Leaderboard

So why doesn't his mum find out more about this lady and if she's not married and willing, then what's wrong? If he still pines, he needs therapy known in Urdu as a 'thapar'.

It makes sense because training to be a doctor is a very time consuming and exhausting process, and so is being a doctor. It's not really a lifestyle that is well-suited to being an ideal Muslim wife.

How many of you are achieving your dreams and goals right this moment? How many of you even have solid goals that you want to achieve? And I'm not saying this because it's close to New Years...I bring it up because today I found a list that I wrote when I was around 13 years old. I was so astonished, because I realized that I have accomplished more half of the things on that list already. I had written all sorts of goals, fantasies, dreams whatever you want to call them and totally forgotten about it. But somehow I managed to move in the path of what I wanted 9 years ago. Subhanallah it's amazing! If you have the right amount of passion you can achieve anything with Allah's help of course....you must be full of iman, enthused and have passion that moves mountains despite obstacles in life...then only you can turn fantasy in reality ..

Oh dear. . .

I have come across a video on youtube, im pretty sure, this is where they get their training from !!! This was based in Qatar with Saudi & US officials, meanwhile its this type of training that has been carried out in Turkey, in hopes of overthrowing Bashar al Assad ! Enjoy gang,

Anonymous and pepsi, you do realize how much of a fool you two are portraying yourselves as right? He's being straight honest, and wants to understand your side of the story. Anonymous, please do give examples, and don't dodge his earnest request. And pepsi, clearly you just don't want to give him the benefit of the doubt do you? He's being really sincere by asking those who literally hate him to present their case to him. Subhanallah, the akhlaaq on this forum are truly amazing... meh who am I to say that anyway? I'm on the same boat :rolleyes:

What is the problem with edit function? It doesn't work most of the time. I don't think it's just me?

My new fb profile pic. :lol:

Yet the same Muslim husbands* would like them to visit a female doctor due to concerns of hijab and contact with the non-mahram. *and the ideal muminat themselves

Thoughts: How is it that people who to bed later than me, wake up waaaay earlier than me?! :mad:

we have vilayat in our heart,that makes namaz more wajib on us...... :) Shia shud be MOST punctual in fard namaz.

At least we have wilayat in our hearts when we pray.

(bismillah) (salam) :cry: Be Haqqe Muhammad wa Ale Muhammad, may Allah SWT give her health and return to her family.

Is it really that hard to love your fellow shi'a?

I find abaya works.....and if anyone has a problem with it -in the west- they can talk to my husband about it :)

kim STAY away from this website, it's an unhealthy addiction that has pretty much screwed my revision timetable for the christmas holidays, despite being able to do some practise papers then and there and check the mark scheme etc etc Straight to the point yeah, UNREGISTER. I'm sure as hell thinking about it.

(wasalam) Firstly, I do agree. Shiachat is a great place to be, with some wonderful posters and many things to learn. Secondly, I am sad that you view your marriage this way and I do agree that this can be a major problem with meeting people over the internet, as it is difficult to really gauge their sincerity and even their faith. However, you said she is not a bad person at all, and I think in that statements lies a lot of hope for you two. Allah tests his most beloved servants in many ways and this may be an exercise in your patience and akhlaq. My advice to you is to try even harder with her; To always overlook any of her shortcomings and focus on her positives. Any moment you feel dissatisfied, remember how fortunate you are to be blessed with a marriage, and that marriage is a sacred flower in Islam that should be preserved and not destroyed. Remember, divorce is the most despised of Halal acts. Try to rekindle any spark that may have existed between you two. Perhaps go on a short holiday or take a trip somewhere. Even if not that, just always be sweet and kind. Perhaps even try a compliment or some flowers for a change :) I wish you all the best my friend and Insha'Allah it all works well for you! Perhaps you may dislike something and it is good for you, you do not know Allah knows best. May I just add, that if you make an increased effort and be even better with her, you may also make her realise her shortcomings and she will make a concerted effort to change herself as well.

[Edited]

Thoughts: If I go to war with Abu Bakr I am a disbeliever. If I go to war with Umar I am a disbeliever. If I go to war with Uthman I am a disbeliever. If I go to war with Ali, may God be pleased with me.

It's a telltale sign that you quote from the hadith repertoire of the most sophisticated troll of SC.

By western women, I assume you mean Muslim women who have been raised in a western society? To be completely honest, women who are interested in the more trivial things in life are those women from "back home". That's from my experience. I avoid mosques that are cultural around here because when I go to listen to a lecture, all I will end up hearing is gheeba and nonsense. Then when the maqtal starts they all of the sudden start crying. I can gurantee that they have no idea they're crying. Our societies "back home" treats women as if they will be nothing more than housewives. The maturing girls then believe that all they need to know in order to succeed in life is how to cook and clean. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with being a housewife, but when that woman has kids, don't you think she'll have trouble trying to raise them? "it takes a village to raise a child" that saying stands strong. It's very hard to raise a child and if we are speaking about a Muslim family, naturally the man will be out working. Where does that leave the woman? I see the product of such women everyday right here in the west and I saw it when I visited the east. Any Muslim woman should strive to be both a great wife/mother and an intellectual.

