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10 hours ago, Smiles786 said:

You guys are missing my point. I did not say they have to be extremely good looking or that looks is the only criteria.

what I am saying is looks do matter. To be blunt it would be hard to have kids with someone you find very unattractive. 

Maybe you guys haven’t been in a situation like this 

Sister I am trying to say the same I don’t want a model just only a simple basic attraction for a decent guy 

Edited by Sisterfatima1

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9 hours ago, Guest Account Ali said:

Sister, stop characterizing us in one extreme. Seriously. 

 

You know what we are talking about, but if you want to be stuck in your ways. Fine. The only thing we are asking is if you mind being treated the same way. Just answer this question and this entire discussion comes to an end. 

Brother I wouldn’t mind if I was rejected because i know I might not be there type 

I’ve never been rejected tho so I don’t know but I know I wouldn’t be offended 

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23 minutes ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

What if you saw the girl was for example really overweight had big teeth had moles on her face would you still meet her be honest 

Probably, I mean a few moles, big teeth and being overweight isn't really a deal breaker for me. It could be so much worse like being emotionally abusive, disrespectful and just plain nasty, despite having a supermodel appearance. Now, imagine that woman as an elderly woman sixty years later. Repulsive, right?

Look at this way, she could lose the weight, have an amazing smile because of her big teeth and her moles could accent her beauty. And she could be absolutely devoted, respectful  and mature woman who is exactly what I am looking for in a relationship. Why should I judge her appearance, the way Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى made her?

Some of these responses disgust me.

Edited by Gaius I. Caesar

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18 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Brother I wouldn’t mind if I was rejected because i know I might not be there type 

I’ve never been rejected tho so I don’t know but I know I wouldn’t be offended 

Sister I know you and anyone who says that is lying. No use in hiding it. I know deep deep down you would get offended. 

Also I think if anything a good series of rejections will make you more mature. Before you use your selectively of looks makes you a lonely woman even moreso than you are. Once again, you ain't got anybody to blame but yourself for your misery. 

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17 hours ago, Guest Account Ali said:

Sister I know you and anyone who says that is lying. No use in hiding it. I know deep deep down you would get offended. 

Also I think if anything a good series of rejections will make you more mature. Before you use your selectively of looks makes you a lonely woman even moreso than you are. Once again, you ain't got anybody to blame but yourself for your misery. 

I’m not hiding it why would I be upset if someone didn’t like me 

there are plenty of others that might 

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17 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

I’m not hiding it why would I be upset if someone didn’t like me 

there are plenty of others that might 

It is called being a human being. You are just like everyone else. Again don't lie. You do care. However much you supress it. 

You can sit there and say you don't care to high heaven. But by being a human being with these finicky things called "emotions" (yes even you have them) everybody and they mama knows that you ain't being true to yourself. 

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17 hours ago, Guest Account Ali said:

It is called being a human being. You are just like everyone else. Again don't lie. You do care. However much you supress it. 

You can sit there and say you don't care to high heaven. But by being a human being with these finicky things called "emotions" (yes even you have them) everybody and they mama knows that you ain't being true to yourself. 

I am being true to myself 

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46 minutes ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

What if you saw the girl was for example really overweight had big teeth had moles on her face would you still meet her be honest 

Also seriously? I know your post history indicates you are a mother but I have never encountered such an immature question. No one is being fooled by this red herring. 

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17 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

I am being true to myself 

Lol. No you aren't. You are a human being.

I don't know who you are in real life nor do I pretend to know you. But not a single human being on this planet can admit they don't find rejection on some subatomic level offensive. 

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2 minutes ago, Guest Account Ali said:

Also seriously? I know your post history indicates you are a mother but I have never encountered such an immature question. No one is being fooled by this red herring. 

Yes I am a mother what’s that got to do with anything 

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17 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

Wanting someone I’m attracted to has nothing to do with my parenting ability 

Not that. Your whole "what if she was fat?!" Question. You know exactly why that was an immature question. 

Also see my response to your post about you insisting you are true to yourself. 

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17 hours ago, Guest Account Ali said:

Not that. Your whole "what if she was fat?!" Question. You know exactly why that was an immature question. 

Also see my response to your post about you insisting you are true to yourself. 

It’s not a immature question some men might not like a big woman some men might

some men might love white skin 

some might love dark skin

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17 hours ago, Guest Account Ali said:

Again don't lie. You do care. However much you supress it. 

Why are you repeatedly calling her a a liar? That's not very polite. Rejection does hurt everyone a little bit but if you are not insecure you remain unaffected in the long run. It doesn't really matter. 

You wouldn't want to marry an obese girl. I think it's you who is not being very honest here.

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3 hours ago, Guest Account Ali said:

Like I Said, if one considers beauty as like the 10th variable in selecting a spouse. Then fine. Anything less spells disaster. For either gender. 

Also, you should go for a girl with good lineage.

Everything I said is mentioned in the ulama books.

Edited by Sumerian

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Okay Okay, Don't Fight. :grin:

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4 hours ago, Sisterfatima1 said:

What if you saw the girl was for example really overweight had big teeth had moles on her face would you still meet her be honest 

I don’t understand these extremes that you speak of.

No here is saying go for someone who you really, really don’t find attractive, and, as a person who lost 55 pounds and has kept it off for three years (“you have such a pretty face but you’re fat” comments.) I find, “what if she’s fat??!” So offensive.

Someone’s weight does not always make that person unattractive. And, like @Gaius I. Caesar said, that “fat girl” could lose the weight and become “hot” one day. It’s happened 10000000 everywhere. And guess what? It’s happened to me. And you know what else? Fat girls who lose weight (and keep it off.) value putting effort into keeping their looks while girls who have never been overweight but put on weight overtime still have the mentality that they are as “hot” as they used to be. The difference here is not looks, but mentality. 

fatness doesn’t equal unattractive. And like other people have said, to ask such a question, while ignoring all other answers that have been given, such as give people chances, have been ignored with dumb rhetoric attempts. 

And like I said, you’re no model. So why don’t you get off your high horse and realize you are average, like most people in the world. If you were on the low side on the bmi, which most people are not, had great hair, and a drop-dead gorgeous face, I’d totally understand. Really I would. But unless you’re ready to post your stats or a picture, then you really should think about what people here are telling you.

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2 hours ago, starlight said:

Why are you repeatedly calling her a a liar? That's not very polite. Rejection does hurt everyone a little bit but if you are not insecure you remain unaffected in the long run. It doesn't really matter. 

You wouldn't want to marry an obese girl. I think it's you who is not being very honest here.

Thanks sis I am not insecure I have my kids They are my highest priority and the only people I honestly need in my life. true love that is my children 

i am not begging to be married again I’ve had kids I done lots of things in life that I wanted to 

i have my own enjoyment that don’t include mans company 

sure it would be nice if I remarried and I would like it and I’d like to have more kids I’m still young

but it’s not my main priority 

Edited by Sisterfatima1

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