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Salam Alaykum, Of course I doubt every practice that exists within our community has directly emerged from our sources in its exact form and shape. But at this point like the speaker said there are a lot of positives and I think it keeps our communities intact. I think just being aware of this should suffice and always striving to educate ourselves in matters of our history and not judging others. Visiting the graves of our Imams (عليه السلام) does bring about a lot of rewards regardless. One could visit anytime of the year including Arba'een.

Hello and Salam. I am 35 year old and living here in Karachi, Pakistan. I live with my two elderly parents and my younger sister. I quit my 9 to 5 job in advertising back in May 2023 because I wanted to do certain things on my own - freelance, etc My parents are very hard to deal with, especially my father. Both of them are completely dependent on me. My mother fractured her femur (thigh bone) and recently had an orthopaedic surgery. She came back home from the hospital a few days ago. She is bedridden for the next few months and hopefully will start walking in a few months, In sh'Allah. My father, on the other hand, is a LOT to deal with. He is 75, and retired from a law enforcement job that lasted 35–40 years. I am trying to be polite here and not disrespectful, but honestly, I do not respect my father. As I have grown and gained awareness in the past 5–10 years, I have realised he is a very toxic person. And now, in his old age, all his personality flaws have become further amplified - he loses his cool every day on the smallest of things, he is disrespectful to the helping staff at our home, he is grumpy, if things don't go his way, he throws a tantrum, etc. Recently, my father got infected with an MRSA infection (aka staph infection). He developed carbuncles on his back and nape of neck which I have gone with him to the hospital to get taken out in the past 2 months. Every day, I change his wound dressing. My problem with my Dad is that i will always help him when i can, but his personality makes it so difficult to deal with him. If he was at least nice to people around him, I wouldn't mind it that much. I have to babysit him at times, basically - i have to tell him what to do and what not to do for his own beneficial sake. And his cooperation is 50/50. You might be wondering why i am writing all of this here? I guess you can that I need an outlet to vent out my frustrations. Its 4 months since i left my job and I haven't found the peace of mind to do anything about my career. My parents are totally dependent on me, and i have started to become bitter and resentful. I can't sit for an hour at home and do my own thing and they need me for everything and anything at any time. I am also resentful because they didn't take care of themselves when they were young, and now in their old age, they are completely dependent on me and my sister. In the past few months, I had to let go of freelance opportunities because my parents weren't well. I feel like I am wasting the prime years of my life at home without investing in my career. Sometimes, I just start crying out of frustration and I feel helpless. I am hoping, that there is some solace in this suffering. That all of this means something. I am running out of patience. Every day is stressful, because of my father and sometimes because of my mother. Please tell me what to do...what does Islam say...how I do go about things. JazakAllah and Salam.

As salaamun aleikum brother, Bro, I am in the same exact situation with you! Parents are 80 and 81, father is extremely sick and on hemodialysis, and mother has dementia and is impossible to work with and won't shower. One time went 2 years without a shower. Father is rude and angry and upset and for the same reasons as yours, didn't take care of himself when he was younger and now he is in a horrendous health situation. Is on my brother's and my neck to take care of both of them, he fights with us and is loud and very disrespectful a lot of times and.. it sounds exactly like your situation! I know the brother above has done what he can by posting things out of the Quran but to be very honest with you, none of that helps people when they are in the situation that you and I are in! All it does is put more guilt on top of us and make us feel more like we have not done our duty because I'm sure you as well as me get frustrated with the situation and it is VERY near impossible to bear. Even when I am with my husband, I have constant guilt about how I'm going to feel when my parents pass away and how I should have done better but knowing that I am pushed to my limits now I cannot possibly do any better than I am doing, especially when cooperation is never 100% from their side either because like my mom for example, is not really capable of cooperating 100% because she has a damaged brain, whereas my father makes a willful choice to be rude, disrespectful and unhelpful and loud and obnoxious and.. you get the picture. I also am recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, long covid and possibly chronic fatigue syndrome.. have to wait 6 months to be seen by The chronic fatigue specialist here! -.- I don't really have anything helpful here to say because I am drowning in the same filthy dirty swamp that you are drowning in and there really is nothing that I can do to save myself from this. Yourself such as my family already have hired help at the capacity we can afford them at. There's nothing that I can do beyond this except just sit around and wait for the inevitable to happen...my brother has put his career on hold also and was messaging me the other day saying how much he misses working, but since he actually lives at the house with my parents, he really doesn't have a way of changing things. I on the other hand am with them half the week and then go back to my husband for the rest of the week. It is a very crazy situation because I am the only Muslim and my family do not live by Islamic standards because they are average Americans with the American mentality on things...there is a dog in the house and many other difficulties I have to bear when I am here. Alhamdulillah, I have a detached building that I can keep nijasah-free... I am spiritually mentally and pysically suffering. I have no idea, I just know I have had two mental breakdowns because I am not the kind of person that can deal with the kind of stress that this is having. One night I had reached such a horrendous limit that I literally felt like I wanted to peel my body off of me as if it was clothing, I literally felt like I was two people and and that I desperately needed to get out of this physical fleshy meat suit that I was wearing and separate from myself. I had literally lost my mind and that's happened twice to me within the last year because I don't have the mental capacity to deal with this. I wasn't raised in such a way where I would grow up with that capacity. I mean think about it.. the same father that is like this now was like this when I was a kid and what type of a person does that type of personality inculcate in a small child?? I am well tested beyond my abilities here because if I wasn't, I wouldn't be having mental breakdowns. Anyway, I'm going to try to send you a DM with a support group that you can join. I don't know if I'm allowed to put that in a post here so I will try to send it to you direct message. It is a support group where people from all over the world discuss their problems and ask for solutions for the situations they are dealing with while they are caretakers. It's a very beneficial support group to be part of. I just hope that you're able to access it from pakistan. WIth duas--

this is hard for me to write but I need help. I keep having nightmares about my sexual assault. It wont stop. I've become paranoid that he is going to attack me, and hurt me again. This has led to an eating disorder, and self harm. I have been having suicidal thoughts as well. Help. What do I do? please do not recommend counselling or therapy.

