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In the Name of God بسم الله

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Showing content with the highest reputation on 12/14/2009 in all areas

  1. Dear bro, my heart goes out to you and I applaud your courage at being able to come forward with what you've faced. I can't even begin to imagine the kind of confusion and anguish you must be experiencing right now... You have my deepest support and prayers. As far as homosexuality, it absolutely does exist in that it is as real as the feelings behind it are; and feelings do have a reality, albeit an intangible one that can hardly be proven unless you're the one experiencing them. The question is, why do these feelings exist, and as a result of what? Islam tells us that it is not in the fitrat of a human being to be sexually attracted to the same gender ((although note that homosexual thoughts are not punished, only actions are)), so where do these feelings come from? I think it's impossible to dismiss the correlation between victims of sexual abuse and incidence of homosexuality. A staggering percentage of people who identify themselves as homosexuals have had childhood experiences much like yours- situations where intercourse was forced upon them when they couldn't even understand what it was- all they could understand was the way their body was responding; with pain, but also likely with involuntary pleasure which the body's most animalistic faculties can cause a person to feel simply as a response to sex, regardless of the context. It's that pleasure, over which victims have no more control than the rape itself, that I think in part leaves so many feeling confused, guilty, and disgusted with themselves. If you felt yourself feeling pleasure for even a moment, you might then have wondered to yourself: why would I feel this way, unless being attracted to men and sexually interested in them is a part of who I am? Sorry in advance for being crude here, but- the truth is, perverse men throughout history have tried doing the dirty with animals and found themselves turned on even then- but just because the human body is capable of responding pleasurably in response to intercourse with a goat, does not mean that goats and men are meant to be together- it simply proves that that aspect of us works like a machine and has virtually nothing to do with the spiritual reality of love. Another reason I think sexual abuse can lead to self-identifications of homosexuality is because aligning your lifestyle and your identity with what happened to you is a defense mechanism that gives you a feeling of control. You did not have control over the abuse inflicted on you and it was among the most psychologically damaging things that could happen to you as a child, therefore you grow up to consider putting yourself into situations similar to what you experienced then- male+male intercourse- only this time, you are at last able to add the element of control that you lacked in your vulnerable times as a child. This is a trend sometimes seen in young girls who are sexually abused by their fathers or other male adults... they often grow up to pursue partners much older than themselves, with the same domineering qualities and many of the same tendencies (ie. alcoholism) as the men who abused them. In these cases, too, the girls are looking for belated affirmation by repeating the situations that happened to them, but under circumstances that make them feel like they have a choice, and like the respect these chosen partners give them can make up for the respect their abusers never did... It is unbelievably painful to confront the possibility that the men who abused them did not do it because they loved and cared about them and wanted to show them this- but rather that they were psychologically disturbed individuals who grossly took advantage of them and committed the worst offenses possible against them- so they try to run from that possibility by finding men like their abusers to assure themselves that their abusers could've loved them. The truth will always be, though, that real love would NEVER violate a person's body or heart, and evil people come in all sorts of packages- some of them can be gentle, trustworthy, loving, kind, etc etc.- but that does NOT excuse the wrongness of their actions, and it does not make it okay or less bad for them to commit abuse, and it does not lessen their guilt. A final reason sexual abuse might lead many people to think of themselves as homosexuals is because it's a way for victims to soften the terror of what has actually happened to them. It would be upsetting to the point of total madness to have to accept, as a child, that somebody you loved, and cared about, and trusted, could have done the most wrong and hurtful thing humanly possible to you- and in fact, accepting that you're a homosexual can be easier than accepting that you were sexually abused and seeing it for what it really was. So many victims distort what really happened by convincing themselves that the abuse was their fault, that their abuser was a good person who loved them, or that the abuse wasn't so bad because a part of them was orientated to enjoy it. But see the situation for what it really was... your sexual identity was not independently formed at that tender age; any sexual feelings a child has are purely physiological phenomena that children do not understand or have a use for until the passage of time and maturity. You were not given the chance to wait and find out... your sexual inclinations were molded by abuse, not your own free will. If you had been assaulted by women rather than men, you likely would've developed an unhealthy attraction toward harmful women instead; if it had been an alien, you might've ended up attracted to aliens, and so on. The point is, your attraction was shaped by what happened to you, not what you decided, and it could've gone any direction had the situations been different. What you need to realize, then, is this- you are a spiritual being much more than you are a physical being, and your sexual attractions do not determine who you are any more than the texture of your skin or the color of your eyes- because none of these things were decided for you; some were genetics, some brute circumstance. You are not simply/unquestionably a gay person and your sexual attractions do not define you- you are a young man who experienced repeated sexual abuse that may have inclined you toward becoming interested in men, because this was the nature of formative interactions beyond your control- but you are not only that. You are also an incredible warrior of a human being who has struggled so hard to keep his faith- fighting that ultimate jihaad amid situations most of us can't even imagine- and far stronger than most people I know. You're not just a sexual being so don't let that conundrum alone preoccupy you; you can also be a student, an artist, a writer, a soccer player, a pilot, and so on... being gay or straight is not the only thing, it's one very miniscule quality among an infinite number of others. You've also never gotten to be with a woman... don't be alarmed if you've never met a girl who interested you; some people search a lifetime before someone catches their eye, so don't close the door on the female half of the human race just yet. And if you're worried, deep down inside, that a woman wouldn't want to be with you because of what you've been through and the doubts you've had, don't be... if every 'perfectly straight' guy was as sincere as you, the wives of the world would be much happier women. I know, at the end of the day, you probably feel extremely lonely, and might also be inclined to believe that you're a homosexual because most guys don't go through the sexual confusion that you've experienced, so you might think that this confusion is absolute and irrefutable evidence that you aren't like the others. But the reason the average guy doesn't have to face the questions you have to face is not because he's straight and you're gay, it's because you have had experiences with being molested as a child and the average guy hasn't, so he doesn't even have a context in which to imagine the issues and attractions that are plaguing you. In summary, it's okay to question, it's okay to doubt, it's okay to consider... but more than anything, it's okay to let yourself feel sadness, and anger, and wonder why this happened to you and what the hell was wrong with the monsters who hurt you. Blame them, scream at them, accept what they did, don't put yourself through denial or self-hatred or misplaced guilt... know that none of it was your fault, and know that God loves you very very much. The fact that you've tried so hard, all these years, to maintain your faith even though you've been through so much is absolutely mind-blowing. I could never have that kind of faith, I don't know anyone who could survive as you have... there's gotta be one heck of a special place in heaven for an amazing soul like yours. You have suffered, and suffered, and suffered, but you can also triumph. Please don't give up on yourself. Even if you end up shaking your head and feeling convinced that you can't change your feelings of attraction, that's okay. You're still a wonderful being in my eyes, and I am just a flawed human being... imagine how precious you may very well be to God, who has 70 times the mercy of the most superior human beings, and an infinite amount of love to give. Please know that God did not want this to happen to you, and He did not cause it or stand by and watch- He gave human beings free will- free will that allows us to love each other, to serve each other, to do brilliant beyond brilliant things for our fellow human beings- but with all the good things we are capable of have to come the bad; the good could not exist without the darkness- so we are equally capable of harming, and taking advantage of, and destroying others. I am so sorry that you had to be on the receiving end of so much bad... you did not deserve it, and it did not have to be you, and those filthy goddamned [Edited Out]s will be punished for choosing you to harm- but please know that you are equally entitled to be on the receiving end of the world's good; let yourself move on and live peacefully and insh'Allah you will experience the happiness you deserve after so much hardship. You've been hurt, but you can also be loved and healed and put back together.
    3 points
  2. Maryaam

