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I’ve been married for coming up to 3 years. I live with my MIL & FIL and most the time my SIL & her daughter live here too. I cook dinner every day, sometimes even cook afternoon food too. I’m from a different culture, my in laws are Indian and they eat curry everyday for lunch. I’ve learnt how to cook lots of Indian food! I help out around the house, I do majority of the cleaning every other day eg hoover, keep kitchen clean & the 2 bathrooms once a week. I wash everyone’s clothes every Saturday morning, normally do 3 loads. My SILs daughter is very close to me she always wants me and wants to go everywhere with me that ppl think she’s my daughter. If me and my husband go shopping ( just me and him ) it’s an issue with my MIL, she will call my other SIL and start moaning about it, being all upset and angry. MIL doesn’t like us going anywhere without her basically. MIL always back bites about me saying I don’t do anything around the house, I don’t cook or clean. I just sit all day doing nothing and tells my SIL to tell my husband about this. Her attitude; it’s really starting to make me resent her. She’s all nice and smiles to my face but to my SIL she complains about me too much. she expects me to not go out with my friends, and when I do she complains asking why I even go and I go out too much. I go out once a week if that? Seriously. And complaining about me not cleaning and cooking when I do it everyday? . I go to my mums house every Friday and MIL doesn’t like it, and when I come back she always gives me dirty looks. Even when me and hubby want to go upstairs and just watch a movie together and chill, just have our own space together, it’s an issue we have to take SILs daughter upstairs with us! All of this makes me feel so annoyed. I’ve spoken to my husband about this before but he is adamant to stay living with his mum and dad. We were so close to breaking up before about this exact same issue, we had such a big bust up. He will NOT live separate, he would rather divorce me. I’m not happy living here anymore because of the way my MIL is. Really don’t know what to do. I’m trying to conceive as-well but I’m thinking twice about that now due to the way things are and I think they’ll get even worse if I had a baby whilst living here! Which makes me feel really sad as I desperately would love to have a child..

Edited by RevertSister

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You should really wait to have kids because after kids, things become even worse. People will tell you that if you give birth to a boy, your husband and MIL will like you more, but that's not true. And you don't know if you are going to have a girl or a boy. The workload will definitely increase after kids and in desi culture, people have unreasonable expectations from women after they become mothers. I won't tell you to separate from your husband, because the abuse doesn't seem to be very bad. In desi culture, women go through  a lot of abuse.

Edited by rkazmi33

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5 hours ago, RevertSister said:

I’m from a different culture, my in laws are Indian

Which culture are you from ? I'm going to take a guess and say you're British?

5 hours ago, RevertSister said:

I’ve learnt how to cook lots of Indian food! I help out around the house, I do majority of the cleaning every other day eg hoover, keep kitchen clean & the 2 bathrooms once a week. I wash everyone’s clothes every Saturday morning, normally do 3 loads.

Its one thing to share in the household chores but it sounds like you're doing everything.

5 hours ago, RevertSister said:

My SILs daughter is very close to me she always wants me and wants to go everywhere with me that ppl think she’s my daughter.

Is that because she's been dumped onto you to take care of? How old is she?

5 hours ago, RevertSister said:

If me and my husband go shopping ( just me and him ) it’s an issue with my MIL, she will call my other SIL and start moaning about it, being all upset and angry.

That's because sadly you have married into a backward mentality family with a backward minded Mother In Law. 

5 hours ago, RevertSister said:

MIL doesn’t like us going anywhere without her basically. MIL always back bites about me saying I don’t do anything around the house, I don’t cook or clean. I just sit all day doing nothing and tells my SIL to tell my husband about this. Her attitude; it’s really starting to make me resent her.

Resent is an understatement. In time you will come to hate that woman.

5 hours ago, RevertSister said:

She’s all nice and smiles to my face but to my SIL she complains about me too much. she expects me to not go out with my friends, and when I do she complains asking why I even go and I go out too much. I go out once a week if that?

She's garbage. No other way of putting it. You will never find happiness in your marriage while she is around.

5 hours ago, RevertSister said:

I go to my mums house every Friday and MIL doesn’t like it, and when I come back she always gives me dirty looks.

That's because she doesn't agree with the fact that her son married someone outside of their culture. I doubt she has accepted you as a member of her family and probably never will.

5 hours ago, RevertSister said:

I’ve spoken to my husband about this before but he is adamant to stay living with his mum and dad. We were so close to breaking up before about this exact same issue, we had such a big bust up. He will NOT live separate, he would rather divorce me.

