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sarah khadem

Marriage and truth advice please

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Asalamu Alaykum,

I would like advice on a issue which had recently happened in the family. My cousin (Male) and his family went to ask for the hand of another relatives daughter who live in Iraq. Those individuals have no idea about who my cousin really is and the things that are wrong with them as well as the good and the bad points about him. Instead of telling the truth, my aunty had gone and told them most of the false information in regards to my cousin and so believing in what my aunty had said they accepted to give her. After their engagement party I was approached by the girl, her brother and her parents as they had began to see the negative side of my cousin and they wanted to know the truth about who he really is. 

This is where there main part of this post is. I had decided to tell them everything truthfully about my cousin as I put Allah in front of me in a situation like this where I know that if this girl was to live with them she would not be having a great life due to my cousin and his father. I spoke to them about everything I know about him and now they are planning on cutting all ties and ending the relationship. Did I do anything wrong? was I supposed to tell them the truth even though my aunty did not? 

Also now my aunty found out that they know everything but she doesnt know that it was me who had told them everything? I dont want to get myself into further problems so i dont know, should I tell her that it was me or not?

Sorry for this long post 

Jazakum Allah Khair 

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The ruling on this subject is that it is haram to talk about what you know about someone's bad points (that is gheeba). The one exception that I know of is when it comes to someone inquiring about marriage to that person. And the potential groom / bride is the one asking. 

You should limit what you say to things your cousin does which is outside the Sharia (i.e. haram). If he does haram, and you know for sure (i.e. you didn't just hear from someone else) , and it is the bride herself, and she is inquiring with the serious intention of marriage, then you should tell her. She has the right to know in that case. 

Edited by Abu Hadi

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