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Social/Family/Personal
Discuss personal, family, marriage, cultural, or social issues.
19,938 topics in this forum
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Last reply by Hameedeh, -
feeling fake after cosmetic surgery
by Guest naturelistener- 1 follower
- 2 replies
- 12 views
Salam'aleykum. About a month ago I've underwent cosmetic surgery, the surgery i'm talking about is a rhinoplasty (nose surgery). I was severely unhappy with my side angle since in my early teen years, now I'm in my early twenties and I finally went for it. The surgeon shaved down my bump, so my side profile is now straight. I've done it because I was self conscious about it, it affected my mental health a lot. I would always place a hand in front of my nose when passing by strangers, when I laughed I would place my hand before me mouth/nose so no one saw my side profile, when meeting new people I was anxious about the fact that they also taught my nose looked ridicul…
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- 2 followers
- 0 replies
- 8 views
Some notes: THIS IS NOT A REAL-LIFE SCENARIO; I JUST WANT TO KNOW THE GENERAL PREFERNCES FOR THIS This poll is anonymous Scenario: -In this scenario, working means a standard 9-5 job for 7 days a week which earns sufficient money for the whole household and covers expenses such as insurance, rent/mortgage, clothes, food, water, gas, electricity, petrol, household items, Wi-Fi, phone bills, school items etc… -Cooking and cleaning also involves jobs such as laundry, ironing, vacuuming, dropping off and picking up the children at school, taking care of the children after school while the working spouse is at work etc… -Also, on the weeken…
Last reply by Vindemiatrix, -
People who become Shia, please share your stories.
by Guest asker- 2 followers
- 14 replies
- 262 views
please tell me your story how did you became Shia , and what is the most thing that really makes you become Shia.
Last reply by Ashvazdanghe, -
Normalization of Sin in Society and Culture
by Guest AskingAnt- 1 follower
- 3 replies
- 50 views
Recently I read an article on how grievous sins are becoming normalized and accepted in society at an alarming rate, especially with Western influence. Although the author of the article was Christian, I agreed with his point that we have been abandoning our sense of morality and piety and choosing to fulfill personal desires rather than our duties as decent human beings. Our generation has become infatuated with obtaining more and more liberty to do what their heart feels like, whilst shrugging away more of our responsibilities in order to live a more casual life driven by human wants and lusts. While humans have been granted the ability to live life as we choose by God,…
Last reply by Mahdavist, -
Sadness
by Guest Fatema- 2 followers
- 6 replies
- 136 views
Salams I am over 30, and still not married. Over the time, my friends have their family life and very little time for me. I've pray very hard to get confort from Allah. But I've gone thought a lot these past years and today i feel very lonely and lost. I am very sad about my situation, i don't really have family around me beside my mum. I cry a lot during days and nights and i have insomnia issues. I feel like my life is worthless. I ve pray a lot lately but i didn't find peace of mind If some of you have advise or are struggling like me , please share... Thanks a lot
Last reply by ShiaofAli12, -
- 2 followers
- 9 replies
- 228 views
Salam alaikum, inshaAllah all are well. So from an Islamic point of view, bibi Fatima sa did housework and Imam Ali as and bibi Fizzah helped her. Nowadays, men from different cultures have said "women belong in the kitchen"! This is one of things I wrote in relation to this absurd belief. I'm neither a feminist nor pro men. I am in the middle. It is NOT compulsory for a women to slave away doing all the housework, being stuck in the kitchen all day and being expected to look after all the children. Yes if a man works its understandable she should help too. But a woman deserves freedom, love and equal share in the housework! she can work if sh…
Last reply by Robin, -
Important Question Answer Only with Ref
by Guest Rahbar Ali- 0 replies
- 47 views
Salam Ya Ali (عليه السلام) Madad I want to ask a serious question its matter of life and death ? One of my friend love her cousin and got engaged with her. unfortunately He and she did sex now they want to get marry after Month of safer ? Please tell me with reference will there nikah be valid ? is there any kufara for this sin ? Will he be clean of his SIN after marrying her ? what is fatwa of mujtahedeen about this matter ?