    Womankind

    Nicley put :) but we should be addressing these comments as inappropriate as they appear - and I think Marbles anger is justifiable here. He does address male comments against women quite regularily. It is a big point that women do not address ugly things women say about men on those threads and view it as a joke justified as payback for the horrible things men say. It is wrong and leads to a lot of hostility, I think it would be nice if we were all on the same side and did not let gender divide us. There seems to be more positive interactionamoung non-Mulsim males and females (and I am not ignoring all the not-so-good Western commercial oppression of women) - but in terms of working respectful relationships. Muslims seem to look for reasons to be at each others throats - differences in gender, race, country of origin, neighbourhood of Baghdad..... you get the idea. But it is true - it is difficult to understand the oppositie gender and how they react to things - especially when it seems disproportionate. Maybe And your point is..................:P I am sending that to my dad LOL Yes you have been and it is not reciprocated in kind. Point taken. Men do have hormone cycles....
    3 points
  3. It takes a lot of courage to share your darkest secrets even when you are anonymous. You relive the past that you try to block in your head every passing moment of your life. I am an eighteen year old male, and here I am, back on the forum where I once praised Islam and shared nohas, the place where I shared my pain for the sacrifices that were made for Islam. Muharram is coming up, and for every year of my life I have been fully devoted to it. I grew up in a corner-lot house, on one side we faced a Shia Masjid, on the other side was an Imam Bargah. The images of these places are painted in my head and I will never forget them. I was raised in this house till I was nine and every Muharram i spent all my days at the Masjid for male majilis and at the Imam Bargah for the female majilis. I had done almost anything a momin does for Muharram by the time I was 9. From decorating a Taboot to carrying an Alam to doing Zanjeer ka matam at the age of five. My mother used to tell me to calm down whenever Muharram came around, she was always worried that I would get exhausted. Some of my earliest childhood memories consist of Julooses and Zuljenahs and huge Alams that I one day wished to hold. Up until I was 9, every 8th Muharram my family put together an Alam and I took it out to the juloos that passed the front of my house and concluded at the Masjid. This was based on a manat my mother made before I was born. My family used to give out milk mixed with rooh-afzah and almonds. After I turned 9 our family came to the US and we still took out an Alam in the local Imam Bargah and passed out the rooh-afzah flavored drinks. I am writing this because I have lost all faith in god and maybe this year would be the first that I don't take out an Alam. Let's go back to when I was 5, 6, or 7, living in my neighborhood that seemed so religious. Everyone knew me by my name, I was the little kid loved by all the people at the masjid and the imam bargah. The women at the imam bargah knew me, the men at the masjid knew me, everyone on our block knew me, and maybe thats why I always felt so safe. The first time it happened was with our servant. I called him Chacha Sadiq, he was around 40 years old. Althought he was a muslim, he wasn't shia, but he always respected our believes. He was like a family member to us and I used to respect him so much. He was the first person who ever sexually molested me, and not just once, but maybe three or four times. The second person was Fouji Bhai, idk why I called him that, but he was always another guy I looked up to, Fouji Bhai. Whenever Muharram came around he would guide me around, he used to hold one of the biggest Alams, and I always wanted to be like him, tall and strong enough to hold an Alam that big. One time I ran up to him on the street to say hi and he took me to his room which was right above the Imam Bargah. Although his extent of molesting me wasn't as explicit as Sadiq's, but I still new whatever he was doing was wrong. Later i faced countless occasions where the teenagers who were living at the Masjid to be part of some Matami Dasta made me feel them up. I was a kid but I always knew something was wrong. Then when I turned 9 i moved to the US and slowly growing up I realized what had happened to me. This made me more religous and by the age of 13-14 I started praying five times a day. I started reading up on a lot of Islamic books and especially books on Karbala. This website became a part of my religious life for where it answered many questions and helped me share my passion for the Ahl-e-Bait. I guess recently I have realized that I am not attracted to women anymore, I am attracted to men. It makes me ashamed of myself, I can't look at myself in the mirror. Was this genetic? Was i born this way? How much part did nature vs nurture play? Was it because of all the things that had happened to me growing up? I asked many Maulanas and even talked to my sister about this, everyone said pray to Allah, and there is no such thing as being gay. I did pray to Allah, I have been praying all my life, I havent done many bad things except little white lies. Then why is god punishing me for no good reason, why would god let such a thing happen to a little boy and then turn his life miserable when he is all grown up. Then one day I thought, maybe there is no god....there is no justice... Whatever happened to me, nature or nurture, I didn't go out and make them happen, they happened to me, they happened to me in very religous places, by very 'religous' men. Where does that leave all religions? Where does that leave Islam?
    2 points
  4. Muskaan

