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Salam I thought this was the sisters' section only and only women would read this

Subconsciously letting culture take over is one thing, interpreting islam within the modern context is another, maybe we failed to interpret and implement properly in the first place so it isnt all that bad after all.

I think it's rather hypocritical and a little ironic (perhaps even amusing) when Sunni Muslims preach to Shias about portraying a 'bad image' during Muharram due to Matam. Last I checked, the global negative perception of Muslims was caused by those that spread the message of Islam via aggression and violence, and the ones that have skewed the teachings of the Prophet (pbuh) to justify their extremist practices; specifically referring to the Salafi/Wahabi/Saudi brand of Islam that - due to its immense funding from third parties such as Britian and the CIA (for various political reasons)- is the fastest growing 'brand' of the religion, and generally what most reverts are initially introduced to.

I don't have the energies to read oh-yet-another thread full of bigotry against homosexuals and the hateful treatment they get for being such. Suffice it to say that your post should have been the ending post of this thread. Succinctly said. +1

:lol: What do you expect us to do? Like you folks wear tight clothes and walk around showing off to aunties and cousins expecting them to praise the hell out of your beautiful and very very expensive dress? I crack when women compliment each other on their make ups. LOL You hide your real face under layers of stuff and here is Salma telling Sarah. "Oh you are looking sooo pretty tonight". You couldn't make it up lol. As for dance, there is no fun if you have no female to dance with. I don't understand why you folks even bother working so hard on yourself in segregated marriages. We have important matters in the world to sort out. We are busy discussing foreign policy, business mergers, cricket matches, latest model cars and talk about driving them, and then there are always a few items who peeks into the men area. SO MUCH FUN.

salam, waisey tu Moharram har saal hi ata hai aur hum sab aApney pasandeeda Zakir ko sunney kay liyie be-chain rehtey hain. koun kahan padh raha hai? kitna umda padh raha hai? kis kis kay ghar ja raha hai? Alim hai kay sirf khatabat hai? Mujtahid hai kay Ayatullah hai? in sab baton per khoob tabserey rehtey hain. es saal kuch mukhtalif hona chahiyie. kiyoun na aisa ho kay hum mien sey har ferd har majlis kay baad, aik wo baat share karey jo us kay dil mien utter gaai ho. samajh mien aAgaai ho. ya phir agar kisi baat per ekhtelaf hai tu wo share kiya jaai. zehn mien koi sawal be-daar hova ho tu wo us per behes ki jaai. koi naai riwayat sunni ho tu us per sawal kiya jaai. filhaal Moharram shoroo nahi hova hai es liyie hamara pehla sawal majlis kay akhri hissey key mutaAlliq hai. yani ye majlis kay baad "hissa ya tabarruk" kiyoun ban-ta jata hai? baaz majalis kay baad tu etnay umda khaney ka entezaam hota hai kay lagta hai koi party waghaira ho rahi hai. kiya aAp es say muttafiq hain ya es key khilaaf hain? kiya waqaai aisi dawat kay baghair majlis adhori reh jaaai gee ya sawab kum milay ga? ws

(CNN) -- The popular microblogging Web site Twitter was hacked overnight, leaving the millions who use the site tweetless. Those who tried to access Twitter were redirected to a site that had a green flag and proclaimed "This site has been hacked by Iranian Cyber Army." The Web site was down for nearly an hour. Representatives from Twitter could not be immediately reached for comment, but the company spoke about the issue on its official Twitter page. "Twitter's DNS records were temporarily compromised but have now been fixed. We will update with more information soon," the company posted at about 2:30 a.m. ET Friday. It was unclear who the group Iranian Cyber Army was and if it is connected to Iran. However, Twitter has had an interesting relationship with Iran. Earlier this summer when Iran's disputed presidential election spiraled into bloody protests, the opposition took to social networking and used Twitter to inform the world. Protesters beamed images from the violent protests at a time when the mainstream media outlets had a hard time getting access to Iran. Twitter became so fundamental in spreading news of the protests that followed that the U.S. State Department asked the company to delay a planned shutdown for maintenance. :lol: Classy. Any idea who these guys are, and how on earth they pulled this off? Is Twitter really that lax on security? They also hacked mowjcamp.com (pro-green site), so I'm tempted to think this isn't just some goofy prank... Unless it's actually some greenies attempting to frame conservatives? There are some interesting responses on this website: http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1002662