TBH, I only watched half of the video, so I get the part that weed is addictive and affects the brain. However, the most recent research that I heard is that mice exposed to marijuana have shrunk the size of their testicles, and human males have reduced sperm count after marijuana exposure. The infertility problem should be enough for men to stay away from it. There is also a study that pregnant women who smoke marijuana allow the exposure to their unborn male child through the placenta attachment and that could affect the development of the male gonad.

Unfortunately, we cannot but suggest professional help. None of us are equipped to deal with your situation. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) help you.

I hear you and get where you’re coming from. The community to be very frank is a bit of a train wreck. It’s why it’s a good idea to make your religion about your relation with God rather than about people. People are … very often disappointing.

Salam alaykum, I’ve posted on this forum before regarding this situation. Long story; I’m a 22 year old girl, I ran away from home at the age of 18 after calling the police on my dad because he beat up my mom, and had verbally threatened to kill her. He had been physically, mentally & emotionally abusive towards me, my mom, and my younger sister before that. I ended up living in a womans shelter for a while, and now I live by myself. I’ve been in therapy ever since. I have to be honest and say that I have lost my faith quite a bit. I had no contact with my parents for 2 years, before I met them again after my dads trial, that got «cancelled» because it was severely impacting my mental health. I then had contact with them for a month, before going no contact again for 2 years, and then having contact with them again, ever since I’ve had contact with them for a year now. Sorry if that’s confusing btw. It’s been a bit turbulent, but for the most part I’ve been capable of setting a bit of boundaries with them, and meeting them monthly. My dad has not been physically abusive towards anyone ever since, but has still been verbally abusive towards sister & mom. My mom’s family has ever since been informed about what happened, and they know, but they live in Asia, and can’t do anything, they have advised my mom to divorce my dad, and call the police if he shows up again, my mom has been lying and telling them that he doesn’t live at home anymore. He was advised by both CPS & my some relatives about living elsewhere, and he did do that for about a month, but was basically always there except for at night. The way I got contact again with them last year, was because my sister ran away because my dad got mad (verbally abusive), my mom and sister attempted to leave and stay at my moms coworkers place, but eventually my sister ran away, because it had happened so often and mom always went back home, and she was terrified of going back home, she came to me, we had contact secretly for two years, but I didn’t know what had happened until she came to my door. My mom ended up not eating, not drinking, and while this happened my dad had left, and somehow my uncle in Asia found out my mom was all alone at home not eating not drinking, and called his son living in a country close to us, and told him to check up on my mom, he did, and ended up calling me telling me my mom was sick, I got there really quickly, and was obviously worried, and sat there for a while going over the same things (we’re scared of dad & don’t want to live with him). He ended up coming when he found out I was there, and started crying and giving the same promises he’s given a million times before, about how he’s gonna change, and how much he missed me and had been wondering where I was each night. Anyways I’ve had contact with them since, and several times my dad has gone mad, and my sister has been staying out late to avoid being home, mom has panicked, called me, I’ve had to navigate the situation. Back to the current situation, on wednesday night my dad got mad and started yelling and my sister heard him say he was gonna beat her up, so she got scared, put on her shoes and ran out, she sat in the building for a bit, too scared to go out, while he was calling her a bunch, first he messaged her telling her nicely to pls pick up the phone, the rest were quickly him cursing (too put it mildly) and telling her to pick up the phone, and that she’s ruining her family, and then he ended up saying that she can go to h£ll, and that she’s never welcome back. She came to me, and yesterday out of worry for mom I called up my uncle, and told him what had happened we went there and we just ended up being lectured, about how we can’t just run away, and if we cut contact once more they’ll never talk to us again. After all this I went home, and soon was called by my sister where another situation had occured, and my sister was packing up her stuff because she said she didn’t want to live there anymore, my mom was telling me over the phone to tell my sister to stop, and that she’s killing her, and she’s gonna try to kill herself, and how she’s already attempted to kill herself because of this, while my sister was saying that dad’s never gonna change. It’s extremely safe to say that another «episode» will happen, my dad will get mad again, and start threating to beat them up, and other verbally abusive things, my sister has no plans of staying in that home, and my mom will never divorce him, or support my sister moving out. I don’t know what to do, I’m completely lost, I don’t have any plans of cutting contact with my parents, but sister doesn’t mind that happening, I don’t know what to do when the situation comes and my mom starts saying that she’s gonna kill herself again. I literally am reaching my end, I can’t keep on doing this, I feel like I’m losing my mind, I don’t live there anymore but somehow I’m still involved in every problem they keep on making there. I am not mentally stable, and each time something like this happens it takes me a long time to get back from that, I literally don’t know what to do and feel like I’m gonna explode. I want to slam my head into a wall each time this keeps happening. Mom just wants us to be with her irregardless of where that is, and keeps saying he’s not gonna do anything to you guys, he promised, he’s done that a bunch of times before and has broken them all of those times. And psychological abuse is also horrible, my sister won’t stay at home no matter what, it’s literally a matter of time before my dad gets mad about something else. I don’t know what to do with myself. She keeps on saying she’s gonna kill herself, and that we’re killing her, and that we’re ruining her life, I can’t keep on hearing this again and again, and going through her sobbing, starving herself, and not drinking or sleeping. I literally don’t know what to do. My sister is 19. I’m so tired. Police has been involved before, mom lies and says dad hasn’t done anything to her or us, mom looks at police and cps as her enemies. Only relatives in this country is dads side of the family, they all blame me for calling the police back then, and say they’ve forgiven me, and that I don’t realize how horrible what I’ve done is, and how I’m not white and I can’t call the police etc, and how outsiders can’t be trusted, and how no one loves me besides my family. I don’t really think I need forgiveness for that. They’ve known he’s been abusive since we’ve been kids and all they do is give him a talk, and two or three times when we were kids take us in for a couple of days or so but we’ve always had to go back to the abusive household. My dad kept talking about how I have to stop being so sensitive and have to move on from the past, and how I have to forgive them because they asked for my forgiveness, I have c-ptsd, and he keeps telling me everyone has ptsd, and how I can’t resign from life and give up because of that, which I haven’t done, my life is just going much slower while I’m trying to heal, and how God tells people in the Quran to be strong no matter what they go through, but I’m just so exhausted and tired. I feel so much guilt for my sister being back home, she’s my younger sister and I love her so much, and hate that this is a never ending problem for us.