    The Listener

    (Expressions from the heart Without a shred of talent...for which I sincerely apologise) The Listener Break time School playground Peals of laughter, screams Running, jumping Somersaults in the sandpit She lingered around the play area Dreamy smile on her cherubic face Gently kissed by short curls A longing in her eyes Hesitant desire in her heart Held back By blurred emotions Defied By physical impairment Imperceptible Yet undeniable Children self-absorbed Teachers gossiping, sipping tea Oblivious of the little girl Crouched At the edge of the playground Finally Back to class Resigned to the rest of the day….. *** 3 0’clock! Children scramble out In all directions The little girl Sits on a wooden bench Skinny legs dangling Weighed down by heavy shoes A necessity to set right Picturing the goodies she will eat Stomach growling slightly Patiently waiting Knowing she will be delayed As always All at once, Her name is called She looks up expectantly An unmistakable smile She walks as fast as she can Running, almost Dragging her over-sized bag ‘Salam my angel How was your day?’ The little girl recounts, With much enthusiasm, How she skipped, ran, jumped….. A sad, knowing smile from mum A warm life-giving embrace Finally she belongs A surge of confidence To be the queen of the house Heartily laugh without reservations Throw some tantrums even For a few hours Before she returns To take her place As the Observer The Listener…
    2 points
  5. I think a much better choice for her would be to find a room for rent with a family (preferably a practicing Christian or Jewish family w/ kids). I did this for a while when I was in college and although it might be uncomfortable for her, it probably wouldn't be unsafe. If you are living in a house with non muslims, college age, then definitely alcohol will be consumed in the house at some point. I am not saying all non muslims who drink will do something to her, but why take the chance. You are not just having to trust the guys she is living with but also their friends and their friends-friends. That is alot of people and statistically, increases your chances for a bad incident In a house with a family with kids, their is usually less traffic, in terms of people, and more monitoring of those going in and out since the family will definitely want to protect their own kids from bad situations and you/she will benefit from this.
    2 points
  6. How can you sit there and judge his knowledge? how do you know? HE HAS THESE THOUGHTS, he prays to be straight! Isnt any of this sinking in to you, he obviously doesnt want these thoughts, we need to HELP him, not scream at him while he's down, that isnt every Islamic. We need to advise him, and give him good advice to see the BEAUTIFUL side of Islam, not this abusive [Edited Out].
    2 points
  7. Guest

    I am losing faith in Islam...