Salam What did I say that was so terrible? :S When you insult somebody, please specify what makes you say those things And no, why should I get over myself? I like things exactly as they are

Salam I'm very confident about myself, and I don't compare myself to other women. Why? Because I know who I am - that I'm unique. I see how majority of women I bump in to are extremely boring (sorry but that's my opinion...lol) and have no special personality at all. They think they do but they don't. The bimbos, sarcasmos, feminists, wannabe hippies, the ghetto chicks, tough chicks, the obedient weaklings, the quiet reading horse...what's so special about any of that? Every woman you meet applies to onw of the mentioned personality types...I'm not arrogant but I don't fall into any of them...so I feel like I'm unique. Actually, everyone who meets me, especially men, tell me I'm like no one they've ever encountered - alhamdulellah. That was the internal bit. There's obviously a physical bit too but I haven't mentioned it so much because I've come to learn that beauty for men is NOT what's on the outside only - it's just a small part of it (if it's serious relationships we're talking about here). I've noticed that it's really just stupid (yes, literally dumb/stupid = low IQ) men who find plastic attractive, or very young boys/underdevelopped men. Sorry but I don't envy women who have those type of men in their fan base LOL. But men aside, I don't aspire to look like models and actresses. I ahve a very different FIXED idea of what a woman should look like: she should have curves. Not talking fat here, just some meat on the bones...women are supposed to have breasts, thighs, hips and butts...those curves are what seperates us from the male body...so I don't at all understand why women these days are so busy with hiding their womanhood...trying to get slim hips, slim thighs. There's a reason why most women can't naturally achieve that kind of tooth pick body: we're not supposed to be that way! I'm personally very content and proud of my physical appearance...I'm proud to be FEMININE and the curves that I'm supposed to have. I don't care that I can't squeeze my butt into a size 2...the day I can, I'd know that I need to eat an extra burger. I care about fashion, I care about make-up, I care about grooming...and take ½ hour every morning to put myself together. It's important to me to keep up my appearances and look my best - but because it makes me feel good. Like I'm doing what's naturally in me...as a woman. And yes, it also feels good to know that a man is enjoying it too. I'd never not make myself attractive for my husband. And I wouldn't get a husband who finds plastic attractive...so I'd probably not go under the knife without a very good reason for it.

Salam It's not the parents' job to support their married children, and it's not fair to put that financial burden on them. How selfish can you be, seriously. Why should parents take over the man's obligated task of supporting his own family? Instead of plotting how you can mooch off your parents, how about using your head and finding a husband who can take care of you instead of giving your parents yet another person they need to pay for? Sorry but you pissed me off with this comment...and it has no basis in Islam whatsoever I'm a realistic person...I see bills that need paying, kids that need food and we all need to drink...it'd be stupid to totally disreagrd the needs of life just so one can come of as a morally correct person in a naïve society's eye. There's nothing wrong with your morals just because you value financial stability. And just because you value financial stability doesn't mean you're compromising on your faith or the level of iman you require in your significant other. And oh yeah, yes, lack of education is often the main reason as to why people are poor, become poor or stay poor...so it's an oxymoron to say you can accept poverty but not lack of education. There's a difference between being intelligent and being educated...intelligence is more an ingrown ability...but getting the education if what stimulates this ability

Salam Religion, whichever one it is, is dynamic and definitely changes and gets impacted by the societies we live in. It'd be naïve to expect religion to remain a solid substance which no outside-coming element can impact. Islam is supposed to be applicable to anybody anywhere at any time...it cannot have that function if the religion is stuck in year 600.