Salam Alaykum, The struggle is real. You'd be surprised at the number of 'closet' atheists within our communities who are at a point where not praying does not bother them. I think the Western society has created a lot of mess, yes they offer us good opportunities to make good money, invest in decent properties, live a comfortable life etc. However this comes at the cost of our spiritual health, stripping away what truly makes up our identity. This is why in the West, there are growing number of people who just can't be 'stuffed' praying because they are indifferent. And no one gets an obvious sign when they are stabbing themselves in the soul. It may show up at some point in the form of 'depression', 'mid-life crisis', 'confusion etc. but these people will end up distracting themselves through their pursuit of more material possessions and just distractions/sins. Those who don't make an effort to follow the laws of Islam are totally indifferent and they are the ones who are swept by the wave of society. The ones who consciously live their lives in terms of everything, from the food they eat to the stuff they watch to their friend circles, these are the ones who end up protecting their faith (and Allah knows best). All the rest are simply lost individuals who I would not even consider for marriage. But you are looking for the right things, like finding someone who takes their prayer seriously, this is the foundation! everything else follows. All I can say is that this is jihad just keep trying and never give up, and also don't underestimate the power of praying for the right spouse. If Allah wills he will bring two righteous people together.

Bismillah Ta'la The fact that it has become legal is only an excuse for the governments to collect more taxes. They know that it is harmful for people and has no medical benefits. Here is a video talk given by a Stanford University Researcher on Addiction and Addiction Medicine. She is not a Muslim/a btw. A Summary of what she said is Weed has absolutely NO MEDICAL BENEFITS beyond short term (2 weeks or less) pain relief. It does not reduce chronic pain, anxiety, depression, etc. In fact, it increases these over time as it blocks the bodies natural neural and biological pathways for pain relief (she mentioned dopamine and cannabinoid receptors). All the studies done for 'medical benefits' of weed that show medical benefits are short term studies, two weeks or less. These studies are scientifically invalid since they are only done for a particular timespan which is 'pre cooked' to show a beneficial result, i.e. they are biased and almost always sponsored by companies that manufacture medical marijuana products. Weed is addictive. She put to rest the myth that 'you cannot get addicted to weed'. Please watch the video if you want to know the truth about weed and a few of the reasons why it is haram.

I don't know why, but I'm kind of in the middle between segregation and mixed, I believe both should be practiced. I went to a private islamic school and the classes were mixed but at the same time both guys and girls were separated in the classrooms. The only times they allowed us to interact with the opposite gender were in group projects or during assistance, in fact they encouraged it sometimes so that we could improve our communication and interpersonal skills with both genders. It made more sense once I graduated and entered university why it seemed to be the case, along with finding a job. However, given the fact that we're living in scary times and this lgbtqz+ whatever nonsense has been spreading, parents are now fearful for putting their children in public schools where they are mixed.

And my statement is that just as one should avoid a woman known for lying if there are better women who don't lie and there are, he should also avoid a woman who doesn't wear a hijab if there are better women who do wear hijab and there are. Should a sister marry a man who "hopes" to pray after decades years of missing it and "struggling" with it? Should a sister marry a man who is able to go to Hajj, and "hopes" to one day, but pushes it away year after year? Should a sister marry a man who doesn't fast in the Holy Month Ramadhan but "hopes" to one day? You may reply with "yes, if they are decent people and Muslim", but I will tell you there is no such thing as a decent Muslim person who doesn't pray. In fact, a person who doesn't pray is objectively worse than a liar, backbiter, and whatever else you can name. It is a greater sin than nearly all sins. Not wearing a hijab is also a major sin, it is in fact tabarruj and fisq. It is up there on the same level as the other sins I mentioned in my previous examples (lying, backbiting, etc), and therefore there is no such thing as a righteous woman who doesn't wear a hijab, and we, as believers, are commanded to marry a woman who is righteous - the scholars have ruled as such. Finally, a man who has no issue with his woman not wearing a hijab is a man that unfortunately lacks gheera. What the hijab covers is that which can only be seen by the husband, and a man that is fine with that doesn't care that other men can observe that which only he is entitled to look at exclusively is a clear example of a lack of gheera. One may respond and say "she doesn't wear a hijab but she is dressed quite modestly" but that is in and of itself is contradictory, as there is no such thing as a modest dress in Islam that doesn't include hijab, one must look at not wearing hijab as a form of nakedness instead of what some people wrongly think which is that wearing a hijab is just a more modest way of dressing among other modest ways of dressing. People should stop belittling sins in the name of people's struggles when struggling is something one signs up to once they declare themselves a Muslim and a Mu'min. Some of the first people who believed in the Prophet's message were idol worshippers yesterday, following decades of idol worship by their forefathers, and knew that leaving the religion and culture of their surroundings would cause the worst pain to themselves and their family, and they did so anyway. They were regular people who were brought up on shirk but sacrificed anything anyway, and if such examples are available, how can it be that someone can come today and ask that people accept their "struggle" as an excuse. The only answer is that they have less imaan and taqwa than the others, so why should someone pick them over the others who are better options? That would be nonsensical. Salam.

