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Iddah


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#1 postmaster1923

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Posted 16 July 2005 - 11:07 AM

(bismillah)
(salam)

As I understand it, the reason a woman observes Iddah after termination of a marriage is so that the paternity of any child will be clear. It seems like a good idea anyway, so that she has time to get over the old relationship before moving on to another. It probably would be a good idea for men too, although it clearly isn't required.

What happens if a woman is in her Iddah, and the man she was married to marries another woman, and that other woman requires monogamy of him, and the first woman turns out to be pregnant? (He can't remarry the first woman, can he?) Obvoiulsy, the man is the father, and would have rights to the child, but does the woman have rights to support during and after her pregnancy, if she is unable to support herself, and no other man wants to marry her? And does the man continue to support his child and/or his former wife after the birth of the child?

#2 Hajar

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Posted 16 July 2005 - 11:53 AM

(salam)

The rules for this would vary. If the divorce was ruju, the one initiated by the man, then he has to support the wife until she delivers the child. Afterwards, he has to support the child, the child is his responsibility. The wife is only his responsibility until the iddah is over. When she is pregnant, the iddah lasts until the delivery of the child.

If the divorce is khula or mobarat, then the only responsibility is to the child. He doesn't have to support the wife during the iddah, he just has to support the child.

If his wife is in the iddah of a revokable divorce (raju) then he can't really marry someone with a monogamy clause, until the iddah is over. That divorce isn't finalized until the iddah is over. So he would be in a sort of polygamous marriage, until the iddah of the first wife is over.

See the rules of divorce, in the risalah of your marja taqlid. My answers are based on the rules of Sayyid Seestani.

WaSalaam, Hajar

#3 Hajar

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Posted 16 July 2005 - 05:35 PM

(salam)

If the marriage was a mutah, it is finished when the contract ends. That's similar to the irrevokable divorces of khula and mobarat, in this respect. He wouldn't have any responsibility to the woman, but would have responsibility to any children born during the iddah. This iddah too, would last until she gives birth.

The man is not responsible to provide for the mother of the child, once the iddah is over. He is no longer married to her, or mahram to her, therefore there is no responsibility on him for her. Only in the iddah of the ruju divorce, is he still mahram during the iddah. That is because in this one, he can take her back during the iddah. In the other iddahs he would have to remarry her. So during the iddah of ruju divorce, he would have to maintain her. But not in the case of the other divorces, or the termination of mutah.

The mother can ask for money for breastfeeding the child, or even for taking care of the child. The man can take the child into his own custody, if the amount she asks for is excessive. But the man doesn't have to support her once they are no longer mahram. If we think about it, why should he, he is not her husband and is not getting any benefit from her.

WaSalaam, Hajar

#4 rambo

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Posted 20 July 2005 - 09:34 AM

......there is a fine line between supporting a mother and supporting her infant. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>



Comments;
Iddah is not only the concern of the unborn but also the mother. But the use of contraceptives seems to be able to side-step the issue of the rights of the unborn and iddah shall only be to limit the number of times a woman can practice mutaah or polyandry. Usually the mahr in a mutaa is much higher than a permanent marriage, to take into consideration costs of an unborn child and maintenance. Smiley, in Islam, mahr plays an important role towards equitable outcome. That's why it is wajib. And it is one of the ways you can prevent men from polygamy, say seven years down the road when the 7 year itch comes. Again compensation is the function of mahr in Islamic marriage. Without mahr, the woman opens up her life to inequitable circumstances. Mahr is viewed as something redundant by westerners / societies where women makes more bucks than men.

Quote;
Iddah is referred to in the Koran as one of the women other men can't marry - temporarily. After iddah, she can remarry mutaa or permanent.

Reminder;
Allah Subha na Wa Taala Knows best. Pray to HIM for enlightenment. But if you seek to champion your own cause, HE will grant your wish in more ways than you had hoped for.

And also,
Please Don't accept unsourced replies and always double check sources. When in doubt, please consult your scholar.

Edited by rambo, 20 July 2005 - 09:49 AM.


#5 Hajar

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Posted 21 July 2005 - 03:57 PM

^Right, but there is a fine line between supporting a mother and supporting her infant.  If she is the source of food and protection for the child, and if she were unfed, the child would starve too.

Sis Hajar, you say she can ask for money for breastfeeding, but she can ask anybody for anything.  Is the man obligated to give it?  What is considered excessive?  More than the cost of formula feeding, or more than the amount he wants to pay?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>



(salam)

Excessive is more than is usual for a wet nurse. We don't have that many here, so I'm not sure how much it is.

WaSalaam, Hajar



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