    The fact that this happened to you in very "religious" places by very "religious" men does not reflect on Islam. The reality of sexual abuse is that is it almost always carried out by people we trust in authority positions. We tend to trust our pastors, our priests, and our imams with the sacred task of enriching our children and caring for them because we believe that in entrusting our children to these men of God we are submitting our trust ultimately to Him. Trust can lead to abuse. Is that necessarily always the case? Absolutely not and I am sure there are members on this forum that can advocate the moral decency of religious figures in their lives, but I am sure there are many more (such as yourself) who have found themselves betrayed by a man and felt betrayed by God as a result. I am concerned about a few things here, namely the role your sexual abuse has to play in your homosexuality. Being sexually abused has its definite implications and can contribute significantly to how you view your sexuality but it does not necessarily have to define you. You are only a product of what you have been subject to and perhaps time, healing, and professional help are essential to understanding YOUR sexual inclinations and desires rather than the sexual desires of the vile men who stole your innocence and molded your sexual identity. Please do PM me if you want more information about where to get this kind of help (since you are located in the United States) because it is critical that you are able to separate what happened to you from who you are. If you are gay this is something that will involve a lot more variables. You will get a lot of reactions like the ones you received on this thread, reaction from people who believe they know you and can define you because they have some sort of divine knowledge that allows them to do so. Screw them. Don't let them define you. You can't choose whether or not you are gay and no matter how many times they pretend they know they answers.. they simply do not. You won't ever be able to get across to them and you won't ever be able to make these people understand so I suggest you stop caring about whether or not homosexuality exists. Want proof that homosexuality exists? Go to san franfreggincisco.. or as brother Mahdaviat/Rubaiyat (one of the guys with the Iranian Flag wrapped around his eyes) suggested.. go see a mardi gras parade! All tasteless jokes aside though.. this is something that is strictly between you and Allah. Find out what this means for you and your future and embrace it. He does not give us a test we cannot pass, nor does he put us on this earth to deny who we are and live a life of self hatred and loathing where our nights are spent praying he had not created us so differently. Love who you are because He loves you too.
    2 points
  8. Salam, Do everything in your power to prevent your sister from coming in this situation. Its absolutely unacceptable. God help you.
    2 points
  9. Salam Alikum dear brother, First, I suggest to those who do not have anything constructive to contribute, to respect others and refrain from participating. To the original poster, My professional background is related to some of the issues you brought up, and I hope this helps: In my opinion, one of the main reasons your belief system seems to have crumbled is that it is based on materialistic rituals and things- I do not mean to offend, but this goes for the general Shia population. Idea of Muharram and iall its symbolism is really saddening, as it is ENTIRELY irrelevant to the events of Muharram. This is another topic entirely, but it is somewhat related to your problem because you put your trust and faith in people that were supposed to be worthy of it. And they were not, may God guide us all. Just to shed some light, I grew up in an Islamic "Shia" atmosphere as well, and 90% of the guys who participated in muharram events with a lot of 'passion', were absolute hoodlums. Muharram seems to be the season for these kind of people to rise... Anyway, to be more specific, you grew up in an environment that, in your mind, you constructed to be the "truth" or right path- and as you grew up you found that it is absolutely not...in fact it has caused you great turmoil that isnt supposed to come with an Islamic wholesome environment...so you have somewhat,maybe subconsciously, "rebelled" against it all- not because you are gay or an unbeliever, but because you are expressing your anger and frustration by abandonment . I hope you realize your idea of being religious growing up is anything but related to God and simply attached to earthly rituals that have little meaning. This is why you suddenly feel lost, because all you had was the physical aspect of worship. I encourage, and pray for you to truly study Islam--but first you have to rid yourself of any prejudices or biases. Don't relate actions to people (ex: praying makes you good, so and so prayed but did bad things, etc),but just study it for yourself. Dedicate your time and energy to the study of TRUE Islam, but first teach yourself to study without biases! I promise you will find new strengths and understand your purpose. Remember one thing, the people who have abused you are absolutely not worth your time, your emotions or anger ... learn to forgive them. In your times of weakness you will find your truth strengths. I am praying for you, and I applaud your courage in speaking truthfully about your beliefs. God bless you salam
    2 points
  10. Marbles

    Womankind

    Growing up as a fatherless child from the age of 7 among four women including three sisters with no other male figure around, I thought that I am best poised to understand the needs of women and problems they face in contemporary societies. However, I have come to the conclusion that I am far from understanding womankind as a gender. Would a male perspective in my early years improved this understanding? There is an intellectual air when speaking about the oppression of women, their emancipation and the ways to achieve it. Noble thing to do but it has become a one way process. We are happy to talk about the benefits but overlook the costs and earned responsibilities that come along with it. The needs of modern women have come at a high cost.... trivialising the needs of men and a dangerously eroded family/social structure. Women in their pursuit of 'freeing' themselves from the clutches of ''traditionalism' feel it acceptable to cross borders and trample on the personal space and rights of men, both from ethical and religious standpoints. Men have been put into a difficult situation with little ability to deal with these women who seem to be perpetually angry. Men are described as primitive "cavemen" whose only goal is to maintain oppressive privileges. I am fed up with reading this on on SC...comments such as 'most men are not good enough for women', [as if women are sacred houris from heaven] ‘women do so many sacrifices' [as if men enjoy sacrifice-free life], 'all men are pigs until proven otherwise' [what about your fathers, brothers, husbands and sons?]. It goes without saying that this behaviour is condescending, rude, vulgar and repulsive. What angers me is that comments like this appear to enjoy approval. The vast majority of women are complicit with their silence. Just look at the responses to the afore-mentioned comments on SC. No condemnation whatsoever. Does being 'feminist give them the licence to insult men. All hell would break loose if men said some of the things about women that women get away with. Does the responsibility of maintaining community akhlaq fall only on men? This mindset is destructive. It plays into the hands of real misogynists and insults the intelligence and integrity of the mostly good, but continually dissed men, who really want to create a workable solution based on equality in the society. Modern woman has the academic smarts to work in a man's world but she has also revealed a narrow small minded attitude that favours themself over the common good. Increasingly aggressive if not everything falls their way, women have achieved their milestones by adopting the worst of the traits of men - not the best. Women are increasingly becoming an embarrassment to their gender and to their legacy of their mothers, grandmothers and aunts. They have dropped the grace and nobility in search of an elusive and sometimes unclear role in the modern world. There is a genuine need to do some introspection as to the impact of this grab for the society at large. I have received scorns from men for being biased in favour of women. But women have pushed the boundaries too far and I am having more and more trouble justifying it. Is it justifiable?
    2 points
  11. Maryaam