I have done my schooling both in Pakistan and Australia. It was strictly segregated in Pakistan, but we did have female teachers. In Australia, the school I went to there was no segregation. I preferred the segregated setting, easier to focus on studies and just have general peace of mind. I enjoyed my time more in my schooling in Pakistan.

This is important. There is very big difference between creating or reviving for certain specific circumstance than generally applying the creation of universe or reviving of the creation to Imams (عليه السلام). It can easily to see that Qur'an give examples of Prophets (عليه السلام) performing these as exactly as for specific circumstance.

No Imam chooses his successor. Allah chooses the Imam

Working on it.. Should be better now?

Tomorrow we will start our walk to karbala from duania, wish us luck.

Salam o alykom brothers and sisters. I don’t know to how many people this message will reach but I hope it will reach enough audience so I can get some sincere advice because I am really lost on what to do. I am a 22 year old female who is currently a university student. I am dealing with a mother who is extremely narcissistic, emotionally abusive, controlling and one who sees me as not a creation of Allah who has emotions and needs but rather as a servant that owe her everything simply because she has given birth to me. My mother calls me very disrespectful names and associates attributes to me that I’m even ashamed to mention in here on daily basis. I have dealt with her physical and mental abuse for years. I even attempted Sucide once when I was in last year of high school but thanks to Allah I was given a second chance in life. My mother hates me and my sister and thinks of us as troubles, problems and slaves while she praises and loves my brother. I was never given emotional support or love from her growing up hence I always looked for it in other people and that made my confidence extremely low. During my youth years I made a few mistakes by talking to guys and being in haram relationships because I just wanted to find someone ,get married and get away from my mother and the toxic environment I was in at home. My mother brings out my past sins and mistakes and rubs them on my face on daily basis and she acts so religious at the same time which is so frustrating because sometimes it makes me think of a person can pray this much remember ahlulu bayt this much and push their daughter to sucide it’s better to have a non religious mother who at least have basic human decency. Growing up I have witnessed my mother commit major sins that she might have repented for them now b it because I was young and scared of her I never told anyone. She was never religious and proper hijabi before we moved to the west and she started hanging around religious people. I have witnessed her cheating at my father back when we were home and my father was working in the west and she even killed one of our siblings through abortions without telling my father a couple of years ago. A person who have committed such sins likes to rub my mistakes on my face everyday. She fights me over anything and everything possible . House duties , how I talk to people, what i wear, my weight i mean literally everything. My dad have bought her a house and a car she doesn’t have to work and lives a comfortable life . Yet she still makes it hell for herself and everyone else. She doesn’t perform any of her motherly duties towards me and my sister and we feel like she’s just a step mom to us but a mother to my brother. I clean the house and take care of everything and all she does is cook one meal for my dad per day that’s literally it she doesn’t do any other work in the house . She spends her time going to gatherings with her friends. Shopping and running errands. My dad is aware of her bad character and akhlak and her lack of responsibility but he chooses to remain silent. Because he is sick of fighting my mom over them and he is just too in love with her and sometimes even scared of her. My mother calls me loose woman. loose woman , prostitute on daily basis when I am daughter who’s busy with uni and house chores and this is really pushing me to the edge. I come home form a long day of uni 10-11 hours and still heat my dads food , wash dishes , prepare my brother and dads lunchboxes for tomorrow while my mother is just sitting in her bed in her phone and yet she is still unhappy with me . She insults me in front of her friends and family members and always tell them how incompetent I am when I’m literally doing everything that is expected of her as a mother and as a wife. When she is sick I take care of her, cook for her and take care of the house but when I am sick wallah al azeem she don’t even hand me a glass of water instead she complains about my coughing and sneezing sounds. She has broken my heart so bad and to the point where I have lost all compassion towards her. I am a very caring person and it’s in my nature to love and be nice to people and protect them but after everything she has put me through and continues to put me Through i have literally stoped caring about her . I know in Islam specially shiaism we are to respect parents a lot and be patient with them but what about the rights of children ? Don’t we have rights to be protected loved and respected.? Wallah I have seen people in the street give more compassion to their dog then my mother does to me and my sister. I am thinking of finding a job and become financially Independent and moving out of home and limit as much contact as I possibly can with her but I’m just not sure are we allowed to get our own place of parents don’t give permission? I respect my father a lot and he is the only reason I have put up with my mother this long but if he can’t control his wife and witness her bad akhlak and says nothing he should not be able to question why I choose to move away from them. I have 1 and half years of uni left. Please give all advice you can to me and keep me in your duas. Because I have genuinely given up on my mother. Her bad tongue hurts a lot of other people who are mazlom and quite and don’t have the guts to speak against her and this drives her even more to crush people with her feet. She has lost all respect in eyes of me and my sister and I genuinely hope Allah either guide her or take her away from our lives forever . I’m severely depressed and don’t know what to do.