Salam I think there's often a big misconception about seemingly pious Muslims changing "for the worse": that they make this change because they want to enjoy life. I definitely don't think this applies to all, or even majority of Muslims who change. I think when people have been monitored so intensively that they couldn't even breathe then it comes kind of natural to test boundaries when they can finally breathe again. From what I've seen, people who've been sheltered so much that they miss even halal parts of life then their development is way behind. Which may explain why they can't predict the consequences of bad company, bad hang-out places etc.

over here in India its on Monday - 28th. i dont knw where u reside ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29SnjJpACR0&feature=related

(salam) Yar Ap loag Saba Ko Tang Na Kiya Karan Please,Wasa Bhe Ya Ap Logon Sa Alag Ho Rahy Han (jaan choar rahy han :blush: ) Jab Tak Yahan Han,Inhain Bharpoor Pyar Or Izzat Sa Nawaza Jaye, . Acha Ab Serious,Apki Raye Bilkul Theak Ha,Kam Sa Kam Mujh Sa Jitna Ho Saka Karbala Ka Hawalay Sa Post Karon Ga,Bshart e Kay,Shay'r Nazar Sa Guzartay Rahayn,Agar Na Mila Us Word Sa To Majboran Koi Dosra Post Kar Dan Gay,Acha Ab Agla Shay'r Kahiya Ap . (wasalam)

http://www.al-islam.org/maqtal/13.htm There are ahadith on mourning and making people mourn the tragedy. To the extent, that even if one is unable to cry, he should at least try to exhibit some kind of emotion.. Imam al-Baqir said in connection with the man who is too far away to make the pilgrimage: "Then let him mourn and weep for al-Husayn. Let him order those in his house to weep for him. Let him celebrate the tragedy in his house by showing anguish for him. Let people meet together to weep in their houses for al-Husayn. Let them console each other for what befell al-Husayn ibn 'Ali." Malik al-Juhm asked him, 'How should they console each other?' He answered: "Let them say: May god increase our rewards as a result of what has befallen us through al-Husayns sufferings. May God make both you and us men who seek vengeance for him together with His great saint (wali), the Imam, the Mahdi from the family of Muhammad." Ibn Qawlawayh, op cit, 174-5. A similar tradition is given by al Tusi in Misbah al Mutahajjid with a chain of authorities (isnad) going back to Imam Muhammad al Baqir. Imam al-Rida (a) said: Whoever remembers our sufferings and weeps for the crimes which have been committed against us, will be within our rank on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever remembers our suffering and weeps and makes others weep, his eyes will not weep on the Day when many eyes will weep. Whoever attends gatherings where our situation is kept alive, his heart will not die on the day when many hearts will die. Imam as-Sadiq (‘a) says: “Whoever cries [over our tragedies] even without shedding tears will be in Paradise.” as-Saduq, Amali, p. 86, majlis 29. I'd really be cautious before labeling anything as bid'a.

