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There must be something wrong with me. Most people watch this and are in awe of Anthony Joshua's power. I watch this and all I can think of is: I wish I were a Scottish-accented boxing commentator.

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21 hours ago, Hussaini624 said:

Salam

You are doing good, good intention, trying to help the community. Allah sees your deed and you will be rewarded, do not worry at all!

Now I do not know what is going through those women's minds, but they're clearly not grateful. I think that you did what you could, you will be rewarded by Allah, and your job is done.

The only reason I can think of is that these women cannot take their anger and frustration out on anyone else. Anyone who tries to help a woman in an abusive marriage, people think that person is trying to create problems between husband and wife. People accuse that person of trying to break a marriage. They say that even if you have to lie, do it to reconsile differences between two Momins and same principle applies to husband and wife. So everyone pretends they don't see the abuse when it is clearly happening. 

Anyway, I will be so busy with my new job that I won't have energy to worry about those women. I can only pray for them. May Allah keep them safe. 

Edited by rkazmi33

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2 hours ago, rkazmi33 said:

I will be so busy with my new job that I won't have energy to worry about those women. I can only pray for them. May Allah keep them safe. 

It looks like she was just venting and didn't expect you to get involved, which means she might have been exaggerating. Take care of yourself and your own family, and if you have/will have children, don't let them marry into her family. Congratulations on your new job!

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6 hours ago, rkazmi33 said:

The only reason I can think of is that these women cannot take their anger and frustration out on anyone else. Anyone who tries to help a woman in an abusive marriage, people think that person is trying to create problems between husband and wife. People accuse that person of trying to break a marriage. They say that even if you have to lie, do it to reconsile differences between two Momins and same principle applies to husband and wife. So everyone pretends they don't see the abuse when it is clearly happening. 

Anyway, I will be so busy with my new job that I won't have energy to worry about those women. I can only pray for them. May Allah keep them safe. 

Sister, believe it or not, some people are in denial about whats happening to them. Some, may not even understand emotional abuse initially, as it's done in a very manipulative way and there's no "proof" per se. Physical abuse is a lot more obvious to most but maybe a person that has grown up in a physically abusive environment thinks its ok to act in such a way or be at the receiving end? I am not saying its learnt behaviour for everyone but for some at the very least. Other times, people are just scared to leave those relationships.

Have you heard this saying: "You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink?"  Sometimes it takes a person to be battered and bruised or put down that many times to finally get that strength and realise that they will not put up with it anymore and there's only so much onlookers can do. Also, people are in different situations so for some, it may be easier to walk away than others.

We pray for any victim of any type of abuse whether it may be a male, female, child or the elderly that they are able to overcome these situations and to get the justice they deserve.

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I was tutoring this kid in Maths and I was very overconfident in my abilities, so I asked him to attempt a very difficult problem which I couldn't understand myself (wasn't expecting this at all).

I just kept asking my student random questions (which was related to the problem) over and over again, eventually he ended up solving it himself.

Tip for tutors - If you don't understand a question, just question your student until he solves it himself.

Edited by ali_fatheroforphans

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What do you guys think about marrying someone from your distant family members?

My cousins daughter is interested in me lol, and my parents asked me what I think about her. I'm not a fan of marrying family members, even tho she's not my first cousin.

Edited by laithAlIRAQI

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This thread needs to be deleted, because it is one of the daftest things i have read on SC in a while. I didn't make a thread because the last thing i want is to give this any more attention:

http://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235046606-cursing-umar/

If you believe that certain individuals deserve to be cursed, do you realise there is no difference between publicly saying they deserve to be cursed and sending insults, and then cursing them? It is akin to telling someone of a particular race you believe they are worthy of being called an abusive racist word but you won't say it to their face. 

SubhanAllah, how daft is it to be publicly telling people it is okay to curse Abu Bakr and Umar, but just don't do it in public but private? The idea is, even if you believe they merit whatever dua against them, you don't promote abusing them. Put aside any bias you have towards me and open your minds to sense. Threads and posts on those threads like this are making the rounds on other forums. I know ShiaChat is not the bastion of academic discourse , but a forum that anyone can post on, but some sense needs to overcome us, surely.

And people posting thinking they are brave by explaining , publicly, in great detail about these things are not brave at all. It's stupidity. It's not bravery. You are putting ego before thinking about the implications of your actions.  Unfortunately, the last time i wrote a message like this, someone distorted what i was saying and turned some Sunnis i had worked with for years against me quoting and taking screen captures. 