Salam Brother! I am unable to understand why you become Shia? From your post it appears that you are realizing that you made a wrong decision because strangers are not welcoming you, you probably not get married within western or desi communities etc. If these are the reasons why you turned into Shia, then yes, it would be better for you to stay Sunni. Because a Shia knows that everyone within Arab & Desi communities is not white. A Shia (specifically man) has no problem in marrying a Sunni. Please remind yourself why you turned Shia. It is always difficult to make your place in strange communities. Things can get better with time, all will depend on your personality and akhlaq. These are the two things with which you can attract people towards you. I hope you will try to kill your inferiority complex. Mamy companions of Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) & Imams were black. You will find black in western shia communities as well as Indo-Pak communities. I don't really know after reading your OP what is in your mind! Wassalam!

إنا نحن نزلنا الذكر " أي القرآن " وإنا له لحافظون " عن الزيادة والنقصان والتغيير والتحريف، http://shiaonlinelibrary.com/الكتب/1440_بحار-الأنوار-العلامة-المجلسي-ج-٩/الصفحة_115 Why you continue saying things without knowledge?

آن سیه‌چرده که شیرینیِ عالم با اوست چشمِ میگون لبِ خندان دلِ خرم با اوست That dark-hued beloved, with whom the world's sweetness is, Whose eyes like wine, smiles and a heart full of happiness is. گرچه شیرین‌ دهنان پادشهانند ولی او سلیمانِ زمان است که خاتم با اوست Though there be kings sweet in speech, nonetheless, He is the Sulayman (عليه السلام) of the age with whom the Seal (1) is. رویِ خوب است و کمالِ هنر و دامنِ پاک لاجرم همتِ پاکان دو عالم با اوست Splendid is his face, and perfection of virtue, and immaculateness, Certainly, with him the resilience of the universe's immaculate ones is. خال مشکین که بدان عارض گندمگون است سِرِّ آن دانه که شد رهزنِ آدم با اوست The black mole, which with that wheaten cheek is, With him, the secret of the grain that robbed Adam (عليه السلام) of Paradise is. دلبرم عزم سفر کرد خدا را یاران چه کنم با دل مجروح که مرهم با اوست My beloved resolved to depart on a journey, for God's sake, O friends, What shall I do with a wounded heart, for with him the ointment is. با که این نکته توان گفت که آن سنگین‌ دل کُشت ما را و دمِ عیسیِ مریم با اوست With this piercing, it may be said that that stone-hearted one Killed me, and with him the reviving breath of Isa (عليه السلام) is. حافظ از معتقدان است گرامی دارش زان که بخشایشِ بس روحِ مکرم با اوست Hafiz is from the devotees of his honored house, As salvation to be found with just that honored soul is. Here's a working translation of Hafiz's poem. Eid=e-Zahra (sa) mubarak to everyone.

Yes, it is impossible by reason to prove in invidual level of who was better in status. It is actually very pointless and I don't know what does it bring any benefit. We make no distinction between any of them. Quran 3:84

US Atlantic Coast folks: keep an eye on that storm. Make sure you know how to pray salat al ayat, have any necessary medication, food, and water, and be prepared to evacuate if it becomes necessary. My neighbor's ducks and geese are going crazy today, and I've hardly seen any wildlife. Maybe the animals know something that we don't yet know.

The phrase "by His permission" is commonly used as a get out of jail free card. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) only gives permission to that which aligns with his mashi'ah (will), and there are things which He has given Himself exclusive authority upon. For example, the Knowledge of the Time (Qiyamah) is something not even the Prophet (saww) knows, as clear from the Holy Qur'an. But why is it exclusive to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) only? Why didn't He reveal this knowledge to His Prophet? We don't know, and we don't need to ponder. He claimed exclusive knowledge over it, and therefore we cannot attribute it to any of his creation. The Imams (عليه السلام) themselves have rejected the belief that they were delegated with the creation of the Universe, aswell as it contradicting many of the Verses of the Holy Qur'an, and so we leave it at that, without pondering whether it is a technical possibility or not.

Salam. If there are people there to take care of them, I don't see why you quit your job. Maybe going back to work might help you, not just financially but also to get a little 'break' from your dad. I think it is highly doubtful that your dad at this age will change. You have to make the best of what you have. You are obligated to take care of your parents, but you are NOT obligated to sit with them 24/7 and attend to all their needs and wants. There is nothing in Islam that says you have to do this. If there needs are being taken care of, i.e. they have food, a place to stay, clothing, basic safety and medical care, however that gets done then you have fulfilled your obligation. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) will not punish you and will reward you for 'Bil Walidaye Ihsana' (doing good to parents). If your dad refuses to follow medical and other instructions that are designed to help him then he will have to suffer the consequences of that. You can't shield him from those consequences and trying to will not help you or him. It would be good if you could spend some time with them, but the amount of time you spend depends on alot of other factors. They are not the only obligation in your life. You have an obligation to take care of yourself and your wife and children. If you are not O.K and stable financially, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually you don't have the ability to take care of anyone else. So do that first, then figure out how you can balance that with taking care of parents.

Two more noteworthy things- 1. I don't recall any verse or tradition where angels are described as creating things ex-nihilo. The verses that refer to their delegated duties, refer to them running the cosmic phenomenon by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) 's command- rains, capturing souls at death etc. Running a machine =\= making it. 2. The 'delegation' here is different from what is conventionally understood, in that a. Allah still has complete control over their selves b. He is the source of their ability c. They are under His constant supervision. It is not that the duty has been entrusted to the angels and the rest is up to them. When we delegate some duty to someone, we cannot exercise complete control over them. We cannot take away their ability to perform the duty whenever we please. We cannot supervise them every split second. In short, they are not in our complete control. But this is not the case with Allah and His angels. Ref: Tawhid af'ali.

