You're awake at night, in a deep dark suspense. Not a pindrop of sound. You face upwards towards the ceiling, trying to think about God, but everytime you do, the devil makes his way into your head. You feel frustrated, anxious, and devastated; wondering how can you stop him from getting inside your thoughts. How do you continue to keep that connection with your Lord without him trying to distance yourself from faith?
For nearly five years, I suffered from a common condition as to what we know as OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I never knew what it first was until I was around 15 and found out that it can even be genetic (from my father's side). It was really difficult and coming from a religious family, things became more complicated. Later onwards, I realised that God is not a strict being, nor does he want our religion to feel complicated - and yet we are the ones who complicate it for ourselves. Alot of people especially within my culture make it seem like Islam is somewhat forceful and harsh. The sad truth is, some corrupt leaders have represented our religion in such a way that contradicts to what it originally was 1400 years ago.
I don't only blame terrorist groups for portraying a terrible image of Prophet Muhammad's teachings, but our own community has also failed us. We are surrounded by blindness and ignorance yet its hard for us to realise that until we ourselves choose to divert in the path of seeking the true knowledge. However, alot of prideful humans will cease to believe the truth even if it was witnessed before them. Their arrogance is more worthy than divine knowledge.