(salam) Just as you believe Paul received revelations, we believe Muhammed (pbuh) received revelations. Jesus (as) came to confirm the Torah, but he did not need to know Moses (as) to do so. Both Christianity and Islam have the concept of divine inspiration so I don't see the problem. What is your source that they were written at 57 CE? Many modern Biblical scholars agree that this narrative was written after the destruction of the Second Temple, because of references to the Bar Kokhba revolt. You do realize that the resurrection of Jesus (as) was not mentioned at the end of Mark - the last bit of Mark is a known interpolation not found in the oldest manuscripts of the text. The text traditionally ends at 16:9 , and later manuscripts found had different endings after this point. We do recognize that a crucifixion took place, but we believe that it was the plan of the Romans and Jews to crucify Jesus (as), but instead God saved Jesus (as) and made it appear so that he was crucified. Similar to how God saved Moses (as) from the Pharaoh and saved Noah (as) from the flood. Jesus (as) himself, whom you believe to be God, prayed to God that he would not be crucified, but the biblical narrative sees God to have ignored this prayer. Papias, another Greek, was a second century scholar writing around one hundred years after the alleged crucifixion. What we know today about the text and its manuscripts supersedes what he knew. Papias' authority on the legitimization of Mark was based entirely on John the Presbyter - to say that Papias agreed with the authenticity of the text is not proving that the text was written by Mark. We all know the traditional Christian story of how the Gospels came about, but contemporary biblical scholars have disagreed with the traditional story for many years now. ^^ The theory that they were written in Aramaic and Hebrew first, and then translated into Greek is one yet to be proven. The oldest manuscripts are in Greek, and the Gospel was written clearly to a gentile audience: Jewish traditions are explained, Aramaic phrases were expanded upon, clearly for the benefit of gentiles, etc. Dr. Ehrman writes about this and the manuscripts in great detail. Look him up. Care to tell me about this source, brother? :) Because it disagrees with some established facts. Yes, the Gospel was written somewhere between 90 and 100 CE - approximately 60-70 years after the alleged crucifixion. The timing of it should at least raise an eyebrow. The Gospel of John was mainly written to answer those who believed Jesus was the Word in spirit and not in flesh (hence the introduction), as well as to propagate the religion to the gentiles. It was a non-synoptic Gospel and covered issues of Jesus' Godhood as Logos, which is not talked about in the synoptic books. It was also an answer to the Gospel of Thomas, as Thomas believed that Jesus (as) did not physically rise from the grave. The authorship again is not as clear s you try to make it. Like the others it was written anonymously, many years after the fact. Even the title "according to John" is contested as some theorized that these titles were added in the first century (references available upon request). To quote from Wikipedia: "Bart Ehrman argues that there are differences in the composition of the Greek within the Gospel, such as breaks and inconsistencies in sequence, repetitions in the discourse, as well as passages that clearly do not belong to their context, and these suggest redaction" (Ehrman 2004, p. 164–5) An interesting thing to note is that John also seems to be a "correction" of the previous Gospels, tying up loose ends. I've already mentioned its emphasis on Logos and Godhood, but it also mentions that the witnesses of the crucifixion "close by" (John 19:35), whereas in earlier Gospels they were further away (Mark 15:40). The article is an incoherent joke. The early church fathers of the second century are not sound sources concerning the uniformity of the manuscripts, as they did not have access to the thousands of manuscripts and the carbon dating technology we have access to today. It is very well known and very well documented by contemporary Christian and agnostic biblical scholars that no two manuscripts of the Gospels are identical. Do you have a Bible with commentary? Many commentaries will point out a certain verse and say "other manuscripts say __". That's probably the quickest and easiest way to prove that interpolations have been made. The last verses of Mark, as I mentioned, do not exist in the oldest manuscripts, and the ones that do have the last verses differ. The story of Jesus and the prostitute is not found in the oldest manuscripts, and is a well known interpolation. When the narrative was added, the prostitute was nameless. Manuscripts dating to the 6th century then identified the prostitute as Mary Magdalene. On top of that, I'm sure you may have heard of "Barabbas" from the Gospels. Well, turns out, his name was Jesus Barabbas according to earlier manuscripts, which translates to "Jesus the son of the Father". The verse about the trinity in 1 John is another well known interpolation that was in the Latin texts, but not the Greek manuscripts. I can go on, but you get the idea. Abraham (as) worshiped one God. Can you prove to me using the Old or New Testament that he worshiped a triune God? It's an Arabic word so I wouldn't expect it to be in the Bible. Arabic and Hebrew however are sister languages, and both fall under the Semitic umbrella. The Hebrew version of Allah, which is Elohim, is found throughout the Bible. The word Allaha, which is Aramaic for God, is found throughout the Peshetta, which is the Aramaic New Testament. The word you're thinking of is Oloh, which also means covenant - it is not spelled nor pronounced the same way as Allah in Hebrew. The islamophobic, racist link you sent me says nothing about Arab countries not allowing Christians to worship God. If this were true, then the Coptic population of Egypt would have been wiped out 1400 years ago. There are 10-15 million of them living in Egypt, a country with an overwhelming Muslim majority. Did you overlook this detail? With peace! :)

birth as a muslim is not that important the important thing is to die as a muslim