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How do I learn to cry for Ahle-bait
by Guest AskingAnt- 1 reply
- 32 views
"I am the martyr of tears. No man of faith remembers me, but that he weeps." Imam Hussain ((عليه السلام)) I want to be able to cry for Imam Hussain ((عليه السلام)) and the Ahlebait but I have a lot of trouble empathizing with them. When I hear about their masaib/tragedies in majalis, I do feel bad for them but the tears don't fall from my eyes, while all around me there are men weeping into their hands and into handkerchiefs. Will listening to more majalis and recounts help or is there something on a personal level that is blocking me from fully empathizing. Please share advice.
Last reply by Mahdavist, -
I feel that I need to be around Shia
by Guest guest- 1 follower
- 0 replies
- 44 views
What I mean is that I have very few friends and they are Shia but they all from my city , and I want to get to know different people from around the world who are Shia, when I knew that there was Shia from some countries I was surprised, so I want to make friends who are Shia and talk with them about daily life based it on our religion online and also to practice my English , with the difficulty with this life talking with Shia really makes me feel better. So how can you find Shia from around the world and talk with them using your voice online. I said voice because it makes you know the person better.
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- 4 followers
- 74 replies
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Salam, I am very angry, and annoyed and all the negative emotions you could think of. I don't want pity, i just want to get my point across to all the men out there who think they're all up there in society. Like I could write a 10 page article and it still won't be enough. It absolutely disgusts me. Almost every day in the community I am surrounded in, I have to hear stories of crappy husbands and divorce. Who treat their wives like maidens, marry other women without their knowledge, refuse to help them and their children, talking to other women online, shaming and belittling their wives, controlling and being impulsive, restricting them and i can just go on and o…
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- 1 follower
- 0 replies
- 48 views
I think I'll stick with the desi version:
Last reply by Haji 2003, -
Compromise - Where do you draw the line?
by Guest Space- 7 replies
- 127 views
Is it possible to be equally invested in someone as well as your personal goals? If you start getting to know a suitor, but also have a few goals in mind you would like to achieve, what do you do? I have lost many years of valuable study to the wrong person in the past and invested a great deal of energy on a horrible marriage. This stagnated me a lot and I have now decided to make up for those years. However, I have also reached an age where I want to start a family. Is it reasonable for me to impart to suitors that I am very goal-oriented and would like to achieve so-and-so before having kids? Or am I meant to compromise on my personal goals if I genuinely see …
Last reply by slavelight, -
- 2 followers
- 1 reply
- 67 views
I was voted to function as an imam to a revert congregation that doesn't exist any more. I was appointed with the understanding that I had no education and was a new revert myself. I went as far as becoming legally ordained to preform marriages. I wan't to go back to it and find a new congregation, with some education but the courses I see require me learn arabic and I'm having a hard time doing it. I can't enroll if i know I'm probably going to fail the course. I want some rudimentary to intermediate level skill in reading and speaking msa before I begin a paid course so I know I'm not going to fail. What are your suggestions for learning. I literally know just 3 words o…
Last reply by Abu Hadi, -
- 3 followers
- 1 reply
- 88 views
I have just read these 2 articles. They are about massacres and atrocities committed by Greeks and Turks against each other. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massacres_during_the_Greek_War_of_Independence Now, there is a big question in my mind. How can a large number of people simultaneously become such cruel and savage? If these atrocities were committed by only a small percentage of people, then we would say "well there are always some bad people everywhere". But here, and in most similar cases occured during the history, the vast majority of soldiers became extremely cruel and bloodthirsty and this is not normal. Now, what do you think? Why did the…
Last reply by Meedy, -
- 15 replies
- 16.4k views
