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Female staying single?

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I am over thirty years old.  I have never been married before. I cannot decide whether I should get married or not. Sometime when i think about the future how lonely i might end up one day then i think of getting married. But when i think about being with a man then I think that I might not be able to fulfil my duty as a wife. So I am confused whether i should stay single the rest of my life or just get married with a sunni man because marrying a shia man is not possible because of the community I live in.

Is marriage obligatory in islam?

Can a woman stay unmarried her entire life?

Is unmarried life disliked by Quran, Holy Prophet (saw) and ahlulbayt (as)? reference from Qur'an and ahlulbayt (as) please.

[Mod Note: This topic is posted for a sister who wants to remain anonymous.]

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I know who you are. :party:

Get married. It is healthy for the mind.

or you will be 40 and go to those dating seminars where they teach you how to get partners. I watched a few, good for understanding behavior, they generally consist of older or slow developed humans, although I wondered, why don't the mix group marry each other. The problem is the ideas that we hold that are generally fear based. Do not confine your self, but have a plan within your marriage too. 

Plans are important, many of us failed because we are told, ohhh God is the best of planners..... considering all those who had plans did well in life to those who did not.

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2 hours ago, Anonymous said:

I am over thirty years old.  I have never been married before. I cannot decide whether I should get married or not. Sometime when i think about the future how lonely i might end up one day then i think of getting married. But when i think about being with a man then I think that I might not be able to fulfil my duty as a wife. So I am confused whether i should stay single the rest of my life or just get married with a sunni man because marrying a shia man is not possible because of the community I live in.

Is marriage obligatory in islam?

Can a woman stay unmarried her entire life?

Is unmarried life disliked by Quran, Holy Prophet (saw) and ahlulbayt (as)? reference from Qur'an and ahlulbayt (as) please.

[Mod Note: This topic is posted for a sister who wants to remain anonymous.]

Assalamo Aalaykom.

well except the quran and the prophet hadith, think about, in 21st century, is it safe to be lonely? being alone in the house? with all those technologies we've around ourselves? the phone the computer the internet?

until when some people gonna keep fooling themselves? ( not talking to you dear sister directly)

whats about human desires? nature desires? if we had to be lonely and single? whats the purpose of creating male and female? did we even think about males and female private parts? why they works like this if there wasnt any relation and connection between them? (this is not my say, this is from Imam sadeq a.s) (god forgives me didnt want to mention such thing but i did my best of using the correct words to forwarding and mentioning imam sadiq a.s hadith).

Think sister, think, our brain has a lot of purposes and sadly we dont use it often, even me at this moment while typing this humble opinion to you.

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On 2/3/2018 at 3:58 AM, Anonymous said:

whether i should stay single the rest of my life or just get married with a sunni man because marrying a shia man is not possible because of the community I live in.

Is marriage obligatory in islam?

Can a woman stay unmarried her entire life?

if you want to a Sunni man you must consider that its possibility of forcing by him or his family wich you & your children become Sunni for that it is not recommended .

All references: The principle of marriage in Islam is not obligatory and is a requirement that has been very ordered; but if a person becomes do Haram by the absence of a spouse, marriage is obligatory upon him/her and he is not entitled to the end of a single life

http://hadana.ir/آیا-ازدواج-نکردن-و-مجرد-ماندن-گناه-است/

so if she doesn't afraid of involving in Haram act can be remains unmarried.

I wish & make dua to find a good Shia husband.

Prophet Muhammad (SAW) has been narrated that he said: "ما استَفادَ امرء مُسلِم فائِدَةً بَعدَ الإسلامِ أفضَلُ مِن زَوجَة مُسلِمَة تَسُرُّهُ إذا نَظَرَ إلَیها وَتُطیعُهُ إذا أمَرَها وَتَحفَظُهُ إذا غابَ عَنها فی نَفسِها وَمالِهِ'" The Muslim man did not benefit from becoming Muslim after being superior to a wife who, whenever he looks to her, his heart becomes happy, obeys his will, and when her husband leaves the house, she will protect herself and her husband's property". Kafi , Vol. 5, p. 327.

Imam Sadiq (as) said: One of the man's bliss is that his daughter does not see her menstruation in his home.

Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from his father from Muhammad ibn abu 'Umayr from 'Abd Allah ibn Sinan who has said the following:

"My father once asked abu 'Abd Allah, 'Alayhi al-Salam, about marriage with the Jews and Christians when I was listening. He (the Imam) said, 'Marriage with them in my view is better than marriage with al-Nasibah (people hostile to 'A'immah) and I do not like a Muslim man's marriage with a 
Jewish woman or a Christian woman because of fear that she can convert his children to Judaism or Christianity.'" 

http://www.fourshiabooks.com/hadith/al-kafi/19/27/15

http://www.fourshiabooks.com/view/al-kafi/19#1

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Is it impossible to relocate to another community? 

If you are over 30 I am guessing you are independent as well, so if I were you and there was absolutely no good shia men in my community, I would relocate.