"Namaz of Allah is your love to Allah but it is ordered that it should be done with full preparation and "Khasho o Khazu". Even it is ordered that discipline be maintained during the "Namaz". It is planned and organized with prescribed Raka'ats and parts. Allah is greatest of all, His love is greatest of all. My question "Your expression of love with the GREATEST is "Spontaneous or planned"?

congratulations you win the award of the worst comparison of the decade

Asalam Alaikum. Don't lose hope in Allah's mercy. Its endless. And like Brother Basim summarized it, its a sin to think Allah will not forgive your sins. In fact in a lecture once I heard that a lady came to Prophet Mohammad(PBUH) and asked: Is a mother who kills her own baby forgiven? Prophet Mohammad(PBUH) replied: By the God that made me Prophet if a lady kills 70 Prophets and if she repents sincerely, she will be forgiven by Allah. So get started on repentance. Don't hesitate. There may be a lot you want to discuss and whisper to Allah and may not have the words, because they disappear when you need them, but ask for repentance anytime of the day. In Namaz, after Namaz, between Azan and Iqamah, whenever you can. If you listen to music and instead of repeating lyrics of a song recite Astaghfar as much as possible. Be true to yourself and understand that you have committed sins and ask for forgiveness. Let it all out, even if you have to cry and shed tears as many times as you want. When you get ready for all this, I would advise to sit alone in a place where no one can bother you. Take out five minutes everyday. Take one step towards Allah and Allah will take 10 steps towards you. You may realize that as you want to come to the straight path, you will see open doors. You might find a person/friend who is religious. You may get involved in tough situations which may make you say: Why is this happening? I want to be a good person? What is Allah doing with me? These tough times are the times when you need to remember Allah as much as you can. These tough times bring you closer to Allah. Nimrod prepared a fire for 3 months and than threw Prophet Ibrahim(PBUH) in it. He lived without any injuries? Prophet Ibrahim too Ismaeel to sacrifice him, but a sheep came in the middle. These are just a few things in history that are impossible to happen in the farthest of explanations of science. But when you lean on Allah than you are leaning on a unlimited force. If these unbelievable things can happen and many more. Than understand that your sins are no comparison. Start with a mindset that you sins are forgivable and you can become a better person. Than be true to yourself. Realize and strengthen your weaknesses and better your strengths. Don't go big and start fasting extra ten days right away or etc. Start with small and simple virtuous acts. Don't lie, cheat, steal, talk badly about others, and etc. Be respectful to elders, polite to youngsters, have a tender heart, and be forgiving. So yeah the list is endless and I don't want to bore you anymore :wacko: lol. Start out small and than take one small but FIRM step towards Allah. InshAllah you'll be looking like this guy soon :angel: . Take care. Allah Hafiz.

Salaam Alaykum, Listen bro, I don't wanna come off sounding rude but, the truth can be hard sometime; Allah wiped out an entire city because its inhabitants desired their own sexes. Probably because they committed it too, but the Quran stresses desire. That should clarify our whole stance against desiring men instead of women. Even if you don't do anything with them. That brings us to the topic of desiring. That's the thing you need to tackle. Not homosexuality or anything else. It's purely about what your ego wants versus what your REAL ruh from Allah wants. Peace.

No thanks. I'd take the findings of a palm tree more seriously than those of a christian oriented "researcher." She talks like a first year medical student because she disagrees with you.. stop pretending it has anything to do with a clever examination of context clues Sherlock. I am beginning to see why the researcher peddling his christian agenda is so much more appealing :angel:

Its truly inspiring to see that at last there is a muslim organisation tackling homosexulaity. Rather than these kids being forced out of their muslim communities, it is reassuring to know there are people who can help them in a faith sensitive way :) I kinda switch off when people start preaching to me, especially when its not regarding the point of discussion. anyhow, i am familiar with the verse you present 7:80, but just because you've shown me it, it doesnt change my belief on the issue or my interpretation of the verse..

