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Guest Searchingfortruth

What path do I chose?

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Guest Searchingfortruth

Salaam brothers/sisters,

I would really appreciate it if i could get some perspective and unbiased opinions about the path I am about to take.

I am 22 years old living in the U.K. and have recently graduated and currently undergoing a placement year as part of my development before I undertake my masters. 

I am at a stage in my life where I am more concerned with the state of my akirah rather than the dunya. Having said that it hasn't always been like this and I'm very much early on in my journey. I feel a sense of conflict in myself and my beliefs. I question at times what we've been taught and how authentic our views are not shia in particular but the entire Ummah.I want to search for the truth by studying Islam throughly but as any young Muslim my age, the world doesn't work like that. I'm afraid of not being able to support my mother and father, if I leave to study I may be gone for a very long time and all that time they may struggle. I also feel as if it may be unjust for me to rush something like this and jump in head first but I've come to realise if I follow through with my career 100% I could provide for my family and live a very normal life but I would never reach fufillment and fall into a deeper depression, my heart would forever be searching for answers. I want to make a difference, I want to help spread truth and bring people together. So I wanted some opinions and a discussion as to what you would advise me to do if you've had a similar experience, where do I start? 

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7 hours ago, Guest Searchingfortruth said:

I want to search for the truth by studying Islam throughly but as any young Muslim my age, the world doesn't work like that. I'm afraid of not being able to support my mother and father, if I leave to study I may be gone for a very long time and all that time they may struggle. I also feel as if it may be unjust for me to rush something like this and jump in head first but I've come to realise if I follow through with my career 100% I could provide for my family and live a very normal life but I would never reach fufillment and fall into a deeper depression, my heart would forever be searching for answers.

Salam. If you have one year before you start your Masters degree program, then there is no need to leave your family to go study Islam. Stay with your family and do as much independent study about Islam as you can. Do research on your own by reading and studying. After you achieve your Masters degree, inShaAllah you can take a break and reassess your situation to decide whether you want to take hawzah classes or other educational opportunities or if you need to work to pay off debts for yourself or your family.  

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