salaam bro and sis i hope you're all doing fine..so i just wanted to ask.. does zina has forgiveness? cause isnt zina i.e. fornication/adultery with known consent like a major sin? also, what if a person had done it earlier, done tauba, than after a few years does it again, but like he knows its zina but stil does it and feels guilty at the same time while doing it but just cant stop? and suddenly, bam something happens,. it stops him from committing fornication but his guilt just increases so much that its unbearable?! plz answer. i feel like im not being forgiven, and that the second time was my azmaaish/trial and i just failed. its a bad feeling and feel like breaking …
Last reply by Maisam Haider, -
- 2 followers
- 31 replies
- 3k views
SourceHere is what these scientists have found: As you see the african-america community is hung out as dumb. Their IQ being 15points below that of a white man. The ashkanazi jews also seem to have unbelievable results (superhigh) and apparently this is because of the key positions they held in the 1800s etc. The reason I started this topic is merely because I had an interesting discussion about this today. I feel that the people I see around here today (no matter age) are not ready to receive information about genes and intelligence (not that i trust the information to be fact but let's act gullible here :!!!: ) Do you think race & IQ should be studied further? Is t…
Last reply by Northwest, -
- 6 followers
- 14 replies
- 380 views
As salamu alaykum I currently fall into the category where it’s obligatory for me to marry. Im 16 years old, I don’t know what to do, the USA isn’t a Muslim majority country so it’s hard to find a spouse. And even if I found a spouse would the father let me marry his daughter when I’m 16..... most likely not. Someone give me some advice, Jazakallah
Last reply by Mark Enlightment, -
- 3 followers
- 12 replies
- 191 views
Damn, it has been ages since I have been on this site. How are people? What are people doing? Is it finally time for me to become chat mod [shout out to those who remember those days].
Last reply by S Hussain, -
Struggling with Uncertainty
by Guest Uncertain- 3 replies
- 70 views
Salam everyone, I just wanted to vent and seek your prayers and advice here as I am really struggling. As a person who really values structure and order in life, I feel like I have been thrown into a state of extreme uncertainty this past year. I was previously married to a very abusive person and my divorce took place during my final semester of university. Studying is a big deal for me and I feel like I am unhealthily invested in manifesting my academic goals, so much so that I feel absolutely worthless if I’m not working on them, which has been a big problem. After university, I poured my heart and soul into actualising my dreams, all while healing from …
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- 2 followers
- 5 replies
- 102 views
I have this big problem of mine, where I find myself angry and unforgiving at even the slightest offenses. Like, for example if somebody put my thing in the wrong place, or said something inapropriate, I have a very difficult time to let these trivial things go. Even though rationally speaking, these small things aren't worth pondering on. Even if the person in question apologizes and makes amends for it, my heart and emotions is still angry, even though I know that the person has sincerely apologized. And usually, if I offend other people, they usually just tell me straight, I apologize and it's over. But for me, even when the person apologize, I still continue to berate…
Last reply by Abu Hadi, -
Why can't we have proper conversations anymore?
by Guest SlightlyFrustratedHuman- 3 replies
- 84 views
Why is it so hard to have an actually thoughtful conversation about opinions with other people now? Sometimes I try to engage in conversations with my peers about societal norms and general culture, but more often than not they try to ward off from discussing it by saying that we don't have a right to judge other people's preferences and cultures because everyone has a right to live the way they want. It feels frustrating that we can't share our opinions, whether positive or negative, about certain topics which have nowadays been deemed irrefutable and thus taboo to even argue against. As a small example, having a discussion about the LGBTQ and how we personally feel abou…
Last reply by Meedy, -
- 1 follower
- 6 replies
- 89 views
I want kids eventually any good books about parenting from a muslim perspective. I don't have any but I would like to learn about how handle a family when I do. Books about how to be a husband and father are what I'm interested in.
Last reply by Zane Ibrahim, -
Did the imams give their daughters to men from different nationalities?
by Guest Niceplace321- 2 followers
- 5 replies
- 166 views
I had an argument with my mother about interracial marriages. I was telling her about how the imams married from different nationalities. She said give me an example of the imams daughters getting married to a man from a different nationality. Does anyone know anything to answer this? And can you please pray for my parents conservative mind to change?
