I do not know
How I must beg, I do not know,
Now I've learnt to let these tears flow,
For I've begged you and with you I've pleaded,
And maybe your nearness, some others have needed,
But you know who I am and you know what I need,
Is it the pain when I feel my heart bleed?
Tell me how to beg, for I do not know,
How do I see your golden dome glow?
My tears have been shed and my soul has felt sorrow,
And desperation has set for news of tomorrow,
And disappointments of which I have lost count,
Aren't these reasons enough? Too small in amount?
But how I must beg, I do not know,
So now I beg you to teach me and show.
To your love, I've submitted, for how can one not?
And of my life's story, I've made you the plot,
I've discarded of any beginning or end,
For I know that my heart, only you can mend,
But to beg you better, I just don't know how,
A lifetime's attempts and in shame, I still bow.
Regarding my worth, I will not speak,
For in you and your service, my own worth, I seek,
But tell me what in my pleading is wrong,
Is the pain in my love for you not strong?
I will not ask you, from me, what you want,
For what king can gain from his servant's servant?
All I ask is, my emptiness you understand,
My craving to weep on Karbala's sand,
The heavenly walk, baynol haramayn,
To shout with the millions, "Labbaika ya Hussain",
To drown in your love and to die in that state,
Be worthy of smelling the scent of your gate,
To look up into your once-red, blue sky,
And have no sense but to helplessly cry,
In awe of your beauty and the fact that I'm here,
In the hope that I might return in a year,
And the realisation that this isn't a dream,
Blinded by this love and your dome's golden beam,
The heat of the sun striking all those in black,
To walk towards your shrine and never look back,
Relive your sorrow and make it my own,
Watch your black flag in the wind, being blown,
To feel a long-lost peace in my heart,
Forgetting that from here, we'll all once depart,
Engrave these memories deep in my soul,
For my emptiness to fill, making me whole.
And for the rest of my life, to live on these tears,
If you'd just end the waiting I've done for these years.
Allahumma irzoqni ziyaratel Hussein ((عليه السلام).)
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