    Womankind

    LOL do you deliver?
    2 points
  12. Guest

    Womankind

    That was probably just the result of AliMohammad40 pulling an all nighter ;)
    2 points
  13. Maryaam

    Womankind

    Read into what you wiil.......but actually, my timing is impeccable and yes, apology accepted.
    2 points
  14. Maryaam

    Womankind

    Men who can cook are hot commodities - I hear it all the time - you will be beating them off... :Hijabi:
    2 points
  15. Marbles

    Womankind

    Oh I’m glad you finally addressed the issue instead of dancing like a whirling dervish chanting “women, women” in ecstasy. Riggghtt, the thing is that I value your opinion and was distressed to see you so easily throw out my thoughts. It was a serious issue and you were being dismissive and arrogant. I was really rude and mean to you wasn’t I? But I’m glad it worked for you LOL. Soo am I sorry for being rude? NO. Should you apologise for taking million years to get to the point? DEFINITELY YES :P I knew that you know I am not made at you for real - your cool and calm reaction proved that. :angel: Dair aayed durust aayed [i’m not translating this one for you]
    2 points
  16. Guest

    Womankind

    Blithering imbecile.
    2 points
  17. khuram

    A pakistani wife

    (wasalam) g bilkul, to me a wife is the other terminal of the battery so both the terminals are equally important and needed for the smooth flow of charge in the circuit , so both the terminals (husband,wife) share the equal amount of responsibility to run n manage the home n be a productive unit(home) of the society. but lets see aagay hota hay kia - Allah reham karay
    2 points
  18. Marbles

    Womankind

    Not viewing the supposed weaknesses as inherent doesn't make the problems go away does it? So how do we address it? I have been doing this all along. Check my record on SC. But are those angry women willing to reciprocate? I doubt it very much.
    2 points
  19. You can compromise your religion without being in a loaded situation - but this one is definitely loaded. It is difficult enough sharing with girls and all their friends - but these guys have friends too and they will be coming over. At best it would be uncomfortable and at worst unsafe. Add drinking to that and it could be really difficult. I could not always find Muslim roomates (only had one) so always went with practising Christians - I wasnt converted and had a safe quiet home....for the most part :P Meant to add that she could check out some of the organizations or clubs to her liking and see if they have any openings in their houses. Not sure how it works there though.
    2 points
  20. khuram