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- 2 followers
- 29 replies
- 405 views
Salam Alaykum, Here is a fatwa from Sayed Sistani regarding attending mixed classes - all kinds of martial arts. Some people seem to think that it is alright for men to attend these classes but female can't. It is clear from the below fatwa that we can't look or interact with them in the class - which seems close to impossible. Question: Salam Alaykum, I have recently signed up for martial arts (boxing) for fitness purposes. Majority of the boxing class has male members, however there are one or two females who also attend. I maintain my distance with them and don't come into contact with them. I want to know whether it is permissible for me to a…
Last reply by ali_fatheroforphans, -
- 2 followers
- 6 replies
- 85 views
I've read about people becoming arabized when they convert to Islam and assimilating into arab culture and taking arab names. I've heard some people even Identify as arab just because the adopted the language. Is it cultural appropriation witch I define as the stealing of someones cultural practices without the consent of the people who belong to that culture. I do not consider assimilating and adopting practices with the consent of the original people appropriation or a negative thing If arabs choose to accept and adopt people into there culture thats perfectly fine. Not all arabs are genetically the same some look like white people to me maybe there ancestors where arab…
Last reply by Ashvazdanghe, -
marriage advice from elders
by Guest jawib- 2 followers
- 6 replies
- 147 views
Saalam! I would need some advice regarding marriage from experienced and elders. I am not young year old, i find a good woman in another country her family also good. i want to marry her. it will take about 1.5years to 2 years to bring her here becase we live diff countries and migration problem. How am i to stay chaste during this time? please dont give stupid advice, how much i occupy myself, eat less, lower my gaze i still have high libido. it gets to a point were it really affects my mood, i get lazy unmotivated and depressed because i cant release "energy" i dont also want to do segha temporarily marriage because then my wife maybe will not want m…
Last reply by Maisam Haider, -
Ending a Mut'a for permanent
by Guest Kb36- 4 followers
- 16 replies
- 399 views
Salam to Everyone, I have engaged in a Mut'a for almost 3 years now. She is a Christian woman. She has been a really good person and supportive in the time we have been together. I was going through a very rough time when we met. My usual support, which is family all ditched me except this woman. I lost so much during that time, yet she kept me in the most positive spirits. Alhamdulilah, I've found myself closer to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) than I have ever been and the next stage for me now is to permanently marry and start a family. This is something that I can't do with her. She says we can continue renewing our Mut'a till forever but the truth is I wa…
Last reply by Meedy, -
- 2 followers
- 4 replies
- 185 views
Aoa everyone, You may not know me, but I made a post a few years ago concerning my father. Well, yesterday things took a turn for the worst after a couple of peaceful months. An argument between my parents got out of hand where my father wouldn't let go of a topic and my mother after hearing it about it endlessly lost her patience and yelled at him, and he got physical (or maybe he was just scaring her since he'd done stuff to scare but never really pull something off the past year or so) with a stick in his hand. I had stopped intervening in all their fights but this was too far and I only got in between to take the stick away. Did not speak one word, did not yell…
Last reply by slavelight, -
- 1 follower
- 4 replies
- 115 views
https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2021/7/12/iran-unveils-islamic-dating-app-to-encourage-marriage
Last reply by Diaz,
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For us, the Qur'an and the sunnah are the reference. If the prophet ((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)) says I leave behind the Quran and the Ahlulbayt, then we follow them, we don't ask why there isn't a surah about it or why Imam Ali (عليه السلام) didn't write it in a letter.
