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Laayla

Standing Your Ground

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Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum 

Whenever I'm with my children or husband I avoid confrontations in public. However, when I'm by myself, I stand my ground and don't allow people to take advantage of me.

Here is what happened today:

I parked my car in the early morning in front of a building.  There is no sign that says "No Parking" there are no chains to block the parking space.   I return at 12 pm and find a sign on my windshield "Forbidden to park" in Arabic Mamnoo3 al waqaf. So the first time in my years living in Lebanon, am I being verbally attacked by a business owner of a store.  I could tell she is in fight mode and she was very aggressive in her demeanor.  I had no reaction and talked to her in a normal tone why is it forbidden to park here when there is no sign demonstrating not to park. All she continued to say is you can't park here, remove your car.

 I said why are you talking to me this way.  She puts her finger on her head and says, "This is the way I am."  I found it soooo amusing the way she was acting and obviously I wasn't able to have a decent conversation with her.  My next reponse was call the cops I want to talk to them.  She said don't istfizini, I guess best translated is don't insult me.  

I told the girl I'm not I just want to follow the law and I see no sign indicated not to park.  She goes to the store next to her and tells the man about what is going on.  I enter his place and with Assalam Alikum and a soft smile and he responded politely.  

I continued to say this girl has no akhlaq and she went bonkers from there.  Goes to my car and picks up a metal sign to bust my windows lol and starts yelling move your car.  Making a scene mind you wearing hijab she probably does it often, since she had no problem yelling and screaming.

I told the man please go ahead and film since I don't carry a phone.  He told me I have upset her lol and told me for the sake of Rasoul Allah remove your car.  Wacko girl drops the metal sign and comes back barging in with her hands on her hips.  I stare and she stares back.  She is standing on the doorway I said you will need to move if you want me to leave she said go on the side, I said no, you are in the way, she moves to the left and I walk past her with a smile on my face  going towards my car.  Nothing happened to the car and I left in peace.

How do you see yourselves in situations, fight or flight?

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah 

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Salam,

Its good that you did not just roll over to someone using forceful language against you.

We should never let someone treat us in that manner silently, never accept forceful behavior. Not in our private lives and neither in our politics.

I dont know how I would react because I am not a women with hijab but if some women did that to my wife and she would tell me about it, I would take her hand and go to the car, drive straight outside of the crazy ladies store and park, then get out and have some tea by the car. Should she come out, I would record it and then call the cops. Should she attack me or my wife, then I would give her a reality check regarding the laws of nature since she does not like to communicate in the language of humans.

Did you tell your husband about what happened?

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Just now, IbnSina said:

How do you even pronounce that word?

istfizini

like how do you pronounce "tf"? Maybe its istefizni?

lol
yea it is.. istefizeeneh
istafiz means "provoke" add the eene means "provoke me" (female)
its a lebanese dialect

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1 minute ago, kirtc said:

 

lol
yea it is.. istefizeeneh
istafiz means "provoke" add the eene means "provoke me" (female)
its a lebanese dialect

Ah okay, that makes sense. I tried to pronounce istfizini 10 times over without success hehe.

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3 minutes ago, IbnSina said:

Ah okay, that makes sense. I tried to pronounce istfizini 10 times over without success hehe.

:D

Edited by kirtc

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9 hours ago, shadow_of_light said:

Salam

In my opinion, you should not have argued with her and just removed your car.

Was your car in front of the entrance?

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum 

Joum3 mubaraqa dear brothers and sisters

Dear sister, beleive me when I tell you, I'm not a trouble maker but when facing an arrogant person, I remember the hadiths

@Pearl178 @Chaotic Muslem translation please


ورد عن النبي (ص) : إذا رأيتم المتواضعين من أمتي فتواضعوا لهم ، وإذا رأيتم المتكبرين فتكبروا عليهم ، فإن ذلك لهم مذلة وصغار. (مجموعة ورام ج1 ص201، جامع السعادات ج1 ص315)
 

التكبر على المتكبر عبادة

She wants to claim property that isn't hers to begin with, a form of control, and she has no right to impose this on the public.  

This causes so much chaos in a country like Lebanon. Almost two weeks ago the government destroyed a few businesses in hi as siloum because they built their businesses without permits and on public land.

 The owners started cursing Sayyid Hassan Nasrallah saying why he didn't prevent this from happening.  It's hilarious how people think, they can break the law and then think Sayyid is responsible.  People are sick in the head and money causes people to sell their souls to the devil.

Brother @IbnSina

No, I didn't tell him.  I don't like to worry him or upset him, I told my Sc Family. :)

Sister @ireallywannaknow

Stay your cool, keep your head up high, don't back down from your rights.  Especially when you live in a law of land.  Get police involved and never allow people to take advantage of you.  Because once they do it once they will do it a hundred times to other people too.  We need to stand up towards arrogance.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah 

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2 hours ago, Laayla said:

Bismehe Ta3ala,

Assalam Alikum 

Joum3 mubaraqa dear brothers and sisters

Dear sister, beleive me when I tell you, I'm not a trouble maker but when facing an arrogant person, I remember the hadiths

@Pearl178 @Chaotic Muslem translation please


ورد عن النبي (ص) : إذا رأيتم المتواضعين من أمتي فتواضعوا لهم ، وإذا رأيتم المتكبرين فتكبروا عليهم ، فإن ذلك لهم مذلة وصغار. (مجموعة ورام ج1 ص201، جامع السعادات ج1 ص315)
 

التكبر على المتكبر عبادة

She wants to claim property that isn't hers to begin with, a form of control, and she has no right to impose this on the public.  

This causes so much chaos in a country like Lebanon. Almost two weeks ago the government destroyed a few businesses in hi as siloum because they built their businesses without permits and on public land.

 The owners started cursing Sayyid Hassan Nasrallah saying why he didn't prevent this from happening.  It's hilarious how people think, they can break the law and then think Sayyid is responsible.  People are sick in the head and money causes people to sell their souls to the devil.

Brother @IbnSina

No, I didn't tell him.  I don't like to worry him or upset him, I told my Sc Family. :)

Sister @ireallywannaknow

Stay your cool, keep your head up high, don't back down from your rights.  Especially when you live in a law of land.  Get police involved and never allow people to take advantage of you.  Because once they do it once they will do it a hundred times to other people too.  We need to stand up towards arrogance.

M3 Salamah, FE AMIN Allah 

Salam

I understand you sister and I do believe that you are not a troublemaker. You were right to defend yourself when someone bullied you.

However, I think it is better to ignore such people and not to argue with them as Quran says:

خُذِ الْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْجَاهِلِينَ

I understood the hadith you posted. I also agree with you about those who break the laws and then blame others who are not responsible for it.

Edited by shadow_of_light

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