    A pakistani wife

    zist ki talkh haqiqat ko nibhana hai mujhe job se aa k abhi khana pakana hai mujhe merey sartaj se baasi nahii khaya jata garm roti bhi isi waqt pakana hai mujhe mujhko bacho'n ko lana hai sitter k ghar se saaf suthra inhe nehla k banana hai mujhe baap k unko to tv se hii fursat kab hai khana khilwa k phir homework karwana hai mujhe tarbiat unki karoo'n ye bhi tau hai farz mera kalma sun'na hai sipara bhi parhana hai mujhe loria'n de k sulaoo'n ye kaha'n unke naseeb unko bistar pe akeley hii litana hai mujhe phir safaie mai karoongi mai karoongi dusting landri karna hai aur mop lagana hai mujhe istri mai na karoongi tau karega phir kaun? istri ghar ki hoon iss ghar ko sajana hai mujhe roz k kaam mujhe khud hii chukane hongey aaye week end tau sauda bhi tau lana hai mujhe hai faqat kasur mera ye k mai aik biwi hoo'n aur shohar ka bhi harr naaz utthana hai mujhe raat aadhi hui aur kaam merey baqi hain aur subha utth k abhi job pe jana hai mujhe janey kab samjhengey ye unn ko bataoo'n kaisey aa k Maghrib mai bhi Mashriq ko nibhana hai mujhe
    1 point
  21. So being Usooli is kinda like following a madhab?
    1 point
  22. (salam) Okay let's think about this for a second. You believe Paul saw Jesus (as) after his death, and is therefore an eyewitness follower of him. And yet you just discredited the Qur'an because it was written after Jesus (as). I'll let you think about that for a second. As for the writers of the Gospels, really? For someone who has been studying the Bible for "35 years", you would know that the Gospels were written completely anonymously decades after the death of Jesus (as). Let's take the Gospel of Mark as an example, as it is the oldest of your Gospels. A wide range of recent critical scholars believe that Mark was written at the earliest after the fall of Jerusalem and the destruction of the Second Temple in 70 CE - almost 40 years after the alleged crucifixion. The Gospel itself was written anonymously, so the authorship is unknown through the text, except for the name "Mark" slapped onto it, with no real information besides that. The oldest manuscripts are written in Greek, not Hebrew, not Aramaic, but Greek, a language not spoken by Jesus (as) or his Apostles (ra). It also describes events such as the birth of Jesus (as) that Mark surely did not witness, and gave no point of reference. And that's your oldest Gospel - not to mention it leaves out some very critical Christian beliefs, such as the resurrection of Jesus (as). Many biblical scholars believe that Matthew used Mark as a reference when writing his Gospel. The other reference Matthew and Luke used was the theoretical Gospel of Q, a collection of Jesus' sayings. Why o why did they need these outside sources to write about Jesus (as), who you are so sure that they knew? John, which is also written completely anonymously, was written (according to most Bible scholars) sometime after or between 90-100 CE. That's almost 60-70 years after the alleged crucifixion, and yet this guy was an "eyewitness" of Jesus (as) from his miracle birth to the resurrection. On top of that, you've got thousands of manuscripts of the four Gospels dating to the first few hundred years, each with their minor or major differences and inconsistencies. Some of the Biblical stories like the one of Jesus (as) and the prostitute, the verse of the trinity, and the last verses of Mark, have been proven to additions that are not in the earliest manuscripts. Also, there are many other Gospels written around the same period as your 4, such as the Gospel of Thomas, and yet you do not take them as canon. Why? I can go on forever. Instead of just studying the text, study where the text comes from if you really want Truth. The word Allah is one the predates Islam. It is a merge between the Arabic words "Al" and "Ilah" ("The" and "god"). It is a neutral gender and cannot be pluralized. Let me ask you a question - why do you use the word God for the God of Abraham? The word God can be masculine, or feminine as Goddess, or pagan as "god", or pluralized. If anything, your term for God is faulty. Hundreds of millions of Christians, Muslims, and Jews in all of the Arab countries use the word Allah to refer to God, and the word is NOT biased to any religion. It is simply the Arabic word for God, and Jesus (as) called his Lord Allaha. And you say no other god is permitted to be worshiped in Arab countries. What are you talking about? There's like 19 Arab countries, and in every single one of them, there are ancient Christian communities that live in peace, and have been since the beginning of Islam. Stop embarrassing yourself.
    1 point
  23. ^^ (salam) Thanks Akhi :) . I Guess This Sentence Tickled Your Heart áÇÒã äÀیŸ ˜À Êæ Ȫی ãیÑÇ ªã ÎیÇá ªæ . (wasalam)
    1 point
  24. ÇÈ ÈÇÊ ÏæÓÊی ˜ی äÀیŸ ÍæÕáÿ ˜ی ªÿ áÇÒã äÀیŸ ˜À Êæ Ȫی ãیÑÇ ªã ÎیÇá ªæ
    1 point
  25. Stoning is a legal Islamic punishment. The hadith posted by Br. Macisaac is authentic. The verse of stoning was abrogated from recitation but the ruling remains. w/s
    1 point
  26. Kuch Aur mangna Mere Maslak main Kufar hai La de apna Hath mere dast-e-sawal main
    1 point
  27. Got to agree with you on this one.
    1 point
  28. Anonymous-Male

    Womankind

    I'm not making any reference about the society at large, but .... .....there is no doubt that on SC at least, there has always been a strong sisterhood which has a very hostile attitude towards men. It has been like that from the early days of the forum. Men are insulted, degraded and ridiculed by women (on this forum) and most female members here are strongly united when it comes to anti-male sentiments. Of course, men also vocalize their grudges against women...but the sort of unity and disgust for men that exists in the female members here is quite surprising.
    1 point
  29. Guest

    Your Own Quotes

    "The only path that leads to greatness is that which inspires modesty." "True modesty is rising upward when you ought to proceed forward." "When opposing ideals collide, only that which contains the impact will define reality."
    1 point
  30. (salam) related to Aisha but not to the matter you mention about traveling, this one is pretty clear though. (9) 'Amra reported that a Jewess came to 'A'isha to ask (about something) and said: May Allah protect you from the torment of the grave! 'A'isha said: Messenger of Allah, would people be tormented in the graves? The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: (May there be) protection of Allah! The Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) mounted one morning on the ride, and the sun eclipsed. 'A'isha said: I came in the company of the women in the mosque from behind the rooms. The Messenger of Allah (way peace he upon him) dismounted from his ride and came to the place of worship where he used to pray. He stood up (to pray) and the people stood behind him. 'A'isha said: He stood for a long time. He then bowed and it was a long ruku'. He then raised his head and he stood for a long time, less than the first standing. He then bowed and his ruku' was long, but it was less than that (the first) ruku'. He then raised and the sun had become bright. He (the Holy Prophet) then said: I saw you under trial in the grave like the turmoil of Dajjal. 'Amra said: I heard 'A'isha say: I listened after this to the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) seeking refuge from the torment of Fire and the torment of the grave. (Book #004, Hadith #1973) (wasalam)
    1 point
  31. Guest

    Womankind

    Clue #1: Who could possibly be mean to maryaam? I smell something fishy
    1 point
  32. Bonafide Hustler

    Womankind

    thanks for the compliment maryam sis, i added another recipe
    1 point
  33. Are you going to be taking over for Iron Chef Atanta??? :) Miss him :cry:
    1 point
  34. SubhanAllah how can some people here try to justify this Muslim sister living with non-mahram, non-muslim men? I'd like to see some fatawa from shia scholars and maraje' which allow what you are saying, i'm sure they would not allow this. You have to do all that you can to stop her from moving in with them, this is a serious fitnah and she is definately compromising her deen. A Muslimah who places Allah s.w.t and her religion above all else, would even leave university and move back in with her parents rather than live with non mahram males.
    1 point
  35. Marbles