This debate always seemed a bit redundant to me. The Prophets and the Aimmah are not opposed to one another. In fact they all promote the same message and mission. Therefore I never really understood the relevance of trying to deduce who has a higher status when they are all on the same path and all of their words are equally important to us.

Bismillah, I was going to say almost the same thing. It's not all but some who have the problem. The ones who value their husband and their family over career and make this the first priority I don't think have a problem. When a man talks to a women for marriage it is very easy to tell (for most men) the ones who prioritize their career over family. It is by how they talk and what things they focus on in the conversation and sometimes the demands that they have (but not always). There is something that these sisters don't understand. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is Al Razak (The Provider of Sustenance) and it is the man's who is the channel that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has chosen to bring this rizk to the family therefore it is the man's duty to provide for the family financially. Women sometimes help in this role due to necessity, but if a women, from the beginning before any crisis has happened and before there is any necessity to do this chooses to take that role and bypass the system that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has created then this is a problem. This is showing that she may give lip service to the Islamic idea of the family but she doesn't recognize it in practice. Like I said, this is easy for most men to figure out. The issue of career and work is seperate from education. If the circumstances allow, women should be encouraged to get an education and finish her education. An education doesn't have to mean a career. A career is ok so long as it doesn't interfere with her duties as a mother and a wife but in most career it does. Bosses are very demanding and they don't care and don't recognize the fact that a women has other duties and other responsibilities (i.e. her family). They pay lip service to the idea of family and 'work life balance' but anyone who has been in a career for a while in the West realizes that this is a facade. Bosses don't care about work life balance, they care that the job gets done and meeting their own financial goals, i.e. making a profit for themselves and the company. Men work because they have to and this is their duty and their jihad fe sabilillah. A women's role is different and many women today are confused on this issue.

Israel is a test case for the world as to whether explicit (not implicit) racism and apartheid policies based on racism will be tolerated. I say explicit racism because Israel defines itself as a 'Jewish State', i.e. a state for Jews and noone else. Not for the Palestinians, the native people of that 'State'. Many people don't stop and think about this statement. a 'Jewish State' ? Imagine if the US defined itself as a 'Christian State' (which many Trumpists want to do) or a 'White State', i.e. only for White people. Imagine the International uproar that would happen ? Yet Israel does this and gets a free pass. Amazing to think about. The petro dollar is collapsing, about BRICS being on the rise, not sure yet. Read our recent BRICS thread for more info. and Parents, please read the materials your school sends home. If they start to teach this nonsense to your kids in your school you need to get your kids out of that school. Period. Either home school or find an Islamic or even a non Islamophobic, non Trumpist led Christian School would be better. What you have to understand is that in most schools, the orders come down from the State to the School Board to the School Administration (i..e Principle) and finally are usually imposed on the teachers. Don't put all the blame on the teachers, although they are responsible for implementing it. Most teachers are put in a position that if they get an order from higher up, they either implement it or are fired. The ethical ones would choose to be fired (or quit) rather than implement this, but their not making the policies. The policies are made much higher up. The final and ultimate responsibility for educating the children lies with the parents, and specifically the father. Speaking as a father who put three boys thru their education, fathers you need to step up and make the tough choices, should your children be exposed to this garbage. If you don't know what to do, we can start another thread about alternative Islamic education. I was raised and grew up in California, in the LA area. I loved living there and there are still alot of good things about the area. At the same time, I knew that I wanted children and a family and I knew I didn't want to raise my children in the land of liberal tyranny and the schools there are ground zero for the liberal indoctrination. There were no good Islamic schools at that time (there are a few there now). I had to make a tough choice and leave what I consider to be still my home for the sake of my children. When I came to Dearborn, I knew one brother (brother in Islam, not biological brother, my whole family was still in California). It was a tough choice and not something I wanted to do, but I did it and it turned out better than I expected. As it says in the Holy Quran 'Migrate in the Way of Allah....' and this is an order for those who find their safety, the safety of their family at risk. Only an irresponsible parent would knowingly expose their children to this nonsense.

True, there are many narrations/accounts of the Prophet(SAWS) and the imams(عليه السلام) cooking cleaning and mending shoes and clothes.

And I need to correct my first response by not putting all the responsibility on the girls, boys need to learn to have haya around girls also. I'm not sure why I posted something so "off" :/

Do we have any data on how much danger a hijab actually brings? It's certainly not 0, but is danger the main reason why women nowadays avoid the hijab? I'd think the main reasons are convenience, business, fashion, "fitting in". I'm sure there are parts of the U.S, France, etc. where muhajjiba women are harassed a bit more frequently than others - I don't want to minimize that - but there are similarly dangers to driving a car, living in a city (where crime is higher), eating certain foods, etc. In other words, I don't think the 1% chance of something terrible happening is the major deterrent here. If OP lives in a Muslim country or another diverse place, then danger would be minimal. If a Muslim woman did have to make sacrifices to be able to practice her religion, that is an admirable quality. It's one that I'd want my kids to learn from. I have made plenty of sacrifices for my ideals too. Abraham (عليه السلام) was asked to sacrifice his own son, all of our sacrifices are minuscule in comparison. Like you've mentioned, most of us are just going to pick one person in the end. There is no shortage of muhajjibat in the world, they want husbands too, so the choice is to either go for them (and "reward" their behaviour and their struggle) or try to encourage someone that may have already made up their mind on the subject.

