I have two wedding invitations in front of me and a whole lot of thoughts going in my head. One is from a pre wedding party of a school friend. I talked about her here briefly
To add a few more details, she got divorced after 8 or so years of marriage, no kids. Her ex got remarried within 2 months of divorce, not sure but probably this could be the reason behind the divorce. It's been just a year since they divorced and now she is marrying this Christian guy. After advice from my fellow SCers I asked her to reconsider, but then there is this invitation now. The response from the rest of the group surprised me, everyone was going oooh and aaahh and congrats and best wishes and asking about her honeymoon plans. I believe that quiet a few of my school friends are practicing Muslims, the kind who regularly attend and organize Islamic gatherings. Maybe they felt the same as me but didn't speak up like I did.When I talked to her about a month back, she was obviously uncomfortable with the conversation.I wanted to tell her that it hadn't even been a year and she should wait and eventually Allah will send a suitable Muslim man in her life.
Then there is this second wedding invitation. It is from a coworker. I have known him for more than 10 years, early 40s, two kids, unhappily married(separated) and looking for a second wife. He had been introduced to no less than a dozen divorced girls in our work and social circle in the last two years but none of it went beyond the initial introductions.I didn't understand at the time why. All the girls,and I knew a few of them personally, seemed good matches; good looking, pleasant disposition, educated, perfectly capable of becoming good wives ... but as I read the name of the bride I suddenly understood why.She is an old student of mine and his,who changed departments to come and work very briefly with us,18 years his junior,never married before read: virgin. The last two 'qualities' have apparently made him overlook the stark difference in their intellectual and maturity levels, which is so significant that everyone is commenting on it. He is someone whom all of us believed to be a notch above the rest when it came to maturity, principles and moral values but he made the same decision as the regular run of the mill divorced single dad working in the next department made when he married a 9 years his junior previously unmarried girl.................................................................................................................................. which makes me think would it have been practical advice to tell my friend to wait and eventually she would find a Muslim man to marry????
(please let's not start a polygamy battle here, they have come to the mutual decision of separating after years of unhappiness, she didn't ask for divorce and he has no plans to hand it to her and is taking care of her financially)