    Womankind

    I think we all want and try to understand each other. Things become a tad difficult with the opposite gender. Anyway I think I need to understand woman better 'cause of your #5 :P Oh and as for voting you down, nah, it wasn't me. Maybe someone on these boards doesn't like you lol
    1 point
  36. Dirac Delta function

    Womankind

    No I wasn't suggesting there was any personal aspect to it, just that Im not sure why you would want to understand women beyond those relevant to your personal life, in which case, there are only a few women that you would actually need to understand.
    1 point
  37. What's the big deal if they pay a little more (share an apartment with someone and pay the extra?)? Is money that big a deal?
    1 point
  38. Marbles

    Womankind

    I agree that there should be an effort to introduce the change from bottom up. If the foundation is put straight the building would be strong. I don't understand the inherent weaknesses[?] of women, and men, you are hinting at. How these discrepancies create a conflict at the societal level? Actually, you will notice that the debate about men and women, and the oppression/rights of women, is increasingly made in reference to modernity vs. traditionalism. We can't make the point without dealing with the premise whether we accept it as valid or not.
    1 point
  39. Doctor_Naqvi

    An Entreaty

    apne meri baat ko bilkul out of context quote kiya hai.Mazhab ke nazariye se dekhne se meri muraad yeh thi ke bohut se loog jo ke bohut hi ziyaada extremist hain.Fundamentalist nai keh rahi.Fundamentalist hona achchi baat hai mein khud fundamentalist hoon.is liye extremism ko fundamentalism se confuse mat keejiye ga.to jo extremist hain unke nazariye se kuch ashaar bohut hi ghair mayari hoonge.Woh to un per lahool bhi parhte hoonge kyunke woh ishqe majaazi ke khilaaf hain. Ishqe majaazi aur ishqe haqeeqi donoon bohut zaroori hain.Ishqe haqeeqi aapko Allah saeen ke bohut qareeb le jaata hai.Aur ishqe majaazi aapko sahih maanoon mein insaan banata hai.Agar ishqe haqeeqi per hi qanaat karna thi to phir Allah taala ne Hazrat Adam aur Hawa ko kyun paida kiya.Wohi thi ishqe majaazi ki ibtedaa.Ishq-e-majaazi aur ishqe haqeeqi,in donoon ko shayar hazaraat ne apni shayari mein istemaal kiya hai.Laikin Faraz ki shayari mein aapko ishqe haqeeqi kam milega.unki shayari mazhab se contradict to tab kare jab unka koi kalam aapko aqeeda-e-tauheed se contradict karta hoa mile ghalib ki tarah.Bhai humaari society bari involute-d si society hai. Do lafz deen ke parh liye aur lage logoon per fatwey lagaane.Kabhi khud se do lafz likh ke dekhiye,kaise chaati chori kar ke chalenge.Char mohalley chor,saatwein mohaaley tak khabar phailaeen ge ke hum ne kuch likha hai is se baraks ke is ka mayaar kiya hai.Ab yeh to loog hi bataaenge ke kitna mayaari hai.Phir agar kissi ne keh diya,"miyaan thora sa be-wazan hai to hum to le kar uske sar pe na de mareenge koi cheez utha kar. To phir hum kaun hote hain kissi aise insaan ki poetry per tabsirra karne waale ke jis ki shayari bemisaal hai.Jo poore subcontinent ke adabi halqoon mein mashoor hai.Jis ki poetry ke English versions publish ho rahe hain.Hum jinhein abhi qafia aur radeef hi ka nai pata kissi aisi shakhsiyat per kaise tabsirra kar sakte hain jo ke ooj-e-kamal per hai.Humaare likhe gaye do chaar badhe alfaaz,jin ko hum aik shahkaar ka darja deen,unki buraai nai sun sakte.To phir khud soochein ke kissi aise legend ki shayari ki dhajjiyaan uraeen to usko kaisa lagega.Shukar hai ke woh zinda nai.Nai to apni aisi beqadri dekh kar zarror yeh soochta ke kya zarrorat pari thi aisi qaum ko itna behtareen fan deene ki. Shayari,funoone lateefa ka hissa hai.Is per agar aap mazhab ko bedaud kareenge to kaise chalega.Kya kehta hai humara mazhab sculpture aur statues banane ke baare mein.loog banaate hain na.Ab is per bhi kai loog fatwa lagaate hain kufr ka.Arre,to jo sculpture banaate hain woh unka fun hai woh unki parastish karne ke liye nai banaate.Yeh Art hai.Aur art aur religion ko emuglate mat kareen. Alag hi rehne deen. Kya khyal hai big bang theory ke baare mein.Kya aap maante ho ke universe ki takhleeq big bang ke nateeje mein hoi.Nai na.Text books mein to parha hai na.Papers mein bhi isko sach maan kar likha hai.To kya yeh mazhab se contradict nai kar raha.Kar raha hai.To phir kyun na paper mein yeh likha ke Hazrat humaara mazhab is ke khilaaf hai.Mein nai maanta. Theory of Evolution bhi text ka hissa hai.usko bhi parha hai.Kya woh mazhab se nai takra rahi.Bilkul to kyun nai Muslims usko text se nikaal deete.Test tube babies aur cloning ke khilaaf hai na to kyun nai usko text books mein se nikaal deete.Is liye kyunke hum aisa nai kar sakte. Aisa na mumkin hai.Hum is dunya se kat kar nai reh sakte.Science ko nai chor sakte.Nai to hum peeche reh jaayeenge.Is liye mera yeh kehna hai ke har cheez ko mazhab ke nazariye mein fit karne ki kaushish mat keejiye.Labellization ke baghair bhi kaam chal jaata hai.Mazhab ka apna maqaam hona chahiye aur Art ka alag.Art aur culture jaisi cheezoon se katne ke baad,loogoon ka kya haal hoga.Jangli,bheryoon ki tarah logoon ka maarte phireen ge. Taliban ne ki na kaushish So called Islam implement karne ki.Kya hoa.NWFP ke loogoon ka kitna behtareen culture tha.Uske bajaaye jab unhoon ne moderation ko chora aur har cheez per haraam ka label lagaya to kya hoa.Haathoon mein bandooq aayi ya nai.yeh kya tha.Funoone lateefa se doori. bus yehi kehna tha.kuch ziyaada hi lamba ho gaya.Laikin iski bohut zaroorat thi.
    1 point
  40. Salams What is the ikhtilaf (difference of opinion amongst Imamis) regarding the meaning and details of raja'at ? Fi-Amanillah
    1 point
  41. Fiasco