It is the overall attitude, mindset or approach with which we deal with a particular problem, along with all the assumptions and nuances that our advice carries that define the outcome of the remedial process. I mean, why on earth would you specifically come up with ahadith to solve a problem which doesn't need ahadith for its solution, as it is self-evident? To make some use of Shakespearean pageantry (or rather a layman imitation of it), if marriage counselling rested on ahadith, Muslim faqihs would be making millions. No sir, not in the way you put it. What? Do you have a hadith to back up your claim? :rolleyes:

This woman's jealousy is specific to a woman feeling jealous of other wives that the husband may take or includes all women he may be casually interacting with? If it's the latter i.e. she feels jealous if he is looking around and talking to non-mahram females without any need and wants the husband to stop this behaviour then is she not doing good? Refraining husband from something bad? Because as you know there are enough ahadith that talk about not getting into contact with non-mahram at all, forget maintaining relations (what passes off as "friendship") and while there may be no mention of internet, doesn't mean people can act whichever way they want and not apply real life admonitions to virtual life. In fact, internet can do and has caused far more damage than the real world. Like there was this one guy here who mentioned his wife lured by someone on SC, she forced divorce, the SC guy doesnt give her a look after her divorce and she was begging the ex-husband to take her back. Also there is a hadith that says woman's jealousy is out of excessive love for husband, what about that?

Yeah especially if their advice contradicts other advice, like responsibility and being a level headed human who makes sound decisions !!! Whats the use of being married and having kids if you are going to be divorced 2 yrs later, or end up living under a cardboard box, because when you were 14, you wanted to buy an xbox, instead of food and nappies pretty dull if you ask me !

This is freaky, as i just met a girl at the gym yesterday, who actually ended up being a doctor. She was Indian, but she was young, very pretty, very smart ! I felt sorry for her, because like this topic here, alot of guys are going to freak out ! Maybe she doesnt like nor want the nerdy type of husband, who is a doctor too !!! maybe she WANTS a bus driver for a husband ? Personally, if she wanted to work full time, lol i would stay at home and look after the kids, why the hell not ? lol who in their right mind would go to work, if you can sit at home and spend time with your kids !!!! At least she would be helping people in the world, what would you be doing ? fixing computers ? driving buses ? punching in numbers on a calculator ? If anything there should be MORE female doctors !!! Dont worry about them sis, i think your just fine !!!! Like many members are saying, its an insecurity thing, just find someone who is a MAN, not a boy ! Salam

...Say: Bring your proof if you are truthful. [2:111] It seems like Haydar is the one bringing proofs, whilst you are arguing with emotions. He is not doing anything wrong for you to feel the need to do Nahi anil munkar, and if you truly believe that he is making something up, then bring your proof if you are truthful, just like Allah (swt) says in the Qur'an. (wasalam)

I know if i reply to you it will run forever and it feels pointless, quite frankly, because nothing is new so far and the effort it might take to get to some clear water doesnt any where near seem worth it. Its ok to disagree.

Exactly. And I am amused at the suggestion of churning out ahadith, as if it would make the problem go away. To the opening poster: Be gentle, understanding, empathetic and caring for it may open a better communication channel between you two than the one currently in place. It may help you get cues as to what is causing her to behave in a not-so-rational manner. And one thing that you shouldn't have done is to remove her from your facebook. Bad idea. Really bad.

You call that religious?

Says who ?? What makes you think she aint ideal ???? Makes sense relgious men just want to lock down the woman.....

I think any guy who turns a girl down for simply studying medicine is insecure. I am sure you deserve better than that.

There could be something deeper rooted and psychological causing your wife to be this insecure. It is not always a cut and dry case of "just quit being jealous" and it could stem as far back as childhood.

Says who? Seems like grand assumption to make.