He would rather divorce you then leave his Mother? Not sure how to respond to that but I think you should be able to clearly realize who is more important to him than you.

5 hours ago, RevertSister said:

Really don’t know what to do. I’m trying to conceive as-well but I’m thinking twice about that now due to the way things are and I think they’ll get even worse if I had a baby whilst living here! Which makes me feel really sad as I desperately would love to have a child..

Having a child isn't a great idea at this time if you are having such doubts about your marriage.

In my opinion, you've married into a rather small minded, provincial family. You can't even call them Conservative. The term I'd use is trashy and backward. I doubt anyone in his family is even of a religous nature because nowhere in Islam does it allow for a Mother In Law to treat her Daughter In Law like this.

You're going to have make the decision of whether you want to deal with this nonsense for the rest of your life. It's not going to change while your Mother In Law is still alive. She's a backward woman with a backward mindset who grew up in a backward world who's brought that mindset to her children. You've married into a provincial backward family. Not sure how old you are or what circumstances you are in but if I were you I would think about an exit strategy. If this happened to my daughter I'd go insane with rage.

However, I most certainly hope that this does not influence your opinion of Islam or Muslims. Trust me not all of us (especially those of us that are from or whose parents are from India) are like your In Laws. Islam does not dictate anything but respect and love for anyone who marries into your family (or for anyone else for that matter).

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20 minutes ago, Akbar673 said:

You're going to have make the decision of whether you want to deal with this nonsense for the rest of your life. It's not going to change while your Mother In Law is still alive. She's a backward woman with a backward mindset who grew up in a backward world who's brought that mindset to her children. You've married into a provincial backward family. Not sure how old you are or what circumstances you are in but if I were you I would think about an exit strategy. If this happened to my daughter I'd go insane with rage.

Salam it’s a little offensive comment but in eastern culture that’s a normal behavior for traditional families .mothers of husbands are very jealous & sensitive about the wife of their sons it is more acceptable for women that grow up on that culture but it is awkward for for women from Western culture she must have more patience specially about Hindu traditional culture that they want total obedience from new married women .even for me  that raised in a eastern culture that Hindu culture looks like the slavery about married women so it would be harder for women from western cultur.

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Just to confirm, is she an Indian Mother in Law?  Not to backbite of course, but maybe to let you know a lot of other women have felt like this with IMILs. 

Edited by Intellectual Resistance

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8 hours ago, Intellectual Resistance said:

Just to confirm, is she an Indian Mother in Law?  Not to backbite of course, but maybe to let you know a lot of other women have felt like this with IMILs. 

Salaams. Yes my MIL is Indian 

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14 hours ago, Akbar673 said:

Which culture are you from ? I'm going to take a guess and say you're British?

Its one thing to share in the household chores but it sounds like you're doing everything.

Is that because she's been dumped onto you to take care of? How old is she?

That's because sadly you have married into a backward mentality family with a backward minded Mother In Law. 

Resent is an understatement. In time you will come to hate that woman.

She's garbage. No other way of putting it. You will never find happiness in your marriage while she is around.

That's because she doesn't agree with the fact that her son married someone outside of their culture. I doubt she has accepted you as a member of her family and probably never will.

He would rather divorce you then leave his Mother? Not sure how to respond to that but I think you should be able to clearly realize who is more important to him than you.

Having a child isn't a great idea at this time if you are having such doubts about your marriage.

In my opinion, you've married into a rather small minded, provincial family. You can't even call them Conservative. The term I'd use is trashy and backward. I doubt anyone in his family is even of a religous nature because nowhere in Islam does it allow for a Mother In Law to treat her Daughter In Law like this.

You're going to have make the decision of whether you want to deal with this nonsense for the rest of your life. It's not going to change while your Mother In Law is still alive. She's a backward woman with a backward mindset who grew up in a backward world who's brought that mindset to her children. You've married into a provincial backward family. Not sure how old you are or what circumstances you are in but if I were you I would think about an exit strategy. If this happened to my daughter I'd go insane with rage.

However, I most certainly hope that this does not influence your opinion of Islam or Muslims. Trust me not all of us (especially those of us that are from or whose parents are from India) are like your In Laws. Islam does not dictate anything but respect and love for anyone who marries into your family (or for anyone else for that matter).

