isn't referring to someone as "the black guy" a bit rude?

Why do pictures of Khomeini and Khamenei have to be everywhere? What is the purpose exactly?

i feel protected, and it looks nice too :D

Sisters, What is your favourite thing about wearing hijaab? I mean, apart from knowing that you are doing a good thing. Mine is when random hijaabi women give salaam to you in the street (it's like being in a secret club). But also knowing how proud my dad is of me.

Yes because in marriage just about every decision made effects your spouse and your children, and anyone who says this isn't so is fooling his/her self.

She need a male patient who can be her husband

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I just don't seem to be able to find a man worthy of me... :rolleyes: But seriously, there is a chronic shortage of good matches out there and people seem to have weird definitions of 'good match'. I was watching a programme yesterday about muslims trying to find a spouse in britain. It was following one woman, in her early 30's, a doctor by profession, British Pakistani woman who refused to even consider non-doctors. I mean if that isn't ridiculous, then I don't know what is.

And some ppl get married with only $500 and end up starving out on the street until a hobo rapes them to death....Allah says dont throw yourselves in risky situations

I find it amazing that the shias who bleat on the most about unity between muslims of different sects, are often the ones to show the worst akhlaq to their own shia brothers and sisters. :dry:

What?? Haydar Husayn and Çåá ÇáÈíÊ agree on something? :mellow: This is one of those clear signs of Qiyamah. Allahu Akbar. Khamenei Rahbar! *runs*

It's impossible to verify the culprits behind explosions such as this. The military is fighting itself, there's thousands of mercenaries in the country, there are terrorists, and there's no independent press or independent investigation. All we have is a state-run media which will jump on any opportunity to demonize the opposition. I don't like it when any civilian dies in any war, but at least I don't turn a blind eye. That's not what the revolution is about, but in a state of chaos like now, these things inevitably happen. If Sunnis are killed in Lebanon or Ira, I don't demonize Hezbollah or Iran because that is a simple-minded thing to do. These Ba`thists would love to ignore the massacres occurring in Homs at this very moment, which has been under siege for a week. Even if a million die, there will be people on this forum either denying it happened or laughing at the merciless killing.

Thoughts: tt-tt-ta-ta-tandoori nights tanddddoori nights! :wub:

How does he know what direction to face?

no i dont loll what is it ? i thought as in waste man rubbish man waste-rubbish get the same loll

Masha'Allah indeed, RT has kind of taken the Press TV gap on Sky, so in a way taking Press TV off Sky, didn't really help

She really knew her stuff there didn't she. Mashallah to her. She could have kept going for an hour or so if required LOL and continue to expose the opposition. Of all the valid things she did point out, the most significant piece of info she unveiled was of a video of a rebel Free Syrian Army leader having direct contacts with an Israeli. If that doesn't show what's going on in Syria, then I really don't know what else there is to say.

Some of the posts show youthful arrogance, immaturity and should not even consider marriage with the kind of attitudes shown. Get married when you want and when you can. However take heed of some of the advice given. The example of Bjacksons loneliness occurs from isolation. The perfect example would be, a group of five friends, one by one they will pair off at different times. The last one "you guys" who want to explore life, will become isolated as your pals spend their busy lives with their partners. If you spend your youth constructively and end up marrying at 30 it may work out. But we all know nothing is guaranteed in life. It is quite funny that non muslims tend to, not shy away of being in relationships and many in long term, yet muslims run from it. p.s if anyone of you diaper kids try a "look at my angry come back post, I will eat you alive." :)

^^ Me: *ring ring* Hi I just wanted to inform I can't get in today.. :) Thanx..! Thoughts: since ive given myself a day off.. I might actually have a shower today.. The ice can melt & clean the gutters... B)

Marriage definitely requires some serious amount of time, responsibility, and commitment, anything short of these three it can lead to disaster. Our young brothers and sisters have some decent years ahead of them before walking into marriage.

What a life :wub:

How about the name of Allah at the top of the site, or does He to now come after the 'ulemeh'?

Why you want to play the role of a hypocrite here? You support everyone who says anything against Iran, but now you don't support this guy? Because, now he demands the rights of Shias? Or you support him in his position against Iran and that is why you posted his video clip? Anyhow, he is right about Shias of Gulf states to fight for their rights and should slap you Takfiri Wahabis hard! Because, you people do not know anything but the language of force, just like Hizbullah, Sadrists, and Houthis who are fighting for their rights... no one will ever give the oppressed people any right until they take it themselves.

Wasting your youth? So i guess all our nabuwat saws and imams a.s. wasted their life away by pushing for young marriage. I guess all the thawab youll get in marriage is not important as hanging out, kickin etc doing whatever. So missing out on the thawab is a good thing and completing the other half of your iman isnt important either. I guess hell is where the youth choose to enjoy their paradise while the ones who wasted their youth are chilin in jannah in gardens underneath which rivers flow. I think ill stick to wasting my youth before i sit around missing out on thawab an completing my faith oh that and being sexually frustrated living in shame as i can never keep my gaze down because im too busy looking around desperately at females. For women so stuck on all this "love" they sure dont say smart things.

(salam) Bro, there's no need to get personal here and reveal what others do. You shouldn't be making such statements in public anyway. Stick to the topic.

Gotta love US and Canada. I really appreciate these places after seeing such state of affairs in Europe. But IMHO, we cant honestly blame EDL or any other rightist party in Europe. Its their land after all and their intolerance is an awfully small price to pay for all the rights and privileges available for the immigrants.... no wonder people escape their countries in containers, ships, trucks etc to get to West. The question that Muslims should ask is would we allow people of other faith from far off lands to live according to their customs and traditions in our countries? Hell we are awfully intolerant of our own Muslims let alone others. The treatment of Afghans in Iran or South Asians in ME are far far far far far far far far far far worse than the worst case in Europe. Muslims are indeed intolerant community. EDL guy is right.

salam the best part of wearing the hijab is the feeling of happiness you have. you feel blessed and even lucky to be able to be performing such a deed! my hijab is my life it gives me individuality! i love that my hijab make me someone different, to men i am not looked at just like every other girl because i am covered i automatically get more respect! its so beautiful. I LOVE IT <3. i wear the chador and me living in Australia its not the easiest of things todo but wallah its the best thing in my life! so many times i would be at the shopping centre and some stare at me but sometimes i would be walking past another girl wearing very revealing clothing and as soon as she sees me wallah she looks down at the cloths and immediately tries to cover herself put up i guess she does this because people realise that even though i may look "wierd" i am covered and i am the special one not the girl with shorts but rather me in hijab...... hijab gives you a sense of pride! i love when a muslim brother is talking about hijab and he says that the women are the flag bearers of islam it makes me so happy and proud !