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In the Name of God بسم الله

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  2. In my humble opinion, she should have told her husband- to -be about that before the marriage. I don't think major things like having an illegitimate child, being married before, having a criminal record, being infertile, or having an incurable disease ( or a contagious one...like a venereal disease...and yes I've known of cases of all of these being concealed from prospective spouses) are " irrelevant" to a marriage. He or she needs to have a chance to back out of it if they can't handle it. It's not fair they find out about it later. In at least a couple of those cases, in our faith, the aggrieved spouse could challenge the validity of the marriage on grounds of defective consent, etc. in annulment proceedings in the Church. There are some things your partner has a right to know due to problems they could cause in the future. In my experience, adoptive children very often try to find their biological parents. We have folks showing up here or calling the office to try to find their families pretty regularly. With the ease in which people can locate each other these days, I'd say her son showing up if he wants to is a definite possibility. These things can and do cause havoc on occasions. Best to be prepared. She should tell him now. If it's truly " irrelevant" to him, why hide it? Personally, my husband and I didn't want to go into marriage keeping secrets from each other ( the secrets of your friends, neighbors, relatives, students, etc. are a different thing). So we had our " true confessions evening" early in the engagement during which we could ask or tell each other anything. It was probably pretty boring compared to some folks, but we felt great and it made our relationship stronger. Now we've been married almost 35 years and I still don't keep any secrets from him, except maybe what he's getting for Christmas or his birthday. Lol. Just my two cents.
  3. Ya a scholar in Islam. I went to that site filled an application but got no response. Do you know of any other ways to go to Qom and study?
  4. Today
  5. Allahumma salli ala muhammadiw wa Ali muhammadin wa ajjil faraja hum. Astaghfirillah
  6. BowTie

    #41 How to Eat?

    Both. Depends on what you’re eating
  7. Hameedeh

    #41 How to Eat?