 As salaam alaicum. Thank you so much for your reply! I’m a white British revert الحمد لله been a Muslim since I was 21 got married when I was 23. MIL does cook but I cook just as much and no one else does any of the other chores in the house but I never have complained, until now. I’ve tried so hard to fit in with his family, most of the time they speak Gujarati and not much English. I’ve actually picked it up and understand pretty much everything. My SILs daughter is 5, and yeah she is put with me for me to take care of her and a few times my MIL has shouted at me about taking her out with me. Everyone in the family sees how she is always put with me for me to take care of her. Even when I went doctors the doctor asked how is my daughter, I was like I don’t have one haha. I know pretty soon I will start to hate her and I don’t want it to get to that but the way things are it’s inevitable. Her behaviour doesn’t make me think differently about Islam at all, I know she is an issue of her own self. I have spoken to my husband about this matter yesterday. MIL is in India right now, when she comes back he said he’s going to sit down with MIL & the SIL that told me what she’s been saying and also my 2 older BILs. See what she says, if it escalates or she admits what she has said my husband said he’s with me 100% and she shouldn’t treat me this way and if it comes to it we will get a place of our own he said he wants me to feel at home. الحمد لله so happy he has stud by me like this, really surprised as he’s such a mummy’s boy. I know my MIL is going to be soooo angry as she swears so much and is very hot headed eeek. I kind of feel guilty but end of the day her attitude it’s not right and the situation needs to be dealt with. 

Edited by RevertSister

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14 hours ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

Salam it’s a little offensive comment but in eastern culture that’s a normal behavior for traditional families .mothers of husbands are very jealous & sensitive about the wife of their sons it is more acceptable for women that grow up on that culture but it is awkward for for women from Western culture she must have more patience specially about Hindu traditional culture that they want total obedience from new married women .even for me  that raised in a eastern culture that Hindu culture looks like the slavery about married women so it would be harder for women from western cultur.

W.salaam. I’m not quite sure what your implying but are you condoning what my MIL is doing to be ok? I should just accept it? If you had a daughter would you let her be treated like this? Islam says NOTHING about obidenece towards in laws, in fact a daughter in law has no duties towards them at all, her main priority is her husband and that’s it. Besides islamicly we shouldn’t mix culture and religion together! 

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15 hours ago, rkazmi33 said:

You should really wait to have kids because after kids, things become even worse. People will tell you that if you give birth to a boy, your husband and MIL will like you more, but that's not true. And you don't know if you are going to have a girl or a boy. The workload will definitely increase after kids and in desi culture, people have unreasonable expectations from women after they become mothers. I won't tell you to separate from your husband, because the abuse doesn't seem to be very bad. In desi culture, women go through  a lot of abuse.

Salaams. Thanks for your reply. I understand what your saying, You say the abuse doesn’t seem to be very bad but its emotional abuse just because she doesn’t hit me doesn’t mean I’m not hurting. Abuse is abuse no matter what level it is. It’s not acceptable and it shouldn’t be compared to other lengths of abuse and be classed as ok. I’ve been living here for 3 years but I don’t feel like its home. I’ve tried my ultimate best to fit in with my in laws and make as much effort with them as possible. My in laws don’t speak much English so there was already a language barrier, I tried my best to communicate and make as much effort as possible. I now understand Gujarati quite well, And learnt how to make so many Indian dishes. Learnt how to make rotis and so many other dishes so that I can help around the house. I compromised living with them to make my husband and them happy. In return I’ve been made to feel depressed, unappreciated and an outsider. A bit of me feels broken, I dispise living here now, every day I look forward to just going back to sleep. Is that normal? Is that ok for in laws to make their DIL feel like this. Would you want your own daughter to feel this way and tell her the abuse isn’t very bad? 

 

Edited by RevertSister

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1 hour ago, RevertSister said:

W.salaam. I’m not quite sure what your implying but are you condoning what my MIL is doing to be ok? I should just accept it? If you had a daughter would you let her be treated like this? Islam says NOTHING about obidenece towards in laws, in fact a daughter in law has no duties towards them at all, her main priority is her husband and that’s it. Besides islamicly we shouldn’t mix culture and religion together! 

No Its mostly a cultural issue even my parents had same situation as you but not hard as you , the Hindians are more conservative in this issue that returns to their culture but separating from husband is not best action you must consider as your last arrow.

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46 minutes ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

No Its mostly a cultural issue even my parents had same situation as you but not hard as you , the Hindians are more conservative in this issue that returns to their culture but separating from husband is not best action you must consider as your last arrow.