If you come from a middle eastern background but you have moved then I would also suggest looking into marrying someone from "back home" and bring them to you or you move to them.

If relocation is absolutely out of the question then I would consider polygamy with a good shia man in my own community but I would never consider marriage to a sunni as that would affect me negatively spiritually and in other ways.

You shouldnt worry about not being able to fulfill your duty towards your husband because its not like you have been married before and realized that your not good at that, so your worry is baseless.

Anyways, I hope everything becomes better for you, I will make dua for you inshaAllah.

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Salaam Alaykum

Marriage is highly recommended in Islam, but it is not Wajib. There are a lot of Hadeeth encouraging to marriage.

Regarding community and marriage with Shia guy, go to other communities. Travel and see other communities and talk with people who are working at that mosque.

I don't recommend marriage with Sunni guy. I saw and see the outcomes. Moreover, your children won't follow Shiite.

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Hazrat Yahya (John)a.s son of Hazrat Zakriya (Zecheriya)a.s was unmarried and Allah highly praised him a.s in Surah e Maryam.. Also Maryam a.s was not married and yet being praised!!! They were the pure souls far away from sins. The point is do you have that much control on your desires/thinking?? If not! Then you have options Compromisable(if it is the only option) or worse???

May Allah bless you with the best..

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sister as  brother amiralmuminin said , it is recommended but not wajib ..

 it depends on what you want in your life, how you want your life to be.its all and all your decision..

1 hour ago, Hamodiii said:

The life of an unmarried is tough, Allah made you female and male, to share love and live in peace on Earth.

brother hamodiii married one's life is tough too..being married doesn't guarantee happiness and being single doesn't condemn one to misery.. 

if you decide not to get married , the hardest part for you would be to answer those relatives/friends  who constantly keep pestering you to get married.For them ,of all the topics in the world  the only important topic to discuss with you would be "when will you get married and what problem do you have in getting married"

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1 minute ago, ephemeral said:

sister as  brother amiralmuminin said , it is recommended but not wajib ..

 it depends on what you want in your life, how you want your life to be.its all and all your decision..

brother hamodiii married one's life is tough too..being married doesn't guarantee happiness and being single doesn't condemn one to misery.. 

if you decide not to get married , the hardest part for you would be to answer those relatives/friends  who constantly keep pestering you to get married.For them ,of all the topics in the world  the only important topic to discuss with you would be "when will you get married and what problem do you have in getting married"

Yeah, It is tough, but loneliness is more tough.

Marriage is made to combine the love and happiness, but some use marriage in the wrong way.

Have you ever seen pious marriage go into ruin? This is what life is about, but then again I would want to stay single to dedicate myself to my religion, and then do what I can to be with Imam Mehdi!

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On 2/3/2018 at 3:34 PM, Hamodiii said:

Yeah, It is tough, but loneliness is more tough.

Disagree!

Being alone is a hundred times better than being in a bad marriage, but being in a good marriage is a hundred times better than being alone.

Sister, you should consider relocation.  I'd advise against marrying a Sunni man, unless he is accepting of Shia beliefs and Sunni only due to habit or wish to keep family peace, or if your beliefs are less important to you than marriage.  Marriage is highly recommended, but not wajib.  

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On 2/3/2018 at 4:18 PM, notme said:

Disagree!

Being alone is a hundred times better than being in a bad marriage, but being in a good marriage is a hundred times better than being alone.

Sister, you should consider relocation.  I'd advise against marrying a Sunni man, unless he is accepting of Shia beliefs and Sunni only due to habit or wish to keep family peace, or if your beliefs are less important to you than marriage.  Marriage is highly recommended, but not wajib.  

When Allah wants us to marry it is meant to be blissful. Why the negative thoughts?

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8 hours ago, AmirAlmuminin Lover said:

Marriage is highly recommended in Islam

Could you please provide reference?

12 hours ago, Anonymous said:

So I am confused whether i should stay single the rest of my life or just get married with a Sunni man because marrying a Shia man is not possible because of the community I live in.

You will have problems raising your children as Shia.

Have you tried online -  shiamatch.com or simplyshia.com or something else?

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On 2/3/2018 at 7:10 AM, Ashvazdanghe said:

Imam Reza(as) miracle for an unmarried woman

I don't know what to say. MashahAllah, beautiful video. If the brothers and sisters could say Dua for me that I get to go soon to do Ziyarat of Imam Reda(a.s). 

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On 2/3/2018 at 4:18 PM, notme said:

Disagree!

Being alone is a hundred times better than being in a bad marriage, but being in a good marriage is a hundred times better than being alone.

Sister, you should consider relocation.  I'd advise against marrying a Sunni man, unless he is accepting of Shia beliefs and Sunni only due to habit or wish to keep family peace, or if your beliefs are less important to you than marriage.  Marriage is highly recommended, but not wajib.  

Absolutely this.

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2 hours ago, Hamodiii said:

When Allah wants us to marry it is meant to be blissful. Why the negative thoughts?