    Haha. How can you help? Only at home. If the people I am with pick up their knife and fork in a restaurant, I do the same. Wouldn't want them to be embarrassed to eat with me.
  8. Everyone doing these practices are undermining Shias I am not polite with people who ruin the message of the Ahlul Bayt, and make a mockery out of our religion.
  9. No way someone has asked a jurisprudential question like that
  10. In the US, when a newly elected official is taking the oath of office, if they have a Holy Book, they are free to bring it, but it's optional, not required.
  11. Clearly I never said anything about ignoring them or treating them as lesser humans. I am merely making a distinction of what "friend" entails, and the foolishness one invites into his/her life when they have such a person as a "friend". I provided the definition above so that we could all be on the same page too. Oh well. Not being practicing vs. openly stating God doesn't exist are entirely different. One of my closest friends is a Christian. So yeah that's definitely not what I meant. But to re-iterate, how can you have affection and show love to an atheist when they are openly denying Allah? Loving Allah and loving he who hates Allah makes no sense at all. It's like loving Imam Hussein ((عليه السلام)) and loving the people who attacked him. Can't have it both ways. not sure about Sistani but my marjaa as far as I know certainly does not agree. You can marry them in temporary marriage even in Sistani's rulings I believe so perhaps you misunderstood Sistani about najasa.
  12. Yesterday
  13. and do not follow their inclinations away from what has come to you of the truth. Qur'an 5:48 Obeying in anything that goes against the Qur'an and Sunnah.
  14. فَاَقِمۡ وَجۡهَكَ لِلدِّيۡنِ حَنِيۡفًا ؕ فِطۡرَتَ اللّٰهِ الَّتِىۡ فَطَرَ النَّاسَ عَلَيۡهَا ؕ لَا تَبۡدِيۡلَ لِخَـلۡقِ اللّٰهِ ؕ ذٰ لِكَ الدِّيۡنُ الۡقَيِّمُ ۙ  وَلٰـكِنَّ اَكۡثَرَ النَّاسِ لَا يَعۡلَمُوۡنَ ۙ So direct your face toward the religion, inclining to truth. [Adhere to] the fitrah of Allah upon which He has created [all] people. No change should there be in the creation of Allah . That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know. (Qur'an verse 30:30) So fitrah of human = correct religion= Islam and Qur'an is the manual for Islam.
  15. Careful brother, I don't want people accusing you , a brother who wants to remove these practises from ruining the image of the Ahlul Bayt, as being some sort of agent tactically posting things on here to undermine Shias. There is no doubt people performing Tatbir and other strange acts need to be reminded, politely, by raising the issue and not being bullied into silence, that their practises are directly undermining the truth and beauty of the madhab of ale Muhammed.
  16. Salam, By human DNA, all humans are given by Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) the faculty to distinguish and accept what is right or wrong. That is one of several faculties in every human to ensure that the nafs can survive in this world. Human Nafs has few more faculties such aqal, conscious, sexual, anger,... There is a need to balance up these faculties inside the human nafs. A person maybe influenced on sexual drive, and he has to use his aqal and conscious and correctly to meet his sexual drive. He may misuse his aqal and find justification and ways to rape a girl. So by nature we are able to define and follow what is good and bad, haq and bathil. But we need teachers and books for guidance while we live on the Earth. To ensure peaceful co-existent (Islam or Salam) between human beings (pools of nafs), Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has sent down 124,000 Prophets to guide all of Nafs(humans) that have to live on Earth. 5 messengers came with Books. The final version is Qur'an. So we can read the evidences even though there are no Prophets are physically available now. Since humans also equipped with spiritual components, we are also by nature has a feel to return to our Absolute Rabb of the Universe. The spiritual component will tie the nafs in order to return to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). The spiritual component is the Noor of Muhammad and Ahlul Bayt. They are the Rope of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) that will tie all our Nafs and balance it so that we return to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) in peace.... [Yusufali 3:103] And hold fast, all together, by the rope which Allah (stretches out for you), and be not divided among yourselves; and remember with gratitude Allah's favour on you; for ye were enemies and He joined your hearts in love, so that by His Grace, ye became brethren; and ye were on the brink of the pit of Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus doth Allah make His Signs clear to you: That ye may be guided. The Rope of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has existed from early creation for any Nafs (humans) to hold on or tie to their nafs. Noor of Muhammad and Ahlul Bayt is not cut off from us...it is with us. Hold on to Qur'an and Ahlul Bayt, we will never go astray. Wassalam.
  17. Question: Is it permissible for a Muslim to have a non-Muslim friend? Answer: A Muslim is allowed to take non-Muslims for acquaintances and friends, to be sincere towards them and they be sincere towards him, to help one another in fulfilling the needs of this life. https://www.Sistani.org/english/qa/01186/
  18. This is a fair point. The sister the OP describes never committed to anything. This is one of the dangers when it comes to talking without first making clear the context you are talking is to get to know, and that both parties may be interested - or if it indirectly is clear in that way. On the other hand Rkazmi, many women may talk to men and get close, joke, and build strong friendships knowing the man may be into them but without any interest in going further, which has happened to the OP. However, once she had said she wasn't interested, while I can understand him feeling a little upset at mixed signals sent, he should move on. Many make the mistake not to, and this is where women can't be held responsible.
  19. I don't compare animal sacrifice to Khulafaa (Human beings placed on Earth) who are made to follow Prophet Muhammad (saws) examples and akhlaaq.