The entire global financial system is based on the dollar. The reason why is because the entire global financial system is based on international trade, i.e. trading goods and services between countries. This is the basis of every economy on earth (maybe with the exception of Iran). In order to keep you economy going, you need a constant flow of imports and exports. For example, most countries import oil. In order to import / purchase the oil they must use dollars to purchase it (petro dollar scheme). This increases the demand for dollars globally and props up its value. Because its value is more stable, relative to other currencies, it is used for a wide variety of trade outside of oil, thus propping up its value even more and stabilizing it even more. In addition, the SWIFT system which processes transactions between banks in different countries is controlled by the US and they can kick a country out of the system (like they did with Iran) making it extremely difficult for that country to conduct trade globally. There have been, in the past and currently (BRICS), attempts to use another form of currency to transact global trade and to get off the SWIFT system because most countries realize that relying exclusively on SWIFT and the dollars gives the US exclusive control over that countries economy. If that country does something the US doesn't like (such as the support of the Lebanese people for Hezb), they will simply start manipulating that countries currency on the global market so that it depreciates relative to the dollar. That will cause panic amoung the people and put an extreme amount of pressure on the govt to change its policies to something more to the US liking.This is how the US controls the world In the case of Lebanon, it is popular support for a group, not a government policy, so there is not much the govt can do about it. It is different in other cases. BRICS is trying to get around this by creating a BRICS currency that will be used by all the countries involved. Collectively, the economies of these countries is larger than the US and the collective military strength of these countries (mostly Russia and China) surpasses the US in many areas. Also the populations of these countries is larger than the US. So they are trying to act as a collective to create a multi polar world (as opposed to a Uni polar world we have now). This may or may not work. It will depend if the countries are willing to cooperate and share power in a real, substantial way, not just make a ceremony and do press releases. We'll have to see. The US govt is watching this very, very closely and if they do issue a currency, the US will do everything, and I mean everything in it's power to convince countries outside of BRICS to not use it and try to sabotage it. They may even start wars to stop it, it is that dangerous to US global hegemony.

My mum never been in Karbala Ziarah (she's old). Make dua to take her to Ziarah at least once.

Salam, Sister. The nightmares could eventually stop, but you might decrease them by saying the Salawat: اللّهُمّ صَلّ عَلَى مُحَمّدٍ وَآلِ مُحَمّدٍ (Allahumma salli `ala Muhammadin wa ale Muhammad) After reading Salawat, then read Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem. Do this every night when you are lying down in bed. Close your eyes and then read one of the names of Allah three times (or read it even more times if it calms you down and allows you to relax and sleep). The eating problem is something you can work on. Whether you eat too much to soothe yourself or you starve yourself to punish yourself, you can stop that. You are an adult now, so you must take care of yourself. You can find a nutritious meal plan that prompts you to eat healthy and halal foods. I like to recommend MyPlate.gov because it teaches people to eat proteins as well as vegetables, fruits and grains. Get a notebook and write down what you will eat and drink for each day. Stick to the plan, especially the serving size you need, then reward yourself for having a good day. Even if it is just a little star you can draw on that page or get cozy and read a few pages in a book, etc. Self harm and suicide are haram, and Alhamdulillah you know that, because you are reaching out to us. Praise Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and ask to help you stay safe from harm (by yourself or someone else). You endured trauma, and the stress from it is causing you mental pain. If you are refusing to see a therapist or counselor, because you don't want your family to know about the sexual assault, that is understandable. You know your family situation better than we do. However, please know that talking to someone who you can trust would help you. Feeling alone in the world with nobody to help you is difficult. When you take care of yourself you will begin to feel better and the assault won't be a daily thing you think about. However, when you are old enough to get therapy without your family's permission, please do it.

So Hz Qasim was anywhere from 13 - 18. How/why does it matter?

The reason is very simple, preference is to be given to a woman who fulfills her obligations over a woman who is known for sinful behaviour, and not wearing a hijab is a form of sinful behaviour. And this goes for any other sin someone is known for really, such as someone who is known not to pray, fast, doesn't pay religious dues, or known for lying, backbiting, and the rest. Furthermore this isn't a gender thing at all, you yourself shouldn't marry a man who is known for sinful behaviour, see the following; 381. Man should give importance to the qualities of the woman he would like to marry. He should not marry except a woman who is chaste, honourable, of good lineage, and righteous. She should be a source of help to him in the affairs of this world and the hereafter. 383. The woman and her guardians should give importance to the qualities of the man she chooses to marry. She should not marry except a man who is religious, chaste, of good character, not a drunkard or someone who commits sins and evil deeds. https://www.al-islam.org/code-practice-muslims-west-sayyid-ali-hussaini-sistani/marriage