So you have no evidence to back your claims? Having an opinion is fine, but dont go around making wild statements as if they are FACTS, when it turns out you have no evidence to back them up, as that is slander.

I think most of you heard the famous saying, it was said on Mt. Sinai to Prophet Musa(a.s) when he was speaking with Allah(s.w.a). It is recorded in Bihar Anwar and the source is Imam Sadiq(a.s). It is a long ahadith, but there is one part that says 'The good deed is rewarded seven times and the penalty of one sin is perdition'. In other words, if something is haram, it is a sin, and the main consequence of sin is seperation from Allah(s.w.a). And since Allah(s.w.a) is the source of all hope, goodness, strength, hapiness, etc, when you are seperated from the source you in fact have nothing and depression is a physiological response to this but the spiritual response is much worse. So try to avoid any and every sin so that you will have security against seperation. That is the best way I can explain it.

Very reassuring. :lol: I too have read about how a lot of women find difficulty finding pleasure in sex - all the reasons were to do with psychological factors related directly to themselves and nothing to do with men e.g Stress, tiredness, traumatic experiences in the past etc. Not much about 'men suck in bed'. Not at all. The human race most certainly does not need little girls having tantrums on online forums about how the whole world is against them. It would be one thing to say 'We shouldn't be taken for granted for the sacrifices we make during childbirth' and it is something entirely different to relating that sacrifice to 'men aren't good enough'. How does the burden get pushed upon them to do these things and if so, how is that relevant to unequal job opportunities? Some professions are extrememly bias - I'm in the UK and I know that for example a lot less women are employed in the legal profession. But there are plenty of job opportunities elsewhere that aren't so biased. Again, your point about women spending a lot more time getting unpaid for housework - if they didn't make compromises and discussed with their partner about the roles they would be playing in marriage - that's their own stupidity. In fact, I think if women were to set conditions with their partners prior to marriage with regard to how they would run the house etc, perhaps less of them would be whining about how they have to wash the dishes all day. It would also make men realise (to put in your own words) that they cannot walk all over women if they want to marry them. There are plenty of feminists out there and I have absolutely no problem with them. I personally advocate gender equality, but going on about how 'men suck in bed' or how 'oh no we become fat during pregnancy' is nothing short of stupid, not to mention that it is about as weak a way to build a case for gender equality as they come.

Can an admin or mod please clarify if it is against the rules to share an opinion on this forum which is not the Islamic one. (ie my opinion that homosexuality was around before Lot) If it is against the rules, then my bad. Please read my previous post. I dont agree with homosexuality as an act, and i do believe it is a sin. (and if i didnt believe it was a sin, i would still say so, unless it was against the site rules). However, i prefer to take a less harsh attitude to the issue as i believe ultimately this would have better results. Please read my previous post. I think you are (knowingly) being a bit OTT. When i said "has always existed" I didnt think it necessary to then say "since human existence", because i think people here are clever enough to know that is what i mean. I dont believe this is the rules of the forum. I think Sunnis, Chrisitians, Jews...atheists - anyone really is allowed to post on this forum. Correct me if I am wrong.

No one has their "bed time" stories in polychromic detail. People are talking in impersonal terms and discussing matters of legitimate interest. Your "surprise" is symptomatic of the larger problem in our society. Of course, matters related to sexuality are indeed a taboo. You are forgetting the security of online anonymity. Even in 'real' life, you don't talk to "strangers" like this. You talk to your acquaintances and friends. If you insist on being mahrams, you might want to look into the famous Egyptian method of achieving mahramhood [sic] for nahmahram people. What if you need help with these matters before getting married? ??? I am at loss to pull it off from any angle and rebut. So if my girlfriend wants a kiss on 5th Muharram, what should I say? Who told you that you are one? :o

hmm I dno.. all this "equality" defeats the purpose of me being an angry feminist :P

Do you expect to be taken seriously when you make these kind of statements, and then fail to back them up with any evidence?