Salams Just went through this Tsunami of fresh ideas..... so would like to share my thoughts. Kindly don't turn the thread into a debate....rather, feel free to contact us directly or create a separate thread. The purpose of responding is to ensure that your ideas are atleast not being ignored. By providing the platform of Thinker's Discourse, I think we have given opportunity to our members to invite other folks to our forum for the purpose of an intellectual and a strictly moderated discussion. So yes, the idea is good. But we expect initiatives from all members ...... For e.g, if you can get a team from another forum to participate in a formal debate, feel free to contact us. We can assist you by promoting it with tools such as announcements and by ensuring that the agreed upon rules are respected. We used to have that in the past. But if memory serves me right, we chose to have one room only because it was easy to monitor and the idea was to encourage everyone to stick to meaningful discussions. Sure, that doesn't occur all the time and people do like having casual discussions but I've noticed that when members introduce serious discussions, they do receive positive response. We also don't have enough members to be considering dividing the hardly active room into a house of 3. Thats too many options for each post. Not even sure if we can code them.... It ends up serving those who are too biased, too teenage and too much of attention seekers....... doesn't really help acknowledge the efforts of members who genuinely contribute to the forum..... That sounds like a complaint. Please report or contact team members in private. Will look into this..... I am sure we have an option in the control panel. If so, i'll update accordingly. Thx That'll exert too much of pressure/work load on admins/mods. Suspending serial-offenders for a few months/days/hours means we are likely to confront the same members/issues again. Having a database, however, of banned ips/usernames helps us deal with idiots, spammers, extremely difficult members or the ones who have exhausted their warn logs and there seems to be little hope that they will ever consider the concerns of staff. As for the humiliation stamp of "BANNED", I think it is beneficial because we'd like to reveal true worth of that member to the newcomers or guests, in case they are inspired by a few of their posts but are unaware of the 'hidden truth'. I'd also like to ensure our senior members (be them well respected, less popular or even controversial to an extent) on the forum that we have taken certain measures to ensure that this power of 'banning members' is not abused. There are guidelines for our team to refer to, with specific case studies, to explain when a ban is necessary and when it can be avoided. Finally, all members have the right to complain. So feel free to contact us if you feel that you have been treated unfairly. Regards I

She probably doesn't stay up till 4am....

Don't you hate when you lose your favorite hijab pin? You know the pin that comes from the same place as every other pin, but for some reason it always stays more beautiful and stronger than the rest? And then suddenly that pin is gone and no where to be found :cry:

The people taken to Ghayba are 1. Nabi Idris 2. Nabi Illyas 3. Nabi Khaidhr, was a prophet according to some narrations 4. Nabi Isa 5. Imam Mahdi

Sallam Alykum, How cool is it your going to see the lecture :) but someone should record it and upload the video so the rest of us can benefit from the lectures too!

How can anyone not like this guy :wub:

We dont quite know what his intention are. Lets hope whatever he says is out of sincerity.

Till the time one of the marja' issues a fatwa like Imam Ali (as) issued against Kharjis and then everybody will have a field day. I'll squish one before every meal... and I eat 6 small meals a day ;)

lol @ 25 000 troops Numbers are not relevant ! 30 000 Israeli troops , best technology/weapons inventry , couldnt hold on to 3 villages in Lebanon... 1 000 000 troops for saddam, ended up bieng 1 000 000 cats, couldnt beat a bunch of kids in Iran with RPGs and AK47s, meanwhile had the best weapons front both the WEST and the EAST It has saudi fingerprints all over it, does Yemen and Houthis ring any bells ? they got their backsides handed to them !!! They will fail, and will only succeed in doing what they do best, killing innocent civilians, trying to subdue the population, rather then defeat the enemy on the field !!!!

Ah, I'm on my way to reaching my goals and InshAllah I will. Sadly, not all goals are that easy for us to grasp.. :(

No worries bro. We all make mistakes.

Lol try writing an 15000 word essay for your ipr ( interim progress report) in 3 days lol while everyone else started a month ago. Ahhhh time managment kills me lool

Salam! I'm new. I'm not sure where to put this. :) I was wondering about the hijab. In your opinion and expertise. What do you think the Hijab means? What does it represent? And how is it define to you. This just opinion. I'm just curious since I recently convert to Islam and now am thinking about wearing the hijab. :wub:

The existence of: Prophet Adam is very disputed, isn't some people on SC came from monkeys? Noah's flood - yeah right Qiamat - the judgement day - hahahaha Prophet Muhammad - huh, my leader Yazeed has already said in his golden words when he said "there was no wahih neither the angels, Banu Hashim just played the game to takeover the kingship of the Arabs" Imams after Prophet - yeah Muawiah and Umar and Marwan are my imams... And no they are not 12, they are 131 down to Shah Abdullah of Saudi Arabia and so on... (I win, you have 12 imams, I have 10 times more) - you losers... Imam Mahdi - isn't the Raceb Tayaib the PM of turkey is the current Imam Mahdi? See he said a few strong words against Israel. Zionists are already drowned in sea. If you are luny tunes Sunni, everything that Ibless inspired to you through Umer is Islam and everything else which was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) through wahih is "disputed". So why bother listen to "wikipedia" but again what is fun in logging in SC and not have a kick at the gooflanterns of wiki and other wiki kindreds.

Why are people so fixated on being biologically ready, and disregard absolutely every single aspect in life and demand ? Yeah sure if we lived in a tent, didnt have to work, survived off my own means, yeah i would get married at 14 but things change over time ! It shouldnt be like that, sure i agree, but unfortunately it is ! So get with the programme !!! lol Salams