Thanks brother for your response. 1. I do not agree to your words for inventing something different. I carry out research in addition to the meaning mentioned in its Arabic text and script nothing beyond the limits defined therein. 2. Thinking on its message does not put a limit to stop at its structured script by using its numerical form or miracle present in it. You might have seen my already presented threads in this forum, that are sufficient for me to carry out this work. I quote one example for the verse of purification from its structured Arabic text and its Numerics: 9. *** آية التطهير *** " إنما يريد الله ليذهب عنكم الرجس أهل البيت ويطهركم تطهيرا" The arabic text provides the evidence that the text has been structured using exactly 14 Alphabets that have dots. The number of alphabets / letters in verse of purification is 47 as mentioned below: ا ن م ا ی ر ی د ا ل ل ہ ل ی ز ہ ب ع ن ک م ا ل ر ج س ا ہ ل ا ل ب ی ت و ی ط ہ ر ک م ت ط ہ ی ر ا. Now we calculate the number of alphabets/letters in the names of Ahl al-Bayt (p) and they are: علي = 3 حروف (ع ل ی) فاطمة = 5 حروف (ف ا ط م ہ ) حسن = 3 حروف (ح س ن) حسين = 4 حروف (ح س ی ن) علي = 3 حروف (ع ل ی) محمد = 4 حروف (م ح م د) جعفر = 4 حروف (ج ع ف ر) موسى = 4 حروف (م و س ی) علي = 3 حروف (ع ل ی) محمد = 4 حروف (م ح م د) علي = 3 حروف (ع ل ی) حسن = 3 حروف (ح س ن) محمد = 4 حروف (م ح م د) المجموع 47 10.- If we carry on and look the Sura number 47 placed in the Quran every one with receptive mind is surprised to know that the name of this Sura is Muhammad .  This is the name of the prophet saw thus confirming that the verse of purification has a central place to exhibit the 14 infallibles including the prophet chosen by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). No one else has this respect and virtues. The above numerical research is based on hadith Thaqlyn and relevant hadith where the names of 12 imams & the daughter of the prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) have been quoted. The Quran has one Sura for explaining the specific concept of Tauheed / oneness of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). This is named as Sura Tauheed / Al Ikhlas, it is placed at number 112. It has 4 verses. The Arabic text of these 4 verses is quoted below:  قُلْ هُوَ ٱللَّهُ أَحَدٌ {١} ٱللَّهُ ٱلصَّمَدُ {٢} لَمْ يَلِدْ وَلَمْ يُولَدْ {٣} وَلَمْ يَكُن لَّهُۥ كُفُوًا أَحَدٌۢ {٤} The separate alphabets of these verses are given below: ق ل ہ و ا ل ل ہ ا ح د۔ ا ل ل ہ ا ل ص م د۔ ل م ی ل د و ل م ی و ل د ۔ و ل م ی ک ن ل ہ ک ف و ا ا ح د۔ And another astonishing truth comes here that sum of letters of these verses is exactly  47 11. Further if we take the letters out of 47 letters used in Sura Tauheed the following letters are used in its Arabic text: ق ل ہ و ا ح د ص م ی ک ن ف The count of these letters without repetition is exactly 13 which is equal to the number of Infallibles including 12 Imams and the daughter of the prophet Muhammad saww Fatima Zahra SA, from the progeny of the prophet. Thus proving the connection of Ahl albaayt AS leading towards the Prophet Muhammad saww for the path leading towards true Tauheed of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). wasalam

Come on!! Who even says that ziyarat e Arbaeen or any of the ziyarat is obligatory (تكليف الشرعي). It has to do much with the مودة of Ahlul Bayt عليهم السلام. Keeping in view the message of Karbala and the sacrifice of Imam Hussain (عليه السلام), has so much importance for us that we believe "Every day is Ashura and every land is Karbala". We remain in need of the lessons taught by the Imam (عليه السلام) everyday, anywhere we may be, to fight with the internal (taghut of nafs) & the external taghut.

Salam. I remember there is a ShiaChat topic that mentions many of the English translations of Ayatullah Mottahari's books.

Salam. What most people don't realize and what I've realized is that happiness comes from relationships not things. If you have a good relationship with Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), with your spouse, family then it doesn't matter what else happens you will be happy. You may not be happy in every moment, because it doesn't work like that. Challenges and bad things happen and then you are down emotionally for a few hours, days, etc, but you will come back up to the baseline level of happiness naturally. It's like a balloon if you put it in a swimming pool. If you put it at the bottom of the pool it will float up naturally without you having to do anything. The focus should be building a good relationship with Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى),family, and neighbors (if possible), and community (if possible). Happiness is the natural product of that.

Every parent should look themselves in the mirror, and ask themselves... Am i overweight? Do i have boderline diabetes? Am i getting proper health checks? Am i eating well? If i have worrying symptoms do i see doctors early? Do i take medications on time? Many let them selves go you kno. Then they get to old age in bad state, and then the kids pick up the pieces. Do not resent them...pray for Allah to make it easy.

As long as the woman can balance out work and family life (while obviously prioritising family first), then it shouldn't be an issue. Sayyeda Khadijah (عليه السلام) did.

I understand what you are trying to say sister, but don’t you think it’s compulsory for both men and women to know how to clean, cook, plant, fix their tyres etc? Here in Middle East school for arab segregated school, they teach girls how to cook, clean, tailor clothes etc while men they teach them how to play sport only. Since we live in new generation, I believe both men and women should learn many things instead of waiting the opposite gender to do it.

There is no necessity for one to be convinced of any Islamic Law in order to obey it. Wearing a hijab for a believing sister is simply just another Islamic Law among many others, where disobedience is sin and obedience is rewarded. The Holy Qur'an states; It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error. [33:36] She should choose to wear it simply because Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has commanded her to wear it, and so that she could seek nearness to Him by following His orders, and she should - yes - wear it out of fear of His wrath. And this is why a Muslim man will most likely prefer a woman who obeys Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) in His commands over a woman who chooses not to, and he would be correct in his judgement aswell as being in line with the rulings of the scholars. Just as a Muslim woman should prefer a man who obeys Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) over a man who doesn't.

The very first result on Google for "Ammar Nakshawani sufism":

This is not her opinion. She is a scientist and speaks to the scientific research that has been done on the topic. I am going to get her book 'Dopamine Nation' and read it and look at the sources. As most of you know, Stanford is a well respected research university known all over the world. I expect her sources to be top notch. I will read though and post more

Tomorrow (Wednesday, September 06, 2023) is Arbaeen in the US and Canada. Condolences. @Lion of Shia

Well guys. I’m 26 days sober, I have a counselor now and I am completely submitting to Allah. Alhamdulliah things are getting better.