Yes I agree with you. definitely is a culture clash here and only way I see it being resolved is if me and my husband live separately. 

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4 hours ago, RevertSister said:

Salaams. Thanks for your reply. I understand what your saying, You say the abuse doesn’t seem to be very bad but its emotional abuse just because she doesn’t hit me doesn’t mean I’m not hurting. Abuse is abuse no matter what level it is. It’s not acceptable and it shouldn’t be compared to other lengths of abuse and be classed as ok. I’ve been living here for 3 years but I don’t feel like its home. I’ve tried my ultimate best to fit in with my in laws and make as much effort with them as possible. My in laws don’t speak much English so there was already a language barrier, I tried my best to communicate and make as much effort as possible. I now understand Gujarati quite well, And learnt how to make so many Indian dishes. Learnt how to make rotis and so many other dishes so that I can help around the house. I compromised living with them to make my husband and them happy. In return I’ve been made to feel depressed, unappreciated and an outsider. A bit of me feels broken, I dispise living here now, every day I look forward to just going back to sleep. Is that normal? Is that ok for in laws to make their DIL feel like this. Would you want your own daughter to feel this way and tell her the abuse isn’t very bad? 

 

I am sorry if I hurt your feelings. I have seen so much stuff that I have become desensitized, that's why I made that comment. I am glad that your husband is listening to you now and I hope things get better for you. 

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6 hours ago, RevertSister said:

I’m a white British revert الحمد لله been a Muslim since I was 21 got married when I was 23.

So if you don't mind my asking...why did you marry into this family and this situation? Did you know how the living accomodations were going to be beforehand?

6 hours ago, RevertSister said:

MIL does cook but I cook just as much and no one else does any of the other chores in the house

Who else lives there?

6 hours ago, RevertSister said:

My SILs daughter is 5, and yeah she is put with me for me to take care of her

Where are her parents?

6 hours ago, RevertSister said:

MIL has shouted at me about taking her out with me.

Shouted at you? Unacceptable.

6 hours ago, RevertSister said:

when she comes back he said he’s going to sit down with MIL & the SIL that told me what she’s been saying and also my 2 older BILs.

I can tell you already what's going to happen. The MIL is going to accuse you of poisoning your husband's mind against her in the hopes of splitting up their family and taking her son away from her.

Where's the FIL in all this mess?

6 hours ago, RevertSister said:

I know my MIL is going to be soooo angry as she swears so much and is very hot headed eeek.

Psychiatric issues at the heart of it all it sounds like with her.

6 hours ago, RevertSister said:

I kind of feel guilty but end of the day her attitude it’s not right and the situation needs to be dealt with. 

Guilty about what? What have you done wrong to warrant such treatment. 

Islamically your guardianship is given in trust to your husband in this life/world. He is your guardian for the duration of your marriage. At the end of the marriage (either through divorce or death) your guardian reverts back to being your Father or a son. Its incumbent upon him to find a way to balance his marriage with his Mother during this time. He needs to do what he needs to do to make the best of whatever the scenario is. 

On a side note, are you Husband/In Laws a Shia family or a Sunni one?

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16 hours ago, Akbar673 said:

So if you don't mind my asking...why did you marry into this family and this situation? Did you know how the living accomodations were going to be beforehand?

Who else lives there?

Where are her parents?

Shouted at you? Unacceptable.

I can tell you already what's going to happen. The MIL is going to accuse you of poisoning your husband's mind against her in the hopes of splitting up their family and taking her son away from her.

Where's the FIL in all this mess?

Psychiatric issues at the heart of it all it sounds like with her.

Guilty about what? What have you done wrong to warrant such treatment. 

Islamically your guardianship is given in trust to your husband in this life/world. He is your guardian for the duration of your marriage. At the end of the marriage (either through divorce or death) your guardian reverts back to being your Father or a son. Its incumbent upon him to find a way to balance his marriage with his Mother during this time. He needs to do what he needs to do to make the best of whatever the scenario is. 

On a side note, are you Husband/In Laws a Shia family or a Sunni one?