Our Uelma are clear, don't talk about it, period. You don't see Sayed Ali Khamanei talking about not abusing symbols in public, but promoting people to do it in private. I am not arguing if he does or does not believe in that (so to the smart alec who tries to argue there is evidence , please recognise that isn't my point). He has enough wisdom and sense to recognise how daft it would be to publicly tell people not to abuse someone, but to give the go ahead to do it privately. 

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4 hours ago, laithAlIRAQI said:

What do you guys think about marrying someone from your distant family members?

My cousins daughter is interested in me lol, and my parents asked me what I think about her. I'm not a fan of marrying family members, even tho she's not my first cousin.

There is no problem in that brother.

As you know Imam Ali(as) and seyyeda Fatima(as) were related as well. If she is a good women, why not?

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@Heavenly_Silk 25 years ago when I was a kid, I remember my mother's friend complaining about same thing. Her brother-in-law used to beat his wife and when she protested, his wife wrote her a very long letter, telling her that she should not create problems between husband and wife. My family has also started believing that some people are 'sacred' and they are only mean to others to punish them for their sins. This ideology looks like a moderate version of ISIS ideology. Those women either believe they are sacrificing for some noble cause or getting punished for their past sins. 

It's just very hard to watch and pretend you don't see anything. 

Edited by rkazmi33

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10 hours ago, laithAlIRAQI said:

What do you guys think about marrying someone from your distant family members?

My cousins daughter is interested in me lol, and my parents asked me what I think about her. I'm not a fan of marrying family members, even tho she's not my first cousin.

Nothing wrong with it at all and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. My brother married our second cousin 4 years ago, it was completely arranged we knew nothing about her. Alhamdulilah they are perfect for each other , a match made in heaven. And she is also an amazing sister-in-Law I couldn’t have asked for a better sis in law. So yeah, if she is a good person then by all means don’t let something trivial as this stop you from going forward. 

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49 minutes ago, Pearl178 said:

Nothing wrong with it at all and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. My brother married our second cousin 4 years ago, it was completely arranged we knew nothing about her. Alhamdulilah they are perfect for each other , a match made in heaven. And she is also an amazing sister-in-Law I couldn’t have asked for a better sis in law. So yeah, if she is a good person then by all means don’t let something trivial as this stop you from going forward. 

I know there's islamically nothing wrong with it, but I just don't feel comfortable doing it and i can't actually imagine myself being intimate with her...

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3 hours ago, laithAlIRAQI said:

I know there's islamically nothing wrong with it, but I just don't feel comfortable doing it and i can't actually imagine myself being intimate with her...

Why?

Would you have felt weird about it if you were all living in Iraq from day 1 until now? Most likely not.

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Just now, IbnSina said:

Why?

Would you have felt weird about it if you were all living in Iraq from day 1 until now? Most likely not.

That doesn't matter and it's not going to change how I feel now. 

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1 minute ago, laithAlIRAQI said:

That doesn't matter and it's not going to change how I feel now. 

I understand that, but can you explain to yourself why you feel weird about it?

If your unable to explain it to yourself then it is probably not a rational thought.

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16 hours ago, rkazmi33 said:

@Heavenly_Silk 25 years ago when I was a kid, I remember my mother's friend complaining about same thing. Her brother-in-law used to beat his wife and when she protested, his wife wrote her a very long letter, telling her that she should not create problems between husband and wife. My family has also started believing that some people are 'sacred' and they are only mean to others to punish them for their sins. This ideology looks like a moderate version of ISIS ideology. Those women either believe they are sacrificing for some noble cause or getting punished for their past sins. 

It's just very hard to watch and pretend you don't see anything. 

Some of the attitudes that people have towards domestic violence are disgusting!

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giphy.gif

"The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) gave him the banner (and 'Ali went to meet Marhab in a single combat).

The latter advanced chanting: Khaibar knows certainly that I am Marhab, A fully armed and well-tried valorous warrior (hero) When war comes spreading its flames.

'Ali chanted in reply: I am the one whose mother named him Haidar, (And am) like a lion of the forest with a terror-striking countenance. I give my opponents the measure of sandara in exchange for sa' (i. e. return thir attack with one that is much more fierce).

The narrator said: 'Ali struck at the head of Mirhab and killed him, so the victory (capture of Khaibar) was due to him. This long tradition has also been handed down Through a different chain of transmitters."

[Saheeh Muslim]: https://sunnah.com/muslim/32/160

Visual Epic:

 

Edited by Intellectual Resistance

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