Yeah, consider yourself a saint for 'smiling' at what could hardly be considered an insult, but think of those momins whose hearts you are crushing when you say such anti-zanjeer things. You first say that somehow it is the 'malang position' that people who don't do zanjeer do not have love for Maula Husain (as). Then you go on and try to question my love for maula. Seriously, you can consider yourself as righteous as you want but such rightousness is not present in your method of speech. And what if I do his taqleed? Wouldn't just that 1 marja's opinion be sufficient? Don't create added controversy for no reason.

Some audacious pontification don't you think? Take all such "studies" with a spoon of salt of the size of Dead Sea. We have seen studies like "What makes women happy" or "Women feel less happiness today than they did five decades ago", etc which mean less than a zilch. It is not possible to quantify these non-quantifiable variables at the first place let alone to generlise them over a spectrum. Percentages are only good for calculable factors like inflation and interest rates, child births, price-to-earning ratios, dividend yield, and yes, divorce rates! As for the rest of your post, well, it was entertaining if it was no more than a humorous attempt at sophistry. It is akin to enshrouding the real problems women face in so many societies and belittling their brave expression, if , in an unfortunate event, you were serious.

First of all, please link me to a study showing women aren't satisfied in bed. (Not that I'm saying you are lying) Though I will say that these studies are usually questions asked to about 300 people and woopie doo all of a sudden 70% of the worlds women aren't happy with their sex lives. Secondly, stop whining about pregnancy. If you aren't prepared to go through the natural process of giving birth - don't. Adopt a kid or piss off. Nobody is forcing you. You speak as though it is the fault of the male population that nature is such that women have pains and become fat when they are pregnant. Don't get pregnant - Lots of other women will. Don't worry, we won't get extinct - the human race doesn't need you Mehvish. Thirdly, I don't know where the hell you are but it's 2009 - you don't have to stay home and do the laundry and cleaning. Unless you are forced to marry someone by your family and face being disowned otherwise, you have the freedom to accept a guy who isn't going to put you through that. Not all men think it's a womans duty to stay home and cook/clean etc. Plenty of couples share the household responsibilities and also have jobs outside their homes. Edit: I can acknowledge that your lives 'are harder than most people imagine' as you put it. But it really pisses me off when women in the west today are still whinging about how they have to cook and clean and then twist the table over by bringing a load of completely irrelevant and most probably unreliable information about the sexual deffieciencies of men. Don't like your marriage? - get out of it. If you didn't have the brains to put conditions and decide on how your lifestyle was going to be with your husband prior to the wedding, then it's your own stupidity to blame. You now have the task of either leaving the marriage and using your brain the second time, or carrying on the way it is till your miserable life ends. Simply put - these conditions are no longer imposed, especially in the west. Yes, you do get many couples who do live like that, but that's either because the woman is happy to do it and won't whinge about it to her little buddies or because they never made a compromise and decided to live in the 1930s lifestyle where the wife is the little maid who is forced to cook, clean and adhere to the every demand of her moron of a husband. At the end of the day, it's your choice, especially if you're in the west.

being financially poor / wealthy in financial tems isnt the issue. a rich financially well settled man can be poor i.e. lacking all islamic and akhlaqi qualities

I see where you are coming from. We do sometimes get put down for all the work we do. I agree but that is why you need to find a man that cares or well at least startes to care after he realizes what you do for him to last. Also what ever a man can do a women can do and sometimes BETTER. Never understimate the job anf ability of women!

troubling

erm.. why wouldn't that be halal?

probably a lot of mutah going on ;)