    Maryaam

    I'm a bit late, but happy birthday. Hope u enjoyed.
    1 point
  42. Dirac Delta function

    Maryaam

    Well I can believe you were a nurse, but I doubt Maryam was born in a hospital - she would accept nothing less than a waterbirth..the girl loves her water. Still, the only reason I question it is that she may not want people knowing her birthday if she keeps it private on her profile.
    1 point
  43. Marbles

    Maryaam

    I was assistant nurse at the hospital she was born :angel:
    1 point
  44. 89jghur32

    Utterly Confused

    I don't agree with you. What about the intercession through the attributes of Allah? What about the intercession through the great deeds of great personalities? Both are allowed according to the majority of Sunni scholars. The blanket prohibition that you've mentioned is something that I've heard mainly from Salafi and Wahhabi scholars who are NOT representative of Ahlus Sunnah.
    1 point
  45. Hassan2jz

    Utterly Confused

    Really? Because last time I checked, the majority of Sunnis adhered to a madhab, each single one approving of intercession. See below. You can't be half baked in your ideology, either you are a Salafi or you follow a madhab and are a Sunni. And there are countless other narrations in support of intercession. Therefore, if one follows a madhab, you must believe that intercession is permissible (although you do not need to engage in it if you are not comfortable.)
    1 point
  46. Basim Ali

    Islamic Quiz

    (salam), Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds and benedictions upon the Messenger of Allah (as) and his Purified Progeny (as) The Abu Talib (as) Round 1. Name the two titles, Abu Talib (a) bore as leader of Banu Hashim tribe. 2. How old was the Prophet (pbuh) when Abu Talib (a) took him under his care? 3. Where did Abu Talib (a) take the Prophet (pbuh) when he (the Prophet (pbuh)) was 12, and why? 4. Abu Talib (a) and Hamza (a) were brothers from the same mother. True or False? 5. Name the children of Abu Talib (a). (6 in all) 6. What was the real name of Abu Talib (a). 7. Name Abu Talib's (a) parents. 8. Imam Jafar (as) has compared Abu Talib (a) to what people mentioned in the Quran?* 9. Where is Abu Talib (a) buried? (city and cemetery name) 10. Give the date of Abu Talib's (a) demise. 11. Who did Abu Talib (a) ask to 'Shut Up!' at the feast of Dhul Asheera? 12. Name the monk who warned Abu Talib (as) about Prophet (pbuh). 13. Who died first, Abu Talib (a) or Khadija (as)? How much time gap was there between the deaths of the two? 14. How old was the Prophet (pbuh) when Abu Talib (a) died? Good luck! :) Round ends; 5 GMT, Tuesday, 17th November, 2009 (wasalam) Basim Ali Jafri
    1 point
  47. (salam) Thanks for your advice , mein isi liay Pakistan agaya hon . btw yay app pakistaniyon ko zabardasti ka bahan bannay ka kia shouq hota hai .. Yay Zabardasti ki Rishtedariyaan pasand nahi hain :S.. I dont want to sound rude .. but I just dont like it Peace
    1 point
  48. (salam) Things should be quick.. I hate wasting time .. I wonder why people waste time in Pakistan :S Peace
    1 point
  49. (salam) Sanaf-e-Nazuk nay kia hamla kerna hai brother in faith... Man there are alot of issues... Pehlay Issue the Degree nahi hai .. jab degree hui tou issue tha job nahi hai .. Jab job mil gaya tou issue hai k Larki nahi hai .. Phir meri family kaafi ziada shia families ko jaanti nahi hain ... us k ooper Rishta Wali Aunty has been topifying me for the last three weeks ... Peace
    1 point
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    1 point
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