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By Guest Shadey · Posted
Curiously the salah and all its details from sunnah. The question is when did Ali ra say it HIMSELF!!! I’ve realised this question as well as any evidence of clear divine Imamate from Quran is a never straight forward answereable question instead look at the reply by a brother above……..instead of using the Quran as criterion he uses an ambiguous hadith and is trying his best to correlate it with a Quranic verse. This is why our shia brothers have a hard time debating a Sunni. Honestly you need to overcome this if you are gonna stand up to answering questions relating to divine leadership. -
By Mohamad Abdel-Hamid · Posted
Salaam, As brother @Mahdavist mentionned, the sermon of Shiqshiqiyyah clearly shows that Imam Ali (عليه السلام) said that : "my position in relation to it (the caliphate) was the same as the position of the axis in relation to the hand-mill." and "I watched the plundering of my inheritance till the first one went his way but handed over the Caliphate to Ibn al-Khattab after himself." Also in sermon 172 (during the Consultative Committee, after the death of the 2nd caliph) he says: Someone said to me, "O' son of Abi Talib, you are eager for the caliphate." Then I told him: "Rather, you are, by Allah, more greedy, although more remote, while I am more suited as well as nearer. I have demanded it as my right, while you are intervening between me and it, and you are turning my face from it." That's curious, I also don't see any explicit Qur'anic verse where the numbers of rak'as are mentionned, yet it's universally accepted that it's 2, 4, 4, 3 and 4. I wonder where we got those numbers from... Oh, that's right, from the hadiths ! Likewise, the hadiths tell us that certain Qur'anic verses state the Imam Ali (عليه السلام) should be obeyed, and the famous verse: الْيَوْمَ أَكْمَلْتُ لَكُمْ دِينَكُمْ وَأَتْمَمْتُ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعْمَتِي وَرَضِيتُ لَكُمُ الْإِسْلَامَ دِينًا is a reference to Ghadeer, where the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) announced that Imam Ali (عليه السلام) was the mawla of every Muslim, so every Muslim should obey him after the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) passes away. -
By Guest naturelistener · Posted
I hope with time I'll get used to it and it will feel normal to me. I do like the result, but something is holding me back from liking it. I hope this feeling will also resolve over time. -
By 313_Waiter · Posted
I have been heard some people use this argument against Islam where they say the Qur’an is supposed to be the final guide for all of humanity and yet it contains many redundant details that shouldn’t be in “the final guide for all of humanity”. Some verses they claim are useless include: [33:53] O you who believe! do not enter the houses of the Prophet unless permission is given to you for a meal, not waiting for its cooking being finished-- but when you are invited, enter, and when you have taken the food, then disperse-- not seeking to listen to talk; surely this gives the Prophet trouble, but he forbears from you, and Allah does not forbear from the truth And when you ask of them any goods, ask of them from behind a curtain; this is purer for your hearts and (for) their hearts; and it does not behove you that you should give trouble to the Messenger of Allah, nor that you should marry his wives after him ever; surely this is grievous in the sight of Allah. The verse where the Qur’an “could have said” that marrying your adopted son’s wife is halal instead of ordaining the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) to actually marry Zaid’s wife: [33:37] And when you said to him to whom Allah had shown favor and to whom you had shown a favor: Keep your wife to yourself and be careful of (your duty to) Allah; and you concealed in your soul what Allah would bring to light, and you feared men, and Allah had a greater right that you should fear Him. But when Zaid had accomplished his want of her, We gave her to you as a wife, so that there should be no difficulty for the believers in respect of the wives of their adopted sons, when they have accomplished their want of them; and Allah's command shall be performed. This verse in Surah Tahrim talking about either the “honey incident” (mentioned in Tafsir Pooya) or the “maria al qibtiyyah” incident in which the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) is said to have been with his wife Maria while Hafsa was gone out, for her to return and be mad that he did this “on my day and only my bed!”, and him to take an oath that he shall never sleep with Maria again. [66:1] O Prophet! why do you forbid (yourself) that which Allah has made lawful for you; you seek to please your wives; and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. Also details of who the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) can and cannot marry from 33:50-52. Essentially the argument being made is that these verses are useless. Of course, as Muslims we believe that every letter is meaningful within the Qur’an, and so I was after some guidance on how to respond to such claims, especially with regard to the above verses I have quoted. Barakallah Fik
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