Yes before we got married he said he wanted to stay living with his parents so he can look after them and stay as a family. I was fine to compromise with that but you never know how the circumstance is going to be until your in it. Its me my husband mil Fil sil and her daughter. My sil is divorced that’s why her and her daughter live with us. Yeah I can see her saying something along those lines too or something manipulative to make her look like the victim and I’ve done wrong. My fil doesn’t know any of this, he and my mil don’t have the best of relationships they are barely around each other. Sunni family

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Please sister please for your own sanity move out of the family home, it should have been a condition in your nikah contract that you have your own separate house with your husband. i suggest you simply speak privately with your husband about starting a family and wanting your own home to do that in. Honestly just forget the MIL she is either sour because she didn't approve of her son marrying outside of his culture, or even though you are a revert sister she assumes you are loose and have low morals and have had many sexual partners before reverting. it isn't true i am sure but these are the ideas she probably has towards you. Also mothers usually never think anyone is good enough for their sons. 

You must hit a soft part in your husbands heart to convince him to move, I am Canadian but i am a born muslim to a Lebanese father and i know exactly how most of us think about reverts and Western/European women. Lucky for me my mother is not muslim or arab she is European herself, so i have the benefit of seeing things from both sides of the fence. 

Good luck

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On 08/02/2018 at 2:19 AM, shouzan said:

Please sister please for your own sanity move out of the family home, it should have been a condition in your nikah contract that you have your own separate house with your husband. i suggest you simply speak privately with your husband about starting a family and wanting your own home to do that in. Honestly just forget the MIL she is either sour because she didn't approve of her son marrying outside of his culture, or even though you are a revert sister she assumes you are loose and have low morals and have had many sexual partners before reverting. it isn't true i am sure but these are the ideas she probably has towards you. Also mothers usually never think anyone is good enough for their sons. 

You must hit a soft part in your husbands heart to convince him to move, I am Canadian but i am a born muslim to a Lebanese father and i know exactly how most of us think about reverts and Western/European women. Lucky for me my mother is not muslim or arab she is European herself, so i have the benefit of seeing things from both sides of the fence. 

Good luck

As salaam alaicum. Thanks for your reply. I agree to an extent as I can never be 100% sure what she truely thinks of me! But she does always have an opinion on things I do eg going out with friends and going to see my family or even when it’s just me and my husband going somewhere! Which is not allowed lol. She interferes way too much and I can’t cope with it anymore, really hope we do live separately! I would of been quite happy living with in laws but MILs behaviour does effect our marriage and also my relationship with her. I’m in 2 minds to tell my family about this but I also don’t want my family to worry or change how she feels and sees my in laws. 

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21 minutes ago, kirtc said:

since you dont have kids... get a divorce and get out of there.. sounds like hell.. Imam khomeini didnt even let his wife wash the dishes.. he did it himself.

 I second this. I remember your old posts. You have been unhappy for the entire length of your marriage. This is no way to live. Things won't change. Have a final talk with your husband and move out.If he cares enough for your happiness and this marriage he will take the necessary steps towards it, otherwise you have your answer. Move on. Have faith that Allahسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى will not leave you alone.

I will pray for you, sister. Remember life is a test, as long as you have your Imaan everything else is good.

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2 hours ago, RevertSister said:

As salaam alaicum. Thanks for your reply. I agree to an extent as I can never be 100% sure what she truely thinks of me! But she does always have an opinion on things I do eg going out with friends and going to see my family or even when it’s just me and my husband going somewhere! Which is not allowed lol. She interferes way too much and I can’t cope with it anymore, really hope we do live separately! I would of been quite happy living with in laws but MILs behaviour does effect our marriage and also my relationship with her. I’m in 2 minds to tell my family about this but I also don’t want my family to worry or change how she feels and sees my in laws. 

First don't Listen to people about divorce! It really is the LAST resort, as for your MIL please try to speak with your husband, no one has a right to demand, order or make issues with you over seeing your friends and family. ESPECIALLY going out with your husband, your MIL sounds like a nasty old hypocrite. If she is really a devoted muslim I suggest you research and get some Quran verses that support her shutting up and minding her own business and not gossiping and making you uncomfortable. 

 

You are in your home with your husband yet she makes you feel like an outsider and you don't belong, Why because your white? reverted? not good enough for her Son? Well im Damn sure her son chose YOU! and inshallah he will chose your side. Speak to him ASAP if he will not accept you move to a nice flat somewhere and see his family one a week (Which to be honest is the norm for most muslim middle eastern families i know) for dinner and quality time than take ur phone and record your MIL doing nasty and bad things than get ur things and leave to your parents. Go speak to Mosque and seek guidance. If he doesn't try to resolve the issues HIS family caused than he honestly isn't worth it. Also girl Stop cooking, Cleaning, etc. I wonder even if they are using you as a free Maid or something. I don't mind normal house work but you seem to be the only one doing everything around that house and i have a small voice in my head saying "He married for to take care of their home and his parents" weird i know but there are SICK people out there.