  20. I am not saying that OP is creepy like this, but for all the people who are blaming the girl, you should know that many men have no respect for boundaries and they can act entitled thinking they should get every girl they like. I have mentioned before, all the creepy guys become my stalkers and for some reason, I am blamed for giving them wrong signals. That girl is 18-19, thinking about marriage at such young age is scary. Besides, she lives in Pakistan, she probably sees the life of other married women, that's why she is probably scared of marriage and not looking forward to it. Shy and reserved girls give wrong messages to men, while other women who openly flirt, dance, sing, talk with men for hours, why don't they get stalkers?
  21. No, brother, I am sure they don't use it for the oath-taking ceremony. That book was published in 2006. There must be another book or they probably pretend to be Christians.
  22. Or husband .. I think it’s important to be open with your spouse. That doesn’t mean you have to tell them everything you’ve ever done, all the gossip going on in the mosque, when Thurayah says she’ll divorce Ahmed, and so on. But it’s important to be able to be open. I think a good relationship relies on the trust that comes with being open rather than the trust that comes with remaining more secretive. Research suggests that secrets in relationships can lead to a negative effect on mental and physical health. According to Dr.. John Paul Garrison, PsyD, “When we keep secrets or are being deceptive because we think we’ll be rejected by people, it increases the body’s insulin and cortisol, can create heart palpitations and affect the brain.”
  23. Brother, in response to the reply you have given me, here are the parts that have led me to believe this was infatuation, and not love. I am going to explain what is actually going on inside your brain, and why you as a male human being have these thoughts, and why our ancestors did so too. You had never actually spoken to her before this as a regular thing via the phone or text. You had no idea who she was, her values and goals in life, nor did you see her angry, fight, at her worst, nor did the two of you go through any challenge. You had just intermittently texted here and there, and it is very likely in the age of social media that a woman who is 18 or 19 and socially connected has many men after her, in fact, her value at that age is significantly higher than a man her age, and definitely higher than one lower in the marriage market. For you to say after setting eyes on her in real life you knew you had fallen in love is a very common thing men tend to do in your shoes. You built up this image of who you thought she was (even though you didn't know her), and then fell in love with her exterior (you are programmed to seek members of the opposite sex with certain characteristics, including certain types of facial features as a biological drive and that is just lust). Brother, even when you were physically in the same table at the restaurant, you didn't engage in anywhere near enough conversation to even get an idea of who she really was, or build any sort of real connection to claim love, it was just a few sentences here and there. Now I know what you feel you felt seems very real, and you feel you might never meet someone like this again, and you also feel this person is the special person. The term for that is 'oneitis' and it happens to many men brother. This is one of the dangers of talking to a woman who might like the attention and give off signals but have no intention of pursuing it any further. She shouldn't have texted you one to one privately, in the way she did but she is within her rights to say no and for that to be that. There is no contract between you, and that is literally the only thing Islam recognises. Many men , particularly young men go through a phase like this, but it is just your hormones and neurology. Time will weaken those neuronal connections that have built up if you allow them to. I suggest you do the following things: 1. Cut of all contact! There is no such thing as male and females being good friends, especially when one has feelings. Even if she offers it, do not pursue it. 2. You need a life plan as to who you are , what you want, and where you are going, career, mind, body and spirit. Focus on your studies, your future career, your physique, your speech, your social skills, and network with others. The more of you that you build the less you are going to feel the need to seek validation from the affection of another person. 3. Recognise that writing long letters like that as you did to her, someone you didn't really know and was not interested, is a massive turn-off for normal women. Any woman who would respond to that is likely going to have issues and want attention. Women do not want a man who comes across as needy and chases them to that degree in that way. You need to have respect for yourself too , so that when you do find someone, you don't feel the need to chase or get trodden down on. Women biologically want to know a man can protect them and be a rock, emotionally and physically, as well as financially too if possible. They will often throw tests, and you might find they argue or challenge you, and you shouldn't be someone callous and rude, but you need to be assertive and fair. Now, if you are chasing someone in the manner you are, and basing your happiness on them wanting you and their validation to that degree, you are far less likely to stand up for yourself when appropriate and when the time comes. In three years time, you can build your career/education, body, social network, resilience, skill-set, and life to such a high level compared to now, you will attract higher quality women who will want you and may be serious to be with you. You won't be left with time-wasters or dead-ends , nor will you be the kind of man who will ever chase someone in this way. I tell you this because I care brother.
  24. I can't be soft about this sorry. All this lovey-dovey replies are not needed. Get a grip man, you're still young you'll find a lot of women. You barely even know her to fall in love with her. She probably sees you as her "little cousin". She doesn't want to be with you. Thats life. Deal with it. Thats the least of your problems in life.
  25. What book do atheists use?
  26. Love means truly accepting and respecting someone and their views and beliefs and everything that makes them unique to everyone else in the world. Did you know her to such an extent? I'm not denying or belittling what's going on with you, but maybe reserve the description "love" for someone who you might think really does fit it in the future.
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