] qissa khebar ka sunaya to bura maan gae aaena in ko dikhaya to bura maan gae waqt parne pe wo krte rahe haider haider(as) haq ne jab Maula bnaya to bura maan gae hum jo rote hen to bidat ki sanad milti hae qissae ghar sunaya to bura maan gae tazkira un ki sakhawat ka wo krte the buhat fidak jab yad dilaya to bura maan gae dre Zehra(sa) ko madene men jalaya kis ne hum ne jab nam btaya to bura maan gae

(bismillah) (salam) Love lasts throughout the life young lady, and always remember that. I am not talking of love marriage or arranged marriage, but once you settle down and have compatible views, the marriage works out through thick and thin, poverty and disease, and anything destiny throws at you. I have seen this happen, and is still happening. Even if a man has more than one wife, this love is never forsaken either way, provided the husband and wife (or wives) work towards making thier marriage a success so long as they are together. Yes, both have to work at it always to make it a success. There may be the usual fights, arguements, rows, but they make up and carry on. Why, even if you take any animal or bird as pet, you will begin to love them and they will reciprocate your love. Only when and if one of the partners becomes careless of the other, then there is a chance of things falling apart.

Now we're getting somewhere. Some of you are finally waking up.

repeat this mantra

Hahahah! ÇáúÎóÈöíËóÇÊõ áöáúÎóÈöíËöíäó æóÇáúÎóÈöíËõæäó áöáúÎóÈöíËóÇÊö æóÇáØøóíøöÈóÇÊõ áöáØøóíøöÈöíäó æóÇáØøóíøöÈõæäó áöáØøóíøöÈóÇÊö ÃõæáóÆößó ãõÈóÑøóÁõæäó ãöãøóÇ íóÞõæáõæäó áóåõãú ãóÛúÝöÑóÉñ æóÑöÒúÞñ ßóÑöíãñ Vile women are for vile men, and vile men for vile women. Good women are for good men, and good men for good women; such are innocent of that which people say: For them is pardon and a bountiful provision. Suratul Noor 26.

Salam Zahratul_Islam. There's no need for you to talk down to members, make yourself come off like you're such a wise adult who knows best and everyone else just talks [Edited Out]. Since none of us are in this sister's situation there's no way to say what the right or best thing to do is. Maybe your advice is the worst option for her (seeing that her husband has totally tuned out of the marriage, wants what he wants and can't even leave other women alone - how can yo make such man "work together" with you and "explore the much-deeper problems"?). We're all just advicing this sister from our own perspective, in the end she's the only one who can tell which advice is good and which one is bad.

thank you brothers for your great advice and warm thoughts

Masturbation is a Major Sin. It is like doing Zina with oneself. Spirituality, regular Namaz with complete sincere devotion, and Quran recitation is the solution. This is what i understood from "Jihad bin Nafs". You think that you are standing in war field fully equipped with Sword and Arrows of your Character. Whenever Shaitan or your Nafs e Ammara attacks you, just attack the Shaitan and your Nafs e Ammara with your swords and arrows. Recite "Tauz" and seek refuge from Allah against your worst enemy Shaitaan e Laeen. Inshallah it will have positive effect on you and Shaitan will have no control over you whatsoever he (laeen) do. Whenever Shaitan or my Nafs forces me to do something i just imagine myself waving sword on Shaitan and just push him away and raise the slogan Allah o Akbar then sooner or later i become the controller of my deeds with the help of my Allah and the Shaitaan runs away. Try it and do this Jehad. May Allah give you success. Also try to act on this beautiful hadith of prophet (pbuh). Prophet (pbuh) said "Whoever does his deeds with complete devotion in compliance with the orders of Allah and with complete Taqwa and piety for continuous 40 days. Allah makes a spring of wisdom in his heart and his tongue starts telling the words of wisdom to others" May Allah help you in controlling your Nafs and doing Jihad bin Nafs.

I'm sorry brother, but where I live, in a town of kafirs, where no Muslims live, its hard. especially with all this western culture around me. inshallah i will stay on the Straight Path.

if i masterbate like three times a day, how bad is it really? better than having sex with a kafir right?