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Sisterfatima1

Desire for a huge family

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I have four. I have a friend who has 8 adopted kids. I used to have a Christian friend before I became Muslim who had 10 children. It's certainly possible. Obviously some compromises will have to be made. 

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In all the large families that I know, one parent stays home. I have a friend who is an engineer. Her husband is a self employed martial arts instructor. They have five girls. He schedules his classes in the evenings when she is home, and stays with his little ones while she is at work. It's not a typical arrangement, but it seems to work great. 

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4 hours ago, notme said:

I have four. I have a friend who has 8 adopted kids. I used to have a Christian friend before I became Muslim who had 10 children. It's certainly possible. Obviously some compromises will have to be made. 

I also love to adopt children. But 8 kids??? Only very strong women can properly look after 8 little kids. Did your friends hire any babysitter or someone who help them in doing house chores? Here, most of my peers have less than 2 kids.

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I think it's important to give a gap between kids. I read somewhere that first two years are very important. Kids, who are abused or are neglected during first two years of life are less intelligent. These days we read so many news of mothers killing their own kids. I don't think they are criminals or murderers, I think they are just pressured into having kids and they don't receive any help, so they get stressed out or frustrated. It's hard for me to function if I don't get enough sleep for a day or two. Not getting enough sleep for months or years can drive you crazy. You are more likely to do a better job if you are able to spend more time on each kid. 

I am not saying this about OP. I have seen a lot of people who are so loving towards kids but they are cruel with adults. It's crazy because if you are being mean to a kid's mother, it will have some effect on that kid, so you are hurting the kid. But some people become so kind when they are dealing with kids but they don't forgive the slightest weakness in the mother. At the end of the day, that kid will go home with the mother and she may take her frustration out on the kid intentionally or unintentionally. 

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Assalaam Alaikum, nothing wrong with wanting to have a big family, as LONG as you want one for the right reasons (making sure they're brought up in the love of Allah SWT and the Ahle Bayt A.S, grow up to serve Allah SWT and do good for the Ummah and not for the sake of showing off to others or competing with someone as to who has the larger family) AND if you're willing to make a lot of sacrifices (as some have said above, one parent being home FULL-TIME as opposed to baby-sitting or daycare and NOT STICKING them in front of the TV just to get some alone time). If you have the right and sincere intention, then with the Guidance of Allah go ahead and don't worry, He will provide for you and your family.

Before any of my kids I was on a very fixed single income and still am and had no idea of how I was going to provide for a family. But Allah SWT has Blessed me with four beautiful kids AlhumduLilah and so far everything is working out perfectly. I love all my children to death, and would give my life for them just to see them happy. But even with that being said, there are times where they drive me and my wife ABSOLUTELY INSANE and it is a LOT of work!!!! lol so just keep all that in that if you are willing to put up with all of that and have the rightful intention, everything should be alright.

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On 11/19/2017 at 4:45 AM, Sisterfatima1 said:

I have a desire to have a huge family I want to have 5+ children 

is it unrealistic these days to have such desires 

You got money go for it make 15 kids who cares, but if you cant afford to have15 kids don't make 15 kids. Think about their education money, insurance, food, clothes etc. etc. 

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