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On 13/02/2018 at 12:13 PM, shouzan said:

First don't Listen to people about divorce! It really is the LAST resort, as for your MIL please try to speak with your husband, no one has a right to demand, order or make issues with you over seeing your friends and family. ESPECIALLY going out with your husband, your MIL sounds like a nasty old hypocrite. If she is really a devoted muslim I suggest you research and get some Quran verses that support her shutting up and minding her own business and not gossiping and making you uncomfortable. 

 

You are in your home with your husband yet she makes you feel like an outsider and you don't belong, Why because your white? reverted? not good enough for her Son? Well im Damn sure her son chose YOU! and inshallah he will chose your side. Speak to him ASAP if he will not accept you move to a nice flat somewhere and see his family one a week (Which to be honest is the norm for most muslim middle eastern families i know) for dinner and quality time than take ur phone and record your MIL doing nasty and bad things than get ur things and leave to your parents. Go speak to Mosque and seek guidance. If he doesn't try to resolve the issues HIS family caused than he honestly isn't worth it. Also girl Stop cooking, Cleaning, etc. I wonder even if they are using you as a free Maid or something. I don't mind normal house work but you seem to be the only one doing everything around that house and i have a small voice in my head saying "He married for to take care of their home and his parents" weird i know but there are SICK people out there.

JazakAllah for your message. I agree, that’s what drives me crazy the most! I don’t see why it’s a problem when me and my husband go out ( without anyone else tagging along! ) ..the fact I do what I do within this household but when MIL feels annoyed with me she backbites and tells family members I’m lazy and don’t do anything and tells my SIL to tell my husband I need to do more! That actually broke me a little as I’ve tried so hard to fit in and make so much effort to get on with everyone yet she makes me feel trapped here! Dislike so much. A family meeting will happen soon to discuss his mums behaviour, I know she will play the victim or start crying or swearing.. end of the day she’s in the wrong and I really have seen her true colours. Since all of this has happened I can’t see her the way I used to, a part of me dislikes her which makes me feel sad. In shaa Allah it all gets resolved, hoping to move out if not then my parents house is the option I’m thinking of taking. Xx

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On 2018-02-16 at 5:18 AM, RevertSister said:

JazakAllah for your message. I agree, that’s what drives me crazy the most! I don’t see why it’s a problem when me and my husband go out ( without anyone else tagging along! ) ..the fact I do what I do within this household but when MIL feels annoyed with me she backbites and tells family members I’m lazy and don’t do anything and tells my SIL to tell my husband I need to do more! That actually broke me a little as I’ve tried so hard to fit in and make so much effort to get on with everyone yet she makes me feel trapped here! Dislike so much. A family meeting will happen soon to discuss his mums behaviour, I know she will play the victim or start crying or swearing.. end of the day she’s in the wrong and I really have seen her true colours. Since all of this has happened I can’t see her the way I used to, a part of me dislikes her which makes me feel sad. In shaa Allah it all gets resolved, hoping to move out if not then my parents house is the option I’m thinking of taking. Xx

Consider crimes all over the world, it is NOT the persons intentions behind the action it is how action effects individuals. So even if your MIL has the "best intentions" with her backbiting it actually has affected you mentally and made you uncomfortable as a person. I suggest you discuss your feelings about everything with your husband first before this meeting. Than he can be your backup and support during this family meeting. It is hard for people to accept the fault and responsibility for their own actions.  and yes she will make drama and play victim, but DONT let this erase your feelings regarding how her actions and words have made you feel. He chose you as HIS wife. Your MIL has nothing to do with your marriage. Be Strong!

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On 13/02/2018 at 10:48 AM, starlight said:

 I second this. I remember your old posts. You have been unhappy for the entire length of your marriage. This is no way to live. Things won't change. Have a final talk with your husband and move out.If he cares enough for your happiness and this marriage he will take the necessary steps towards it, otherwise you have your answer. Move on. Have faith that Allahسُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى will not leave you alone.

I will pray for you, sister. Remember life is a test, as long as you have your Imaan everything else is good.

This might be the best option. Allah wants to see you grow as a person and this situation may cause great harm to your personality. This mental stress could cause you to treat other people in bad ways.

You should move out and tell him that he needs to move too if he still wants you. Once you are out you could give him a little while to see if he agrees to move.

Do not allow this to drag on.

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