Experience. 

Don't ever rush into anything and never get married just for the sake of being married. Choose a suitable spouse or none at all. 

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2 minutes ago, notme said:

Experience. 

Don't ever rush into anything and never get married just for the sake of being married. Choose a suitable spouse or none at all. 

Guess I will stay single! This era has no pious women or men, and this is through experience as well.

The only thing I need is Allah and my love for ahlulbayt!

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Take initiative.  Move around, meet people, socialize, you may just find a decent dude.  If you do not then at least you tried.  I definitely wouldn't just marry for the heck of it though, but you should definitely explore.

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I am divorced, I married a sunni man when i was in my early 20's and we had issues regarding differences in our views, abuse and  his drinking. I found sunni men have different views on what is and isn't haram. I now happily raise my two children alone and live with my parents. I am maybe not the best to give advice on such a subject because i have my parents and my children. However you can be very happy single,i have had many offers to marry over the years however i found most men simply wanted a beautiful wife. I can say though, i never gave up on love and am a big believer that there is someone out there for everyone.

I am lucky enough, humdallah, to have met someone by chance and we are engaged and he loves me and my children, encourages me to go for a second undergrad and go to law school. I am very outspoken at times and he loves that, i am not the most knowledgeable muslim and he is teaching me, we complete each other in such a way i couldn't even imagine, where i am weak he is strong and vice versa. A partner should make you a better version of yourself. Find that and you will find the person you are meant to be with.

He is to be honestly the best man i have ever known. Don't actively look for someone to marry just for the sake of marrying sister. Wait and Allah will reward you with your patience. We are not obligated to marry and don't let anyone tell you you must do something you in your heart are not ready to do! 

Be strong! NEVER SETTLE! 

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On 2/4/2018 at 1:31 AM, ephemeral said:

sister as  brother amiralmuminin said , it is recommended but not wajib ..

 it depends on what you want in your life, how you want your life to be.its all and all your decision..

brother hamodiii married one's life is tough too..being married doesn't guarantee happiness and being single doesn't condemn one to misery.. 

if you decide not to get married , the hardest part for you would be to answer those relatives/friends  who constantly keep pestering you to get married.For them ,of all the topics in the world  the only important topic to discuss with you would be "when will you get married and what problem do you have in getting married"

I have seen many Widows not Remarrying again (Just staying Single) for the rest of their life because they still Love their Dead Husbands. Most people like us will find it odd but it is a TRUTH. For different people, different decisions are good for them. Only 1 decision is not good for everyone or I may say only 1 Medicine cannot cure everyone's disease. For many people, Early Marriage is better for them. While For Others, Late Marriage could be better for them. For some people, Marriage is Necessary while for others not. All these things depends upon Conditions the Person living in. Like this thread, have a look at it : 

My Personal Opinion is Parents and Relatives for most part should not Interfere. Interference only leads to 1 thing "DIVORCE" . This is what is noticed this in South Asian Cultures. Leave the Matters of Husband Wife alone. It's their Personal Problem, not your and mine.

As for recommendation part there is still some explanation here.

1. If a Believer Man or Believer Woman cannot control their Urges and they have Power to Marry, in this case it is Wajib (Compulsory) to Marry.

2. If a Believer Man or Believer Woman can control their Urges and they have power to marry (good conditions), in this case it is Highly Recommended.

3. If a Believer Man or Believer Woman can control their Urges and they have power to marry but they cannot become good parents in future, in this case it is Makrooh (Better to Avoid Marriage).

4. If a Believer Man or Believer Woman cannot control their Urges and they have power to marry but they cannot become good parents in future, in this case it is still Makrooh (Better to Avoid Marriage).

Conclusion : All things Depends upon Conditions Stated Above.

May Allah Give Spouses to those who are Searching, who will be Relaxation for their Eyes for Each Other. Aameen.

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Guest Life

@Anonymous @AmirAlmuminin Lover @ephemeral @notme @Intellectual Resistance @King

salam, thank you so much for your contribution, it is very much appreciated.  It give me conifident that staying single is not haram in islam and i am allowed to have unmarried life. Because the marriage time is running for me and I cannot to relocate to shia community. And neither I am able to get married with a man from my community back home because they are irreligiouse. They are shia muslims but do not practice and or some of them even do not believe in God or prophet and Imam. I am not judging but that is the reality about people from my community back home. Now my only option is to stay unmarried and do my reliogius duties as best as possible as single person. 

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On 2/14/2018 at 1:18 AM, Guest Life said:

Now my only option is to stay unmarried and do my reliogius duties as best as possible as single person. 

This is not true, you can still enter a polygamy marriage and this might work just fine.

People nowadays talk a lot about polygamy but just 1 or 2 generations back and to the beginning of islam, this was very normal and nothing strange at all.

Has the concept of polygamy for muslims become a strange things or is it the muslims of the time that have become strange?

Also if you do not mind, you could share what country you live in, maybe someone here knows someone for you, you never know.

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