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Asalamalakum Brothers and Sister,

 

I was married to a Sunni man in my very early 20's however we did separate two years after due to a variety of issues. I am happy to say i have spent a number of years happily single raising my two children.  I have had offers for marriage but i was not interested therefore declined all of them. However I did meet someone by chance and we are engaged and i am very much in love and very excited to spend our lives together. This being my second marriage I want to make my own conditions for the Nikah contract, my previous contract was done via my father and it took me 2 years in court to actually be able to Divorce because the way the contract was drawn up and i received no Mahr at all and still receive no financial help for my two children because I am raising them Shia and he does not approve or support this.

Mahr for me isn't very important, this is a real love thing, but i do want to be smart about the conditions, My future husband is from Qatif, Saudi Arabia. He has never been married before, and he does plan to eventually move us all from Canada (where i was born and raised) to Saudi Arabia to live and manage businesses. I want to make sure i am protected and am still able to attend university again if i wish or work. I do not accept a second wife so i want to include that as well, and i want to make sure i am still able to travel freely with my two children and any children he and i have with out having to receive his "permission" (as far as i know i would require that) in order to fly from Saudi Arabia. 

 

I am asking you all to help me make conditions you might think are important or beneficial for my Nikah contract.

 

 

Thanks

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1 minute ago, Haimid said:

Assalam.

Saudi Arabia For Shia'a woman with 2 children? No Thanks:-)

i am speaking about Qatif, which is Shia area. Also i don't believe my two children from my previous marriage should be an issue since both he and his family accept and respect them.

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Salaam Alaykum

I don't know what conditions you want to put on your marriage, but make sure it is fair to you and your husband. Make sure if you're husband changed later, you have right to get out of the situation IF you believe marriage cannot be fixed after countless attempt(put divorce out of your dictionary). Moreover, make sure those conditions saves your husband's integrity and his rights as the man of the family. If man feels he is respected in family and his wife ready to sacrifice anything and everything for him, he does everything for you.

Another point are your kids. Make sure they are happy, safe and secure. Talk with him about kid punishments, and so on.

This is very important. All girls are looking for good man, but most of them never ask themselves this question: "what do I have to offer to him?". Make sure he is happy with you. Make sure he is respected from your side, and his word is valuable to you and your kids. If you give this feeling and man position to him, you'll see your true love. If not, you may think of divorce(I don't believe in divorce. I fix things). This was my personal experience. It's very very very important that man and wife both HAVE TO think always about satisfaction of the other person(not himself/herself).

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2 minutes ago, AmirAlmuminin Lover said:

Salaam Alaykum

I don't know what conditions you want to put on your marriage, but make sure it is fair to you and your husband. Make sure if you're husband changed later, you have right to get out of the situation IF you believe marriage cannot be fixed after countless attempt(put divorce out of your dictionary). Moreover, make sure those conditions saves your husband's integrity and his rights as the man of the family. If man feels he is respected in family and his wife ready to sacrifice anything and everything for him, he does everything for you.

Another point are your kids. Make sure they are happy, safe and secure. Talk with him about kid punishments, and so on.

This is very important. All girls are looking for good man, but most of them never ask themselves this question: "what do I have to offer to him?". Make sure he is happy with you. Make sure he is respected from your side, and his word is valuable to you and your kids. If you give this feeling and man position to him, you'll see your true love. If not, you may think of divorce(I don't believe in divorce. I fix things). This was my personal experience. It's very very very important that man and wife both HAVE TO think always about satisfaction of the other person(not himself/herself).

I completely agree, and consider this common saying "To love someone means putting their needs before your own regardless if it hurts or pains you" He thinks i am the best mother and my children are the best behaved he has ever seen, he has told me he prays that when he and i have children Allah will bless them with the same good behaviour as i have raised my children extremely well and i have done all of it alone. According to him. He is active in my children lives, and attends doctors appointments, school functions etc. 

I put my children first before him this is true but he is a very close second in my life and i do a lot to improve his quality of life, and lessen his responsibility's so he has time to relax. we are both very happy with each other, otherwise no need to marry.

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5 hours ago, shouzan said:

otherwise no need to marry.

Salam I think you can do mutah for about one year to examine each other in Halal Way & after that you can decide better about this issue.

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1 hour ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

Salam I think you can do mutah for about one year to examine each other in Halal Way & after that you can decide better about this issue.

Why would we need Mutah if we both love and understand eachother and wish to have full Nikah. i understand the concern though thank you.

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29 minutes ago, shouzan said:

Why would we need Mutah if we both love and understand eachother and wish to have full Nikah. i understand the concern though thank you.

Salam in mutah you just say some words that it will protects both of you from Satan (Shaitan) & you will continue as the same also it brought a light responsibility that you can examine him better  before you you do Nikah maybe his action looks like for him already as a hobby but by this you will be better understand him in a less serious situation.

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2 hours ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

Salam in mutah you just say some words that it will protects both of you from Satan (Shaitan) & you will continue as the same also it brought a light responsibility that you can examine him better  before you you do Nikah maybe his action looks like for him already as a hobby but by this you will be better understand him in a less serious situation.

Of course i do know what Nikah mutah is, however if this is something neither he or I feel the desire to do a nikah mutah. We will do a long engagement period so it will basically be during this time we will spend properly getting to know eachother.

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4 hours ago, shouzan said:

Of course i do know what Nikah mutah is, however if this is something neither he or I feel the desire to do a nikah mutah. We will do a long engagement period so it will basically be during this time we will spend properly getting to know eachother.

Salam it was just an advise :grin: anyway you have more experiment in this i just want to mention Islamic way  :censored:

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